Chapter 28
Chapter 28
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 28
Chapter Title: Nemea's Cat
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“Meow-nyow, mee-yow!”
I’d been listening to Luna’s bizarre cat calls for a while when it happened.
“I wondered who was calling me, and it turns out it was you, brother!”
I turned at the presence behind me and spotted a conical hat, freezing for a second in silence, thinking the witch might have followed after overhearing us. But then I saw the huge nose underneath and got pissed off instead.
“Fuck, use your damn blinker next time, you little shit.”
“What’s a blinker? Anyway, I heard a joyful voice calling for me and hoped it might be you. Looks like the god of encounters, Lord Mercury, is watching over us!”
Clack, clack.
The bard Malco clacked together the weird denture-like thing in his hand.
“Oh, this is a castanet I’m carrying instead of my lyre, which got busted by those goblins last time. When you tap it like this, the grooves inside make a sound—”
“Didn’t fucking ask, asshole. Who said they were calling you? What are you doing here anyway?”
“Weren’t you looking for Whitey? My childhood nickname was Whitey—”
As Malco started explaining, Luna, who’d been listening quietly, cut him off.
“Whitey’s a cat.”
“A cat? I thought you siblings had come to see my underground show.”
“Big Nose, you do shows underground?”
“Not Big Nose, it’s Malco. I perform on the streets and underground every week. Didn’t I tell you over drinks?”
“Did you?”
Luna peered intently at my face, narrowing her brows slightly as if asking if I remembered. But my memories of that day were all hazy, so nothing came to mind.
“Looks like you don’t remember. Are you heading underground to find the cat? Even though you weren’t coming to see me, we meet like this—truly a fateful encounter!”
I hadn’t seen this Malco guy many times, but he loved slapping “fate” onto everything. Of course, most street bards were like that.
Bards and minstrels were the type with overflowing sensitivity, throwing around flowery words like fate and tragedy everywhere.
In a good light, they were people who chose art over filling their empty stomachs.
In a bad light, they were pitiful souls lacking any sense of reality.
“Big Nose, you said you perform underground here, right? So you know the paths well?”
“That’s right, sister. Need a guide? Looks like you’re on a quest to find a cat.”
The big-nosed bard Malco was sharper than he seemed. A guy surviving in this harsh world with just an instrument had to be perceptive—anything else would be weirder.
He was useless in a fight, but having one more in the party gave a sense of stability somehow.
In this world where combat skills and tactics weren’t advanced, numbers were the strongest force.
But if he joined, we’d have to split the reward with his share too.
We’d already spent 1 silver as an advance on the quest, so greedy thoughts made the back of my head itch. What to do.
“Big Nose, no cut for you—cool with that?”
“Ha, sister, do you see this Malco as someone who moves only for money?”
“Yeah.”
“Indeed, the daughter of Ideophe has a keen eye for people! Money is king. Per the laws set by Lord Mercury, I’ll take just 10% of the quest reward as guide fee.”
10%? Adding a man for 10% was a steal.
“Malco, you half-assed fallen artist fuck. Fine, 10%. Let’s go.”
“Artist? Brother, did you just call this Malco an artist? I’ve heard bum, clown, and all sorts, but this sends shivers through my heart for the first time! Alright, let’s go!”
And so we slowly slipped into the underground hole.
Once we descended the ladder, the first things we saw were the dark, damp floor and fist-sized rat pups with glowing red eyes.
Fwoosh.
Even with the torch lit, the rats didn’t flinch or flee—they just stared right at us, sending chills straight down my spine.
Squeak-squeak.
Having studied world history in liberal arts class, I knew medieval rats carried all sorts of plagues, so I couldn’t help being on guard.
In this world without proper medicine, getting bitten by one didn’t bear imagining.
“Rats, rats. So cute.”
But Luna knelt down as if she didn’t give a damn, palm extended toward them. And wouldn’t you know, a few climbed onto her hand and rubbed their faces against it?
“Hey, fuck! Get those off!”
“Why? They’re cute. Rats are Lord Nox’s lions, they say.”
“Fuck, anyway! Put them down! They’re filthy!”
“Hmm.”
At my irritated shout, Luna furrowed her brow like she couldn’t understand, but reluctantly released the rats back onto the sewer floor.
Squeak.
In this world where germs and viruses were dismissed as nonsense, my reaction probably seemed over the top. But I couldn’t tolerate rats.
Remembering how they bit me during my slave days still made my teeth grind in rage.
“Hmm, Samaritans fear rats, huh. Unexpected.”
“Sister, everyone has something they fear. Even the great hero Achilles died from a rat bite to the heel.”
“True. But there sure are a lot of them. Even the Ideophe swamps didn’t have this many.”
Luna’s lips curved up in excitement as she eyed the squeaking swarms around us. Beside her, the bard Malco clacked his instrument.
“The rats of Sodomora’s sewers have an amusing tale. Long ago, a piper led them away with his flute—”
“Anyway, we’re heading out.”
“Then I’ll finish the story next time.”
Worried about pointless chit-chat dragging on, I started walking. My rain cape was already getting soaked from the dripping water everywhere.
The stench of sewage flowing with all sorts of filth was overpowering, and with so many rats, even a healthy person might catch something here.
