Chapter 263
Chapter 263
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 263
Chapter Title: It's Not a Blessing, It's a Curse (4)
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It's not a blessing. It's a curse.
That was how Destel's words began, but it wasn't a line he'd come up with himself. It was something whispered to him by someone else.
"The falling star is a curse. A horrific curse, not a blessing. Don't you think so too?"
Regardless of who had spoken those words, Destel agreed with their meaning.
Destel said,
"Of course, I don't hate the star. I'm not like the heretics or Kelrhalhm, dreaming of pulling it down from the sky. Even before judging right and wrong, I'm not grand enough to set such lofty goals."
He truly believed that.
Destel continued without his usual acting or pretense. He saw no need to perform even in front of a girl who dreamed of becoming a hero.
"Still."
Destel looked at Chloe.
At the young girl blessed by the star, her life forced upon her. At the girl who might walk a path similar to his own. Destel gave a bitter smile.
"I agree on this one thing: the star's descent is not a blessing, but a curse."
"...A curse?"
"Yeah. A curse. One that arbitrarily decides your life for you."
Destel nodded.
"The moment you receive the starlight, whatever you dreamed of before means nothing. You just become a hero. A hero who lives off the blood and sweat of others."
Unlike him, who was nothing without the star, there were those who shone brilliantly even without it. Those people gladly sacrificed their lives for him.
He had to consume their blood to survive.
Solely because he had been chosen by the star.
'A horrific curse.'
"You have to kill your true self and act the way others want. You must be perfect, virtuous, a symbol of hope. That's what a hero has to be."
Chloe, listening to the story, posed a question.
"...Are you like that too, Sir Destel?"
"Nah? Not me. You know what they call me."
Destel shrugged.
"I'm done with that. I'm tired."
It had been that way at first.
But now, after time had passed, he was worn out.
"I know I'm trash. I take the easy path unbecoming of a hero and demand sacrifices from the knights without taking responsibility myself."
He didn't risk his life in battle.
He forced sacrifices on others but never put his own life on the scales.
'I don't want to bear responsibility for sacrifices, but I lack the courage for self-sacrifice either.'
That's exactly what he was.
Destel knew himself well.
"I've abandoned honor and chosen the easy road. One that's not challenging and doesn't wear down my body."
A life fitting the moniker of Coward.
Destel muttered self-deprecatingly.
"Garahal was right."
The words popped out of nowhere.
"The Ashen Mage isn't someone like me who can just look down on him. I know that much."
It was a continuation of their earlier conversation that day.
Chloe listened silently to Destel's words.
"The Ashen Mage, Raniel van Trias."
A mage renowned on the battlefield.
A figure called the Sage, whose achievements everyone knew. But because Destel had stood in the same place, he knew more.
"More responsible than anyone, more virtuous than anyone, more heroic than anyone. And he's not even a hero. I'd never seen anyone like that before. I wondered if it was even possible."
It had been shocking.
That was Destel's first impression of Raniel.
"He had no obligation to do it. He's different from trash like me from birth. Unlike me, who's nothing without starlight, he's already reached the top."
The kingdom's premier mage tower, the Ashen Mage Tower.
A monstrous figure who claimed the position of Next Mage Tower Lord before even turning twenty.
"And yet, he came to the battlefield."
He abandoned that position and came to the front lines.
No one had forced him to.
"And he fought, wearing down his own body. Even though he had no reason to. Even though he didn't need to."
No duty. No responsibility.
Yet Raniel took responsibility for everything.
"No one can criticize the Ashen Mage. That's right. He could have retired long ago. He had no obligations at all."
It wasn't a forced life.
That's why his self-chosen path shone even brighter.
"I hate to admit it, but he's impressive. That's why we call him a madman. No sane person could live like that."
"...Is that so?"
"Yeah. Though he has some personality issues... but that's minor, so whatever."
Chloe tilted her head.
Seeing that, Destel chuckled.
"He lives by principle."
He does what must be done.
Because it must be, so he does it.
"Do you know how hard that is? Living by principle is the hardest. A life without compromise is the most difficult."
There had been a time when he admired that life.
A time when he'd tried to imitate it. But now, it was all in the past for Destel.
"But."
Destel looked at Chloe.
"Not everyone can be like Raniel."
Chloe, whose eyes had sparkled every time Raniel's or Garahal's name came up. Seeing the admiration in those eyes, Destel couldn't just leave her be.
The end of admiration is horrific.
He knew that all too well.
"Your mind breaks quickly. Goals get distorted. People eventually compromise. Even if you have an unyielding spirit that never compromises..."
Destel knew.
Of the hero who stood by Raniel's side, dreaming of becoming like him, only to be corrupted.
"Without innate talent, it's meaningless."
Destel knew.
Of the hero who burned his life dreaming of perfection but achieved nothing and would soon die.
"I don't know what you dream of or what you want to become..."
Destel looked at Chloe.
At the girl who hadn't chosen her life yet, who still had a chance. Destel said,
"This place is like hell if you're trying to live on admiration alone. Think it through and choose carefully."
Destel let out a short breath.
"Whether you admire Raniel and live like Garahal, or throw it all away and live like me. In the end, the choice is yours."
Chloe bowed her head slightly.
