Chapter 66
Chapter 66
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 66
Chapter Title: Quack Masseur Hassan #5
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Hippolyte had been pressing firmly into my back. Then she spoke up.
“You’ve met my father before, haven’t you?”
“My lady Hippolyte’s father?”
“That’s right. The God of Strife, Lord Mars. Some people don’t believe it, but I’m truly the daughter of a god. A demigod.”
She was calling herself the daughter of a god. But I already knew plenty of people who claimed to be sons of gods or incarnations of sages.
Like the cult leaders from my original world, for instance. They always said they were the messiah reincarnated into this world or the creator himself.
It was obvious nonsense to anyone with eyes, but the funny thing was that there were always people who actually believed it. That’s why cults never disappear from the world.
Fucking cult bastards. Wasn’t I dragged into this weird world because of those cult assholes? Or maybe it really happened just like the cults said, so they weren’t cults after all? Fuck if I know.
Anyway, that’s what I was thinking about when she spoke again.
“You don’t believe I’m the daughter of a god?”
“I-I didn’t say that.”
“Your muscles are tensing up. I can tell if you’re lying or not.”
What? She could detect lies from muscles? That sounded more like bullshit than the god’s daughter claim.
“Honestly, it’s a bit hard to believe…”
“I get it. I haven’t met my father much myself. Truth is, I was an orphan. I scavenged food scraps from trash bins and did dirty, grueling work in back alleys to survive. If I hadn’t sworn chastity to Lady Diana, I might’ve ended up ruined by rough men.”
Hippolyte was an orphan? It was the first I’d heard of it, so I couldn’t help feeling puzzled.
I’d figured a woman like her was raised from childhood as a natural-born killing machine warrior.
“Back then, Sodomora was far more brutal than it is now. Things have gotten a lot better. The adventurers’ guild moved in, and public safety improved. But at the time, it was a real pit of evil. Imagine surviving there as a little girl.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Yeah, whatever. Thoughts are free.”
With a deep *kkuuk*, the pressure on my shoulder intensified. It hurt so much I wanted to scream.
“Gek!”
“Anyway, one day when I was so hungry I thought about scooping mud off the ground to eat, I met that man in a back alley. Ferocious fighting spirit, eyes burning like fire. That day, I knew. He wasn’t human. And I wasn’t an orphan. He was my father.”
She pressed so hard—*kwaak, kwaak*—that I could only pretend to be interested in the story.
“Y-You felt it instinctively?”
“Yeah. You could call it an instinct soaked into the blood flowing through my body. That day, I awakened to my destiny as a demigod. And I felt all my senses and nerves sharpen even more.”
“Th-That gek, your nerves got more sensitive?”
“Exactly. I was freaked out at first. I could hear people talking far away. I thought I was going crazy. Turns out it’s common for those who awaken to divinity. They call it divine awakening syndrome.”
Demigods, awakening to divinity—my brain wheels weren’t turning properly on all this.
It just felt like some secret of the world that people in this place whispered about among themselves, like talk of mana or karma. Divine awakening syndrome? What a hilarious syndrome. Like Spider-Sense?
Anyway, maybe because I was listening to her story, the crushing grip Hippolyte had on my shoulder like she was going to pulverize it finally eased up.
“I’m working as an adventurer to meet my father again. If I reach the end of Pluto’s Labyrinth and get the Nectar of Immortality, I’ll become a great god, not just a demigod, and earn the right to ascend to Hypos. Then I’ll be able to meet him.”
“Ah, so that’s Lady Hippolyte’s goal. I thought you just liked fighting.”
“I want to fight my father.”
What incestuous talk. Anyway, I’d heard a bit about the Nectar of Immortality.
It was like a panacea for immortality, the thing that drove so many adventurers to seek the depths of the underground labyrinth to escape the fear of death.
Elfriede had become an adventurer chasing it too.
But to me, it was pretty ridiculous: heading into Pluto’s Labyrinth, which was basically hell, to avoid death. Wasn’t that contradictory?
Hippolyte said,
“You smell like my father. The smell of blood and strife. For a moment, I wondered if he’d turned into a human form to wander the world for fun. Or maybe you were my half-brother.”
Me, a god turned human? Or her half-brother? Was she seriously misunderstanding me like that?
“No way that’s true. I’m Hassan from Samaria.”
“Yeah. Seeing you roll around in the dirt today confirmed it. You’re not my father or brother. But I can tell the gods are taking an interest in you. They have some expectations for you.”
*Swik—*
Hippolyte rose from my body. She pulled me up to sit on the ground, then turned her back to me, exposing her own back.
“My turn now. Massage my back like I did yours.”
“Huh? You want me to massage Lady Hippolyte’s back?”
“No need to tense up. Just do exactly what I did. Even a beginner can handle a shoulder rub.”
She swept her shaggy brown hair forward, fully baring her back. It was narrow like a woman’s should be, but packed with well-trained muscles that looked incredibly healthy.
Its straight, flawless alignment drew involuntary admiration. No need for chiropractic work here. A true demigod.
I swallowed hard, then slowly reached out toward her shoulder.
Maybe from the recent training, her shoulder was hot to the touch and slick with moist sweat. Smooth enough to glide over.
I first pressed firmly into her shoulder, around the Jianjing acupoint near the trapezius.
*Kkuuk, kkuuk.*
“Is this good?”
“Hmm, yeah, that works. Though anyone could do that much.”
Did she not know I’d been kneading other people’s bodies like a pro?
No boasting, but my massage skills had even won over the picky, sensitive Elfriede. I suddenly wondered how this tough female warrior would squeal.
