Chapter 15
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: Bored? You've Hit the Jackpot
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"You're bored, huh? You picked the right one."
After leaving the village, we followed a path only Kana knew.
She walked slightly ahead, gripping my hand tightly as if guiding me, but it was obvious she just wanted to keep holding on. It was adorable.
"What meat do elves like best? You don't eat goblins or orcs, right?"
"Wild boar or deer."
"What should I do?"
Kana spotted something and lightly hopped onto a tree branch.
"Panties today are sky blue."
"Hey!"
"Uhyot."
She heard me and tried pulling down her waist guard to cover her panties.
But in that position, there was no hiding them.
Elves and their super miniskirts as standard wear—too perfect.
"Ugh."
Seeming to give up on covering herself, Kana squatted on the branch and scanned the area briefly.
Then she hopped to the next branch, then the next, moving that way.
This time, it was a pace I could follow.
She'd found something. I hadn't spotted a thing.
Crouching and trailing behind her, a deer soon came into view.
'Already found one.'
Kana nocked an arrow and drew the bowstring in an instant.
Pew!!
Clean hit.
Not the head, but right by the heart. It dropped in one shot.
That precision left no room for blood to even spill.
"I'll carry it. Help out."
"OK."
If she brought me along as a porter, fair enough.
Way more efficient than me pretending to shoot arrows.
I hefted the deer with ease.
Kana looked mildly surprised.
"Pretty strong. ...Thought you were scrawny."
I puffed up a little.
"This much is nothing."
Dead animal carcasses are heavy, no doubt. But one was no problem.
After that, I assisted with Kana's hunts.
No livestock, not nomads—yet meat everywhere.
Elf hunting skills were unreal.
As long as the forest didn't run dry of animals, meat would never be an issue.
Before I knew it, I'd hauled four deer and boars total to our temporary base camp.
"Carrying usually takes forever. Thanks for the help."
"No biggie."
"Now to process them. Grab that one."
Next came the nasty work.
Skinning, gutting the useless bits, wrapping the meat neatly.
Kana handled it flawlessly, not a drop of sweat.
Dismantling into meat, bones, and hides took hours. Afternoon by the end.
"Whew."
"Good work. Sweaty, bloody—shower time..."
"OK."
Blood stench and gut funk inevitably clung to our clothes.
"Not tiring? No complaints makes me happy."
"Nah, manual labor like this is routine."
Felt like old army days.
Cleaning roe deer corpses near base—built up tolerance.
"How you gonna shower? Can't take it off, right?"
"Cleans itself."
"..."
Kana shot me a skeptical glance.
"No, really. You know I don't lie."
"Hmm. Clothes maybe, but body?"
"Wanna smell?"
I got curious too.
People miss their own scents—third-party check seals it.
Kana sidled up and casually sniffed my chest.
"Sniff sniff."
"Well? Verify thoroughly."
"Sniff... sniff... Hmm. Weird. No real smell. Faking it?"
"Stank a sec, but it fades fast."
"Body odor's there. Fresh sweat... man scent... sniff sniff..."
"Hang on..."
I stared at Kana, flustered.
"Hey, that deep...?"
"!"
Kana flushed crimson.
"Ah, no—you said thorough verification."
I pulled her into a hug right away. Sniffed her nape.
Nearly pouncing. She panicked, squirmed to escape—but resistance was half-hearted.
"Hey, what're you doing?"
"My turn to smell. Sniff sniff."
"I don't have auto-clean."
"Smells good."
Sniff sniff.
Ignoring her clothes' stink, right into her skin.
Sharing scents with Kana—nice.
Elf skin carried a captivating aroma. Sweat blended with forest blooms, faint fruits.
Like a bouquet. Skin scent divine.
"..."
Kana's ears went red as she let me sniff.
"Really that good?"
"This spot passes. Nose in your ass next for full confirmation."
"As if I'd let you."
Heh heh.
Her embarrassment was gold.
"Anyway, your white suit's spotless—got it. Gonna wash up."
"Can peek?"
"Whatever. You'd do it anyway."
Kana was surprisingly chill about peeping.
"Body confidence on point."
"Kinda?"
"But why no elf-average bust?"
"O-other elves are huge! Ellie's overgrown especially...! Mine are... pretty cute."
Kana wilted mid-sentence.
Definitely G-cup or more. Next to head-sized Ellie, she seemed modest.
