Let's Live Together
Cheon A-ram asked with an expression that seemed to convey pure curiosity rather than condemnation. “How long have you been awake?”
I glanced at Gaeul. Even though she was sprawled on the floor, her face had gone deathly pale as she stared only at my mouth. It felt awkward to tell the truth in front of a child like that. Fine. Let’s pretend Gaeul’s little stunt never happened. “I was half-awake when I heard the loud crash and felt the bed shake. Right after that I was still groggy, so I couldn’t open my eyes or get up.”
Gaeul let out a visible sigh of relief, clutching her chest. Anyone could see how suspicious she looked. …Did she really think she could hide it, Gaeul?
“But once I was fully awake, the conversation had already turned serious, and I didn’t want to ruin the mood. So I ended up startling everyone. I’m sorry if that made things uncomfortable.”
Cheon A-ram shook her head slightly. “…No, there’s nothing for Team Leader Seon to apologize for. I was just surprised because you slipped into the conversation at the perfect moment.”
“If it’s all right, I’d like to continue where we left off.”
Cheon A-ram nodded in permission. I continued, relieved. “Suyeon-ssi. Gaeul is still just a kid. Right now she should be allowed to do whatever she wants.”
Seo Suyeon gathered the documents she had thrown aside. “I’d like to know the context behind Team Leader Seon’s words.”
I looked at Gaeul. She was now sitting primly, as if she had never fallen in the first place. The sight was so endearing that I smiled and said, “It means it’s okay for a child to be a little selfish. To choose both options, for example.”
Seo Suyeon shook her head. “Legally she may be considered a minor, but we signed the contract with Yoo Gaeul-ssi under the judgment that she possesses sufficient decision-making capacity as an adult. I believe Team Leader Seon agrees with that assessment.”
“If we’re talking about the moment she decided to become an idol and signed the contract, then yes, you’re right. But this situation right now isn’t the result of Gaeul’s own choices.”
Her father’s gambling and domestic violence. Gahyeon left alone. How could any of that be called Gaeul’s choice?
“Isn’t it cruel to treat the gradual loss of every happiness Gaeul wanted as the outcome of her own decisions?”
Suyeon. You think the same way, don’t you? We’re both people President Cheon chose, after all.
“Since you were also personally selected by the president, don’t you agree with this line of thinking?”
Seo Suyeon nodded slightly. “If I had the capacity, I would rather spend it on the president or others than on myself. …But that doesn’t mean I intend to take responsibility for everyone’s lives. I distinguish between what I can and cannot do, and between what I should and should not do.”
She met my eyes. “Therefore, Gaeul-ssi must take responsibility. This is her matter, not anyone else’s.”
I met her gaze in return. “Taking that responsibility in her place is what adults are supposed to do.”
A sharp tension filled the air. In the heated atmosphere, I spoke to Gaeul. “Gaeul-ah, if you don’t want to send Gahyeon to an orphanage, how about entrusting her to a reliable household instead?”
Gaeul answered in a deflated voice. “…I don’t know if you heard, but I don’t have anywhere like that.”
I shook my head. “There is one. I’m not sure if you’ll think it’s reliable, though.”
“…Where is it?”
“My place.”
Silence fell for a moment. In the quiet, Gaeul asked again as if she hadn’t heard correctly. “…Your house, Taeyang oppa?”
“Yeah. I think we could handle the foster care at my house. As long as you and Gahyeon agree.”
“….”
Gaeul looked bewildered by the unexpected offer. Of course she would. So I explained what she stood to gain from accepting it. “I won’t be able to devote all my time to Gahyeon because of work, but whatever time I have left, I’ll use it to make sure she can paint without any obstacles.”
So she could pursue her dreams without difficulty. “I’ll tell you everything about Gahyeon’s day so you won’t have to worry—what she’s thinking about, what she wants to do, what she wants to have. I’ll avoid anything too private, of course….”
So neither of you would misunderstand each other’s feelings. “It won’t just be words. I’ll do my best to make sure you can see Gahyeon often. If there’s ever a moment you want to go out for a meal, I’ll try to arrange it so you can do it together.”
So distance wouldn’t create distance in your hearts as well. “Considering how much you dislike the idea of an orphanage, I’m guessing you’re worried the staff there would only treat Gahyeon as part of their job…. I’ll face Gahyeon properly. Not as someone I’m merely responsible for, but as one human being to another, as an adult.”
So it would feel like a relationship between people, not a transaction. That’s how I would take care of Gahyeon. “Can you trust me?”
I spoke with the utmost seriousness so the weight of my resolve would be clear. Gaeul looked at me and asked, “…Would that really be okay?”
Her voice was so fragile it sounded like it might crumble. Hoping to reassure her, I answered as gently as I could. “Yeah. Of course it would.”
Tears welled up in Gaeul’s eyes again. She really had been crying a lot lately. After clearing her throat and swallowing the moisture in her throat, she opened her mouth. “Then I….”
