Longing
"See? My hunch was right after all."
Miyabi couldn't hide her gaping mouth. She wasn't just surprised—she didn't even have time to be. Just yesterday, the unique barrier had been firmly sealed by some mysterious force. But this morning, she could see it clearly. The purple mana was no longer hazy. The deep-colored energy guarded the special space, and now they could use it.
"Can we really just walk right in like this?" Arahan asked.
Rowen hadn't told them he'd undone the barrier. There was no need to, and even if he spilled everything, who would believe it? I just woke up and it was open. That's all he could say. It was a blatant lie, but it was also the reality.
"Doesn't matter."
"If this really is the dwelling of past heroes, as the young master said..."
"What are you so worried about? The Arkanthia bastards will find us soon enough. We need a hiding spot, that's a fact."
"...Did you know about this place, young master?"
"Nah, first time seeing it."
"...If you say so, young master, then I believe you. But it feels strangely off somehow."
"That's what they call paranoia."
She still couldn't shake her unease—Arahan furrowed her brow. Rowen turned away and let out a sigh of relief. Unsealing the barrier didn't mean just anyone could enter. Only those with the gods' blessing could open it. Rowen retained that blessing from his past life. So his blood kin could use the barrier if he was nearby. But Arahan couldn't. That's why he'd tweaked the ritual the night before, absorbing a massive amount of mana. Even Rowen had felt dizzy from Abel's lingering shadow. He was still so far from that realm. Miyabi might notice, being so attuned to mana, but that was a problem for later. Right now, dodging the Arkanthia scum came first.
They descended the shadow stairs. It wasn't dark. The space was lit bright by unquenchable flames.
"Whoa!"
"Miss, don't run. It's dangerous."
"Look! The fire doesn't go out!"
"It's a unique barrier. Everything here is an illusion made real, blessed by infinite mana..."
"Arahan, that's enough."
Rowen held out a hand to stop her. Karin already looked half-asleep. Did she not understand? She was still too young. Boring topics were boring, plain and simple.
"Boooring."
"But miss, you'll have to learn it someday."
"I can study it later!"
"No harm in knowing ahead of time."
"No way. Hate it. Boring."
Rowen slowly took in the surroundings. He'd explored plenty at dawn and even shed tears. So why did his chest still tighten? He didn't know. Didn't want to know. Maybe it was just the warmth of his old comrades lingering.
He swallowed his surging emotions and eyed the photos on the wall.
"Pictures of the past heroes."
"Yeah."
"They're way different from the drawings in fairy tales."
"Have you seen their photos before, Mother?"
"A little, when I was young. I saw the great mage Mio's photo in Alfheim once."
Rowen thought of Mio. The drunken crybaby glutton. The mage with the purest heart who'd trusted and followed him.
When the hell did you go to Alfheim?
He stared at her photo and wondered silently. He couldn't say it aloud. Memories of her flooded in like a panorama, and he clung to them desperately. No more tears. She'd come back to life anyway—they'd meet again someday. Believing that, he decided to stop crying.
"What's wrong?"
"...Nothing."
"You're acting strange today."
"Father came to mind."
"..."
"Remember? He used to read me stories about the five heroes all the time."
"Because someone he admired was in that book."
Someone he admired? News to Rowen. He hadn't known Kadan revered one of his comrades. In this era, their tale was just a fairy tale laced with history. Their sacrifices, the demons—it was all kid stuff.
Rowen reached toward the photos on the wall. No warmth came from them. Just cold paper, he knew. But he wanted to feel it. Their warmth.
"Someone Father admired?"
"Yes. Heh, thinking about it, you look a lot like him."
"Pardon?"
"Kadan had a favorite in that story. He said that man inspired him to pick up the sword."
"Who was it?"
Miyabi traced her finger along the wall. A massive frame. All of them smiling brightly. Rian was there too. He remembered. How could he forget? Before the Four Heavenly Kings, when they were all happy. That moment captured forever.
Rowen followed her finger.
"Father knew his stuff."
It pointed to Rian's face. Rowen felt good. Maybe a fairy tale idiot blinded by revenge, charging the Demon King. But not to Kadan. And to be admired by him? Best feeling ever. A twinge of pride swelled.