“With so many rats, a cat hiding out wouldn’t be strange. So, what does this Whitey look like?”
At Malco’s question, I recalled the witch’s description.
“All white fur, apparently. You’ll know it when you see it.”
“A white-furred cat. Rare in Sodomora for sure. Trust this Malco—we’ll find it quick.”
*
Malco and I wandered the damp, gloomy underground sewers. But not a single white hair in sight—the job wasn’t progressing at all.
Finding a cat in a huge city was never going to be easy—I knew that. It might drag on past today into tomorrow, or the day after, or longer.
But they’d pay extra if it took time—
Trusting the bonus, I just kept walking silently.
Failing or quitting the quest would go against my goal of reaching Silver Tier adventurer rank.
“Meow-ngh.”
“Sister, you’ve got a real talent for cat calls.”
“Of course. The first thing you learn to become an Ideophe voodoo priestess is animal impressions. You have to commune with all things. It’s a soul-to-soul conversation through their cries.”
Luna and Malco chatted away, aware or not of how serious this was for me.
It reminded me of group projects in college liberal arts classes. Only the leader was stressed while the rest slacked off like this.
“Anyway, let’s keep going.”
“Mee-yowww—”
Fuck.
We’d been trekking along with those weird cat sounds for a while when—
Crackle-crackle.
“Fuck, what was that? You guys hear it too?”
Whether from a clogged sewer or something, a bizarre noise similar to Luna’s cat calls echoed from the corner ahead where rotten trash and rat corpses floated. I stopped in my tracks.
“You heard it too? How to describe it... like an itchy armpit sound.”
“Didn’t hear anything.”
Luna shook her head.
Malco beside her made a pitying face, as if doubting my sanity. “Brother, hearing things? Cursed by that statue you touched?”
....
Weird. I swear I heard it.
“Hassan, you sure it wasn’t just your voice echoing or something?”
“Nah, felt different. Raw sound.”
Crackle!
“R-real? Something made noise over there!”
The clear sound again made even Luna, who’d doubted me, jump and yell.
“Wow, a real cat understood me! My voodoo’s leveled up!”
Fuck, a real cat reacting to that shitty imitation. Was the world wrong, or was I? My head was a mess.
But a hint in this stalled search was very welcome. As I stepped toward the source—
“Brother, that corner ahead... better not go in.”
Malco, who’d been yapping and even singing to himself till now, grabbed my shoulder with an uncharacteristically serious face.
“Why? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Uh, monster maybe?”
“No, just filthy. Even beggars avoid it—the stench is that bad.”
Oh, that’s all? Fuck, he built it up like a big deal.
But thinking about it, solid advice. Maybe Malco was more hygienic and smart than I thought. Upgrading his hygiene score in my mind.
Luna sniffed the air beside him.
“Doesn’t smell bad to me.”
The stink was nose-curling, but Luna shrugged like she smelled nothing. Her taste was off, and apparently her nose too—poor girl.
“Sister’s sense of smell is on a miraculous level.”
“Trained it since I was little! Most smells don’t faze me. Oh, but I’ve got something good.”
Luna suddenly reached into her rain cape and pulled out a small shell.
“Mente oil. Dab it under your nose, and you won’t smell much.”
She scooped the thick white liquid inside onto her finger and slathered it under mine and Malco’s noses.
Sssss—
Cool? Stinging and spicy? Some sensation scraped through my nose into my brain.
Like that time in school, punishment game forcing toothpaste under my nose during lunch. Exactly that feeling.
Annoying, but better than the sewer stink.
“Gaaah, f-fuck, I’m dying! Mente scent!”
“Quit whining, asshole. Anyway, heading in. Don’t know what’s there—stay sharp—”
As party leader, I gave quick warnings and steeled myself to draw my sword anytime.
Sizzle, sizzle-sizzle.
From ahead, a black wave surged like a tide—my hair stood on end. It was rats. A living, writhing wave of them.
“Shit, fuck! What the hell!”
“These sewer rats love mente scent! Brewers’ mente beer dregs flow down from the surface!”
“Hey, fuck, you should’ve said that earlier!”
The rats swarmed us instantly—me, Luna, Malco.
Not just surrounding—they leaped like spamming the spacebar, claws and teeth sinking into our bodies.
“Fuck! You goddamn rat shits!”
I gripped torch in one hand, knife in the other, swinging wildly to threaten them. Time for three-way master Hassan to shine.
“Goblin chopper, you fucks!”
Shing.
“Hah!”
Squeak-squeak!
But these tiny devil spawn ignored human blades, swarming my body, gnawing my new rain cape with their little teeth.
Fuck, my 10-copper cape gone in one rat meal?
“I-I’ll handle it! Squeak-squeak-squeak! Squeak!”
“Hey, what the fuck!”
“Rat calls! I-I’ll persuade them with soul communion voodoo! Ack, aaah! H-hey, we’re friends! S-squeak!”
“Quit bullshitting and swing something!”
But the black wave was merciless like a bandit horde. At this rate, not just clothes—wounds and 2 silver in healing bills.
Just as “Fuck this, let’s run!” bubbled up my throat—
...
A soft melody from somewhere made the rats freeze like someone hit pause.