Modern standards? Kana was slim-glamour perfection.
"Mind changed. No peeking."
"Gotcha. Eyes off the chest."
"...Pisses me off. Seriously. Hey, guard this spot. Raiders incoming now."
"OK."
Brought the short sword...
"No short sword?"
"You bolted out empty-handed. Forgot?"
"Ah, yeah."
"..."
"..."
Kana's gaze screamed 'Trust this idiot?'
"Don't worry. Fists for men."
"...Sure."
Dubious tone, but she headed to the nearby waterfall.
Waterfall shower.
Like a tale's nymph. Or wuxia beauty.
Peeking semi-approved, so I watched her neatly strip and enter.
And...
The moment Kana left,
the forest's vibe shifted subtly.
'Tch, warning was legit...'
Nothing like my old forest.
Here, not mindless beasts—semi-sentient monsters prowled.
Untouchable elf gone, goblins poked heads out, eyeing easy prey.
"Kikik."
"Kikekek."
"..."
Yeah, yeah.
Think you can take me?
"You're bored, huh? You picked the right one."
Today's farming—start!!
"Semen Man Punch!!"
Semen Man Punch!!
Pwoom!!
"Keeek!!"
Added the original skill name and smashed with my fist.
Better impact than expected.
"Ego Dump Punch!!"
Ego Dump Punch!!
Poom!!
"Kek! Gek!"
Making a racket drew more goblins.
Perfect!!
"Come at me all!"
I trusted the suit's defense and brawled the goblins.
They favored rusty, filth-caked knives at the ankles.
Short stature made upper bodies tough targets.
Legs first proved effective—they'd learned that.
But the tights neither tore nor soiled.
I focused purely on counterattacks.
And.
Poom!!
'My fists always this strong?'
Strength felt especially crisp today.
Not just a feeling.
Suit level has risen.
Suit level has risen...
Current level 8
Suit levels up, my body follows suit?
Bare-knuckle gains huge, thanks to the Dick Fighting Manual.
"Test time?"
Goblins down, I straight-punched a tree.
Poom!!
Then I grasped the power shift.
Deep groove etched in, faint vibration.
Tights shielded—no scrapes or bruises.
Puk! Puk! Puk!
Pummeled the tree.
'Definitely stronger.'
Odd.
Not me growing—the bound gear was.
Irremovable, so full physical boost.
"Then..."
Dick Thrust powered up too...?
Not keen on public demos.
But...
'Gotta test.'
Glanced around.
Eyed still-bathing Kana—got hard.
Erection prerequisite—such a hassle...
"Like... hip snap?"
Big dick meant range, but low trajectory vs. fists—tricky.
First shot.
"Dick Thrust!!"
Dick Thrust!!
Body unleashed insane elasticity.
'What!'
No human springiness!
Muscles rocketed like thrusters—light, supple, spearing the tree.
Pwook!!
Dick bored a hole clean through.
Dick rigidity: Maximum
"Stronger than my fist?"
Wait... too deep. Stuck.
Straining looked like tree-fucking.
Pobobop!
Clothing destruction effect
"What!!"
Bark shredded off entirely, exposing pale innards.
"No, shit. Don't cum solo. It's a tree!"
Clothing destruction effect?
Tree's clothes = bark...? Human equivalent skin?
Anyway, one tree's leaves and bark exploded to dust—shocked me.
Yanked out the raging hard-on. Remainder:
Dick-thick hole piercing through, white core visible opposite.
"...Hate this as a finisher..."
Harsh reality check.
Joking "Semen Man" might turn real later.
Isekai physical buffs—basic, barely cheat-tier.
But...
'Feels off.'
Different.
Not power hitting 9999 for mega-fists.
Or agility maxing reflexes, agility boosting damage.
Not that vibe...
'Elasticity?'
Body felt bouncier now.
Not ideal human muscle term, but taut? Spring-loaded?
That sensation.
"Guhk."
Then.
Isekai arrival deja vu hit.
"Oh, you guys..."
Goblin-sized? No—way bigger builds, scarier weapons.
Normal joe? Run-for-life matchup appeared.
Orcs.
"..."
Call Kana?
Ridiculous—even as I pondered, she yelled from afar.
"Need backup?!"
"Nah...! Got this solo!"
Hup. Let's go.
Steadied breath. Time to bury the pansy past—smart play!
"Come at me!!"