Chapter 155
Chapter 155
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 155
Chapter Title: Hassan and the Nine-Headed Thief #6
-----------------------------------------------------------------
“Th-there’s something about to jump out from below...!”
The Ditch Water Nymph Paranoya was terribly timid. So timid, in fact, that she couldn’t even take care of her personal business alone on a dark night.
She seemed to have a touch of paranoia too.
I felt sympathy for whatever hard life she must have lived to end up like that. But on the other hand, it was a bit of a hassle.
“So, you want me to hold your legs or something?”
“P-please, sir...! It really feels like it’s gonna burst, but it won’t come out...!”
The nymph’s clear voice was stained with fear and terror. No wonder it must be agonizing not to be able to relieve herself urgently.
“Hassan-sir—! Hngaaah...”
“Ugh, damn it.”
I’d just woken up, my mind still foggy. What the hell was I doing?
“Alright, then. I’m coming in.”
“Y-yes...”
Opening the barn door revealed Paranoya stamping her feet in distress. Her thighs twisted this way and that, her panic so evident it made me tense up.
What was I even doing right now? Well, the alcohol helped dull the self-loathing a bit.
“How exactly do you want me to hold your legs?”
“From behind like this... hugging both thighs and lifting them up... That’s how my mother used to hold me when I was little...”
Lifting her thighs from behind, huh.
Was that the position I was thinking of? If someone were in front, her business would be fully exposed.
“Then let’s hurry up and get back to sleep.”
Swish.
I hiked up the Ditch Water Nymph Paranoya’s rough gray robe up to her thighs.
Her calves and thighs were surprisingly slender and soft, but it just felt like looking at a little sister from childhood—no weird vibes.
Swish.
I grabbed both of her thighs from behind just like that.
“Hnngaaah!”
“Why are you making such weird noises?”
“Hassan-sir, your palms are so hot...!”
“Can’t help it. Bear with it.”
In contrast to my hot palms, Paranoya’s thighs were cooler than expected—smooth, silky, soft, and squishy.
A young girl felt this fragile and delicate, like she might shatter at any moment.
Splatter...
Still, this was pretty embarrassing.
Worried she might stay silent, but unable to stand it, I decided to change the subject and ask something random.
“Hey, just curious—how old are you?”
“I’m a Ditch Water Nymph, sir...”
I asked her age, not her type.
“No, I mean your age.”
“Ditch Water Nymphs live about as long as a small palm tree... Once they reach the age of a slightly bigger tree, they become Stream Water Nymphs...”
Ditch Water Nymph, Stream Water Nymph.
Nymphs and humans measured age very differently. I’d heard nymphs were long-lived, so despite appearances, she was probably past adulthood.
Not just nymphs—there were races in this world with lifespans far exceeding humans’. Elves, for example. Didn’t they live around 200 years on average?
Twice a human’s lifespan.
“Um... Hassan-sir.”
Having finished her business, Paranoya asked to be put down. As I glanced up casually, I heard rustling sounds in quick succession.
“Phew, all done now. Thank you, sir... It made me think of Mother...”
Mother, huh.
Paranoya occasionally mentioned her mother like this.
Nymphs were an all-female race, birthing only female nymphs, so her mother must have been a similar nymph.
“Mother was a kind person, sir.”
On the way back. Maybe sensing my thoughts on female nymphs, or perhaps just chatting, Paranoya prattled on.
“We lived hidden in a cave together. But one day, when Mother went out to gather fruit, she never came back...”
“I-I see.”
Her mother never returned one day. Moments ago, I’d felt lighthearted despite the lingering fuzziness, but now my heart grew heavy, like a lump of iron had been placed on it.
“Did... something bad happen to your mother?”
“No, I don’t think so, sir. My mother received Chaos’s Blessing... so her mind was a bit unstable... She probably just forgot the way back...”
“Chaos’s Blessing?”
The familiar term gave me a sense of déjà vu.
“...Chaos Eternal.”
Muttering softly under my breath brought up text before my eyes.
『Name: Hassan Lv. 22
Strength: 12
Agility: 4
Vitality: 61
Karma: 60
Grace: Chaos’s Blessing | Shining Hand | Night’s Cloak』
There it was—Chaos’s Blessing.
I asked.
“Do you know what Chaos’s Blessing is? Can you tell me about it?”
