The Sinner's Chapel
Where had Tezman gone? He must have heard that she had woken up, yet he hadn't shown his face even once.
Who was supposed to be angry right now? After pushing her this far, where had he disappeared to? There was no one to acknowledge her anger, which only made the frustration worse.
In the end, after lying in bed for a long time, Sua rose and headed for the bathroom. The moment she faced her reflection in the mirror, horror struck her.
She finally understood why MacPhee had avoided her eyes. Her entire body was covered in the marks of his bites and sucks.
“C-crazy...”
It would have been quicker to look for skin he hadn't marked. As she stared at the traces, the memory of him biting into her flesh rose vividly.
The way he had sucked and bitten with such relentless hunger. The mere recollection made the space between her legs twitch.
“...Really...”
He had turned her body into one that craved only him. A body that grew wet at the mere thought of him.
“Ha...”
Mafia. None of that mattered anymore. Her body had already fallen into such lewd corruption that there was nowhere left to sink.
She stepped into the shower stall and carefully washed the already damp area between her thighs. By the time Sua emerged from her long shower, a tray waited on the bedroom table.
MacPhee must have left it. The muffins and madeleines looked delicious, but she had no appetite.
She went straight to the dressing room and froze. The moment she entered, his scent enveloped her. Her gaze drifted to the row of his suits hanging on one side.
Staring at his dressing room, filled entirely with black, Sua turned away. In perfect contrast, her own clothes were nothing but pure white. A small laugh escaped her.
If he was darkness, she was light. Black and white. A pair that should never have matched, yet somehow did.
Just like Tezman and Sua.
She opened a drawer. Even the underwear was pure white. She picked one at random, then chose the plainest dress. Worried the white fabric would be see-through, she slipped on a chemise first before pulling the dress over it.
But as she prepared to leave the bedroom, anxiety gripped her.
What if he was waiting for her to come out? Would he be standing there the moment she stepped outside? After a long hesitation, Sua carefully opened the bedroom door.
The instant it swung open, she heard someone shoot to their feet. The person she expected to see was not Tezman, but Cact and Leroi.
“Sua.”
At Leroi calling her name, Sua asked,
“...Where is Tezman?”
Cact spoke then.
“An urgent matter came up, so he left for Germany. He didn’t want to go, but… there was a situation he simply could not avoid.”
A situation he could not avoid. There might truly be one, yet a wave of disappointment still washed over her. As Sua stayed silent, Cact continued.
“He said he would return before midnight, so please don’t worry.”
Sua studied the two men standing before her. They didn’t seem to fit. The mafia who killed without hesitation and committed every evil act felt impossibly distant from these two.
“I have a question...”
“Yes, please ask.”
“Are the two of you… also mafia?”
Cact and Leroi exchanged a glance before answering.
“Yes. We are.”
“Ah… I see.”
Then did these two kill people as well? Without a flicker of emotion? Even Leroi, who had always treated her with perfect courtesy and a calm face, and Cact, who had been endlessly polite and kind.
Looking troubled, Sua said,
“I… May I get some fresh air?”
Cact’s expression shifted as if he had just remembered something.
“Actually, there is something I must show you.”
“That can wait until later...”
“No. I believe you should see it now. It’s in the garden.”
At the insistence that she must see it, Sua decided to follow Cact. She had planned to walk in the garden anyway, and whatever he wanted to show her was there as well.
Normally she would have passed the fountain and strolled along the path lined with elegantly trimmed oval topiaries, but Cact led her in the opposite direction. There was a separate path that branched off before the fountain, hidden behind the garden trees.
Soon a garden bursting with flowers appeared before her. Nestled among the blooms stood a pure white greenhouse.
“This is...”
“Master Tezman did not want you to give up everything because of him.”
“What… do you mean?”
“He said that since it was a place you had cherished for so long, it should exist here too. He asked me personally to arrange it.”
With those cryptic words, Cact smiled gently at her.
“You may go inside. This is a space Master Tezman created solely for you.”
A space created solely for her. Curiosity stirred. As she slowly approached the greenhouse, a stone path emerged between the overflowing flowerbeds. It reminded her of the path at the church where Father Vincenzo and Father Yohan had served.
Not far along the path, something caught her eye. A holy water font made of transparent crystal.
“No way...”
Her gaze lifted to the greenhouse. She pushed open the tightly closed glass door and stepped inside. The rich scent of flowers enveloped her at once. Sunlight poured through the glass ceiling crowded with blossoms and trees, as one would expect in a greenhouse. At the far end of that light stood a cross. And before the cross sat a church pew nearly identical to the one she had always used at Father Vincenzo’s church.
“Ha...”
It was a chapel made just for her. One he had built solely for Sua. Only then did she fully grasp Cact’s earlier words. The meaning behind not wanting her to abandon everything for his sake.
Even though she had given up being a nun, he wanted her to keep the faith she had held so dear. That was why he had built her a chapel.
Before she realized it, tears brimmed in Sua’s eyes.
“...This goes against doctrine.”
Building an entire chapel instead of a simple prayer room in the house. The thought was so like him that laughter spilled from her lips.
There was nothing to be done. No matter how cruel a mafia boss he was, it was Sua who had opened her heart to him.
Besides, how could she not fall for a mafia boss capable of something this tender?
She had already fallen so far that even this seemed lovable, but it didn’t matter. She had already chosen to fall into corruption together with him.
Sua walked forward slowly. She gazed at the pond and flowers that mimicked a main altar, then quietly sat on the pew.
It had been so long. Lifting her head to look at the cross hanging among the wooden beams, Sua’s hands came together of their own accord.
“Lord, I have sinned and hurt Your heart. Even so, You showed me mercy and gave me another chance, yet….”
Her voice broke, throat tightening. She had not thought she would dare pray again. Before God she was a corrupted, faithless being. After a moment she continued, voice steady once more.
“Even so, please forgive me, who must keep on sinning.”
When she had first studied the Bible at the convent, she could never understand Eve eating the forbidden fruit. Why had she been unable to resist such temptation? Now she knew. She, too, had been unable to resist Tezman’s temptation.
Fervent believers might call her Satan for saying such a thing. She knew she was betraying God and committing sin, yet she could not stop herself.
If being his one salvation meant she must fall, then she would fall gladly. That was how deeply Tezman had taken root inside her heart.
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
She carefully made the sign of the cross and opened her eyes. Even looking at the cross felt like a sin, yet her heart felt strangely lighter.
May God grant her mercy.
Sua remained inside the greenhouse chapel for a long time. When she still had not emerged after a while, the worried Cact and Leroi peeked inside. What they saw allowed them to breathe in relief.
Sua was smiling brightly as she examined every corner of the chapel. She was even humming to herself while rearranging the already placed flowers to spots she liked better.
Watching quietly, Cact spoke to Leroi.
“It’s a relief. She seems to like it after all.”
Leroi nodded in agreement.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her smile like that. Just like when she was at the church.”
Cact turned his gaze back to the greenhouse. Now all he could do was hope his master would return soon.