Chemical Bonds (4)
"W-we're Hyun's friends! So why do you keep blocking us from going in...!"
"Even if you say that... the instructions I received were..."
"...What is this?"
Yeon Minha's voice carried an icy chill. Her mood had been so pleasant she'd been humming a tune, but it froze solid the instant she spotted three female students arguing with the guard in front of the Cradle ward.
"Miss. You've arrived. Well, these students keep requesting entry, so..."
At the sound of Yeon Minha's approach, the guard's troubled face brightened in an instant. She had long since won over the staff guarding the independently rented ward. The guard began recounting every difficulty he'd faced.
"...Hmph."
Yeon Minha quickly pieced together what had happened. The three would-be intruders let out soft gasps under her sharp, sweeping glare. All three faces were familiar. She'd already turned them away once before, yet here they were again, undeterred.
The white jackets they wore as self-proclaimed close friends of his all bore first-year badges on the lapels.
"The new students this year really do seem to lack standards. They can't even understand simple instructions. Didn't I clearly tell you last time that outsiders are prohibited from entering?"
"I checked, and there's no such rule in the academy regulations. This is overstepping your authority, senior. How can you prevent friends from visiting someone who's sick...!"
One of them stepped forward despite her obvious fear, confronting Yeon Minha directly. The name tag read Yu Sera. Bleached ponytail, a skirt shortened to the point of indecency, and the audacity to talk back to a senior. Everything about her made her a terrible candidate for his friend.
"That's right. If you keep doing this, we'll report you to the student council...!"
The girl beside her with the name tag Ju Yeoreum chimed in. She had shoulder-length hair and what looked like an old scar on her right arm. Yeon Minha had heard the name in passing. Something about being the granddaughter of a capital logistics chain founder. She appeared modest at first glance, but in Yeon Minha's experience, the more innocent they looked, the more likely they were to harbor dark intentions.
"If... if you're harassing Hyun in any way... even you, senior, won't be forgiven..."
Finally, the girl with the Ha Yena name tag, a brown-haired student who looked vaguely familiar, spoke in a trembling voice. She gave off the harmless impression of a gentle squirrel. Yet her eyes looked hollow and her complexion dark, as if she'd spent several sleepless nights consumed by worry. Her direct gaze felt deeply inappropriate, leaving an uneasy feeling that she was hiding something sinister behind it.
Yeon Minha let out a deep internal sigh. He was bold and courageous, but perhaps lacking in delicacy; his judgment of people was clearly flawed. Every single girl who claimed to be his friend seemed riddled with problems. He had come from a remote pioneer village, after all. It made sense that his discernment in such matters might be lacking.
It was troublesome, but this fell well within the range of things she could help him with.
"Can't you hear? I told you to get lost... to leave."
The words that should have come out sharply according to her personality were reflexively softened at the thought that someone might overhear. Even so, her tone carried more than enough intimidation.
"His condition is serious. He requires delicate and intensive treatment. This decision was made because an outsider wandering around could easily worsen his state."
"Don't lie...! There are people who clearly saw Hyun taking a walk around the campus...!"
"Ha. This is impossible to communicate with. What are you doing? Remove them immediately."
"Understood. Now, students. You can't behave like this here. First..."
Unable to endure Yeon Minha's glare any longer, the silent guard began herding the unwelcome visitors away. In the end, they left without achieving their goal, heading toward the main gate. They seemed to be moving in the direction of the annex where the student council was located, but that wasn't her concern.
Only then did Yeon Minha enter the ward with a somewhat lighter heart. When she opened the hospital room door, a familiar scene unfolded. A masked male student sitting by the window. A cat purring contentedly in his arms. And her own simple bed installed beside his.
"You've arrived?"
"...Yes."
She tried to maintain her haughty demeanor, but even their brief exchange made her heart race again.
"You're here earlier than usual today. Are you perhaps tired? I have somewhere to go for a bit, so you'll probably need to sleep a little later..."
