Chapter 32
Chapter 32
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: A Gift for the Elf
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Capri headed to the kitchen.
A cute pink apron was tied around her massive body.
The sight bridged the chaos between rationality and irrationality, leaving Enoch blinking blankly for a moment.
“What’re you staring at? First time seeing someone cook?”
“…Just.”
He had something to receive, so he let it slide for now.
Enoch scratched his head and stood beside Capri.
“Food elves like. And food women like. Something like that, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Even I’m self-aware enough to know my tastes don’t match an ordinary woman’s, so I went around asking people myself.”
Capri neatly laid out the prepared ingredients.
Mostly greens.
As Enoch stared, Capri began explaining.
“Elves’ diets are mostly vegetarian, right?”
“Nope?”
Lione liked meat too.
Capri scratched her head, looking a bit flustered.
“Uh…. Doesn’t like greens?”
“Not that she hates them.”
“Well, good enough.”
Flash—the kitchen knife in Capri’s hand gleamed.
It looked ready to slice a person in half any second.
“Something elves like, women like, easy enough for you—who’s never cooked—to handle. Obviously a salad.”
“That’s cooking? Isn’t it just piling up greens?”
“You’d be surprised. There’s more variety than you think, and the cook’s skill matters too.”
“Hmm.”
Capri was the relative expert here.
Whether she’d sliced people or whatever to get the experience, she had more than Enoch, so he nodded for now.
“Watch closely then. It’s nothing special.”
The array of greens laid out.
Capri placed them on the cutting board and started chopping away.
“Oh…?”
She was surprisingly good.
Not the brutal slashes for carving people, but the skilled cuts of a homemaker.
“Didn’t expect that.”
“I took bride training once.”
“Bride training…?”
He had to crane his neck just to see her face, her body packed with muscles harder than stone.
With looks leaning more beast than human, “bride training” felt like peering into something indescribable.
“…Isn’t that too much? I’m at the age where I should be settling down soon.”
“Hmm.”
“Don’t tease me over my looks. That’s not nice?”
No arguing with that.
True enough.
Lione had said similar things often.
“Sorry.”
“Eh, whatever. I think the same anyway.”
Capri chuckled as she transferred the neatly prepped veggies into a bowl with a cute pattern.
Then in another bowl, she mixed unknown sauces, added salt and pepper, and squeezed half a lemon for lemon juice.
“Mmm, not bad.”
She tasted the dressing, nodded in satisfaction, and poured it evenly over the salad.
It looked casually done, yet somehow turned into an impressively gourmet salad.
What’s this? She’s actually good at cooking?
As Enoch gawked, Capri speared some with a fork and held it out.
“Here, try it. Capri’s special muscle-up salad.”
“Muscle-up?”
“Eat one bite and that night? Ugh…! Anyway, just try it.”
Nom, Enoch chewed the offered salad.
His eyes soon widened round.
“Oh…?”
What? Why’s it so good?
You could feel an expert’s touch.
[What’s this? The brat’s reacting like that? Gimme some!]
Undine popped out from hiding and snatched the salad.
“W-What!?”
Capri startled, but the spirit ignored her, stuffing her mouth full.
[Oh, ooh…!]
Eyes sparkling, she patted Capri’s head repeatedly.
[You! Human! You’ve got cooking talent? Ditch mercenary work and be a chef! Train hard and you’ll hit grand master!]
Grand master in cooking.
At the absurd claim, Capri narrowed her eyes.
“Hey, Enoch. What’s with this spirit? Yours?”
“Nah, Lione’s.”
Enoch, already clutching the salad plate and munching, patted his chest.
“Eri. Try some. It’s good.”
But no response.
She’d been quiet since the monster wave—had he pushed her too hard?
“Lione? Sounds familiar.”
“Yeah, Sword Saint.”
“Sword Saint? Oh, that Sword Saint?”
Capri smacked her fist into her palm like she got it.
Then, after a beat,
“That Sword Saint…!?!!?”
A brief commotion followed.
*
Enoch earnestly learned the salad recipe from Capri.
One small problem, though.
“Ah, no! Why’re you putting that in there!?”