The moment Gaeul nodded and began to speak, Cheon A-ram cut in with a firm voice. “No, Team Leader Seon. That is not okay at all.”
“…Excuse me?”
Wait, why? The mood had been heading toward Gaeul giving her okay just now. If we left it alone, everything would have been resolved. Why interfere right at this moment? Feeling bewildered, I still tried to explain. “This isn’t something that uses company funds. It’s something I can handle entirely on my own.”
Cheon A-ram looked at me with a troubled expression, as if she didn’t know what to do with this. “That’s exactly why it’s not okay.”
“What?”
“Right now, Team Leader Seon isn’t acting as Toobear’s team leader. You’re moving as the human Seon Taeyang.”
Only then did I fully understand the meaning behind the look Cheon A-ram was giving me. It was deep concern. “I could understand what happened during the busking if I tried. Recruiting Gaeul would benefit the company, and that benefit would also affect Team Leader Seon’s success.”
Cheon A-ram added quietly, “Even then, the sacrifice seemed excessive,” then continued. “But this is different, isn’t it? No matter how you calculate the gains and losses, this isn’t a sacrifice that can be exchanged for that kind of success.”
From a business perspective, she only needed to reap the benefits of my choice. But she wasn’t doing that. “Taking responsibility for and raising a child is never a light matter. That task will make Team Leader Seon lose something far greater than any bonus salary the company could offer.”
Cheon A-ram spoke with concern that didn’t suit a businesswoman. “Remember this. Team Leader Seon is a salaried employee. Not a volunteer or an idealist.”
“…Is that something a president should be saying?”
“It’s the right thing to say. Just not something that should come from a president’s mouth. But if I leave Team Leader Seon alone, you’ll push yourself until you collapse. …Just like now.”
Lying in a hospital bed while hearing those words made it hard to argue back. “Make value judgments. And do work that matches your salary.”
“….”
Honestly, Cheon A-ram was right. The action I was taking now was a loss from any perspective when value was properly judged. If my only goal was to recruit Gaeul, I didn’t need to go this far. Simply changing Gaeul’s mind would have been enough. Given the trust Gaeul had shown me, that wouldn’t have been difficult. ‘Trust me and send Gahyeon to the orphanage. I’ll take care of her myself.’ If I said only that much, Gaeul would agree. I was confident I had built enough credibility for that level of persuasion. So the only thing my current choice would bring me was one thing. Gaeul’s happiness. Nothing more than one person’s invisible heart. But that one thing felt more important than anything else today.
“….”
When I was young, I had held onto hope. I wished that some adult, that fantastical existence, would extend a helping hand to my older sister, who had to drop out of high school and start working early, and to me, who was too weak to do anything but dream. Of course, that dream never came true. But I can make that dream come true for someone else. I knew this was nothing more than projecting my own unfortunate childhood onto Gaeul and Gahyeon. That it wouldn’t go beyond cheap self-satisfaction. Even while fully aware of all that, I still said it. “I already promised. I promised I would be Gaeul’s strength.”
“….”
After a long silence, Cheon A-ram scratched her head lightly and asked, “…Team Leader Seon. I didn’t want to ask this question again, but it’s hard to hold back my curiosity. I’ll only ask one more time.”
She asked as if she truly couldn’t understand. “Why are you going this far?”
Why was I making this choice? Before regressing, I had acted like a pushover because I wanted to be a good person. I didn’t think that way anymore. I had learned all too painfully that it was a foolish and worthless thing to do. So why was I doing this again? …Honestly, I didn’t know either. “President. Do you remember what you said when you first came to scout me?”
Cheon A-ram gave a faint smile, as if that recent event already felt like something from long ago. “Of course I remember.”
“You said you wanted to recruit me because I was the humanist you were looking for.”
“Yes. I did say that.”
“Then please accept it. This is who I am.”
“….”
Ah, what could I do about being made this way? She shouldn’t have recruited me if it bothered her. Seeing me like that, Cheon A-ram let out a small laugh. Then she spoke plainly. “As I said before, I want to have a long-lasting relationship with Team Leader Seon. I know all too well how rare people like you are.”
Even I thought there weren’t many humans like me. “But Team Leader Seon, if you keep living like this, someday you’ll push yourself too far and break. …And if that happens, I’ll be very disappointed.”
It was one of the highest compliments a superior could give a subordinate. Grateful for that sentiment, I bowed my head and spoke politely. “I’ll only be like this until today. Starting tomorrow, I’ll be different.”
Cheon A-ram sighed. “…You do know that’s the kind of thing a smoker who failed to quit always says, right?”
That wasn’t the reaction I had expected. I glanced around furtively. Both Gaeul and Seo Suyeon were nodding. They both seemed to have the same impression of my words. I offered a timid rebuttal. “Wouldn’t this be easier than quitting smoking?”
““….””
…Or maybe not.