The Thousand-Year Virgin
The millennium virgin. The dwarf who suddenly found herself on the receiving end of a string of curses narrowed her eyes dangerously. What she saw was one insolent human brat and one flustered elf. The picture in her head snapped into focus almost immediately. The dwarf spat out without hesitation, “What, is he your son? No matter who the kid takes after, he’s got zero manners.”
“W-what? He’s not my son!”
“Not your son?”
There was no way a woman her age still hadn’t found a partner, so who the hell was he? “Haa…” Rionne let out a long sigh and introduced Enoch. “He’s my disciple. It’s been about three years.”
“Your disciple? You?”
Ignoring the astonished dwarf, Rionne turned to Enoch this time. “That shor— I mean, that dwarf is Liraum. She’s an old fri— an old companion of mine. We used to travel together.”
“Friend? With a midget?”
Enoch’s eyes widened as if he had just heard something that defied common sense. Because this was entirely her own fault, Rionne squeezed her eyes shut.
“Wow, what the hell is with that kid? If he runs his mouth like that outside, his skull’s gonna get cracked open on the spot.”
“Ah, no… It’s my fault…”
“Aha.” Liraum let out a cackling laugh. “Still haven’t kicked that habit, huh? What the hell have you been doing for all those years?”
“W-what’s wrong with my age!”
“The Thousand-Year Sword Queen acting like this? Oh, wait—is it because you’re the Thousand-Year Sword Queen? Keeping your chastity for a whole millennium? Should’ve called you the Thousand-Year Virgin instead.”
“Y-you crazy bitch! It hasn’t been that long—!”
Beside Rionne, who was trembling with fierce indignation, Enoch’s eyes flew wide open. Tug, tug. Feeling his sleeve being pulled, Rionne turned her head.
“U-um, Enoch. What is it?”
Rionne’s face flushed slightly; she hadn’t meant to let the curse slip out. But Enoch’s attention was fixed somewhere else entirely.
“Rionne, are you really a thousand years old?”
“……!!”
The elf, betrayed by the disciple she trusted most, was rendered speechless, her mouth opening and closing wordlessly. But Enoch was completely serious. If she was a thousand years old, the age gap between them was roughly nine hundred and eighty— No, that wasn’t much of a difference at all. So let’s just say it was about a thousand years. With an age difference like that, from Rionne’s perspective, wouldn’t he look like nothing more than a squirming little blood clot?
While he was pondering this with grave sincerity, Rionne refuted him with equal seriousness. “Listen carefully, Enoch. Noona’s age is a lit—tle on the high side, but it’s not that bad yet. Okay? A thousand years old? That’s ridiculous.”
Liraum laughed as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Noona? Noo—na? I’m losing my mind. The age difference between you two is ch— mmph…!!”
The elf who had subdued the dwarf began marching forward with determined strides. “All right, all right! Instead of doing this out here, let’s go inside and talk.”
“Okay.” Enoch followed quietly behind her, wondering what exactly he would need to do to overcome an age gap like that.
*
The volcanic region. As expected, it wasn’t a place where many people lived. The only inhabitants were a handful of dwarves who worked as blacksmiths. Rionne barged into the workshop belonging to Liraum—one of their number—and roughly set the dwarf down on the floor.
“This little shit really…”
The irritated dwarf grumbled and straightened her rumpled clothes. She stood at about the height of Rionne’s solar plexus, with arms thickly corded with muscle and striking flame-red hair. Enoch observed the first dwarf he had ever seen in his life with great care, comparing her to the mental image he had formed and noting the differences. There weren’t many.
“So what the hell brings you here? Jayura drops by every once in a while, but you—it feels like it’s been almost a hundred years.”
“Jayura?”
“Yeah. She came by just two months ago.”
At the unfamiliar name, Enoch glanced at Rionne. Come to think of it, she had never mentioned it before. Rionne offered a simple explanation. “I told you Liraum was a friend I used to travel with, right? Jayura’s the same. The three of us wandered all over the place back then.”
“That’s when you got the title Thousand-Year Sword Queen.”
“Hey.”
“Mm…”
At the razor-sharp tone, Liraum promptly shut her mouth.
Letting out a small sigh, Rionne finally got to the main point. “Anyway, I came to ask for a favor.”
“A favor? From you?”
“Yes.”
Having decided to be direct, Rionne made her request without hesitation. “Make a weapon for Enoch. Gauntlets would probably work best.”
“Pass.”
“…Is there something you want in return?”
“Qualifications.”
Rionne’s brows drew together. “You’re still clinging to that outdated custom?”
“…Coming from you, ‘outdated’ doesn’t exactly carry much weight, does it?”
Even four hundred years ago, when many dwarves still upheld the tradition, Rionne had already been considered old.
“Shut up.” Rionne growled. “Besides, that brat doesn’t look particularly interested in weapons anyway.”
“Huh?” At Liraum’s words, Rionne turned to look at Enoch. Just as the dwarf had said, Enoch’s eyes were sparkling—not at the prospect of a weapon, but at seeing an entirely new side of Rionne.
“Hey, brat.” Liraum leaned back against the wall and stared at him. Being short and stocky, the pose didn’t exactly look cool. “It’s a dwarf-forged weapon. Not even a little tempted?”
“Not really.” Enoch tilted his head. “If it’s a weapon made by a midget, wouldn’t it only be useful for midgets anyway?”
Liraum looked at Rionne in utter disbelief. Rionne clutched her head in both hands.
“W-what have I done…!”
“I always knew this crazy elf bitch would cause trouble one day.”