Her fallen hair hid her eyes, but Destel guessed they were shaken.
"You've come to the battlefield, so see a lot, learn a lot. Think it over and decide."
Unlike him, whose path was doomed from the start.
"You still have time."
The girl before him still had time.
'Some will curse me for instilling useless ideas, teaching her unnecessary things...'
This was Destel's own consideration.
The consideration and advice of a senior who had belatedly realized he was mere expendable fodder.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ 2.
Early in the morning, I changed out of my usual Aphria Academy uniform into the knight order's attire. The uniform felt unfamiliar after so long.
'I wore it often at first.'
Later I just threw on a robe, but in the early days, I remembered wearing the knight order uniform properly. Back then, I'd tried to look sharp.
"Look at this, Raniel."
"They say this is the hero's exclusive outfit. White base with gold trim. Cool, right? Mine's getting custom shoulder pauldrons added..."
When Kyle first received his hero's uniform.
Back then, his shoulders were tense, and he kept fiddling with the holy sword's hilt.
"I'm still an apprentice, but to stand before others, I need the proper attire. What do you think? Suits me?"
"Looks good. How about mine?"
"Hm, now you look like a knight."
"Right?"
It was the era when Kyle, that bastard, strutted around with eyes full of ambition instead of his rotten fish stare. A pretty fun time, so it stuck in my memory.
'All in the past now.'
How did that guy end up like this?
"Sigh."
I let out an involuntary sigh and pulled on my gloves.
Screech.
As I opened the door, Chloe came into view, already changed and crouched in the hallway.
"Chloe."
"Ah, Professor Lania."
Chloe glanced up at me.
Her eyes were hollow, her skin lifeless.
"...Didn't sleep last night?"
"Well, um... I couldn't sleep well."
Chloe scratched her head.
It wasn't like her usual self. I silently watched her, then spoke.
"Something wrong?"
"Ah, no, nothing."
Something was definitely wrong.
I gave a wry smile at her obvious fluster. I bent down to meet her eye level. Chloe averted her gaze slyly.
"You look like you've got a lot on your mind."
"...A little."
"But you don't seem like you want to talk about it."
Chloe pressed her lips together.
She probably thought it was the kind of worry she couldn't share with me.
"Ugh."
Thwack. I flicked her forehead.
"Want to take it easy today?"
"...From the start?"
"You're in this state, so one day won't hurt. Your will is what matters most anyway."
Chloe shook her head.
"I'm fine."
She sprang to her feet.
The knight uniform she wore fluttered in the breeze. It looked awkward, like it didn't quite fit.
"Let's go, Professor Lania."
"Yeah, alright..."
I nodded and turned around.
Garahal stood there, having arrived unnoticed. Dressed in the hero party's uniform with the holy spear on his back, it looked perfectly natural on him.
"Getting serious, huh."
"We're heading to the front lines for real. Lania, don't you have anything else to prepare?"
At some point, he'd switched from "Professor Lania" to just "Lania." Feeling a slight sense of discomfort at the tone, I still nodded.
"Nothing else needed."
"Like a staff or something."
"Hey. Ever seen the Ashen Mage fight with a staff?"
"You said it was cumbersome and didn't use it. As I recall, you just packed away the one your master gave you without ever using it, right?"
"Yeah."
Once you reach a certain level, a staff is just a hindrance. It's meant to help draw circuits, but with a bit of adaptation, fingers are much faster.
"So I don't use one either."
"Ah, I see..."
If that's how you are, then fine.
Garahal looked down at me with eyes that seemed resigned—a rare expression for him.
"...Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"No, your eyes are weird."
"If it feels that way, maybe you've got a guilty conscience. I'm innocent."
This guy, no matter how I look...
"Hey, you don't mean..."
"Sir Garahal, Sir Destel is waiting."
As I started to speak, an approaching knight pointed down the hall.
"Let's go."
Garahal strode ahead, instantly reverting to his usual demeanor.
I glared at him with pursed lips.
'His attitude toward me has gotten casual too. Don't tell me...'
I jabbed Garahal's back hard.
He yelped and turned around.
"You figured it out."
"Figured what out?"
"You know, damn it."
"So what are you talking about?"
Tsk.
"Professor Lania, what's wrong?"
"...Nothing. Let's go, Chloe."
He definitely knew. No doubt about it.
But it was just a hunch. I sighed and followed behind Garahal.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ 3.
Eastern Front 3, Hafreion.
"I'll do things my usual way. I'm in charge here at Hafreion. You're guests at best."
In the office plastered with maps.
Its owner, Destel, propped his chin and greeted his guests. His eyes were full of fatigue.
"I get why you picked this place. Probably want to compare me with Garahal."
He grumbled.
"If that's what you want, fine. I'll proceed with my usual strategy, and treat you as non-combatants. Do whatever you want, wherever."
He wouldn't pretend to work hard just because guests arrived, or spout platitudes... None of that tedious nonsense.
With that nailed down, Destel exhaled shortly.
"The operation starts in three days."
He pointed to the map on the table.
"Bertha Gorge Annihilation Battle."
Raniel frowned upon confirming the marked location. She couldn't not know it.
Bertha Gorge.
The place where Raniel and Kyle had subjugated the Black Dragon.
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