It's No Big Deal, Right?
It's no big deal, right?
Rionne stopped Enoch as he charged forward to smash the dwarf's skull and gave Liraum a subtle glance. The look said everything: You started this mess, so clean it up.
“R-run away right now…! The witch has appeared…!”
“Ugh, shit! Old man! Stop spouting nonsense!”
“W-what…! You said she was the Thousand-Year Sword Queen!”
“Yeah, that part’s true.”
“Kyaaaaaaaah…!!”
It ultimately took about twenty minutes to calm the dwarf down. The old man was huffing and puffing, exhausted from the commotion he himself had caused. Liraum thumped his back with heavy slaps.
“Come on, old timer. What kind of rumors have you even heard? Sure, she’s a strange woman, but not enough to throw a fit like this.”
“The Thousand-Year Sword Queen is that dwarf slaughterer, isn’t she!”
“I don’t know about slaughterer, but I’ve definitely heard man-hater.”
The old man shot Rionne a sour look. Naturally, Enoch was glaring at him like he wanted to rip him apart.
“Anyway, old man. Looks like we’re fucked.”
“What? Why are you suddenly throwing a tantrum!”
“Because you just created one future dwarf slaughterer.”
The old man glanced at Enoch and let out a dry chuckle.
“Pfft, tsk. Dwarf slaughterer my ass. It’d be a miracle if that kid’s head doesn’t crack open first.”
Liraum figured the old man probably didn’t have many days left and smoothly changed the subject.
“Anyway, he wants a tour.”
“Huh? Who?”
“Who else? Them. Show the little brat how badass dwarves are. Come on, yeah?”
“No, what the… I’m busy, you bitch!”
“Busy my ass! Just do it already! You’re the one who caused a scene with me!”
After a brief round of bickering, the old man finally surrendered.
“Fine, fine! Good grief, putting an old man to work like this.”
Grumbling, the old man approached Rionne and Enoch. He still looked slightly tense whenever his eyes landed on Rionne, but he laughed boldly and flung open the workshop door.
“All right, follow me! I’ll show you the true essence of dwarves!”
The first stop was a tavern. The fact that a tavern even existed on a volcano was surprising enough, but it was packed wall-to-wall with dwarves.
“Oh, the old man’s here?”
“Shut your mouth, you!”
Once Liraum revealed Rionne’s identity in the noisy tavern—
“Kyaaaaah…!”
“It’s the witch…!!”
After the now-familiar uproar died down, the conversation finally continued.
“So you’re curious about dwarves?”
“What’s so special about us! Here, have a drink!”
The drunken dwarves shoved mugs of beer toward Rionne and Enoch. After a moment of hesitation, Rionne reluctantly nodded.
“Well… Enoch should be fine with beer. Go on, try it. Dwarven beer is the most famous, after all.”
The mug was the size of a human head. Enoch stared at it with clear reluctance, but under Rionne’s gaze he took a big gulp.
“Krrgh…”
“How is it? Not bad, right?”
Rionne smiled softly and took a sip. White foam clung to her lips like a mustache. Then her red tongue slipped out and neatly licked it away.
“Oh…”
Beer wasn’t bad. Enoch kept drinking while openly admiring Rionne as his side dish.
“Oh, the little brat drinks pretty well for his size!”
“Shut up, midget.”
“Oh ho! This guy’s got spirit! Pretty dwarfish of him!”
Enoch briefly wondered whether being called dwarfish was a compliment or an insult, but before long he had melted into the lively atmosphere.
The sun that had dyed the sky red slipped behind the mountain. In place of streetlights, the red glow of lava illuminated the volcanic night.
The tavern door burst open with a bang.
“Hmm…?”
Enoch, who had been dozing pleasantly in Rionne’s arms, lifted his head.
“You lot! Stop chugging and grab your tools!”
“Dammit, you old fart! Did it erupt again?”
“Always at the best moment, I swear!”
The dwarves, faces flushed red from drink, began gathering their gear. Most grabbed hammers, though a few picked up iron maces or metal clubs.
“Oh! Hey! Come on! This is the real show!”
An excited Liraum snatched up her own hammer and joined them. Enoch froze for a second, trying to process the situation. Then his body rose into the air—Rionne had lifted him into her arms.
“Shall we go watch?”
“Yeah.”
“Wrap your arms around my neck. Good boy.”
With Enoch held securely, Rionne stepped out of the tavern.
Black sky. Red-glowing lava. Clanging bells and the shouts of dwarves. As they walked at a leisurely pace, they spotted a group of roughly a hundred dwarves.
“Let’s go, you bastards!”
“Ooooh!!!”
