Chapter 365
Chapter 365
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 365
Chapter Title: So Fucking Weak
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"You're fucking weak."
With a snicker, Raniel covered her mouth and chuckled. Blood squirted from her body with each laugh, but she kept going as if she couldn't care less.
She'd done it. She'd finally pulled it off.
She'd seized that faint sliver of possibility and achieved the impossible, the feat everyone had screamed couldn't be done. The tragedy her future self had endured would never happen again, and no one would ever call Kyle a disaster.
'It was tough.'
She'd come within a hair's breadth of death over and over.
'Even so...'
She'd really done it.
Not the worst outcome. Not even the lesser evil to dodge the absolute worst. Not some conclusion she'd gritted her teeth over, barely stomaching it with a 'this'll do'... but the absolute best, one she could embrace with laughter.
And Raniel had seized it with her own two hands.
"I beat you. Smoked you."
The fact filled her with joy. Pure, unadulterated happiness.
Raniel's laughter didn't stop.
Glaring at her laugh, Kyle felt a mix of awkwardness and nostalgia. Raniel van Trias. The Sage had never laughed like that.
Sneers, self-mockery, light chuckles.
The Sage had lived on fake smiles like those. Unable to laugh genuinely behind the mask. But the Raniel before him now was laughing from the heart. Just like the Raniel before she'd become the Sage.
"...You're insane."
Kyle muttered with a smile.
The first words out of his mouth in a situation like this, and they were that. In a way, it was so very Raniel.
"What'd you say?"
"Called you insane."
"So you got smoked by an insane person?"
"...Do we have to be that childish about it?"
"What's childish about victory?"
Yeah, that's how she'd play it.
Kyle let out a short breath and relaxed his shoulders.
"If we're splitting hairs, it's me with 3 wins, you with 1. 1-3, right?"
"...What?"
"That time you grabbed my collar. Then again at Delorhim's main church when we reunited. And once more up north."
Kyle grinned mischievously.
"Pretty sure I won all three."
"Hey, those were half-assed fights. Some didn't even have a clear winner..."
"How much mercy did I show? If I'd swung for real, you'd have been done in one hit."
"I showed you plenty too, you know? I only lost because..."
"You clearly said you just lost."
Raniel flinched and shut her mouth.
Kyle shrugged and continued.
"Hey, three straight losses, then finally one win? That's worth celebrating. That first win after a streak tastes sweet. I get it."
"You... you..."
Kyle burst out laughing at Raniel's trembling. It felt like they were kids again. He let her protests go in one ear and out the other.
Unbelievable.
'Childish as ever...'
Nothing had changed. Exactly the same.
As he glared back at Raniel flailing her broken arm and pointing fingers, Kyle's expression hardened slightly. His gaze fixed on her chest.
'...Dried bloodstains.'
A stab wound right over her heart. And a long gash dug into her shoulder. None were light injuries. Any could have been fatal.
"Hey, Raniel."
Kyle's voice came out a bit stiff.
"You okay?"
"What?"
"Your wounds. The wounds."
"Oh, these?"
Raniel shrugged.
"I'm fine. Told you, you're weak. This is barely a scratch."
She winced with a grunt mid-shrug. Pure bravado, of course. Kyle could see right through it.
"Was I..."
Kyle asked.
"Was I strong?"
Tempted to bluff again, Raniel instead gave a bitter smile and leaned against the wall.
"If you were weak, would I have suffered like this?"
She sighed in reply.
"You were tough. Fucking tough. Nearly died a bunch of times. Pretty sure I actually died once."
"...Yeah?"
"Growing that strong even in that state? Gave me chills. I was moving faster, but your eyes kept tracking me, catching up no matter what."
Raniel shuddered.
"Top-tier spells barely fazed you, ripping your arm didn't stop the regen, snapping your neck just made it reattach, your sword ignored distance and sliced through space itself..."
...Snapped my neck?
Kyle absently touched his throat.
His skin felt oddly rough.
"And at the end, reading my mana flow and cleaving the spell apart... Damn, thinking back, it's insane. How the hell did I win?"
Even she seemed baffled, letting out a hollow laugh. Then, looking at Kyle, she muttered.
"You're one hell of a guy."
"...Hell of a guy?"
"You beat the Demon King, right? Saw that sword stroke you left in the wasteland. How'd you even do that?"
How'd I do it?
It was a long, long story.
"Dunno..."
A very long story.
Instead of reciting his journey and bragging about his efforts, Kyle said simply.
"Just did it, and it worked."
Like Raniel.
"Kinda happened."
Mimicking her speech patterns, Kyle put on the most infuriatingly carefree expression he could muster.
"...Kinda happened?"
It hit the mark perfectly.
Raniel shot him a sour glare, like he was the most obnoxious prick alive. Kyle couldn't hold back his laugh.
"How's it feel? You used to pull that shit all the time."
"What bullshit? I never..."
Pricked by her conscience, she trailed off, unable to deny it outright. Still, she pressed on in a small voice.
