I Hope You Don't See Me as a Child
"I thought I couldn't fall. I believed that the moment I fell even once, everything would come crashing down."
Ga-eul continued her confession to Gyeoul.
"There was no one there for me. There were only burdens I had to carry."
Her burden.
"So I tried my best to just give up and become numb to it all. That way, it hurt a little less."
Her weakness.
"To someone like me, there was a person who said it was okay not to give up, that it was okay to fall."
And the one person who changed her like that.
"Of course, I didn't believe it. I was confident in my maturity. I thought such dreamlike stories were nothing but deception. But he showed me that my doubts were merely the product of a narrow mind."
"Is that Teacher Taeyang?"
Ga-eul spoke with a touch of shyness.
"Yes, that's Taeyang oppa."
The words flowed like a melody, evoking poetry.
"Taeyang oppa always becomes a dependable adult for me. And he treats me like a child. Just thinking about Taeyang oppa like that makes a smile unconsciously spread across my face. It's incredibly sweet and warm. ...But I find myself harboring a greedy heart that feels even that isn't enough."
It was a pure sincerity she had never revealed to anyone before.
"I hope you don't see me as a child."
The child who had been forced to act like an adult now wanted to become an adult again. For an entirely different reason than before.
"I hope we run into each other more, whether by chance or even if it's forced. I want to know everything—what he's thinking, what he likes. And I hope Taeyang oppa thinks of me that way too."
Looking at Ga-eul like that, Gyeoul thought, 'Ga-eul unnie really is a lovable person.'
Her pure, youthful, and warm appearance was also overwhelmingly lovable.
But it wasn't just her appearance that was lovable. The devotion of thinking of others before herself. The energy of smiling even in difficult and painful moments and spreading that smile. The attitude of always considering and being considerate of the other person. That was the real reason Ga-eul was lovable.
'Teacher Taeyang is also really cool and really, really reliable.'
Gyeoul imagined Taeyang and Ga-eul as lovers. The image she pictured suited them perfectly. In her opinion, it was on a level she couldn't even compare herself to.
Gyeoul's chest throbbed and ached again. The tip of her nose stung, her eyes felt hot, and the corners of her eyes grew moist.
She carefully suppressed those signs and opened her mouth.
"...I'll help with your feelings, Ga-eul unnie."
As calmly and nonchalantly as possible. As if it were the obvious thing to do.
Ga-eul was startled by Gyeoul's words.
"No, Gyeoul! The reason I told you this wasn't because I wanted something like that...."
"It will help. The difference between having one of the members on your side or not is huge. ...And I've always wanted to try being a Cupid at least once!"
Ga-eul's eyes met Gyeoul's. Unlike her usual habit of avoiding eye contact, Gyeoul didn't look away this time. She stared back straight and determinedly.
Ga-eul spoke with trembling eyes.
"Are you sure it's okay? You, Gyeoul..."
Gyeoul hurriedly cut off Ga-eul's next words.
"Yes, of course it's okay! That's what I want."
Gyeoul wished for the two people she liked to be happy. And she wanted to stay by their side, even if only as a friend or colleague. Even if that was all it was, Gyeoul wanted to remain next to Taeyang.
Bubble Shower was a girl group. They had been the promising act of Dreams Entertainment, an agency known for producing fairly successful singers and idols. Despite the company's aggressive push, the group posted disappointing results.
The agency didn't pin the failure entirely on the members. After an internal assessment that the concept and planning had failed, they decided to give Bubble Shower one more chance. They poured even more money into promotion than before.
But the group blew that opportunity too. Two failures. Members getting older. Eventually, Dreams Entertainment reached the tentative conclusion that they were a lost cause. This led to passive investment from the agency, and to recoup whatever money they could, the only schedules they took were paid events. It was the typical fate of a failed girl group.
It seemed obvious they would slowly sink and vanish, just like the countless senior girl groups before them who had flared up briefly and then disappeared.
At least until Yoon Haneul, one of the members, began drawing positive attention in online communities for her consistent volunteer work.
The incident ignited when a corruption scandal involving special privileges for a third-generation chaebol exploded. Once the suspicion that the second grandson of Jin Kang Group had evaded military service became an established fact, the flames spread across the entire chaebol family. The resulting backlash swallowed up the third granddaughter, who had once been attacked by public opinion over childhood doping allegations.
Reporters hunted for the third granddaughter—the original source of "special privilege corruption" stories—for sensational headlines. It didn't take long for them to discover she was doing volunteer work at an orphanage.
The news, released alongside photos that made her volunteer work look performative, drew cold criticism from the public. The claim that she had been doing volunteer activities for self-reflection after the controversy failed to rise above accusations of political theater and empty gestures.
After the reporters finished digging, the third granddaughter's reappearance in the media amounted to nothing more than fleeting gossip fodder.
But the story took a strange turn. Among the photos the reporter had taken of the granddaughter volunteering, Yoon Haneul's beauty as she worked quietly in the corner became a massive topic in online communities.
