What Are You Guys?
What are you guys? That old Korean tradition of allerikollerie—it kicks in whenever a guy and girl who look good together show up side by side. Just walking to school together gets you teased about dating. My counter to that kind of ribbing? Straight-up confrontation.
If you respond ambiguously, it leaves room for more teasing, but if you just own it outright, they run out of ammo.
So I fired back at their joke head-on. "Yeah, sure. Sujin's cute and pretty, after all."
The unexpected variable? "Eek?!" Sujin let out a cat-like yelp and jumped in surprise.
Setting that aside, the atmosphere seemed to settle down nicely.
"Whoa, Donghu, you're a real man! A true gent! Right?!"
"Wow, this is huge. Hey, Seoksam, you can't tease him about this anymore?"
"Seoksam hyung, stay out of it."
"...."
These variety show vets had some serious banter chemistry.
"Even so, in a place like this? Can this even air?"
"Isn't this a public confession?"
"No way, I just said she's cute and pretty—why's that a confession? Come on, you guys are awful!"
They were subtly probing my intentions, so I nodded cheerfully. "Exactly, I just said it 'cause she's pretty and cute."
"This guy... face like that, and his words are just... You're gonna rack up some serious karma."
"Seoksam hyung."
"Yeah?"
"Stay out."
"...."
Normally, this would've wrapped up the vibe and moved to the opening, but Sujin's perfect flustered reaction reignited the spark in one corner.
"But y'know, Sujin looks really shocked. We can't skip her thoughts on this, right?"
"Uh, w-well, um, that..."
Maybe I'd gone too direct. Sujin's face was still beet red, totally wrecked.
Tough spot for getting a reaction. Right on cue, the members jumped in.
"Hyung, what're you expecting, like a puberty-struck girl's reaction? Just let it slide."
"Gukjong, then can I ask about your love life...?"
"Hyung, my fist's clenched."
"...Ever tell you I'm glad I was born first?"
A quick round of hahas shifted the mood.
Then, before the real opening, MC Yoo Jiseok chimed in. "Alright, before we dive into Rush Man today! Let's hear some resolve first. Donghu, you start!"
This is real variety. Feeling that, I said exactly what I wanted.
"I've always been dying to rip name tags—huge fan from way back. So I wanna snag a bunch!"
"Ah, name tags! Speaking of, our Donghu here's a youth boxing champ."
How can I sneak in a quick punch demo?
Prime self-promo time. Like I'd waited for this, I dashed to center and started shadowboxing. No need for long—just 10 seconds of crisp air punches. "Oohs" rippled around, my cue to stop and bow.
"...Can I call him hyung?"
"Kang Su, even so, what's with calling Donghu 'hyung'?"
"No, but he's... terrifying?"
"Handsome face, fights like a beast—this guy's straight outta a comic. Hey, maybe let me try once..."
"Seoksam hyung."
"...Out?"
"You know it."
"...."
Similar questions for Sujin next. She wrapped with her intense running practice for today, kicking off the real Rush Man opening.
"Hello, dear viewers! As introduced, today on Rush Man! With rising supernova actors! Let's go wild! Go go go!"
"Before we start, penalty time first."
"...We just did the opening, and straight to penalty?"
"Yep. Losing team does a light bungee jump."
"Bungee... that's kinda intense..."
"Guests included."
Sighs at PD Ji Yujin's words. Sujin sidled up. "You done bungee?"
"Nah, never."
"Me neither... big trouble..."
Scared of this, huh. Yeah, Sujin's cute.
Team split time. As I pondered, PD Ji spoke. "Last penalty victim Kim Gukjong picks first."
"Wait, that's obvious—he'll grab the best first. Unfair!"
"I'll take Donghu then. He seems killer."
"Balance? This is lopsided! Seok hyung, fix this!"
"No dice. Kang Su, we're Romeo and Juliet strat. I pick Sujin!"
Instant chaos. Sujin and I just stood by as teams formed.
Result: 3 vs. 6. Our 3: me, senior Kim Gukjong, senior Kang Giri. Their 6: everyone else.
"Why does 3 vs. double feel so disadvantaged?"
Everyone chuckled awkwardly at the pint-sized vet's quip.
"Now, mission briefing."
PD Ji continued. "Since we're at SKS Broadcasting Station, full-building tag with hide-and-seek."
"That's why the split? 3 as chasers?"
"Yes. Chasers get penalties, though."
"PD, three of us and penalties? Joke?"
"Gukjong, ease up on the PD..."
"Penalties are..."
I listened, piecing the shoot together.
Early morning for empty building—no staff interference.
Chasers wear bells but can rip tags. Evaders hunt hidden video tapes.
Treasure hunt meets tag.
Chasers know floors with tapes, evaders get detailed spots.
Couldn't just camp—5 tapes over 22 floors. Numbers could overwhelm. Evaders could fight back, just no ripping.
"Chasers start 22F, survivors 1F. 20 min strategy, then go."
"Got it!"
Rules wrapped, Sujin and I split.
One thought: Grab Sujin? Nah, let her go. Gotta feed her screen time.
+++++
After Donghu and Sujin split, the six survivors—no, mission team—prepped strategy.
"You mentioned special training, Sujin."
"Yes?"
"With Donghu too?"
MC Yoo Jiseok's lovey-dovey tease began. With straight-shooter Donghu gone, perfect setup to rib Sujin.
"Uh... yeah... Donghu runs crazy fast, but he said I'm good—grade 3 level."
"How fast?"
"3km in 15."
Guys nodded, but sole woman actress Cheon Suyeon questioned. "...Why grade 3? Women's special grade, no?"
"Huh?"
"Donghu rated guy standards..."
That's track-team fast for a girl.
Sujin gawked too. "Really?!"
"Insanely fast—undeniable."
"Donghu's too quick... didn't know I was fast."
"Donghu's time?"
"When we ran... 3km 10 min."
"What?! 10-min 3K?!"
All five non-Sujin jaws dropped. Even non-runners know that's elite.
"Disaster. Can't outrun Donghu or Gukjong."
"10-min? Cheetah. Cheetah. Crisis. Kang Su, your legs no good?"
"Hyung! Legs irrelevant there! Insane. Donghu a track guy? Actor!"
"Doesn't compute!"
Boxing champ and sprinter? Handsome, acts great—stay in your lane!
As pint-sized Haha-hyung vented agreement...
"Oh, and... Donghu rang Golden Bell too, hehe."
Sujin's random brag popped out. Everyone thought: Boyfriend flex?
What are you guys?