Chapter 247
Chapter 247
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 247
Chapter Title: Elves of Albheim
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I asked.
“Hey, Elfride. Do you like me or something?”
Even I thought it was a pretty bold thing to say.
No matter what answer came back, it was the kind of line I’d never forget, even on my deathbed.
I knew that full well myself, and I’d kicked off the covers more than a few times after asking something like this in the past. And yet here I was, repeating the same damn mistake.
History and karma repeat themselves in life too.
So, what reaction would I get now?
I was so tense my chest felt like it might burst. My heartbeat thundered in my ears.
Just spitting out that one line that had been swirling in my mouth made the whole world around me shift.
“…What?”
Elfride, who’d been gripping the railing and trembling, seemed to lose a bit of her tension.
I could only see the back of her head, so no clue what her face looked like.
“Ha, what did you say?”
Her voice came next, sharp and biting.
Only then did it hit me what I’d just asked. Fuck, of all people, to Elfride.
But there had been some suspicious signs.
She’d cooked for me, given me pocket money, even let me rub her shoulders.
From my limited knowledge, women were pretty picky even about platonic opposite-sex friends—whether someone was on their level or not. They weighed it carefully.
I didn’t know if that was true, but since I’d never had any opposite-sex friends, it felt spot on.
And if they were that selective with just friends, letting someone massage their shoulders or feet had to mean more than casual affection, right?
The whippings, the occasional knuckle-raps to the head or raised voices—maybe those were twisted expressions of love.
Like elementary school kids who tease or bully their crushes because they can’t show it outright.
Maybe that’s what Elfride was doing.
She was an elf who could live to 200, but barely twenty-one or twenty-two. In human terms, like ten years old.
Plausible.
“Hey, do you like me?”
“Why the hell would I like you, you idiot!”
“What?”
“Did you eat something bad? Me, like you? I feel like puking! I hate it, totally hate it!! It’s ridiculous. Ugh—I can’t believe I have to hear this crap.”
Her reaction was exactly as expected. Seeing her hate it that much—fuck, now I had even more reason to wake up kicking the covers every night.
Fuck.
What the hell had I just asked?
I could vividly picture a new line etched in Hatsan’s mysterious black history dictionary: “Asked Elfride if she liked me.”
I wanted to bolt from here, run through the streets screaming. But I couldn’t, so my ankles and calves started shaking.
The backlash from impulsive actions always hits late like this.
Me, fuck me of all people, asking Elfride that.
I thought I’d mastered it in college—that women being a little nice or special doesn’t mean they like you.
Maybe Luna and Hippolyte had given me some kind of hatchet delusion.
Finding out cute Luna or hotshot adventurer Hippolyte liked me made me wonder if other women did too. Maybe my popularity was exploding.
As my inflated confidence sank back to reality, the embarrassment of what I’d asked sank in deeper.
Fuck this shit.
I wanted to bash my head against the wall.
Should I just run?
A flood of anxieties battered my mind like waves in a storm. What could I say to salvage this?
Maybe joke that I was kidding.
As I wrestled with those thoughts, Elfride spoke up, her voice still laced with anger.
“Me, like you? Ha, ridiculous. What made you think that? It hurts my pride. Do I really have to live hearing shit like this? I just want to die.”
Her long ear, visible beside her head, was flushed bright red. She was seriously pissed.
But was this really worth getting that mad over?
Just say no if it’s no.
Now I was getting pissed too.
“No, if it’s no, it’s no. Why blow up like that? It’s not like I asked something I shouldn’t.”
“You think I’m not pissed right now? You think we’re on the same level?”
“Level? What, because I’m the slave and you’re the master? A few hours from now, you’ll be the one getting whipped. That karma’s piling up on you.”
“What? Karma?”
She finally turned her head toward me.
Her face was flushed red with rage, eyes scrunched up in a way unlike her, brimming with what looked like tears ready to spill.
Was my mistaken assumption that she liked me really that infuriating?
Women’s self-esteem rises or falls based on who hits on them, I’d heard.
If a guy below their standards makes a move, they think, “Am I that easy that even this loser thinks he has a shot?”
And in this case, it was worse—the subpar guy straight-up asking if she liked him. No wonder she felt humiliated.
Even I was taking damage thinking about it.
So now I was getting angrier too.
“Hey, I didn’t say it out of nowhere. You’ve been all over me like that. Isn’t it because you like me?”
“What did I do!”
“You let me massage your body.”
A brief silence fell. One second? Two? Short, but in the heated moment, it felt suspicious.
Of course, Elfride’s shout broke it quick.
“That was a massage, idiot!”
“Yeah, a massage. But normally, do people let others rub their feet too?”
“…What?”
The lioness growling like a paw full of thorns suddenly deflated.