"Sir Rian really is amazing."
"That's the part that's like you. Kadan was obsessed. Like he was seeing a hero."
"He was a hero. He saved the world."
"To me, just a reckless fool blinded by revenge."
"...Urk."
Miyabi chuckled. She smiled, calling his reaction cute. Seeing her relax eased Rowen's mind. Better than her stressing all day. She hadn't birthed him, but she'd embraced a child even she didn't know—her husband's stray. Blood or not, she was his mother. Not like Kael, Cain, or Karin with their elven blood and vivid mana. He figured he only inherited the Valenos mana. His was lesser in quality. But quantity? His was superior. Plus past-life knowledge. Whatever. She was his mother first. Everyone grieved Kadan, but hers ran deepest. No denying it. That's why it hurt more. Now she smiled—a smile from when Kadan was in Snowfall. That's the Miyabi he knew. Rowen relaxed.
Rowen didn't know much. A thousand-year gap erases history. The magitech era. The 10-Year War ended by the heroes' power. Then the demons' assault. Rowen remembered that far. But not after. They ended the demon era, but grudges lingered. Revenge? He got limbs hacked, heart pierced, skull crushed. Pathetic death to outsiders. But Rowen didn't see it that way. Just a loser who died ugly.
Arahan cradled the sleeping Karin with warm eyes. Exhausted, poor girl. Suddenly homeless at her age, on the run. Everyone was the same, but her holding out without collapsing was admirable.
Where the hell was Cain wandering? Nowhere in sight. Rowen didn't care what that prick did. Just hoped he didn't run into Arkanthia soldiers chasing them—or wolf packs.
Rowen hated Cain. But he didn't want him dead. No brotherly love, sure, but not death. He'd make life easier without him, but it'd crush Miyabi more.
This warmth after so long. Not huddling by a fire against the cold, but a real space. Arahan and Rowen were used to roughing it, but not the family. Noble kids from birth. Kadan warred often, but the children were green. Miyabi, high elf nobility from Alfheim, had roughed it before—but not long-term wilderness camping.
Afternoon already, yet all slept off their fatigue. Arahan squeezed Karin's hand, then sat beside Rowen.
As always, Rowen gently rotated his core, training to prevent mana surges. Daily ritual. Overflowing mana wasn't all good. He got it now—Mio's endless complaints. Her red hair whipping in the wind. She'd gripe about it tangling but never tied it back. Every day, rotating her core, she'd whine.
'Hate this! So what if there's a ton? It overflows wildly, drawing monsters.'
'We're used to it.'
'I'm not! Mana meant to flow right leaks out. It regenerates, sure, but it's finite. Not infinite.'
'So you rotate the core?'
'Yeah. Use it up to attune your body. Annoying, but refreshing.'
Now it made sense. Circulate mana through the body via the core. Purge impurities for purer mana. It'd settle without rampaging. Like her. Someday, his would too.
Like prepping homes for wandering homeless. Open meridians, cycle mana through circuits to its proper place.
A bit more.
Faint mana enveloped him. Arahan watched, lost in focus, oblivious to her. So young, yet mature. He acted his age sometimes, and she liked that. She knew what held him back. Always watching. Knew his likes, dislikes. Only she did. The hidden Rowen. That's why it hurt to hold back. He bottled his grief. Tears didn't dissolve the lump inside. Worse since entering here. Something resonated.
Arahan glanced at the wall photos. Five heroes, all smiling. Two exchanging glances over one man. A dummy staring at his sword blankly between them. Stoic one, and a massive grinning oaf. They treasured each other. Smiles she'd never seen.
She'd seen this photo as a child.
'Great Knight Rian Rose'
'Great Mage Mio Lizfeldt'
'Great Assassin Abel Tarkhan'
'Great Saintess Lea'
And.
"Same old dumb face as ever."
'Great Warrior Uba Kaliarun'
"Master."
She gazed at her dead master. Couldn't meet again. Didn't even know if he was truly gone. But seeing him soothed her. Arahan stared endlessly at the five heroes. Ancient legends, but one was her master. Immortal body. Eternal youth. Overwhelming strength. He couldn't have died. She wanted to believe that.