Crazy elf bitch? Enoch’s eyebrows shot upward.
“…I don’t need any dwarf-forged whatever. I think it would be much better if Rionne just carved one for me out of wood.”
The ironclad concept Enoch had maintained until now had completely shattered, allowing the words to flow far too smoothly, but Rionne was in no state to notice.
“N-no, Enoch…! She’s way better at making weapons! I’m better than her at everything else, though!”
“Wow, this bitch really doesn’t know when to quit…”
Enoch kept going. How dare she insult Rionne?
“I wouldn’t use it even if you gave it to me. My own hands feel stronger.”
“Heh heh…”
“Metal gauntlets would just be stiff anyway. They wouldn’t help at all.”
Rionne’s eyes darted around nervously while Liraum let out a low, rumbling laugh. Then the dwarf suddenly shot to her feet.
“You just wait right there. I’ll show you what a real weapon looks like. Not some half-assed fake made by an elf—the real thing.”
“I don’t need—”
“You brought something, didn’t you?”
Rionne reluctantly held out the mithril.
“I’ll be back before the tea gets cold.”
“You never even served us any tea…”
Bang! Liraum vanished deeper into the workshop.
Undine, who had been eavesdropping from the middle of the conversation, cautiously poked her head out.
Oh… Kid. You’re pretty sharp, huh?
“Huh?”
Huh?
Undine tilted her head.
You were provoking her on purpose, weren’t you?
“Huh?”
Enoch tilted his head in confusion.
It was sincere…!?
Of course it had been one hundred percent pure sincerity.
*
Undine, who had been reverse-summoned for talking back to Rionne. It wasn’t unusual for her to sneak back into the middle realm like this. Enoch had simply assumed that all high-grade spirits were like that and let it slide.
While Liraum was busy forging the weapon, they had some free time. Enoch pushed Eri toward Undine.
Kkya?
What? What do you want me to do about it?
“Watch and learn from her?”
One thing Enoch was absolutely certain of was that Undine’s skill was the real deal. Her skill alone, that is. Everything else was questionable.
Watch and learn what? You think that’ll work?
“It won’t?”
That’s what I’m sa— …Hm.
Come to think of it, the kid did seem to learn just by watching. Hadn’t he picked up magic the same way—by roughly copying whatever Rionne did? From the very beginning, he had been the strange one who ended up piercing straight through to the middle dantian while trying to form his lower one.
…Fine. I’ll teach her myself.
Undine took Eri a short distance away and began explaining something in detail. Enoch glanced at Rionne, who was deeply lost in thought, then for no particular reason picked up two nearby cups.
“Water, rise.”
With a faint crackle of electricity, a fist-sized orb of water formed. Satisfied with his improved magic, Enoch began thoroughly scrubbing the cups clean.
“…Enoch? What are you doing?”
“Huh? Getting ready to pour water.”
“I’m pretty sure those were already clean.”
“But they were used by a dwarf.”
“…….”
Rionne finally understood the truth. This could not continue. Enoch had clearly promised he would not make species-discriminatory remarks. Yet he said such things without the slightest hesitation. He was a good child who always kept every promise he made to Rionne herself. Which meant he had absolutely no awareness that those words were discriminatory at all.
“Oh, God…”
Rionne, who had never once sought the divine in her long life, prayed for the first time and tapped an empty chair.
“Enoch, come sit here.”
It seemed the time had truly, genuinely come to discipline him properly.
*
“So, Enoch, you mustn’t say things like that. Understand?”
“Yes.”
It failed. Rionne was utterly powerless against those large, sparkling, innocent eyes. After all, this disaster was one she had brought upon herself. Even if she sighed until the heavens split open, there was nothing she could say.
…This is terrible!
What would happen if things continued like this? Simulations began running through Rionne’s mind.
Enoch’s talent was extraordinary. It wasn’t merely outstanding—it was a talent that might never appear again in this world. If time flowed normally, it was entirely possible he would one day conquer the entire continent.
Now, let’s assume that possibility became reality. An adult Enoch, having claimed the title of the continent’s strongest, standing alone atop the world.
Vivid scenes played out in Rionne’s imagination. A colossal imperial palace. Subjects bowing their heads in reverence. Enoch seated upon a lofty throne, gazing down at all of humanity with arrogant eyes as he murmured.
Hmm. Those bug-like creatures are irritating.
Yes, Your Majesty! Shall we dispose of them at once?
Humanity went extinct.
Hm? Those midgets are still alive? All those thieving bastards need to be wiped out.
By your command!
The dwarves went extinct.
Dragons? Annoying.
Yes sir!
The dragons went extinct.
Hehe, those beastkin are quite unpleasant to look at too. Filthy animal bastards.
Yap!
The beastkin went extinct.
In the end, only elves remained across the entire continent. Having foreseen that horrifying future, Rionne let out a horrified gasp.
“Hiiik…!”
This could not continue.
No matter what, that’s going too far, Enoch…!
Rionne squeezed her eyes shut. She had to scold him properly at least once, but she had no confidence. She had already become incapable of disciplining Enoch. After all, how could anyone scold such an adorable child…!
Of course she knew it shouldn’t be this way. Indulging a child unconditionally was the fastest way to ruin them.
“Ugh…!”
Rionne steeled her resolve.
And at that exact moment—
BANG!
The workshop door flew open with a violent crash.
“Hey! Take a look! It’s finished! This is what a real dwarf-made weapon looks like, you brat!”
“Liraum!”
“Huh?”
“Help me out here!”
Rionne requested proxy parenting from Liraum on the spot.
“Wait, what the hell is this all of a sudden…”