"...Not that often."
"I've heard it over a hundred times."
"......"
Having shut her down, Kyle let out a short breath. Just do it, and it works. Do it, and you're the guy who makes it happen. He tossed it out lightly now, like her catchphrase... but there'd been far more times he couldn't.
You're the guy who does it if he just does it.
Why won't you just do it?
Get up. Get up, I said.
Those words had once been a curse binding him. Only now, having overcome it all, could Kyle say it with a smile.
"You were right, after all."
"...About what?"
"That 'just do it' stuff. That you're the guy who makes it happen if he tries. It really was like that."
Kyle grinned.
"I really cut down the Demon King."
He said it laughing.
"Sliced the Demon King. Copied that strike I saw in my dream. Honestly, isn't that bar story material for life?"
"...Bragging about that?"
"Didn't know? I love bragging. Heroes don't strut around boasting, so I held back."
But, Kyle added.
"I'm not a hero anymore."
He no longer felt the starlight.
His heart still pulsed with it, but it wasn't his to command. It was all going toward healing his body.
"So, anyway."
"Yeah."
"Bit late, but..."
Kyle asked.
"What happens to me now?"
"What happens? You live as a human."
Raniel said flatly.
"Thank Sara. That seed she planted is basically why you're alive."
"...What about Sara?"
"Unconscious for now. She'll wake when you're fully healed. Memories might be spotty, but... she'll manage, right?"
The thing sprouting in Kyle's heart.
It was Sara's soul, her wish incarnate. When it fully sprouted, Cardy and the Goddess of Ashes predicted change for Sara too.
"Then where's the starlight going? The starlight I passed to you..."
"Passed damn near all of it to you, leaving just a handful. Who asks for that shit? Always doing pointless crap."
Raniel grumbled.
"Doesn't make you a hero, though. That starlight's fertilizer for the seed. Basically the price for the miracle."
"...Price for a miracle."
Kyle gave a bitter smile.
It was miraculous, no doubt.
Turning himself from a disaster back to human was astounding enough, but his severed path was being remade. Effectively resurrected.
What caused that miracle?
Thump, thump.
The seed rooted in his heart.
Listening close to his pounding heart... he felt the seed sprouting inside. Growing on starlight as fuel.
'Regeneration.'
The pure white light leaking from the seed slowly mended Kyle's body. Holding his crumbling flesh together. Gauging the pace, Kyle murmured.
"Gonna take a while."
"Probably."
"Kinda sleepy too."
"...Yeah, that too."
Raniel smiled bitterly.
"Once the seed really takes root, your consciousness will fade. You'll fall into a deep sleep."
"Huh."
"Not surprised?"
"Died and came back. This is nothing."
Kyle shrugged.
Raniel glared at him, then slowly, very slowly, spoke.
"Hey, Kyle."
"Yeah."
"You get the gist? No more questions?"
"Plenty I wanna ask, but... yeah, I think I get it."
"Then."
Raniel sighed.
"How about we hear that thing you promised last time?"
"...That?"
"Don't tell me you forgot. What I said up north. If you don't remember, I'll beat it out of you. Answer well."
What she'd said up north.
Kyle let out a short "Ah."
Once I've paid all my debts to you.
Once I can stand before you with my head high.
Then, I'll apologize to you.
Recalling it, Kyle smiled.
He wasn't sure about the debts, but at least now he could face Raniel proudly. So now, he could say it.
"Sorry, Raniel."
Kyle opened his mouth and said it.
How much time had it taken to reach this point? How much effort?
"Really, truly sorry."
Kyle said it, then winced at the sharp pain in his side. Like a punch to the ribs. But Raniel's left arm hung limp, her right broken. So what hit him?
Her foot.
With her one good leg, Raniel jabbed his side repeatedly, no mercy for the patient. Glaring, she said.
"For real."
Grinding her teeth.
"You owe me an apology, you bastard."
She looked genuinely pissed.
2.
"You know you're in the wrong, right?"
"...Yeah, I know."
"What? Spit it out if you know."
Jabbed relentlessly in the side, Kyle groaned.
"Quitting on my own. Dragging you in, then bailing first. Not fulfilling my hero duties."
"Not that, fucker."
"The tent..."
"That's... fuck, so much to say about that, but not it. Don't mention it."
"Then..."
They pieced it together like a puzzle, and only when his side was about to buckle did Kyle hit the mark.
"Passing the starlight to you without asking."
"Yeah, that."
Raniel finally stopped kicking.
"Who asked for the starlight? Who begged you to save me?"
"...You lost half your life because of me. Figured I'd pay that debt."
"Why because of you? I was running from the Demon King. If I hadn't shaved my lifespan, I'd have died then anyway."
"If it hadn't been for me in the first place..."
"We'd argue that forever."
Raniel sighed.
"You know my personality. Think I'd live normally after you went that far to keep me alive?"
"......"
"You met her, right? Future me."
"...Yeah."
"Then you know what happened to me."
