Waa, Degeneration (1)
It didn't take long to grasp my situation.
'Reincarnated as my friend and student's daughter...'
Pat pat. As Han Seol-ae gently stroked my head with her soft hand, I reached that conclusion.
"Ugh..."
It was hard to put into words, but it was a complicated feeling. If I had to pin it down, melancholy?
Getting a second chance at life instead of just dying outright was great and all... but of all places, why reincarnate under people I know? And as a girl, no less.
At this rate, I'd be utterly at the mercy of my student and friend raising me.
Bathed naked, nursed, diapered, cheek-kissed, maybe even co-slept with.
Just imagining it was mortifying enough to die from shame.
Me, a genius professor once featured in weekly magazines... Me, the only one on Earth who solved the Riemann Hypothesis... Was it right for someone like that to be babied?
This cruel reality was infuriating. On top of that, being a baby made my head feel a bit fuzzy. It was like I'd forgotten something important... What was it...?
'Oh right! The Riemann Hypothesis!'
I recalled the night before I died from heart disease.
That night, I had definitively solved the Riemann Hypothesis, unsolved for 160 years.
The self-adjoint operator proving the hypothesis true. After finding it, I organized the ideas leading there and uploaded them to my personal cloud.
I couldn't remember the details due to the accident, but if I accessed the cloud and read through carefully, they'd surely come back.
'Gotta organize those ideas and write the paper first...'
Definition of Hilbert Space. Proof of the trace formula. Proof of self-adjointness. Proof of spectrum matching.
True to its million-dollar bounty, there was a truckload of things to verify. Organizing it all without logical leaps could take years.
Even tough in an adult body, now as a baby? This was a long haul.
"Honey! You okay?"
Suddenly, Jin-hu approached us, face full of worry.
"Yeah, no problems. A-yeon's healthy too."
"Phew..."
Jin-hu sighed in relief, patting his chest.
After checking Seol-ae's condition, he shoved his face right up to mine.
"This is A-yeon? She's gorgeous. Her eyes take after you, honey."
Bu, burdensome...
Even in my past life, he'd never gotten this close. Friend or not, respect my personal space a bit. Wait, he's my dad now...
"Wanna try grabbing my finger?" "Like this?"
At Seol-ae's suggestion, Jin-hu offered his thumb to my tiny palm.
He wanted that cute baby grip reaction, huh?
But I had my pride. I couldn't give in that easily...
Squeeze. But thanks to humanity's ingrained instincts, I gripped his finger hard.
"Ugh..."
This body I couldn't resist was just pitiful.
One month old. I was already at the age where I could discern the subtle sweetness of breast milk.
At first, I staunchly refused Han Seol-ae's milk... but
Gurgle...
Hunger crushed pride and all.
"A-yeon, time for milk."
At my hunger signal, Seol-ae opened her top to nurse.
Suck suck.
Suckling from the student I once taught. How did the genius professor Shin Ijun fall to this?!
My pathetic state was shameful, sad, self-loathing, torturous... but weirdly, not really.
'It's delicious...!'
Nutrients hitting my starving body triggered a dopamine, endorphin, oxytocin rush straight to the brain.
I even looked forward to nursing time.
Humans adapt, as they say.
To Seol-ae's milk. To Jin-hu's cheek kisses. To family baths. To not holding pee.
In just a month, I'd adapted to it all.
'Pessimism's pointless. Can't do much in this body anyway. Gotta accept my rebirth.'
To write that paper later, top priority was healthy growth and stamina. I'd drink Seol-ae's milk and nap like crazy for it...!
Three months old. Before I knew it, I grasped the profound chaos of the mobile's trajectory. Flap flap~ Actually, just fun watching it spin from the ceiling.
"Nihihi."
Suddenly, voices from the living room: Seol-ae and Jin-hu.
"Honey, school called today."
"School?"
"Yeah. Professor Shin Ijun's research materials are all sorted. They said to pick them up."
Jin-hu sighed deeply.
"Ah... that thing. It's been almost a year since Ijun died..."
"Yeah, so sad. He was such a good guy. The materials had tons on the Riemann Hypothesis."
"That was his obsession since PhD days. Must be a mountain of notes."
"But the paper stuff's such a mess no one can make sense of it. His organized ideas were in the cloud, but no one's accessing it now... So as his only student, I'm taking the papers. Gonna store them in the study."
Hearing that snapped me alert.
'Study...! My research notes are in the study...!'
Regaining my senses, I objectively assessed my state.
'Gasp...! What have I been doing all this time...!'
After reincarnating from that mishap, I'd set the grand goal of writing up the Riemann proof as a paper.
But what had I done? Nom nom on delicious milk, flop around giggling at the flapping mobile...!
When did I degenerate this far... Shin Ijun!
'Not the time. Need to move freely ASAP. Goal: reach the study and check materials.'
Flipping, crawling, walking, talking, weaning, potty training, etc.
These milestones vary hugely per baby.
That variance means effort speeds them up.
So from that day, I started daily movement training.
Wiggle wiggle. From finger fine motor to full-body gross motor. Activating muscle nerve cells.
Body changed, brain-body link reset, so rewiring circuits took time. Inevitable. 'Imagery's key.'
Constant mental image training.
Sensory receptors in muscles/joints signal brain on body structure.
Frontal lobe draws image, motor cortex plans moves, basal ganglia filters excess, cerebellum compares commands to feedback for real-time corrections.
Practiced this sequence thousands of times in the crib. Ten thousand daily wiggles and imagery. This'll pay off big later.
Flail flail. Though to others, just thrashing.
Six months old. I'd escaped the crib, crawling around the room. Two months ahead of average.
Plod plod plod.
Thrilling sneaking around when Seol-ae wasn't looking.
Plod plod plod...!
Finally at the study door. But it was shut tight, knob too high.
"A-yeon, dangerous here. Play with Mommy."
"Hngh!"
Finally reached, but can't open. Powerlessness nearly brought tears.
'Just a bit more...!'
Nine months old.
I could balance on two feet and walk. And speak my first word. Both three months early.
Step step.
"Yay! Walking success! Our A-yeon's the best!"
Seol-ae clapped wildly, snapping pics of me standing tall.
As I mumbled to speak,
"Ma... ma..."
'Riemann Hypothesis... research materials...'
"Gasp... talking too! Mommy, right? Our girl's a genius!"
Seol-ae showered praise till it tickled, then called Jin-hu to brag.
"Honey! A-yeon just talked! Called me Mommy!"
"What, really? Already?"
"Average is twelve months for walking and talking, but A-yeon's nine months. Think she's really a genius?"
"Maybe. I'll grab a gift for dinner!"
Not actually calling "mommy," but their joy made it fine.
"Hmph."
Heehee. Anyway, Seol-ae's praise unwittingly lifted my lips.
'Huh...?'
Past me hated praise. Why so good...!
Her genes? A little praise melted my brain gooey, chest warm and happy.
'No, snap out of it, Shin Ijun...! Big goal: write the paper...! Don't forget!'
I shook my head, denying the feelings.
Then.
Wobble.
"Whoa, careful!"
Seol-ae caught my near-fall.
Heart pounding from shock, tears welled.
"Hic... sob..."
"It's okay, okay. There."
But her warm embrace and gentle back pats melted the fear into a sense of peace.
Aah... Head denies, but body already sees her as mom...
Twenty months old. Two-year-younger sister Yoo A-rin was born.