“Seemed tasty?”
Enoch had zero cooking talent.
“Stop! Don’t infuse your knife with sword aura! The veggies are burning!”
“Why? Cuts great.”
“Just stop when I say stop!”
Charred veggies got doused with twisted purple netherworld dressing.
“Why’s it this color? Did you add something weird?”
“Nope? Just a bit more of this.”
“Chocolate? No way that’d turn it like this…?”
After trials and tribulations, one finished salad plate.
The least disastrous from the 43rd attempt.
“…Please just follow the recipe without your ‘creativity’?”
“Hmm, weird. Usually works fine.”
“What’s…?”
“Whether martial arts or magic.”
He’d just improvise and new stuff popped out, but why not salad?
Sure, something new emerged, but it wasn’t positive by any stretch.
Capri pondered seriously too.
“Is this the law of conservation…?”
All his talent dumped into combat, leaving cooking hopelessly barren?
Though with this monster kid’s skills, hopeless in other areas wouldn’t matter.
Cooking?
Why bother himself.
Just hold a knife to a chef’s throat and they’d whip it up.
“Anyway, recipe’s here—take it. And please don’t get creative. Okay? Just do exactly as it says.”
“We’ll see.”
“You said you’d treat her to a meal. Planning to poison the Sword Saint?”
Would Lione falter over something like this?
She’d probably one-shot lethal poison without a blink.
But the goal was a tasty meal, so he relented.
“Got it.”
*
[When’d you prep this? You didn’t know you’d fight Lione, right?]
“Just, last time I was here.”
Stuff he’d prepared thinking Lione might like something for her.
Never expected to use it like this.
[How commendable.]
Ignoring Undine’s head-pats, Enoch gathered electricity at his toes.
‘Recipe’s safe in my pocket. Gift’s packed.’
He’d checked the proxy-bought gift’s quality with Capri—no oversights.
Nod. Enoch nodded solemnly and kicked off the ground.
Boom—!
A purple streak crossed the sky.
Enoch, runaway complete, finally returned home.
*
“E-Enooock…!”
The elf came running, tears flying.
In Enoch’s brief hesitation, Lione—true to Sword Saint form—slipped in fast and hugged him.
“I’m sorry, little bro…! I went too far, huh? Won’t do it again!”
He was flustered.
He’d planned to apologize first.
Glancing at Undine, she clutched her head.
[That’s her contractor…?]
Enoch rolled his eyes and met Lione’s teary gaze.
He’d braced for a scolding upon return.
This made him truly sorry, freezing him in place.
“…Sorry. Won’t do it again.”
Enoch hugged her back.
Squeeze—the light pressure drew a squeak from Lione.
“Ah…! Enoch…!”
How could a kid be so cute, sweet, filial, and adorable…!
Historians would surely record it later.
The unparalleled filial son raised under one elf stood there!
“No, it’s my fault! I won’t snap like that again…!”
“No, I started it.”
Hugging Lione, swaying like waterweed, Enoch still held out the box.
“…W-What’s this?”
“Gift. Wasn’t originally for this, but….”
Lione took the box with trembling hands.
A neatly made wooden box.
She unlatched it, slowly lifting the lid—her eyes quivered.
“E-Enoch….”
Tears streamed down Lione’s face.
Suppressing the urge to shout it from the rooftops, she met Enoch’s eyes.
“It’s nothing special….”
His shy averted gaze was unbearably lovable.
Everyone…! Look at this…! Our Enoch’s so cute…!
Lione stood on shaking legs—like a junkie resisting temptation—and gazed at the sky.
No regrets now, even in death.
She’d achieved it all.
Undine’s water slap snapped the elf—about to ascend—back to reality.
Splash—!
[Snap out of it, you idiot!]
“Heh, hehe….”
[Eek…!]
Undine fled in panic.
Lione, lips slack in bliss, dove straight into Enoch’s arms without fixing her face.
“Enoch, want Lione to read you a book? It’s been a while.”
She’d clearly lost it.
[You bitch…! What’d you see while I was gone…!]
The spirit couldn’t hold back the curse.