Pray to Me
Since the first faint light of dawn, Sua’s heart had been in turmoil. Having confronted only Tezman, she found herself resenting him for ruthlessly stirring the chaos already churning inside her—a chaos made heavier by the children’s departure.
“Be good and prepare yourself to fall.”
His voice kept resounding in her head, loud and relentless. The harder she struggled to break free, the deeper she seemed to sink. She already knew that once you stepped into the swamp, flailing only brought more pain than simply letting yourself drown. That knowledge left her furious with her own helplessness.
“Sister! Sister!”
Julia’s bright call dragged Sua’s consciousness back from the abyss. Julia, oblivious to the thoughts that had consumed her, beamed and threw herself into Sua’s arms.
“We’re staying at the church for one more week! I get to spend more time with you, Sister!”
One more week? The knowledge that she could remain with the children brought a flicker of joy, yet she could not surrender to it completely. Her resolve to return to Korea had not wavered.
“...Why? Why is that?”
“They said repairing the orphanage is taking longer! Isn’t it great? I’m so happy I get to stay with you longer, Sister! Aren’t you happy too?”
“I am happy. To be here with our Julia.”
“See? I knew it!”
As Sua gently patted the small back of the girl who clung to her once more, her own eyes drifted, restless and unfocused. She had promised Father Vincenzo she would stay until the orphanage children returned. Naturally, that promise had lengthened her time here.
“Julia! Father Yohan is handing out snacks!”
“Really?! Sister, I’ll be back after I get some!”
Julia wriggled free and dashed off toward her friends.
“Sua.”
At the perfectly timed call from Father Vincenzo, Sua rose abruptly to her feet.
“Father, from what Julia just said…”
“Yes. I received the news this morning as well. The director told me a sponsor suggested repairing the entire orphanage while they had the chance, and they accepted the offer.”
“A sponsor…? If it’s a sponsor, then—”
“Indeed. It is Mr. Tezman, the same man who has donated to our church.”
Tezman. The mere sound of his name made Sua’s mind reel. So this was what he had meant at dawn. Even though she understood he was deliberately trying to bind her here, she could not bring herself to tell Father Vincenzo she would leave at once.
“Sua. You need not stay until the children return…”
“It’s all right. I’m staying because I care for the children too.”
Having grown up in an orphanage herself, she knew better than anyone the desperate hunger for a human touch. That was why Julia—and all the orphanage children—lingered in her thoughts. Perhaps every reason she gave was merely an excuse, a way to justify staying a little longer by his side.
“Sua. Are you truly all right with this?”
Sua nodded at Father Vincenzo as he asked once more.
“Sister! I brought snacks for you too!”
Sua waved at Julia, who came running while shaking the treats in her small hands. Father Vincenzo watched the scene in silence. Between the deep wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, his gaze filled with quiet sorrow. He brought his palms together. Over those clasped hands, his murmured words drifted like a prayer.
May God’s grace be with you.
After that day, Tezman visited the church as faithfully as if he were keeping attendance. Like Santa Claus, he arrived each day bearing gifts, and to the children he truly became Santa himself.
“I hope the handsome uncle comes again today!”
“Me too! At first he seemed super scary, but when I said I wanted cake, he bought it right away. He’s actually really nice!”
“Sister, don’t you think so too?!”
Listening to the children chatter, Sua’s face colored with visible discomfort.
“Ah… yes.”
To the children, Tezman was a good man. To her, he was not. She feared only the hand of temptation he extended every single day. No—to be brutally honest, what she truly feared was not him, but herself: the version of her that might seize that hand the moment temptation flickered.
“But why isn’t he here today?! We were supposed to go see the flowers with the priests!”
Father Vincenzo and Father Yohan had offered to take the children to a nearby flower farm. Sua had volunteered to remain behind to prepare lunch.
Tezman usually arrived early in the morning and left around noon, so she had assumed she could avoid him even if she stayed alone at the church. Yet for some reason, today he had not appeared. If he arrived while everyone else was at the flower farm and she was left here by herself…
“…Surely not.”
But “surely not” became reality in less than an hour. Alone in the church, Sua checked the time. There was still more than enough left to pray and prepare lunch before the children returned.
Because the children slept at the church, she had missed her usual early-morning and late-evening prayers for quite some time. Now that the children were away, Sua intended to sit comfortably and pray without restraint. She took her usual seat and had just clasped her hands when—
Her bowed head snapped up on reflex.
With unhurried steps, he approached her slowly. When Tezman finally stopped beside her, he continued.
A warning siren blared inside her skull. There was no one else in the church. Only the two of them.
Lead me not into temptation.
In her desperation she unconsciously tightened her clasped hands. As though refusing to let her fall, he took those tightly pressed palms and drew them toward him.
The words were so sweetly whispered she could not refuse them. He truly was the serpent of Eden.
His hand slid through the slowly parting gap between her palms. His fingers crept upward, slipping deliberately between hers until they were perfectly intertwined. Sua’s gaze trembled at the completed gesture of laced fingers.
“…Tezman.”
“Yes, Sister?”
“Don’t do this.”
He laughed, low and soft.
“I haven’t done anything, yet you tell me not to.”
His slanted gaze as he looked down at her was utterly composed.
“Anyone would think I’d done something terrible to you.”
Every word he spoke was another trial. How was she supposed to resist a man who had openly set out to seduce her? She even began to doubt whether she truly wanted to resist at all.
Otherwise, how could she allow herself to be shaken by him this badly? She was the one inventing excuses, rationalizing his actions, and granting them legitimacy.
“Sister!”
A voice like salvation cut through the air. Sua snatched her hand from his grasp, shot to her feet, and spoke quickly.
“Well then, take care on your way.”
Tezman barely contained his laughter as he watched her flee. It was obvious she was wavering, and the way she still struggled was both pitiable and strangely endearing. It didn’t matter. He could wait. His lower body felt painfully tight. He glanced downward, confirming the prominent bulge straining against the front of his trousers. Gently stroking the swollen tip that threatened to tear through the fabric, he murmured.
“I wonder how much longer I can endure.”
For now, he would have to be satisfied. Extending the children’s stay at the church and buying time to keep her from returning to Korea was enough. During that period he would shake her to her core. Until, in the end, she fell into his arms.
Having barely subdued his viciously aroused cock, Tezman stepped outside the church only to find she had already vanished. He caught one of the children playing in front of the building and asked.
“Where is the Sister?”
“Sister? She’s in the convent kitchen! She’s making lunch!”
Now that he thought about it, it was already lunchtime. Time with Sua always slipped away like water, impossible to measure.
The child continued with innocent cheer.
“Uncle, you should eat with us! Sister’s cooking is the best!”
“Ah. I see.”
Lunch prepared by Sua.
Tezman offered a seemingly gentle smile.
“All right.”
Sua, who had forced her troubled heart into some semblance of calm, focused entirely on preparing lunch. She was grateful that the task at least let her push his presence from her mind.
“I’ll make plenty so everyone can eat their fill.”
The ingredients that had always been scarce were now abundant thanks to Tezman’s donations. Humming with quiet excitement at the thought of feeding the children, Sua lifted her head at the sound of approaching footsteps.
“Sister! I’m hungry!”
Behind the brightly smiling child stood the very man Sua had tried so desperately to erase from her thoughts.
“I came for lunch.”
Oblivious to the way Sua’s insides burned, a smile bloomed across Tezman’s lips.