Life

The kiss came to an end. It had been short, and yet long.

"...Oppa."

Seol-ah, lying beside me beneath the covers, asked.

"H-huh? What is it?"

Still flustered from what had just happened, I answered a little too quickly.

"...N-nothing. I... I love you."

She said it, then whipped her head away.

"Ghk...!"

I clutched at my heart and groaned.

"What...?! Why are you suddenly like that?! Are you all right?!"

Seol-ah stared at me, eyes sharp with worry.

"You're too cute...!"

I pulled her in and held her tight.

"What... so that was it?"

She let out a laugh edged with relief and hugged me back.

"Seol-ah."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"..."

At my whisper her face flushed red, and she burrowed deeper into my arms.

"And... I'm sorry it took me so long to notice."

How I had failed to catch on for a whole year, I still couldn't understand. Looking back over everything that had passed, I had been an idiot among idiots—the most spectacular idiot of the lot.

"Oppa!"

There was the way she came running to throw herself into my arms every time she saw me.

"Hehe..."

The way she burrowed into my chest at bedtime, ears flushed, grinning like a fool.

"Whoa..."

The way, when we trained, she watched me instead of the sword.

"How's this outfit? No, not that one.... How does it look to you? I'm only going to wear it at home anyway...."

The way she kept asking, strangely often, for my opinion whenever she chose clothes.

"Ahem. Ahem."

The way she cleared her throat and clung to me. Looking back, she had been broadcasting it at full volume.

"...Mmm. That part is pretty unforgivable, I'll give you that."

Seol-ah fidgeted in my arms and wrapped her own around my waist.

"But since it's... like this now... it's fine."

"Thank you."

I chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

A light peck.

"Eep...?! What are you doing?!"

Seol-ah startled hard and clutched at her crown.

"Why? Not allowed?"

"...I didn't wash my hair today."

Her voice shrank as she said it. It didn't smell at all. If anything, it was only sweet.

...Wait.

"Don't tell me you skipped washing so we'd bathe together?"

"..."

At my teasing question she clamped her mouth shut and went ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠red.

Yeah. That was it.

"Want to wash together?"

I said it through a laugh.

Her reaction was even better than I had expected.

"W-w-wha... what...?!"

Watching her blush and fall into open panic, I almost couldn't believe it. She was the one who had set it up.

"I'm kidding. Pfft. As if we'd already be talking about bathing together."

"..."

Her brow drew tight, as if to say she had been tricked, and her eyes looked strangely disappointed.

Cute.

"Instead, let's sleep early tonight and go out tomorrow. Anything you want to do?"

"...A-anything, so long as it's with you.... Ugh."

She grew embarrassed halfway through and hid her burning face in both hands.

A peck.

I kissed those lips once. I couldn't help it. Or rather, I no longer had to hold back.

I smiled at Seol-ah—red-faced, thoroughly short-circuited—and went on.

"Then... want to visit the capital?"

This place we were in: the Soil Kingdom.

And its capital, Songwon. The land where the Iljo Kingdom was first founded.

"I'd love that! Hehe... that'll be fun."

"Though we might have to fight a little."

"...What?"

In an instant her blue eyes went cold and pierced straight through me.

"No, I mean... I reached the Peak Realm, actually."

"What? When?"

"Just now... ahem. When I kissed you."

I dragged a hand down my face as I said it. Who attains enlightenment from a kiss....

"Hehe... you like me that much?"

"Yeah."

"..."

She had meant to tease me, and ended up the more embarrassed of the two.

"That's one thing.... I'll let reaching the Peak Realm in a single year slide, since it's you. But why fight, of all things? You want to test your strength? Is a dragon thrashing around in your right hand?"

Ears still red, she wore a chilly expression and pressed me.

"No, not that. I want to make contact with the cultivators. A fight might break out along the way. I'm not saying I want to fight."

"The cultivators? Why?"

"Immortal cultivation. I want to give it a try. They say it lengthens your lifespan, right? I want to live a long time with you."

"Ugh, you can't just say ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠things like that so casually...!"

"Coming from someone who was just talking about bathing together, I'm not sure that's yours to say.... Anyway. I'm going to fix your severed meridians, too. I looked into a spirit medicine called the True Sun Fruit, and I think it has something to do with the cultivators."

The moment I said that much, Seol-ah's eyes went wide.

"Then... the severed meridians can be cured...?"

"Yeah. Probably. If that medicine doesn't work, I'll find another way."

