Chapter 30
Chapter 30
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: The Scolded Dog
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"Will you get engaged to me?"
Lena's voice asking that was so soft it almost felt like sound had texture.
"......Huh?"
But the question her voice formed was quite bewildering. At words he hadn't even imagined, a dumb sound slipped from Rin's mouth. His eyes widened endlessly, and the strength drained from his hand, dropping hers, which he'd been gripping tightly. Making a mockery of his previously eloquent speech, Rin's face turned into that of a startled cat.
'I meant for him to be flustered, but...'
Seeing him this flustered made her a bit annoyed. Lena glanced back and forth between Rin's shocked face and her freed hand, then narrowed her eyes gracefully.
"Mr. Rin, reacting like that is quite rude."
At Lena's playful remark, Rin belatedly came to his senses. No, he merely shifted his gaze as if pulling himself together, but his awkwardness remained.
"Or is that your best answer?"
"......Sorry, it was just unexpected."
When Lena asked again, Rin finally managed a reply. Realizing they were negotiating, he bought time with an apology. Then he hurriedly gauged her intentions. An engagement? Was she serious? He glanced at her just in case, but Lena only smiled as brightly as ever, revealing nothing of her true feelings. So Rin asked directly.
"Why an engagement?"
"Because it's the standard for alliances, isn't it?"
Lena's answer was light, and Rin slowly exhaled in relief. Fortunately, her voice was objective. And sensible. As she said, marriage was a powerful tool for alliances.
'Even so, the parties involved don't usually bring it up themselves...'
Flustered again by Lena's boldness, Rin continued.
"If it's like that, there are other ways..."
"So you're saying no to an engagement?"
Reading his attempt to slip away, Lena pressed again. When Rin couldn't reply, she feigned sadness on purpose.
"Well, being the Eastern Duke's fiancée would be too much for someone like me anyway."
"No, it's not like that..."
"And come to think of it, you already warned me before. Not to like you too much."
"Why bring that up...?"
"But it's not because of romantic feelings, so you can relax."
"Wait...!"
Rin covered his face in horror as old history was dredged up again. But contradicting his action, the back of his neck turned bright red, fully betraying his emotions. Under the bright moonlight, a single bashful Eastern Duke hiding his face. Lena proudly admired her handiwork. As expected, Rin suited blushing far better than raising his voice. Thinking she should stop here, but tempted by how cute he was, Lena added more.
"I'm saying this about something in the past, but telling me not to develop romantic feelings was really rude. I laughed it off at the time, but deep down I wondered if you found me that unappealing."
"No, that wasn't the meaning at all. If anything..."
"If anything?"
Rin startled into an explanation at Lena's belated complaint. But even that explanation didn't reach a proper end. The same when Lena asked back. Rin regretted letting the words slip and glanced at her cautiously. Unlike him, pierced by shame, Lena was at ease. Moreover, she seemed deliberately mischievous. Definitely more playful than usual. Rin wondered why Lena was suddenly acting up, then realized he'd been too unkind. Telling her not to like him before, and dodging the engagement now. He'd skipped the really important talk, so it was bound to cause misunderstandings. So, weighing his fault, Rin explained.
"Let me explain again. What I said before, and why the engagement... is difficult—none of it is because of you."
"Yes?"
"It's all my problem."
Rin mistook why Lena was upset, and unaware of that, she asked the reason. Hesitating, he quietly confessed.
"I can't take a partner."
Just then, wind blew through the forest. The delicate grass rustled in a wave. Before that sound faded, he whispered again.
"Probably, for life."
Lena brushed back her fluttering hair and looked at Rin. He smiled wistfully, embarrassed by his own confession.
At that fragile-seeming sight, Lena lost her words for a moment. After a long pause, carefully choosing her words, she murmured softly.
"I wasn't planning to go as far as marriage anyway..."
"Huh?"
"It was a temporary alliance from the start, right? Until the tomb conquest."
Rin's eyes rounded at Lena's words. At his innocent reaction, Lena tilted her head.
"Did you actually think we'd get married?"
Lena asked without intent to tease. But Rin's face paled instead. With a ghastly expression, he asked back.
"Then after the conquest?"
"We'd break off the engagement."
"Th-that..."
Rin was speechless at Lena's firm answer. He rolled countless words in his mouth, barely forming one sentence to spit out.
"Is that really that easy?"
"If we both agree, there's no reason it wouldn't be. Nothing else is tangled up."
"But your reputation or..."
"I don't care, but your position is different, I suppose."
"I don't care either... No, that's not the point..."
"Did you think I was actually proposing?"
At Lena's finishing blow, Rin wanted to scream. In fact, his soul had been wailing since earlier. To an Eastern youth who valued etiquette, marriage was a near-eternal vow. So he'd naturally assumed the engagement Lena proposed would lead to marriage. Realizing his misunderstanding and blunder, Rin fell into breathing difficulties. And though she found his self-dramatizing irritating, Lena hadn't meant to torment him this much, so she felt a little sorry.
"It's okay. That can happen. Though the misunderstandings do pile up a bit..."
Lena's consolation was subtle, making Rin suffer even more.
"Sorry, I got the wrong idea..."
Rin groaned in a hoarse voice. After a moment, he gathered himself from the solitary storm and lifted his head. Cruelly, Lena was smiling. Rin stared at the lady for a bit, then let out a long breath as if he'd finally sorted his thoughts.
"Is that the engagement you want?"
His cautious voice was serious. Lena didn't answer. Instead of waiting, Rin added softly.
"If that's it, then it's fine."
