Chapter 5
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Helping Out Because They're Really Pitiful
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The strategy I presented to the Officer Department guys? Honestly, nothing special.
Steal the Knight Department bastards' swords before training and hide them away.
"...That's the strategy?"
I'd expected that kind of reaction. Yeah, their pride must be hurt.
They were the honorable sons of Imperial nobles, after all. And the grand strategy boiled down to stealing?
I was fully prepared to accept their complaints and counter them—
"Don't you have something stronger? That's not enough!"
"Yeah! If it was poisoning their food or something sneaky, maybe!"
"A stronger strategy! A scarier one! Rawr!"
"..."
Are you guys even future nobles?! Where the hell did you sell your honor and pride?!
And you lunatics! The enemy are nobles just like you!
"Um, Richi."
Michel, one of the more normal ones in the Officer Department, raised his hand.
"You're saying we steal their swords, right?"
"From now on, refer to it by operation name."
"Oh, got it. That Romantic Thief Cat Operation. Will that really work?"
A few students nodded at Michel's question.
Hm. Yeah. That's the level of doubt that's normal.
It was right in the range I'd predicted.
Way better than suggestions about messing with their food.
"I told you, didn't I, Michel? Improving you guys further isn't possible in the time we have."
"You did."
"So the only option left is to make sure the opponent can't perform. That's how."
"But what's that got to do with stealing swords? You think they can't duel without them? 'Hehehe, no swords means no fight!' It's not totally ridiculous. They can just borrow some."
Do these idiots think I'm that much of a moron?
Oh dear. Guess I have to reveal the true strategy to you faithless fools.
"Hey, friends? Listen up. In this duel, three things matter: swordsmanship, stamina, and psychology. And what I'm targeting is their psychology. How? By scratching at it nice and slow. No calm judgment, no precise movements—none of that."
Having your sword stolen is an ultimate blow to the pride of anyone who wields one.
Then they go into training and duel in that state. Think they'll keep their cool?
No matter if they borrow a sword and hold it in their hands, it'll feel off if they're focused.
"Hey, Richi? There's no guarantee that'll make them lose their composure positively, right? They might just get angrier, burn with revenge, and get even stronger."
"That's possible. That's why we need one more thing: drive a wedge between the Knight Department themselves."
"Drive a wedge?"
"We're not stealing all the swords. Just half. The guys whose swords are fine will comfort the ones who lost theirs, but some will think, 'Sigh, what idiots. Can't even manage their own swords!'"
Just create one enemy within. They'll chant 'Down with the Officer Department!' on the outside, but it'll split them inside.
Between the ones who lost swords due to poor management and the ones who think they managed well and are fine.
Will they really? Oh, they will. Humans are like that.
That's why the legendary saying 'As long as it's not me!' exists!
"...Richi. Any other strategies besides that?"
"Two days. No, one day left, and asking for alternatives is the most shameless thing ever."
Did you grind up today's soup and your conscience together, humans?
I helped out of pity, and instead of thanks, you complain.
"Will that really work? I'm not convinced."
Lester tilted his head, looking uncertain.
I flashed a bright smile and answered.
"If you're asking about effectiveness? No idea."
"What?!"
"Strategies don't always work perfectly, so of course I don't know. Predict, prepare, then do your best in the moment and leave the rest to luck."
Sounds like nonsense, but Grandpa and Dad always said the same.
In the end, worldly affairs depend on heaven's will.
Of course, after doing everything a person can.
"Hmm..."
The Officer Department classmates all entered deep thought and conflict mode.
They'd imagined some grand strategies, only to be disappointed by sword-stealing.
But what can you do? Time's too tight. And no prep needed.
So target what's ripe for the picking: make sure the Knight Department's skills don't shine.
Anger can sometimes boost performance.
But in precise, tactical fights, it usually hinders.
Who chants composure! Composure!! instead of battle cries while swinging swords?
Excitement leads to reckless moves, which tire the body faster!
"...Guess this is our only option, huh?"
"No choice. Hope it works like Richi says."
"Who knows? They might get so pissed they just brute-force and flop!"
Started as whispers, voices grew louder, turning into cheers.