Yoon Haneul, who set the internet ablaze under the nickname "Volunteer Girl," was revealed to have been doing volunteer work at various orphanages for years. She was contrasted sharply with the chaebol granddaughter whose efforts had been dismissed as performative.
That sensational comparison spread beyond communities to SNS as memes with titles like "Voluntary vs. Forced."
The final blow came when it was belatedly revealed that she was an active girl group member.
By then she had already built up a broadly favorable public image. People began unearthing Bubble Shower's old albums and music videos under titles like "The True Identity of Volunteer Girl."
Buried clips of the group's past activities flooded the internet. Heartwarming stories emerged about how Bubble Shower had given their all and provided thorough fan service even at small, shabby venues.
And so Bubble Shower successfully ascended to national sweetheart status.
The result was their insane reverse charting success.
...It was so fucking enviable.
But now that I had regressed, I didn't need to be envious anymore. I remembered exactly which orphanage it was.
If I brought a little diligence to the table, I could snatch the reverse-run opportunity that was supposed to belong to Bubble Shower.
Of course, to seize this chance I needed to start making an impression right away. The catalyst for their reversal had been Yoon Haneul's sincere, long-term volunteer work. That was why I had to prepare from now on.
I caught Ga-eul and Gyeoul as they finished their tough training and were heading back to the dorm.
"I have some bad news."
Gyeoul jumped in surprise.
"What? What is it?"
"We're pulling an all-nighter together."
"With you, Teacher Taeyang?"
"Yeah. With me."
When Gyeoul seemed to hesitate, I steeled myself and added, "I'll buy you something delicious. Just for today, I'll allow greasy food."
Let's give the diet control a one-day break.
Hearing my words, Gyeoul muttered under her breath.
"...Sounds fun."
Her voice was so small I couldn't quite catch it. I glanced at Ga-eul to see if she had heard, but she was smiling brightly at me like a countryside puppy greeting its owner.
With an excited look, Ga-eul said, "Will it take long? If I get to look at Taeyang oppa for a long time, I'd like that."
She seemed worried about the overtime, yet she could still smile and speak so cheerfully. That was one of Ga-eul's best qualities.
Don't worry, Ga-eul. I'll make sure you get your rest.
"It's fine. There's no need for both of you to go. One person is enough."
Since Yoon Haneul had personally driven the reverse-run through her own efforts, splitting focus by bringing both of them might create unnecessary variables. There was no reason to drag both Gyeoul and Ga-eul along and take on extra risk. Besides, it felt wrong to make a kid who had trained hard all day do volunteer work on top of it.
"...."
Ga-eul didn't react to my words. She seemed rendered speechless by my thoughtful consideration.
Gyeoul was watching the silent Ga-eul with obvious concern.
Why is she acting like this again?
"...Um, Teacher Taeyang, how about sending Ga-eul unnie instead of me?"
"Why? Are you busy?"
"...Yes, I think I'm a little busy."
Busy my ass. I know you just play games and watch anime at the dorm. Where do you think you're escaping to?
"Yeah, I'm taking you."
A chill suddenly ran down my spine. Even in the enclosed space, it felt like cold wind was blowing. Ga-eul stood at the center of that frigid air.
"...Ga-eul?"
With a stiff expression, Ga-eul said, "I want to do it too. ...Overtime with Taeyang oppa."
"...Huh?"
Had I misheard? She wanted to do overtime?
Had Ga-eul lost her mind? How could a person say something like that?
Gyeoul must have been terrified by the shocking statement too; her body was trembling. Seeing her like that oddly helped me calm down. I analyzed it logically.
A normal person would never say they wanted to work overtime. Therefore, Ga-eul was not in a normal state. When a human wasn't normal, it meant they were sick. Ga-eul was ill!
"Ga-eul! Are you okay?"
Having reached my conclusion, I immediately approached her, gently grabbed her shoulder, and pressed the back of my hand to her forehead to check her temperature.
"...Eh? ...Y-yes!"
Just as I suspected, her forehead was burning hot. Her face was flushed so red it was almost alarming.
"Oh no, you really do have a fever."
No wonder she couldn't think straight.
"No, that's... you're too close...."
Ga-eul staggered as if dizzy. I reflexively pulled her into my arms before she could fall and held her steady.
"Eek!"
She had seemed fine during training, but it looked like she had actually been pushing herself to the point where she could barely control her own body. Working hard was good, but I hadn't wanted her to drive herself into the ground.
I wanted her to rest properly.
"Ga-eul. Your condition looks really bad. Let's have you rest today."
"B-but... I still want to go...."
From a distance where our noses nearly touched, I looked into Ga-eul's golden eyes and said, "I'm asking you as a favor, Ga-eul. I don't want to see you in pain."
"...Okay."
Ga-eul's face was dreamy, as if she were drugged. Her cold seemed quite severe. Even so, she nodded vigorously, as though she understood my worried heart.
Feeling relieved, I supported her toward the dorm. It felt genuinely fulfilling to be able to help her like this.
When I glanced sideways, Gyeoul was staring at me with ice-cold eyes. The look was reminiscent of the delinquent mode she'd been in when we first met—like she was gazing at trash.
...What did I do wrong?