Chapter 88
Chapter 88
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 88
Chapter Title: Hassan's Day Off
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A stick.
A stick as my reward.
I'd been looking forward to this reward quite a bit, so I couldn't hide my disappointment.
It looked sturdy enough, but it was just a stick so common that if I stuck it in a field, I might never find it again. That was my reward.
Of course, I couldn't show outright disappointment. If I did, I might even lose this stick.
"It's... nice, I guess."
"One of my old comrades used a club just like that one. He was a fearsome warrior. There wasn't anything he couldn't smash with it."
Hearing it was a club used by a fearsome warrior, I took another look at the stick in my hand.
"What the hell is this thing supposed to be?"
Some kind of magic wand? Maybe if I chant a spell and smack the ground, gold coins pop out? Shit, even that might be pushing it.
No matter how I looked at it, it seemed like a plain old club—while I was squinting suspiciously, Actaeon explained.
"An olive tree blessed by Lady Minerva. They felled it and hammered it down, compressing it. It looks light and thin, but you're essentially holding a whole tree right now."
"I-is that so?"
Shit, hearing that made the club look different somehow.
A whole tree compressed into this? It sounded like bullshit, but in a world where bullshit stories like that actually happen, I wasn't so sure.
A world where magic and spells exist, where dwarves build houses in a single day.
Anyway, while I was reeling in surprise, Actaeon continued.
"Even more astonishing is that even after cutting off the roots, the tree is still alive. Thanks to Lady Minerva's blessing."
"It's still alive?"
"Not just alive—it's going to absorb your karma and grow even stronger from here on out. And as your comrade grows, so will the club, getting tougher and harder."
A weapon that grows with its owner. Who knew such a thing existed in this world.
Truth be told, I'd been thinking I needed a new weapon. Just yesterday, fighting that heretic's black warrior had turned my two swords into scrap metal.
Could they be repaired? Or should I just buy new ones? That's what I'd been worrying about.
Whoosh, whooosh!
I swung the club through the air a few times.
It didn't slice the wind sharply like a sword, but unlike a blade that needed constant sharpening, sword techniques, oiling, and maintenance, this had a rough, refreshing feel that I really liked.
If it was just about swinging with raw power, even I could handle it easily.
"Looks like you like it, huh?"
"It's pretty good."
"The count's young lady herself named the club. A named weapon—something even I, Actaeon, have never had."
Actaeon smirked faintly as he shoved what looked like pudding or some dessert into his mouth in one go.
Then he stood up and muttered, "Symphony, Harmony. If you would."
Rustle, rustle.
The sky-blue twintail maidens who'd been waiting behind him pulled clothes from bags they were carrying and draped them over him.
In no time, the pervert in just his panties was gone, replaced by a sharply dressed man in a suit-like outfit standing before me.
The transformation had such an odd presence that I felt intimidated despite myself. Shit, isn't he a totally different person now?
"Clothes really are wings, huh."
"It's a shame to cover this beautiful body of mine, but no helping it. I've got a meeting today with the upper echelons of the Mars Guild over the heretic issue. Can't show up looking sloppy."
"I see."
"Anyway, the young lady named it herself. She's got a talent for that sort of thing. The club's name is Terror Crusher. And it's another title you'll be known by from now on, Hassan of Samaria."
Terror Crusher, Hassan?
The name sent chills down my spine. Like something a middle schooler would scribble in a notebook no one else would ever see and feel proud about.
Nicknames in this world all had that cringe factor. Do people actually like this stuff?
Anyway, a plain-looking club got a pretty vicious name attached to it. Honestly, I couldn't see myself going around calling it that...
"Friend, I've got to head out first—busy with the heretic cleanup. Enjoy the rest of your meal with Ideophe's young lady. And..."
He started to leave, then paused, trailing off.
"What else?"
"How's Hippolyte doing? You'd have run into her once or twice if you're with the Mars Guild."
Actaeon seemed to know Hippolyte. Makes sense—both were influential adventurers in Sodomora.
Of course, I knew her too. I'd been on the receiving end of her one-sided advances, in more ways than one.
"She's doing fine, I guess. Want me to pass on a message next time I see her?"
"Nah, no need. Our relationship with her isn't that great anyway. Though... passing on one message couldn't hurt. Let me think—"
Actaeon hemmed and hawed like he was searching for the right words. After about a minute, he came up with something and said lightly,
"The warrior's karma is not yet fulfilled—that should do it."
"What does that even mean? I can just say it like that?"
"Hippolyte will understand. Anyway, good meeting you, friend."
* * *
Luna finished her meal about thirty minutes after Actaeon left.
She'd been devouring the swamp snails like she had a grudge against them, but finally, as if she couldn't fit another bite, she groaned, "Ughhh—."
It almost sounded like the cry of the snails feeling wronged in her stomach.
"L-let's get up now, Hassan."
Still reluctant, she stuffed more shells into the gaps in her clothes. If I make a ton of money later, I gotta take Luna to an all-you-can-eat buffet a bunch of times.
With that, we left the Minerva Guild and headed back to Luna's shack together.
