The Future She Saw
After giving Gahyeon a suitably vague explanation, I took Gyeowool with me and got into the company car. Considering how precarious she looked, I wanted to let her rest properly for a day… no, three days, but since we were in the middle of filming the important Girl 100, I had no choice but to take her back to the dorm. I’m sorry for being such a useless adult, Gyeowool. Still, that didn’t mean I intended to ignore her or refuse to help with her worries. So I asked her.
“So, why did you come here?”
“…”
“I’m not trying to scold you. I know what kind of kid you are. Do you really think I’d get mad over something like this?”
Running away from Girl 100 wasn’t exactly something that could be brushed off as “something like this,” but I said it anyway.
“I was worried. And since you came to me instead of someone else, I thought maybe there was something I could do to help.”
“…”
“So tell me. I can’t promise I’ll clean everything up perfectly, but I’ve managed to fix things somehow every time, haven’t I? I’ll do what I can this time too. If it’s something that’s been troubling you.”
Gyeowool, who had been staring at the floor, lifted her head slightly and glanced at me before speaking.
“…Even I think it sounds ridiculous. It’s absurd and doesn’t make any sense.”
“If you don’t tell me, I can’t help you. I want to help you, Gyeowool.”
Just say it, Gyeowool. Even if it involves a crime, I need to know first so I can handle it. Some irresponsible people think that if they don’t say anything, the problem will just disappear, but that’s not true. It’ll just explode later when it’s too late to deal with. Still, I hoped it wasn’t assault, fraud, theft, murder, pregnancy, bullying, drugs, a cult, drunk driving, or hate speech. …Now that I thought about it, there were a lot of things that weren’t okay. Please, Gyeowool, I hoped whatever trouble she’d gotten into was as passive as her usual self.
“You’ll think it’s a joke. Even if you don’t, you’ll be disappointed because it’s nothing important. You might even get angry that I caused all this trouble over something so small. …I’m sorry.”
“I won’t be disappointed. And I won’t get angry either.”
Actually, that was a relief. It meant it wasn’t as big a disaster as I’d feared.
“Ah, I might get a little angry… maybe a lot. If someone’s malice is what drove you to this point, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay calm.”
If anyone messed with our pushover, I’d just have to break their legs.
Gyeowool stared at me blankly for a moment, then said, “I had a dream. Or rather, it felt like I saw the future.”
You saw the future too? After Summer, now we’ve got another regressor? …But why did this feel so normal already? No. Calm down. Gyeowool might just be mistaken.
“What kind of future did you see?”
“…You actually believe me?”
“I’ve always believed in you. From the very first moment I saw you.”
“…”
Gyeowool lowered her head again, avoiding my eyes. “…Thank you.”
Her voice was thick with tears. I gently patted her back. After some time, Gyeowool regained her composure and spoke.
“It was a future where you never took me out of SS.”
…Why would you see something like that?
“I debuted as a member of Alcest in SS. …And just like you know, I was being bullied. Even after a long time had passed since my official debut.”
What Gyeowool had seen seemed similar to the scene I’d witnessed through Future Fragment before. I didn’t doubt her words. If someone like me could benefit from the Management System, and if Cheon A-ram could distinguish people’s true natures by scent, then why couldn’t someone see the future? But the sudden reason Gyeowool had gained this ability puzzled me. …This felt like it was connected to me somehow. Rather than her suddenly awakening the power, it was far more likely she’d been influenced by me. Just like with Summer. Ah, was it that? Before negotiating with Kim Seonye today, I’d used Possibility Memory, and the message had said it was used on an appropriate target.
Possibility Memory has been used on an appropriate target.
If Gyeowool had seen that memory and come running to me in shock, it would make sense. But then, what exactly made the target “appropriate” that it showed her the future? I needed to find out what she had seen first.
“Can you tell me the details?”
“Yes. I’ll tell you everything.”
Gyeowool began her long story.
“…After hearing that news, my memories became hazy. I was just walking down the street when I found myself at a funeral hall, and there I saw your portrait.”