Seizing the chance to land a hit on this prickly, prideful elf, I kept talking.
“You thought I was some dumb Samaritan ignorant of this world’s customs, huh? I know plenty. Women don’t show their feet to just anyone. Showing me means you’re seducing me, right?”
“…No, it’s not.”
“Then what?”
“Feet are just body parts. No big deal showing them.”
“Oh yeah? So you show them to other guys too?”
“O-of course. You idiot, only an idiot says shit like that. Spouting off from a hole in your face doesn’t make it true.”
“You seem pretty flustered for that.”
“I’m not? Not flustered at all? You’re the flustered one, right? Why ask such nonsense out of nowhere?”
“Hide it better if your ears are twitching up and down.”
“My ears?”
Elfride touched her ears.
I drove the wedge in.
“Your ears move when you’re tense or flustered. You long-eared bitch.”
“What? Did you just call me long-ear? You uncultured barbarian shit? Long-eared bitch? You wanna die?”
“Yeah, prickly long-ear bitch.”
“You, I told you not to call me prickly! Time for some education!”
Unable to hold back, Elfride lunged at me.
Fists clenched, charging without a second thought—pure, head-to-toe rage.
Swish, whoosh—!
Her right fist, clenched tight, swung from right to left in a big arc toward my face. Weirdly, her movement looked slow and clear to me.
So I just tilted my head back a bit.
Whoooosh—!
Her fist grazed past my nose tip by a hair.
“Wha—?!”
Never expecting a miss, Elfride spun left like a top from the full-force swing. She lost balance and toppled toward me.
I didn’t miss the opening, wrapping her waist tight like a carnivorous plant.
Hatsan’s signature bear hug.
Squeezing hard, her spine joints cracked loudly.
“You’re not even prickly anymore. Weaker than bronze tier scrub. Keep this up, and I’ll ruin your life for real.”
“Urghhh, l-let go! Idiot! Let go! You fucking shit!”
Humiliated at being caught, her fists hammered my chest and shoulders like mallets.
It hurt, but compared to when she’d crushed me before and I’d begged, it was bearable.
I’d gotten stronger, and she’d weakened.
Thud, flap, thud.
But Elfride couldn’t accept it, flailing like a hen caught in a weasel’s jaws.
Holding her waist, I hoisted her over my shoulder and descended the stairs, parading through the clinic.
“…What? What’s going on?”
“Look at that. What’s he doing? Barbarian dragging a woman off by force?”
“Kidnapping? Should we call the guards?”
Her screams and my carrying her like luggage apparently smelled like crime to onlookers.
Casually, I dug one hand into my pants pocket and pulled out my jade adventurer’s ID.
“I’m Hatsan the Samaritan. Excuse us, folks. Urgent quest.”
People glanced at each other, muttering.
“Quest?”
“I’ve seen that guy. Pretty famous adventurer lately.”
“What, I thought some incident was going down.”
“L-let go! Let go! Someone, hit him! H-he’s kidnapping me!”
“Not kidnapping. On a quest.”
Murmurs rippled.
What to do.
Whatever, guards showing up means investigation—too annoying.
Famous rising adventurer these days—who’d commit a daytime crime in public?
Opinions swung my way.
If this were Calcata, her base, no chance.
But handling incidents in Sodomora had built my rep.
“Y-you idiots! Get this guy off me! Hurry—! Mmph—!”
I clamped her mouth shut with my hand, then asked the curious crowd.
“Any empty rooms? Need one for the quest. No harm to you all. I swear on my honor.”
Honor.
Did I even have that warm fuzzy thing? Still, I banked on Marko’s song of the kind Samaritan spreading around.
Big black burly guy hauling off a woman—urgent and scary. But if he’s Ma Dong-seok?
If actor Ma Dong-seok slung a woman over his shoulder saying, “Filming a movie—,” even I’d buy it.
I wasn’t on that level, but it worked anyway.
“Empty treatment room? Right corner down there!”
Someone shouted helpfully. Turning, a short-haired female healer stared, eyes sparkling with expectation.
“You’re Hatsan the Samaritan, right? Heard a lot. We’ve got a quest for our clinic. Got time later?”
“Ah—yeah, I’ll swing by another time to hear it.”
Still with Elfride slung over my shoulder like a sack, I entered the empty treatment room.
Closing the door, I saw a dim room with a couple beds, curtains drawn dark—just my style.
“Let go! I’ll set it on fire! I warned you!”
“Go ahead.”
I tossed the flailing Elfride onto the bed. She rolled off onto the floor.
“Aaack!”
Thud.
Didn’t expect her to hit the floor—kinda surprised me. Looked like she smacked her head; must hurt.
But that wasn’t important now.
“Stick out your foot.”