Raniel, unable to escape sacrifice.
The Sage, bound by obsession.
If she'd survived on "an old friend's death," that life wouldn't have been normal.
"And becoming a disaster on top. You've always acted first without thinking ahead. How many times have I told you to fix that habit?"
"...No defense."
"Exactly. You shouldn't have one."
Raniel sighed.
"So, feel sorry now? Regret it at all?"
"...Yeah. That's why we're here."
"Good."
Leaning her head against the wall, she said.
"No more sacrifices. Value your life. You've got a girlfriend, act responsible, fuck."
Plenty more to say, but she let it drop, no more pushing.
"That's enough venting."
Her tone softened as she continued.
"Thanks. For saving me."
"......"
"Whatever the method, I'm alive because of you. So thanks. Honestly, I was scared."
"...Scared?"
"Dude, death creeping up slow? Terrifying. Can't even move right, and you know exactly how much time's left. Down to seconds."
"...Awful."
"Right?"
So that's why thanks. For saving me.
She mumbled it, lips twitching. The next words were hard to get out.
"...And."
But she had to.
Steeling herself, Raniel spoke.
"Sorry from me too."
"...You? What for?"
"Plenty."
To the blinking Kyle, Raniel said.
"Pushing you so hard. No breaks, just grinding you. Sorry."
"Necessary at the time."
"Still."
"Didn't get it then, but I do now. Someone had to."
"Could've talked differently, I think."
"How, back then? You're human too."
Kyle smiled bitterly.
"No one had the luxury. You had no choice."
Now Kyle knew.
"I get why you had to. You were the Sage there."
Twisted paths circling back to the same view—he understood now. And now he could say it.
"I admired that you."
"......"
"Always aiming high, always chasing ideals, always right. I admired you."
Thinking back, yes.
"Since we were kids. From when you dragged me out of the village by force, you stood in front of me. You were always there."
From the start, always.
"So I yearned for you. Wanted to stand by your side. Be your equal, a real person."
Was that why?
"Chosen by the stars, standing by you—I felt like I had everything. Heading out adventuring with you, I felt accomplished."
Why he'd been so thrilled that day.
"But it couldn't last."
Kyle smiled bitterly.
"Duty was there. Obligation too. Qualified as hero, but my mind wasn't. Started too lightly. Jumped in chasing you on a whim..."
So.
"Moment I thought I couldn't keep up, I ditched duty too."
That's why it all tangled.
"Didn't see you as human. Saw you as a god. Ever since facing the Demon King. Had to, to ease my mind. To endure."
Impossible to catch up.
Not like me.
Had to think that to cope.
"Rationalized it, turned from duty. Hoped you'd get disillusioned, let me go, leave me. Did unforgivable shit."
Yet.
"You wouldn't let go. Kept telling me to get up. Damn..."
"Saw myself in you."
Raniel cut him off.
Sighing, she continued.
"You wouldn't get it, but I never had dreams. So I saw myself in your dreaming. Couldn't watch you quit."
Funny, right?
She muttered.
"That's the real me you admired. No dreams, just charging ahead. Empty inside. That's it."
"...Yeah?"
"Yeah. But not anymore."
Raniel slowly stood.
Unlike Kyle leaning on the wall, she staggered up. Stood right before him.
"Remember your dream?"
"...Become a hero."
"Right. A hero."
Raniel grinned.
"Flawless hero. A symbol. And your symbol was victory."
Symbol of victory.
"Guess I'll try that."
"...What?"
"You saved me without asking."
So, she said.
"I'll steal your dream without asking too."
"...What the hell?"
Ignoring Kyle's baffled laugh, Raniel bent her knee. Slapped his shoulder with her broken arm.
"So rest."
Not the Sage's mask, but a friend's easy tone. Lightly, she went on.
"You can rest now. No one runs forever. You've run enough—rest."
You've worked plenty.
Done enough, so rest.
Kyle burst out laughing at her. He had to.
These were the words he'd longed to hear.
But circumstances wouldn't allow it, no room, countless reasons kept Raniel from saying it, Kyle from hearing.
'...And now, finally.'
Kyle laughed.
Lifted his head smiling. Demon Realm—no sun here. But perhaps the gloom and clouds parted. Sun was rising.
Sunlight leaked through cracks in the collapsed ceiling. Reached the basement at last.
Raniel's ashen hair sparkled in the rays. Battered and filthy, yet to Kyle, she shone brightest. The hero he'd dreamed of stood there.
"Rest."
The hero said.
"By the time you wake, it'll all be over. Then we'll grab a drink."
Not as hero.
Not as Raniel van Trias.
Not as Sage. Just Raniel said.
"You buy then. You always made me."
"When'd you ever pay grudgingly?"
"Anyway, your turn."
Kyle chuckled.
"Yeah, when that time comes..."
Sleep pressed in; resisting grew hard.
As the seed sprouted, Kyle's mind faded. In the blurring haze, he murmured.
"Let's have that drink."