Homecoming and Heartache
A faint light enveloped the Holy Sword. A sacred relic that had waited a millennium for its master was destined to fade into a tarnished blade. Yet the one who had loved it kept its glow alive. The sword, which had been losing its luster, now shimmered softly once more. Darkened bloodstains clung to its cold edge, hardened into place. Every time he saw them, his chest tightened with a sharp ache...
"...Damn it."
He couldn't hold back without cursing. His gaze fixed on the firmly sealed entrance to the Holy Site. What lay beyond? The vast snowy plain concealed the ruins. His mind still lingered on the Rose Garden, filled with moss-covered stone structures. The leaves of the Blue Roses had guarded Lea's side. Even after a thousand years, she had longed for those roses. She had cherished memories of the knight who shone like a radiant rose. The Rose Family still protected the saintess.
"Let's go."
"...Yes."
Arahan said nothing more. She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to stay by his side and heal his wounded heart. But she couldn't. It might ignite the emotions he was forcibly suppressing. All she could do here was quietly remain at his side. He had wept and stood vigil for hours, even falling asleep, yet faint dark circles lingered under his eyes. Her hand rose unconsciously at the sight.
Ah...
She wanted to cover those shadows even now. All she could do was watch his back as he mounted the ice-white horse and headed for the castle. She would have to postpone their promise to continue upon returning. It pained her, but she knew restoring his strength was more important. Before being a woman who adored him, she was the King's Exclusive Maid sworn to protect Winterer. Duty came before personal feelings. She had once offered her body in service to him. But that was before he became king. Now, she had to maintain decorum.
"Young master. If there's anything you desire from me, please say the word."
"...Yeah."
"Shall I clean the sword for you?"
"No. Leave it like this. This is my sin for abandoning Lea. I can't forget it."
"...Understood. Then I'll prepare your bath right away."
"Thanks."
Rowen's face, as he spoke, was filled with a mix of sorrow and resolve. Grief mingled with a newfound determination, revealing his unyielding will. How much time passed? As the bitter cold wind from the northern edge began to feel calmer, a massive Ice Castle came into view in the distance.
As they neared the castle gates, knights raised enormous flags in salute. Rowen lightly raised his hand in response. Rumble... The massive gates swung open. Maids bustled about nearby. He glanced at Arahan, but she feigned ignorance. Dismounting the ice steed, Rowen asked a knight,
"What happened?"
"Yes! Madam has just returned!"
"Madam?"
Rowen shifted his gaze, wondering what that meant. There stood a carriage adorned with the distinctive phoenix emblem of Kalia Rune. Neither overly ornate nor plain, it struck a balanced elegance. It didn't take long for him to grasp the soldier's words as he focused there. An elf gracefully descended, holding the hand of a familiar middle-aged man. A precious family member he could never forget even if he tried. His adoptive mother, whom he hadn't seen in two years, stood there. At the same moment, he realized the gravity of the situation. Her face was gaunt and pale.
Rowen's expression brightened slightly at the reunion with Miyabi. Then, a girl came dashing toward them with pattering footsteps from behind her. Two years had passed. Children in their growth spurt matured quickly.
"Karin!"
"Rowen oppa!"
The girl rushing toward him was no longer the Karin he knew. Her once-short hair had grown past her shoulders, styled in curly white side-up waves that caught the eye. No longer a mere child, she was now thirteen. She'd grown taller, of course. Still, just thirteen. No longer an oblivious toddler, but a child with thoughts of her own. Rowen couldn't hide his joy. The deep wound in his heart began to heal a little. Karin leaped into his arms. He caught her naturally and spun her around on the spot. Memories flooded back of playing with her like this when she was little.
"It's been a while."
"It's been a while, Mother."
As Karin giggled delightedly, Miyabi approached. It was better than his earlier darkened demeanor. She knew of Rowen's true origins within the family. She knew he wasn't a true son by blood and could never hate him. Instead, she had raised him with love, treating him as her own. To her, who had heard news of Kael and Cain, Rowen was now her only son. He gently patted her back. Seeing the pale Miyabi was heartbreaking. She seemed to be declining further, filling him with worry. Well, Rowen's own heart was a tangled mess too.
The North still snowed relentlessly. Better to head inside than waste time in this freezing cold.
"It's cold out here. Let's go in."
"Alright."
"We'll see you later. Karin, you too."
"Aw. Stay a bit longer."
"You can see me anytime now. So stay with Mother."
Karin pouted in dissatisfaction. Rowen could only scratch his cheek and smile. He gave a nod to the middle-aged butler, Biden. Just from eye contact, Biden understood his intent. Surely, it meant to assist at their side.
"As you command."
"Arahan will guide you through the castle."
"...Me, sir?"
"I'm counting on you. Honestly, I just want a little time alone. Sorry."
"No need to apologize, young master. Then, until later."
"Thanks."
Rowen watched Arahan lead the two away, then turned toward Snowfall.
The familiar Kadan Valenos Office after so long. And the Underground Library beneath it. As a child, he had studied magic here endlessly. Most magical knowledge already filled his mind from his past life, but a millennium was ample time to invent new spells.