On the other hand, his nonchalant attitude toward her stirred a flicker of irritation. It seemed he had no idea what she'd just gone through on his behalf. And though he claimed not to remember, how could this man act so shamelessly after doing something so shameless? It was no ordinary skill, the way he shook her heart by speaking formally most of the time, then suddenly dropping into casual speech at critical moments, only to wipe his mouth clean as if nothing had happened.
Well, being ugly didn't mean one had to die. Rather, his obsession with compensating for his shortcomings and turning them into weapons felt even more terrifying. After all, she herself was the victim of it.
"D-do you think I'm some kind of sleepyhead? And I told you to avoid going outside for a while. Why do you keep wandering around... what if your condition worsens..."
"I'm fully healed now, so there's no wound left to worsen. Besides, staying still would only slow my recovery. I need to move around moderately."
The memory of his broad, solid chest and gentle fingers resurfaced, making Yeon Minha shake her head vigorously before turning the questions on him instead.
"...Where are you going?"
"Just a short walk and some exercise. The ward was completely empty, which was nice. Maybe because it's in a corner..."
"I... I see. Then it's not urgent. Could you talk with me for a moment...?"
At her words, the male student stopped preparing to leave and sat back down.
"You... asked Lady Hae Wolhwa to nominate me for the Gold Star Merit Medal, didn't you...?"
"That's correct. You heard about it? Just to be clear, you don't have veto power over this, senior. If it's about pointless pride..."
"I know. I never intended to refuse anyway. After all, I'm in a position where I must follow your orders..."
"I see..."
Surprised by her unexpectedly compliant response, the male student gave a small nod with a rare look of confusion.
"...So what did you want to say?"
Having finally reached the main point, Yeon Minha drew in a sharp breath before barely managing to speak.
"...Your face."
"Pardon?"
"Show me your face... please."
Recently, there had been a subtle change in Yeon Minha's attitude. To be precise, it started after they returned from the south, from the moment she woke up in the ward. There had been a time when she was completely drained, like a withered plant, but lately it seemed her usual arrogance and assertiveness were returning. That said, it didn't feel like the severe resistance and rejection from before. She wasn't using excessively uncomfortable words or snapping at him, and if this was her true personality, it almost felt like she was treating him more comfortably.
If she truly had complaints, she wouldn't be visiting the ward so frequently of her own accord. Their relationship had begun through coercive means when no other options existed, but from a long-term perspective, this seemed like a positive development.
Despite thinking this, her sudden request caught him completely off guard. She'd shown no interest in that area before, and now she was asking to see his face out of nowhere. He wondered if it was some kind of joke, but her determined expression made it clear she was completely serious.
"You want to see my face? That's rather sudden..."
"...I've decided to trust you."
"Pardon?"
"I've decided to trust you. To be honest, there are still many things I don't understand, and just thinking about the humiliation makes my teeth grind... but I've chosen to believe in you."
"..."
"We need each other, don't we? Right? You need me for your benefit and your sponsor's... and I need you to overcome my mental pollution... so isn't trust the only option?"
"But why my face..."
"Ah, no matter what, you're someone who'll be by my side from now on... I should at least know what you look like...! I thought this much of a request was reasonable..."
Her voice, which had started so confidently, trailed off weakly.
"To be honest, I thought you'd already seen it while I was unconscious."
"I-I didn't...! What do you take me for? Of course I was curious, but I couldn't just peek however I wanted..."
"..."
I fell into thought. For someone who had been trying to improve our relationship, this shift in attitude was quite welcome. And truthfully, I couldn't find anything particularly wrong with her request. There was no real reason not to show her. The reason I wore a mask was purely personal discomfort, after all.
But...
"...I can't."
"Why, why...! It's just that much..."
"It's hideous."
"Huh...?"
A small, deflated sound escaped Yeon Minha's lips as she had been about to argue back fiercely.
"So... I don't really recommend it. There's no other reason. I'm not particularly hiding anything. There's nothing I absolutely can't show, but if that's your reason..."
"What? I thought..."