Here was my chance to get revenge for all the times she’d flipped me over and wrenched my joints while I flailed.
“Then, as thanks for the massage, I’ll do my humble best.”
“Don’t get too eager. The body isn’t stimulated just by brute force.”
“Got it.”
With that, I silently continued gently kneading her trapezius.
After ten seconds to a minute of stimulation, I felt the tension drain from her rigid body.
“H-How’s that?”
“Whew… Better than I expected. No talent for swordsmanship or hand-to-hand, but surprisingly gifted at massage.”
“Thank you.”
*Burur—*
Seizing the moment as she shivered like goosebumps had risen, my fingers slid from her shoulder toward her back.
Her skin was naturally ruddy, and the moonlight dim, so she hadn’t noticed, but up close, I saw red spots near her straight spine.
This was the same spot as the Shenshu acupoint where I’d healed Nymph Echo’s herniated disc late afternoon. Along with the Sanyinjiao on the ankle, it’s great for women’s issues.
Come to think of it, didn’t Hippolyte have severe menstrual cramps as a status ailment? Wondering if I could fix it, I pressed my thumb hard into the Shenshu.
“…”
She didn’t speak, but trembled violently like she felt a chill.
“You okay?”
“…Fine. Your hand on my back startled me. Come to think of it, it’s my first time letting someone touch me like this. You remind me of my father, so it feels a bit nostalgic.”
“Then I’ll press.”
The Shenshu points on both sides of her waist. I pressed *kkuk—kkuuk* a bit harder.
Her back muscles, including the erector spinae, were so well-developed that a little force amplified the stimulation. Her body was so elastic, it felt like it’d flick my fingers away if I eased up.
*Parur, parurur—*
Every time I applied pressure, Hippolyte’s body quivered. Was it pain or pleasure? Hard to tell. Surprisingly, no sound escaped her lips.
Did everyone react differently?
I was about to stop messing around and focus on curing her status to rack up karma value when—
“Eut…”
A tiny voice, barely audible unless I strained my ears, leaked from Hippolyte’s throat as she faced away.
It was as faint as a caterpillar munching leaves, but hearing it lit a fire in me like a switch had flipped.
So I swept my palm over her sides and back, then circled my thumbs to work the muscles.
Her sweat-slicked body now gleamed smoothly under the moonlight.
Her body heat was rising noticeably, which was fun. Hippolyte ran hot. Metabolism through the roof. A sun person.
“Geut… Heu… Keuk…”
Now she let out small yelps. For some reason, she desperately tried to stifle them.
I couldn’t see her face, but she was probably biting her lower lip.
“H-How is it? My massage skills.”
“Sk… Skills? Honestly, terrible… No… feeling at all.”
What? This harsh critique? I was confident in my massages. It sparked my competitive spirit.
“Is that so? Then I’ll press harder.”
“H-Harder, even haaaarder—!”
*Kwaaak.*
Even I thought it was a bit strong as I dug my thumb in.
Soon, the red spot at the Shenshu on her waist faded, and text appeared before my eyes.
『Cured Hippolyte Heavensinger’s severe menstrual cramps.』
『Karma Value +10』
『Current Karma Value +117』
“Grut, eut, haa, ah… Hang…!”
Unable to hold her position, Hippolyte collapsed face-first onto the ground.
She twitched like a bug that’d eaten poison. Pretty amusing.
“Ugut, heu…”
I considered letting her rest. But recalling how she’d made me roll in the dirt under the guise of “training” stirred my anger.
I couldn’t waste this rare chance for revenge. When else would I get to pay back a Silver Tier adventurer?
So I straddled her butt area and swept my palm up her firm back.
Her sweat-drenched back massaged my hand softly without any lotion.
No need for acupoints—just friction-stimulating the skin was healthy.
*Swik, sweeik—*
“Nghaat…!”
But it felt better than expected, so smooth and soft. Luna’s slender frame was nice, but this trained, contoured body had its own tactile appeal.
“Eut… S-Stop that. What do you think you’re doing on your own… Haat…”
She tried to resist, moving her body, but she was pinned solidly under me.
Back exposed, mount position. Even if Hippolyte was good at ground techniques, she lacked the raw strength to shove my heavy build off in this disadvantageous spot.
So I gently stroked from her back to shoulders to sides with my palm.
“Heu, y-you bastard! How dare you do this!”
“It’s just a massage.”
“T-This is no massage no matter how you—”
As Hippolyte tried to speak, my hand slipped from her back and accidentally jabbed deep into her side and armpit.
“Aaang… N-No!?”
Hippolyte jolted like a mouse in a trap. I tumbled backward off her butt.
She quickly regained her stance and looked down at me coldly.
“Tch, a truly awful massage. Can’t even do the basics. Hassan, you have no talent at all…!”
Fuming, she stormed off somewhere.
Did I kill the mood and piss off a Silver Tier adventurer? Shit, I blew it—feeling that, I brushed off my butt and stood.
*Piu—*
Then something sharp whistled from the sky, grazing my cheek and embedding in the ground. What the hell flew by in the night? Was that blood trickling from my cheek?
I leaned down to see what had grazed me.
*Kkuuk.*
Something slammed into my neck, pinning me face-down to the ground with all its might. Pinned like a noose around my neck, I couldn’t budge.
“Gegek—”
Not a noose—more like a heavy anchor crushing me. My neck bones might snap. Shit, what was happening?
It didn’t take long to realize it was someone’s sole.
『You’ve been getting too cocky lately. Don’t you think? Or is it just me?』