Thud. He slumped against the bookshelf. No matter how much he cried, the lump in his heart wouldn't dissolve. Lea still smiled before his eyes. He could hear her whispering her love. The sensation of the Holy Sword that pierced her lingered in his right hand.
"...Hah."
It was dizzying and chaotic. Until leaving the castle, he'd been filled with anticipation of reclaiming the Holy Sword. Now that it was in his grasp, he loathed it. Her blood stained his vision. He touched the congealed blood of Lea. It left no trace on his skin. He shouldn't do this. He'd cried enough already. He should be rejoicing at reuniting with his family. Why does my heart feel on the verge of collapse?
Suppressed emotions surged again. He was so sorry, missed her so much, longed for her. He felt like going mad just to feel her warmth again. It was like a curse. A curse from her upon the him who failed to notice her feelings and forgot her. Pounding his chest did nothing to dispel the lump. Belzebub's face, who implanted demonic magic in her, flashed clearly. Hatred flared anew. He mustn't let vengeance consume him; it would mean abandoning himself, so he had to endure. Yet each time this uncontrollable emotion rose, the Holy Sword's light grew stronger.
"You resent them too, huh?"
The Holy Sword radiated light as hatred for demons stirred. It was the brilliant glow of old. The sword, grown by devouring 'Rian Rose's' emotions toward demons, now demanded sustenance from its reunited master. Laughter bubbled up uncontrollably. Thanks to her, he was reborn, yet his heart, actions, and circumstances remained unchanged from a millennium ago. It was so damn hard. His father was dead. Despite a new life, his father was dead. His loved one was gone. Despite a new life, his loved one was gone. It was all Belzebub, Belphegor! Those bastards were all Demon Kings...!
Right there, Rowen reaffirmed his goal. He steeled his wavering resolve.
Protect the North. Kael's whisper echoed.
I love you. Lea's whisper echoed.
The gentle murmurs from the two spurred his vengeance. He gripped the Holy Sword. All he needed was to accept its power. He might gain strength equal to—or beyond—his prime. Full-scale war with Arkanthia was inevitable. The North had ample food; the people wouldn't starve. The enemy had Flying Ships. Repulsive Magitech. Mio was absent from the human realm, headed to Pandemonium. Aerial combat capable forces... He had no idea. Flight magic was possible, but could his soldiers manage it? Magic arrows as guided missiles were feasible, but limited. Arrows couldn't shatter mana-clad iron armor. He had to destroy the power source, the Rune Fragments. On the ground, they would dominate. He was confident of that. But the skies were the problem.
"Damn it..."
He couldn't rush. But his emotions demanded revenge. It felt like charging alone at Belzebub. If he continued like this, everything could crumble.
[Get a grip.]
"Valenos..."
[What's the point of brooding alone when you've forged alliances? You're meeting Sirayunsul again today to plan countermeasures.]
"I don't know. My heart's pounding too fast. I know it's not normal, but I feel like a damn dog in heat."
[Planning to repeat past mistakes?]
"...Shut up."
[Lea wouldn't want that.]
Yeah, she probably wouldn't. But if he didn't vent these emotions somewhere, he'd make the same choice again.
"...What should I do then?"
[Rest first. Think slowly. You have time.]
"Everyone tells me to rest. Nothing gets done if I rest. What the hell do they want from me...?"
[You're not alone. Rest doesn't mean physical downtime. You need mental respite.]
Valenos was right. Rowen was mentally exhausted now, even if it didn't show outwardly. Those around him had met unwanted fates—all his precious ones. His heart couldn't remain unbroken. He hadn't shown it in front of Arahan, but she surely knew. Only Rowen was oblivious. To those close to him, he seemed to be pushing too hard. That's why Valenos could say this. As an adult, he had to stop the child from rash choices. At least now, as his distant ancestor and contractor.
"...How do I do that?"
[Return to your family's embrace. Far better than moping alone in here like a wreck.]
"This is my house first off..."
[Places rich with old memories make emotions run wild. Listen to me. You're my descendant before you were Rian Rose. Right now, I'm speaking as your guardian.]
At those words, something stirred deep in Rowen's heart. How long had it been since he heard "guardian"?
"...."
He never imagined a single word could bring such warmth. Because he hadn't expected it, it hit even harder. Rowen felt warmth now. Realizing that, he couldn't help but chuckle wryly. His face relaxed a bit. Valenos nodded in his mind, despite having no form.
Rowen smirked and retorted.
"In the end, you're telling me to go back to the castle. Why beat around the bush?"
[Worry about you and it's bullshit, give advice and it's bullshit. What the hell do you want from me?!]
The dark circles hadn't vanished. The sorrow lodged in his heart hadn't either. But it felt a little lighter. It made him reflect on his hasty, complicated choices. For the first time since reincarnating, Rowen had received sincere adult advice.
[What's with that look?!]
"Nah. Just... thanks."
[Fine. Could've just said thanks sooner... Tch, whatever.]
"Praise me and it's bullshit."
[You...!]
"Quiet, Valenos. Shut it."
A brief revenge. He ignored Valenos grumbling in his head. In one ear and out the other. Still, his mood had improved.