Only after filling a jar to the brim with the shells from my pockets and hers did Luna finally relax and shout,
"No more worrying about food for days...!"
"Good for you."
"More importantly, Hassan! What's with the stick?"
Luna, who'd been obsessed with food until just now, finally noticed the club at my waist.
"They said this is my reward."
"Your reward is one stick? Seems stingy."
"They said it's not just any stick."
"Looks like you got duped, Hassan. You're a sucker for lies. Hmm, I should've stuck around."
She eyed me slyly.
Had Luna tricked me a few times before? It felt like ancient history even though it wasn't long ago. Yeah, back then...
"I dunno, Actaeon said it was good. Wanna touch it?"
I offered her the Terror Crusher. Luna hesitated, then took it with both hands and widened her eyes in shock.
"Th-thick!"
"Right?"
"And it's harder and heavier than it looks... And it feels alive? What? Am I imagining it?"
"Not imagining. They said it's really alive. It'll keep growing by absorbing my karma or whatever."
"Shh! That's a living weapon! Those are super rare! Holy crap, then it's totally worth it as a reward! Feels overly generous...!"
Luna ran her hands up and down the stick. Her emerald eyes gleamed strangely, like she coveted my reward.
Seeing her flip from disappointed to excited like this meant the thing was legit, right?
"Hassan's club..."
"Some count's young lady named it, apparently. T-Terror Crusher..."
Saying the name out loud was embarrassing. Would it sound better in English? What's Terror Crusher in English?
While I was thinking that, Luna turned the barbaric club this way and that, inspecting it closely.
"Terror Crusher... Thick and hard..."
She muttered, then brought it right up to her nose and sniffed.
"Smells good too..."
Then she stuck out her tongue and licked it.
Slurp.
"...Tastes like wood."
"It's wood, so of course. Anyway, this should be a fair reward, right? I would've preferred gold coins, honestly."
"You can earn gold by working hard, but living weapons? You can work your ass off and still never get one. This is way better!"
"Good to know it worked out."
Did that mean Actaeon's judgment was spot on?
"Anyway, now Hassan's got a silence totem too. We're a matching pair...!"
Luna seemed happier that it was a blunt weapon like her silence totem than the fact it was rare and valuable.
The world's first couple's item being matching weapons instead of rings or t-shirts—only possible in a fantasy world like this.
Not that I minded.
Whatever it was, having something the same or similar to Luna's made our bond feel deeper, which I liked.
* * *
And so another night deepened.
I told Luna it was best to sleep together in case the heretics I hadn't fully given up on attacked again.
She hesitated a bit but soon agreed it was the smart call.
Honestly, from my side, I was hoping the cover of night might lead to something naughty.
But unexpectedly, the mood didn't go that way, so I had to settle for sharing the blanket and sleeping.
How do all those couples create that mood? As a total newbie at romance, I had no clue.
Do you just grab boldly and go for it?
Nah, even Luna would hate that.
If she ended up hating me and yelling, "Don't touch my body ever again!" I'd be so devastated I'd bawl my eyes out. Just imagining it made my earlier meal rise up.
So I pondered how to set the mood in the future—running simulations in my head—when,
"Burp—."
Luna let out a tiny burp, then,
"Hmm~ hmm~."
suddenly started humming.
"Luna, did you just burp?"
"N-no I didn't!"
"Don't lie. I heard it."
"Ah! I didn't...!"
Luna was seriously mad at me. Embarrassed about the burp? I thought it was cute, but from her side, it might feel mortifying.
After all we'd been through, blushing over something like this felt kinda fresh.
"Haaaah—."
But then she stopped being mad and started breathing heavily. I gently took her wrist to check.
Ding-.
『Name: Luna Noxdoty Lv. 11
Strength: 3
Agility: 6
Vitality: 2
Traits: Flailing | Gluttony Enthusiast | Nocturnal
Status: Nox's Curse | Erebos's Curse | Acute Indigestion』
Sure enough, checking her pulse showed she'd overeaten so much her stomach was overloaded. Indigestion, basically.
Knew it.
So I pressed firmly on the fleshy spot between her thumb and index finger on her palm. The Hegu point.
The multipurpose acupoint I'd used to fix Daphne's digestion issues before. Pressing it when bloated feels refreshing and makes you feel great.
"Ow, ouch!"
But Luna flailed like it hurt like hell. When your stomach's off, pressing there can cause sharp pain for some people.
"Endure it a little, even if it hurts."
"Hassaannn—! O-owww!"
But she was hurting way more than expected, so I got curious. I wasn't pressing that hard.
Wondering what was up, I threw off the blanket, got up, and lifted her palm to look.
Activating my glowing hand to light the dark room, I saw spots on her palm I hadn't noticed before.
The Ten Declarations points.
Acupoints at the base of each fingernail. The spots you prick with needles for indigestion.
But what did it mean that tiny rice-grain-like spots had appeared there, different from her usual thumb-sized ones?
Only one thing came to mind.
"Luna, where'd you put the needles?"
"H-Hassan, why needles!?"
With her hand still gripped in mine, Luna started trembling. Like a terrified animal on the verge of tears.