However, Yeon Minha lightly brushed off my concern as if it were nothing. An inexplicable look of relief washed over her face.
"Who asked you to critique your appearance? I simply meant we should build a relationship of trust. Even if you were the most horribly ugly man in the world, I wouldn't care at all."
"..."
"It's just... not knowing what you look like feels strange... After you even saved my life, is this much really too much to ask...?"
Her voice carried what seemed like genuine desperation, leaving me with no room to argue. After a brief silence, I had no choice but to speak.
"...I did warn you."
"Y-yes..."
Yeon Minha swallowed hard and nodded. I brought my hand to the lock on my mask and began releasing the mechanism. The woman who had been urging me to reveal what lay beneath had fallen silent as well.
With each clicking sound, an anxiety like defensive barriers falling one by one filled me completely. My heart pounded violently. Cold sweat poured down like rain. My sisters had always been people who would only say kind things for my sake. But would Yeon Minha be the same? Perhaps this choice was the worst possible one. Maybe I should have just shoved the contract at her and refused to the end.
'You still don't understand? You're neither strong nor reliable. At least your face was passable, but now even that's become useless. You... have no right to stay by my side.'
The voice from the past rang in my ears unbidden, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
"...What? It's not bad."
But the next moment, Yeon Minha's indifferent voice shattered those hallucinations like glass.
"...Hey. If you keep your eyes closed like that, how am I supposed to see properly?"
"..."
At her request, I slightly lifted my eyelids to find Yeon Minha still wearing her usual pouty expression right before me.
"...Oh my."
When our eyes met, Yeon Minha raised her eyebrows in slight surprise, but quickly returned to her usual self.
"Ahem. It's fine. I thought..."
"You think it's fine...?"
"Yes. Honestly, it's not bad at all. Really not bad."
"You don't have to force yourself to say that..."
"Do I look like the type of person who would force herself to say such things? When it comes to aesthetic standards, I'm someone who wouldn't compromise even if a knife were at my throat."
"I see..."
"That's what I'm saying. Really. I thought it would be something else..."
Yeon Minha fell silent for a moment before glancing at my face and asking.
"...Isn't it stuffy?"
"It was at first."
"H-how long have you been wearing it...?"
"About two years now. But I've gotten used to it, so it's fine."
"Still, it must feel stuffy sometimes..."
After a moment of contemplation, Yeon Minha looked up at me again and asked.
"...Hey. From now on, when it's just the two of us, how about taking off the mask...?"
"Pardon?"
"You should at least have room to breathe. Let me say it again: I don't care at all what you look like. So..."
"...I see. I'll think about it."
-Ding-dong~
Just as I finished speaking, the preliminary bell announcing curfew rang through the amplifier in the hospital room.
"...It seems curfew is approaching soon. Senior. I think I need to step out briefly before then."
"Go ahead. And think positively about my suggestion..."
"Understood. Then..."
Leaving Yeon Minha nodding, I put my mask back on and left the room. The sky outside had already darkened into night, with stars and the moon twinkling above. Beneath their soft light, I mulled over Yeon Minha's words for a long time.
Not bad... she had said.
As the sound of his footsteps faded into the distance, Yeon Minha stood motionless in the same spot for a long while. Only when she could no longer hear them did she stagger toward the wall. Leaning her back against it unsteadily, she slid down slowly until she was sitting on the floor.
Yeon Minha spread her palms and covered her face with them. She drew her knees up and buried her upper body against them.
"Haa..."
Her ears had turned as red as ripe strawberries, and rough, uneven breaths escaped her lips. When she finally lifted her face after some time, it was flushed bright crimson with the same deep blush that colored her ears.
"I don't even know anymore..."
Yeon Minha let out a weak surrender, as if she'd given up on everything. And at the same time, a small ripple she had previously dismissed as insignificant began to spread into larger waves.
"But... who exactly is Yeon-i..."
It was the name of someone who had endlessly shed tears of apology and remorse while he slept. A single sticky, unpleasant seed of suspicion began to burrow into her mind.