Gyeowool’s story was quite shocking. I had thought she’d seen the same scene I witnessed through Future Fragment, but listening to her now, it felt like she had seen a much longer and more detailed future. More precisely, it seemed less like she had received information and more like she had shared emotions. …So if I hadn’t taken Gyeowool out back then, I would’ve died? I wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or horrified. It was a strangely unsettling feeling. …Come to think of it, why show something like that to Gyeowool and make her so anxious? If it had just been used on me quietly, none of this would’ve happened. …This was annoying. From now on, no matter how good the reward looked, I was going to completely ignore any quest that offered Possibility Memory. It seemed like that bastard Jotaechang had gotten too full from me completing every single quest. It was time to remember my early days when my completion rate was nearing 7%. Time to restore some discipline. Hey, Jotaechang.
While I was lost in thought, Gyeowool clutched both her shoulders with her hands, curled up, and muttered while trembling, “When I saw that photo, something inside me felt like it was collapsing, and I just kept screaming. I was scared. I was terrified. I hated it. I was lonely. And I hated myself for being so stupid that all I could do was scream helplessly…”
“That’s enough.”
I understood clearly that she was in an unstable state of mind. It was only natural after seeing someone she’d built such a close friendship with suddenly die. …Still, I couldn’t bear to listen anymore. I brought up the topic I had never once mentioned in front of her.
“Gyeowool, do you like yourself?”
Gyeowool had extremely low self-esteem. I believed it was because of Yeji’s influence. It was also because of the impact from her parents and grandfather, who hadn’t taught her how to form proper interpersonal relationships in her childhood. That was why Gyeowool chose to embrace the idea that she couldn’t help it. But thinking about the days she would have to endure from now on, that couldn’t continue. So I voiced the question I had been pretending not to notice out of consideration.
Gyeowool looked at me with trembling eyes and spoke firmly and coldly. “…No. I don’t like myself.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m stupid, I have no tact, I can’t even approach people properly…, I’m passive! I’m a coward! I’m pathetic…!”
“I like you.”
“…What?”
Gyeowool looked at me in surprise. Her pale face began to flush with warmth. I fixed her disheveled hair and spoke more firmly than ever.
“You could hate yourself. Because you’re such a kind person that instead of hating others, you choose to hate yourself. …Still, I want you to know that you’re someone truly lovable.”
I believed she had the talent to become the greatest idol. And an idol’s talent was the talent to be loved. I had to tell her that.
“You might feel anxious. You might have doubts. So it might become incredibly difficult for you to like yourself.”
“…I already don’t like myself. In fact, I hate the person named Han Gyeowool.”
“Then I’ll like you that much more. I’ll always be your supporter, no matter what.”
“…”
If Gyeowool couldn’t like herself, then I would like her enough for the both of us. Steadfastly and unchangingly, so she would never need to deny herself again.
“Love yourself. You deserve it, Gyeowool.”
Tears began to well up in Gyeowool’s eyes. “…What if you disappear?”
Soon, two streams of tears flowed down. “What am I supposed to do if you disappear like in that future?”
“I won’t disappear like that. Ever.”
“No one can guarantee that!”
“I can.”
“How?”
“Because I’ve seen the future too!”
“…”
After a long silence, Gyeowool wiped away her flowing tears with her hands and asked me, “What kind of future was it?”
The future I had seen was one where some sucker got hit in the back of the head. Or one where a tender-hearted child regretted becoming an idol. But that wasn’t what I should say right now. So instead, I told her, “It was a future where you become happy.”
“…”
Gyeowool opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, unable to answer, then spoke with a tearful expression. “Even a child wouldn’t believe something like that.”
“Then believe it when that moment of happiness comes.”
Because I would make sure it happened. Gyeowool looked at me, who was gazing at her unwaveringly, and answered. “…Then I’ll believe it now.”
Two more streams of tears flowed down her cheeks, now flushed like ripe persimmons. Through those tears, she smiled like spring and said, “Because I’m already happy right now.”
***
I drove with the determination to get Gyeowool back to the Girl 100 filming site before the official recording started—that is, before the wake-up bell rang. Then Gyeowool, who had been sleeping in the passenger seat, woke up and spoke to me.
“Taeyang.”
“Yeah? Do you have something to say?”
The sun, hidden behind the buildings in the dark blue sky, lifted its head and shone brilliantly upon Gyeowool and me.
“Thank you for being in my life.”
The cold dawn had ended, and morning was beginning.