The tool-wielding dwarves rushed toward the volcano in a great wave. From deep inside came a heavy rumble—then Kwaaaaaang———!! The volcano erupted.
Lava, ash, and massive boulders shot into the sky. Mixed among them were…
“Monsters?”
As Enoch tilted his head, a hammer flew up with a thwack and smashed a falling monster’s head to pieces. That was the signal.
“Kill them all!”
“These damn persistent bastards!”
Monsters poured from the crater. Some were hurled skyward by the explosion, others swept along by rivers of lava. No matter how they arrived, the dwarves were waiting.
“Yeehaw!”
“Watch your head over there!”
“Kyaaaak…!”
In the blink of an eye, monster heads burst open. It looked less like battle and more like a small festival parade. Enoch and Rionne watched the spectacle from a short distance away.
“Hehe. Fun, isn’t it?”
“A little…”
It looks stupid. He kept that part to himself. Rionne seemed to understand anyway and chuckled softly.
“That’s exactly why it’s fun. It’s so cheerful.”
“Yeah.”
“Wherever dwarves gather, it’s always noisy. The whole race is pretty much like this.”
Personalities differed from individual to individual, but members of the same race often shared common traits. The dwarves were no exception. Of course, taking it too far would become prejudice, but this much was probably fine.
“Ugh—hup… Nice weather tonight.”
Rionne stretched lazily and began walking with light steps. The muggy heat blended with the cool night breeze, creating a strangely pleasant feeling. Noisy yet quiet and peaceful—this moment reminded Rionne of festivals in a small village from long ago.
Then—Pwoooooosh——————!!!
A massive explosion erupted from the volcano. And from it emerged a monster just as enormous.
“Huh…?”
“Shit…”
The dwarves froze. Lava dripped from the newly emerged monster’s body. Its skin, resembling black basalt, was cracked in places to reveal glowing lava-like flesh beneath. Eyes the size of the volcano itself looked down at the dwarves on the ground.
—KkkIiiiaaaaa──────!!!
The roar triggered total panic.
“We’re fucked!”
“Liraum! Where’s Liraum!”
“Run, run, run!”
The short, stocky dwarves scattered in every direction. But Liraum, the great dwarf warrior, stood her ground.
“Hey, you bastards! Aren’t you ashamed?!”
The fleeing dwarves glanced back at her booming voice. Liraum shouted again.
“Hey! Rionne! What are you waiting for!”
Rionne tilted her head.
“Help me out, you fucker!”
At the bold request, Rionne let out a dry laugh.
“After acting like you could handle everything yourself.”
“I’m a blacksmith, not a warrior.”
The great dwarf blacksmith thrust her hand forward.
“Go, Rionne! Fuck it up!”
“Sigh…”
Rionne stepped forward with a sigh, but a faint smile lingered on her lips.
“It always ends like this, doesn’t it?”
Shiiing— Her three swords slid free, reflecting the red glow of the lava. Beneath the bright moon, the elf’s golden hair fluttered in the night wind.
—KkyyIiiIAaaa─────!!
The lizard-like creature made of jagged black stone roared and stomped. Kwaang—! The volcano erupted again, sending a tidal wave of lava straight at Rionne.
“Jeez… This is going to be such a pain to clean up later.”
Rionne spread her slender fingers. With a light tap, the finger that had drawn a single point in the air rose toward the sky. The oncoming lava suddenly defied gravity, rising into the air as countless floating droplets.
“Ooh…!”
“That’s the Thousand-Year Sword Queen!”
“What!? The Thousand-Year Sword Queen!? Kyaaaaah…!”
Ignoring the noisy dwarves, Rionne moved her fingers with slow precision. She was being careful and meticulous so her cute disciple could see every detail.
“Watch.”
Rionne raised her sword high. The tens of thousands—hundreds of thousands—of lava droplets floating in the sky took on the shape of blades and aimed at the monster.
“Watch closely, Enoch. For big monsters like that, you do it like this.”
The sword drew downward in a slow arc. Without any warning, crack! The monster’s body split cleanly in two.
—KKkrrk!?
The monster panicked and tried to pull itself back together, but—
“If you mince it finely, most of them die.”
At those words, the countless lava swords suspended in the air rained down on the monster all at once.
It was a majestic sight, like a rain of fire. The result, however, was anything but gentle.
Kugugugugugu──────────!!!
With an earth-shaking roar, thick black smoke billowed endlessly into the sky. It wouldn’t be surprising if the monster itself had ascended—either physically or in the metaphorical sense.
While the dwarves offered silent condolences to the thoroughly minced monster, Rionne sheathed her sword and walked back to Enoch.
“How was it? It’s no big deal, right?”