They were raring to charge into battle with a rawr!
Looks good. If they'd gone 'Nah, this ain't right?', I'd have defected to the Knight Department.
"Consensus reached?"
"Yeah. We're doing it. Anything special we need to watch for?"
"Obviously. When stealing swords, don't just target easy classmates. It'll look suspicious. Grab whatever's in storage randomly. Baron sons, Clozen folks—doesn't matter!"
"Clozen's intimidating... Kainel Duke Family even more so..."
Ah, shut up! If you're scared, don't do it!
"Gentlemen. This operation launches on joint training day at 00:00 hours."
"Ooooh!!"
"Down with Knight Department! Officer Department rules!!"
Stop, you maniacs. Someone overhears and thinks it's island nation army vs. navy!
"...So? How'd it go?"
"Why ask? You already know."
I patted Enter's shoulder with the winner's grin.
"Hear that? The Knight Department getting crushed?"
Kieeeek!—
"...Yeah, screams."
Even in the academy with top noble sons and ladies.
That's that, and pride is pride. Lose, and you roll. No choice.
From baron's sons to duke's daughters—all fairly hell-bound!
Today's joint Knight Department and Officer Department training, plus 1:1 sword duels.
The winner of that guillotine match? The Officer Department, backed by my strategy.
It was close—one point. But win's a win, overwhelming or scraping by!
"They kept chanting Reinhardt, Reinhardt, so we pushed hard."
"I'm more shocked it worked..."
Enter poked at his lunch salad, baffled.
I get it. Stealing swords leading to victory seems weird.
But look closer, and it's not so far-fetched.
I've said it before: mental state is crucial.
It affects even solving a problem, let alone life-or-death duels with real steel?
Swords are the Knight Department's pride. And they see Officer Department as beneath them.
I targeted that. Baited them into over-aggression.
Swords gone = rage. Mocked by inferiors = lesson time.
That makes them hasty nine times out of ten. And that gap's enough to win.
I set the trigger, and Officer Department seized victory.
"You okay? Saw Knight Department kids sharpening their knives earlier."
I heard. Next training, steal swords and clothes?
They might start voluntary night watches now.
Of course, totally none of my busi.ness.
"Who cares? Let Officer Department handle their rage. I said it again: I'm Administrative Department. Pitied my friends, tossed out 'How about this?' Executed? Not me. No worries."
"This guy's a war hero...?"
Never been one, never wanna be.
"Ugh, lunch is too sweet today."
"Be honest. You secretly hate Knight Department too, right?"
Nah. Why would I hate them? They're patriots.
I don't hate Knight Department at all. Nope.
Absolutely not because the guys blabbing about my stress-induced hair loss were from there!
The hellish day ended. Knight Department members dragged their weary bodies up.
They'd assumed total dominance in joint training.
But the lid opened to defeat by Officer Department in 1:1 sword duels.
Close, but loss is loss. Mood? Rock bottom, naturally.
"You pathetic fools!!"
Senior roars poured down. Boys, girls, high rank, low—no exceptions.
Here, nothing matters. Built under imperial name, all are students.
After a full day of seniors tearing into them.
The Knight Department escaped the ordeal and exploded in rage.
"How could they think of stealing swords? Insane?!"
"Officer Department, those honorless scum...!"
Don't you have honor?! Future Imperial officers acting like this?!
Reply? 'Dumber than losing honor on the battlefield.'
Senior Knight Department confronted senior Officer Department.
Demand: catch the culprits. They said sure—then silence.
Their freshmen pranked Knight Department; must feel smug.
Luckily, joint trainings ahead overflow.
Payback day coming. Mess with Officer Department then.
With that thought, Knight Department headed to rooms.
"..."
All but one.
'Something's off.'
Yeah. Officer Department isn't this aggressive.
Especially not scheming something this underhanded.
I know them well. Confident on that.
This incident? Not from within Officer Department.
Someone outside helped. No—that person scripted it all.
Officer Department just followed the script!
'Fun. Whose work? Curious. Wanna meet 'em.'
Ariete Clozen brushed dust from her hair and smiled.