Life is Easy if You're Handsome – But I Wasn't
Life is easy if you're handsome. I wasn't. How ugly was I? At five years old, in daycare, someone said, "Hey, sorry, but can you not come closer?"
"Waaah! Teacher, I don't want to be paired with Donghu!" At six, in kindergarten, a girl cried because she didn't want to sit next to me.
"You fucking bastard, stay away or I'll kill you." In first grade, just for getting close, I got death threats.
In middle school, a girl cried just because our eyes met. In high school, I was naturally excluded from groups. College? Don't even ask.
I get it. Even to my own eyes, my looks were utterly hideous. They say even a hedgehog thinks its babies are cute, but not for me. My self-esteem hit rock bottom, and I grew more and more withdrawn.
But I didn't just sit there. I exercised for so-called "self-management," picked up various hobbies. But what good did it do?
In the end, first impressions came down to your face. No one could look past features that inspired disgust. Still, I didn't give up. Until I finally realized: My looks are hopeless.
Self-deprecating ugly jokes? Even that only works if you're cutely ugly. But mine made people uncomfortable on sight. How do you make someone laugh when they grimace the moment they see you? Have you ever had someone furrow their brow right away? I have.
Every moment started with points deducted for my appearance. The results were always unimaginably disastrous.
Where the hell did it all go wrong? A sigh escaped me. What was the problem? Thinking that, I turned on the internet again today—the one place where looks didn't matter. The safe world where I could express myself purely through the keyboard.
Tap tap tap, whirr. As soon as I launched the game, the loading screen blackened the display for a moment. In that gap, my reflection stared back. "Love yourself"? The words didn't even cross my mind. I'd considered plastic surgery, but the quotes were insane. How do you save up billions in your twenties? And reshaping my entire face? That's too scary.
At times like this, better just to game.
Maybe make a new character. The game I played was set in the modern world with full character customization. Here, at least, I could become the ideal "me" I dreamed of. In that sense, The Sims - Real Life was the best.
You could set everything from the protagonist's looks to their background. If you counted just the playtime, it was over 50,000 hours. The Sims - Real Life was basically my life.
What life should I live today? On screen, a newborn baby appeared. Below it, four natural choices popped up.
[1. Ultra-luxurious chaebol heir life]
[2. Comfortably silver-spooned life]
[3. Nothing special, but no debts either]
[4. Dirt-poor days with only poison left]
Normally, I'd pick 1. Like playing with cheat mode on. But today, I wanted something different. 3. The most similar to my current family situation.
As soon as I chose it, the customization screen appeared. After background, looks came next. That determined the range of talents available.
"Max everything, of course." Tall, long limbs, perfect proportions and muscle definition. Flawless features, no easy fat gain, no hair loss. A face everyone East or West would love. My endless customization practice made the character look god-sculpted. And on top:
Charm set to maximum.
Physical abilities set to maximum.
Trait 'A Thousand Faces' acquired. Viewers perceive your looks as their ideal type.
Trait 'A Thousand Talents' acquired. Everything comes easily and quickly to you.
Trait 'Smooth Sailing' acquired. Life unfolds effortlessly.
Sucking up all the cheatiest traits like a vet! Normally, I wouldn't—great background plus perks was too OP. But today, I felt extra immersed. Like I wished this character was my life.
Customization and traits done, next screen.
The child born to an ordinary family was anything but ordinary.
Prodigy praises were standard; always astonishing everyone with talents.
Yet such talents couldn't bloom in an ordinary home.
But your talents are ready to burst forth anytime.
When will you let them bloom?
[0. Infancy]
[1. Childhood]
[2. Boyhood]
[3. Youth]
[4. Middle Age]
[5. Old Age]
This was where the real game began. Choices split the start point; later picks skipped earlier eras with similar menus. Usually, I'd pick youth to skip tedium. But:
Today, I wanna start from the beginning.
[0. Infancy selected.]
A strong urge to play this character from the absolute start hit me.
[Name your character.]
Name: Kim Donghu. My name. Something I'd never tried. It'd feel too much like my own life otherwise.
I want to live like this, just once.
[Proceed like this?]
No hesitation. I hit start.
Shyly, hesitantly. Five years old, nearing kindergarten graduation. The kindergarten sweltered from heaters fighting a late cold snap.
"Hey, sorry, but can you scoot a little closer?"
"Why? We're close enough already."
"N-no, I mean... being stuck together feels warm and nice."
"Yeah? I hate the heat."
"...Okay. Just don't pull away more."
"Yeah, sure."
A girl failed to snuggle against the boy and pouted sadly. Her face had a oddly sassy edge for her age, pride flickering through.
"I'm a child actress, you know. Can't you be nicer to me?"
"Why should I?"
"Argh... you... waaah!"
She tried once more in frustration, only to get shot down brutally. Tears burst forth.
"Ugh, Donghu, stop making the girl cry."
The teacher, now exasperated, hugged and soothed the girl.
"Making girls cry already—what'll you do when you grow up?"
"She's asking the impossible."
"True, but Sujin isn't usually like this... jeez."
The teacher eyed the boy called Donghu with a complicated look.
How is he so handsome? In her long career, she'd never seen such a stunner. Hell, he outshone active child stars. No wonder the haughty Kim Sujin was flustered. And that wasn't all.
"Hey, stop crying. It's annoying."
"H-huh?"
"I'll hold your hand, so quit sniffling."
"...Sniff, *sniff*, um... yeah... Teacher, put me down. I wanna hold hands with Donghu."
"R-really?"
That alpha-male vibe unbelievable for five. Whip and carrot mixed masterfully. Sujin stopped crying instantly, beaming at the hand-hold promise.
If he were averagely handsome, it'd be whatever. But life experience screamed red alerts.
What'll this kid become? With those looks, silver tongue, and all-around talent. Maybe Rainbow Kindergarten was birthing something monstrous.
The thought struck her.
My life reset.
Is this for real? Not just any reset, but based on The Sims - Real Life. Everything the same except one thing.
My face. The character I'd max-customized and trait-stuffed was now me. Not just the face—looks and aura flipped 180 degrees. People's attitudes shifted too.
The kindergarten teacher who'd never taken my side? Still not fully, but worlds apart now.
How did this happen? Why? If life rewinds, what's first? Buy land? Bitcoin? Stocks? Ideas swirled, but five-year-old options were limited. Best I could do:
-Dad, I think Korea's going to the semis in the upcoming World Cup.
Recommend World Cup miracle Toto to Dad at home. Not once—hammer it relentlessly. Pre-tournament brainwashing ups the odds he'll listen.
Grab some seed money with this. I lacked the genius to rake billions like other protags. They prepped; I just got yeeted back.
But I can change my life. From daycare to my game days, I'd tried endlessly. The one missing piece: looks. Filled in, how high could I soar?
Excited for those days. First button:
"...Can you hold my hand again later?"
"Why should I?"
Thickening ties with child actress Kim Sujin.