The moment swords came up, her eyes would sparkle—and yet she couldn't even use internal energy, and her body itself was too frail to properly pursue the way of the sword. I couldn't begin to count how much that had hurt.

I never used to hurt over things like that.

Which meant that even then, Seol-ah had already taken up a corner of my heart. Looking back like this, the me who had done nothing but turn away from his own feelings seemed almost impressive.

At my words she gave a bitter smile, and then—

"...Thank you. But... I feel bad. Like all I ever do is receive."

I let out a short laugh as I looked at her.

"If we're keeping score, I've received far more."

What had I given her? Sword lessons? A few meals bought? Nothing but trifles. What she had given me, on the other hand—

"You gave me a life."

I said it as I brushed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her hair back.

"Not a life bound to this world because I couldn't die, rotting as I went. A life lived while wanting to live."

A little embarrassing to say aloud, but I meant it.

If I had never met Seol-ah, what would have become of me?

Hard to say. I would have suffered alone until I became a wreck, or turned that suffering outward and become a monster.

"Pfft. What's that supposed to mean?"

She laughed and looped both arms around my neck.

"So you're really not leaving? For the rest of our lives?"

"A lifetime? I'll have to follow you around even after we're dead."

"Hehe. Then when I die, I'll become a ghost and follow you too."

"I'd rather you didn't die at all. I've died quite a lot, and it doesn't feel particularly pleasant."

We traded words like that and chuckled.

"I told you my goal was to get rid of the power to reincarnate, didn't I?"

"Yes. You said you wanted eternal rest."

Right. I had. Back when I was living because I could not die, I had certainly said so.

"But it's changed a little now. When I reincarnate, I want to go with you—or change the ability so that I reincarnate into this world entirely."

"And you were the one who said living forever would be hard."

"You're here now. It's different."

Seol-ah flushed, shy.

"...Oh, right. I went out and came back without washing."

"Hnn.... I don't want to let go."

She pouted and hugged me tighter, and my head cleared at once.

Right. What was I even doing? If she didn't want to let go, then I ought to come up with a martial art that erased dust on the spot.

"Give me a second."

I said that and closed my eyes.

One second. Two. Three.

That brief span passed, and I opened my eyes.

"H-huh? What? How did you do that?"

"I burned all the dust with Gang Qi. Closer to deleting it than burning it, really."

Gang Qi. A technique as emblematic of the Peak Realm as any—simply put, compressed sword qi.

I probably shouldn't be putting it that simply.

Unlike ordinary sword qi, which merely sheathes a blade in internal energy to hone its edge, Sword Astral goes beyond the compression of sword qi. A will of its own comes to dwell within it. More precisely, that will must dwell there, or it cannot become Sword Astral.

And so—

"You place the very concept of burning into the sword qi. Then it isn't mere combustion. It touches the essence of erasure...."

"Wait. A martial artist's Gang Qi is supposed to hold only a single intent.... Ah."

Seol-ah broke off mid-sentence and let out a gasp.

"Now that I think about it, if it's you, it might be possible after all."

"Well, they say the Peak Realm requires one realization that runs through an entire life. That was true for me, too. But this is my twentieth life, so maybe that's why I can."

"Oh, that tracks. I was only going to say your talent would be enough, but that sounds more convincing."

Talented. A genius. Words I had heard until my ears callused over in my first life, and praise of that sort no longer moved me. And yet, when Seol-ah was the one saying it, it felt good.

I stroked her hair. Soft, too. How was a person like this?

"Haaahm.... I'm getting sleepy...."

"Yeah? Should I put out the light?"

"Mmm.... But then I won't be able to see your face, and I don't like that...."

"We should sleep early. What are you going to do, staying up just to look at my face?"

"True. I'll get to look my fill from now on."

"That's right."

I stroked the cheek of the grinning Seol-ah and smiled along with her.

Then I cut the candle flame with Sword Astral and snuffed it out.

"Sleep well."

With my left hand I drew her head toward me, and with my right I pulled the blanket up over the both of us.

"Yes. You sleep well too, Oppa."

With those words, spoken as she burrowed into my arms, her voice came no more. I still don't understand how she falls asleep so fast.

I drew her closer, wearing only a silent smile.

I was happy. Happier than ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I had ever been. Happy enough to go mad with it. To think that holding a single person could make me this happy. I could hardly believe it.

Was it all right to be this happy? For all I knew, my brain might be breaking.

Well. A person doesn't need to be right in the head.

Because the one I loved beyond measure was held in my arms. That alone was enough. Whatever became of me did not matter.

For the first time in my life, I fell asleep smiling.