Her smile deepened at his steady voice. If that's it, then it's fine. Was it okay to permit it like this? The sudden engagement demand must have been bewildering, yet Rin didn't waver and stuck to the alliance proposal. Thanks to that, Lena, who had planned to vaguely dodge, was put in a spot instead. Rin waited for her answer. She couldn't pretend otherwise anymore. So Lena bit her lower lip with a smile, then slowly opened her mouth.
***
'Why isn't she coming?'
Past midnight, alone in her room, Yuni waited wide awake for her lady. After anxiously waiting a long while, a suspicious sound came from the terrace outside. It was Lena coming up from the garden.
"Lady!"
Hearing it, Yuni rushed to the terrace. Her lady, who usually leaped up effortlessly, was today leaning exhaustedly on the railing. Yuni hurried over and pulled her arm. With help, Lena climbed over the railing and promptly tilted. So Yuni braced her back with her body and asked.
"Lady, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine..."
"Liar!"
Yuni bit her lip and supported Lena. As soon as they entered the room, Lena collapsed onto the bed like crumbling. As Lena breathed raggedly, Yuni fetched a towel. Then she wiped the sweat from Lena's forehead. Embarrassed by Yuni's care, Lena mumbled.
"It's not even that high usually."
"That's why I told you to rest today. And you go and do this to yourself...!"
Yuni nagged while unbuttoning Lena's top. Under the lamplight, her bare shoulder was revealed. Lena's porcelain-smooth shoulder was marred with bruises. She'd returned quite injured from the tomb. Especially this shoulder bruise was from the marquis's poisoned needle. A horrific poison. One that caused pain like the body burning away, killing ordinary people instantly without chance to react.
"Ugh!"
"Sorry, did it hurt?"
When Lena flinched, Yuni startled and pulled her hand away mid-application. Lena held her breath to endure the pain, and Yuni resumed the ointment while grumbling.
"Please avoid anything you can, I beg you."
"I will. Honestly, I nearly died this time. Lucky it was the tomb."
"......Are you smiling right now?"
Lena's voice was light as ever, and while Yuni understood her lady's attitude, she still resented it. Lena believed preemptive dominance was the best way to survive. A conclusion drawn from enduring alone since childhood. People or beasts alike avoid what they fear. So her lady had overexerted herself habitually again. To tame her beast-like father. She could've rested at night then, but Lena had dragged this body to meet Rin to signal she was fine.
"So, did you meet Mr. Rin well?"
"So-so..."
"And confirm?"
"Yes, doesn't seem like he told anyone what I said."
"If he had, he'd be Rin the bastard, not Rin."
Yuni vented her anger at Rin for burdening Lena. The day before the expedition, Lena had given Rin considerable information. A risky move. If it reached other ears, it could put her in a tough spot. She didn't regret helping him, but discipline was needed.
"He said he didn't tell anyone?"
"No, I didn't ask directly."
"Then how are you sure?"
"Because he proposed the alliance."
Asking for an alliance meant wanting to share secrets. Fortunately, Rin was tight-lipped. Meanwhile, at the word alliance, Yuni's eyes sparkled wide.
"So what did he say?"
"I haven't answered yet."
"Why?"
"I wasn't sure."
Lena answered with a sigh-like smile. Truthfully, her head had already accepted it. An alliance was a solid proposal. Rin had convinced her enough, and she agreed with most of what he said. Yet she couldn't decide readily. Because she was anxious.
"Really, he came on too strong all of a sudden."
Lena smiled, blaming Rin. Actually, from the moment he took the initiative and approached, she'd felt resistance. It wasn't Rin's fault. Borrowing his words, this was Lena's problem. Bestowing favor and joining hands were different. Rejected favor was just regrettable, but shaken-off hands were painful. And Lena was someone who particularly couldn't bear that.
"I wish things could stay like this."
Lena wanted Rin to remain a friend, not an ally. Just meet and talk, pet him occasionally, and help. She didn't want to give him a chance to betray her by forming an alliance. Didn't want to grant the right to use and discard. Bringing up engagement oddly was for that reason. She expected he'd naturally refuse due to position, creating a situation where they both stepped back. She wanted to gloss it over hiding her true feelings. But Rin took even that impulsive proposal seriously. So when he accepted the condition, Lena dodged instead, fleeing without properly concluding the talk. Leaving things half-baked.
'Pathetic.'
Peering into her unsettled heart, Lena ended up mocking herself. She'd thought herself strong enough, but weak spots remained. Lena felt a bit sad about that.
***
At the same time, back in his quarters, Rin was lost in a daze.
'Is she in a bad mood?'
Rin replayed his conversation with Lena on his half-blank face. Her gentle teasing was usual, but today felt different somehow. After bringing up the alliance, the mood turned odd intermittently, and right before parting, she definitely seemed displeased.
'Why?'
Rin tried to pinpoint his mistake. But nothing came to mind. He'd had a foolish misunderstanding, but it cleared quickly, and afterward he gladly agreed to her proposal. Actually, the engagement was a pretty good idea. For Lena opposing the marquis, being the Eastern Duke's fiancée could be advantageous. And the Eastern Duke could escape isolation by allying with the Southern Duke's proxy. Beneficial to both, so Rin honestly expressed it was fine.
'Then why get mad?'
Rin propped his chin on his clasped hands, pondering. Just minutes ago, he'd told Lena: If that's the engagement you want, it's fine. Then Lena bit her lower lip smiling and replied.
―I'm honored you permit it.
At that point, he thought she'd accepted the proposal.
―But could I think it over more? Even as a deal, it's still an engagement—I can't do it with just anyone.
But her follow-up felt strangely off. He wanted to ask her meaning, but her smile was too pretty, leaving him speechless.
'......Why?'
Rin couldn't understand Lena's mood. Truthfully, more incomprehensible was his own mood. He felt thoroughly rejected right now. Very strongly.