“I don’t know much, sir, but Mother said that long, long ago... in an era when gods, humans, and beasts weren’t distinguished. When the world was filled with emptiness like round, black eggs... Void. The primordial abyss...”
Paranoya trailed off mid-story.
Suddenly, she started sobbing.
“Hey, why are you crying all of a sudden?”
“I miss Mother...!”
Her cries grew louder, panicking me.
Had I asked something I shouldn’t have? To calm her down—and soothe myself—I pressed my thumb firmly on the Nei Guan point at the crease of her wrist.
“Ah, no—!”
Pressing this point helps those with heavy stress—it stabilizes the mind and body.
Ding-.
『Name: Paranoya Lv. 21
Status: Curse of Stunted Growth | Loneliness | Sugar Addiction』
Pressing her wrist pulse must have counted as pulse diagnosis. The text appeared, unchanged from last time. Loneliness and sugar addiction.
Was that loneliness item from the cave after her mother vanished? And could palm acupressure fix it?
Surprisingly, yes.
There’s a perfect acupressure point for crushing loneliness.
What a ridiculous, bullshit point. Back when I forced myself to learn it—nose ring if on the nose, earring if on the ear—it was laughable. Honestly, still kinda is. Feels like a scam.
“It hurts, sir...!”
I pressed firmly on the red blotch on her palm—the Lao Gong point.
It’s great for mental stability and digestion, so pressing it is always beneficial.
“Hnng! It hurts, it hurts, sir...!”
It shouldn’t hurt even with strong pressure, but Paranoya whined excessively. Maybe her small, delicate palm made her nerves more sensitive?
Then I remembered my strength stat had more than doubled since before. I couldn’t apply the same force as then.
Acupressure isn’t about brute strength.
Slide.
So I eased my grip more than necessary. Paranoya relaxed a bit.
“Haaa...”
At the same time, ding-.
『Healed Paranoya’s Loneliness status.』
『Karma Value +10』
『Current Karma Value: 70』
Karma went up nicely. Not bad for waking up in the middle of the night—decent harvest.
“Better now?”
“Since you held my hand, sir, I feel much better...!”
“Good. Let’s head back and sleep then.”
“Um, that is...”
But Paranoya fidgeted, like there was another issue.
“What now?”
“C-could you hold my hand a bit, sir? Just until we get back...”
Hand?
Was the loneliness from missing her mother not fully gone?
Well, human emotions don’t flip on a dime just from acupressure.
So I agreed to hold her hand back to the cabin. Moments that really evoked a little sister from childhood.
“Hassan-sir, your palm is so big...”
“Yeah?”
“It’s like Pluto from my childhood, sir...”
I was just walking casually when her unexpected mention of that name jolted me awake.
“You met Pluto?”
“It feels like a dream now, sir. But I definitely survived thanks to him. A man with big palms and build... black hair and eyes, just like you, sir...”
She met Pluto? Hard to believe. Anyway, did that man save her life once?
“So that’s why you became a cultist of Pluto?”
“Raising skeletons made it feel like I had lots of friends... But I’m no good at necromancy—best I could do was make a mud golem...”
What a bizarre reason to join a cult. Though, come to think of it, Earth’s cults preyed on emotional gaps too.
Sneaking into the hearts of the struggling, lonely, poor, and hard-pressed, deceiving them.
Even those who knew deep down it was wrong stayed—because only the cult treated them with respect.
Of course, exploiting the vulnerable makes cults and heresies scum.
Kinda funny hearing this from me, son of a quack health shop.
Anyway, the cabin came back into view. Better crash hard and prep fully.
Just then, Paranoya spoke up in a sly whisper.
“Hassan-sir, are you... not interested in necromancy...?”
“Necromancy?”
“You’re so amazing, sir—just say ‘arise,’ and it’d be enough...”
“Oh, ‘arise’... Yeah, sure, arise. What, you still got cult crap in your system? Need a smack to snap out of it?”
“Eek!”
As I clenched my other fist, Paranoya flinched and yanked her hand away, bolting up to the second floor.
Indeed, a dose of proper violence is great medicine for wayward souls in this world.
True physical therapy.
Miracle physical therapist Hassan...
I drifted back to sleep with such silly thoughts.
* * *
Next morning.
At the Mars Guild, Hippolyte waited for me and Luna, leaning against a pillar with arms crossed.
“Hippolyte, hi!”
“...Noxdoty. So energetic this morning. Something good happen?”
“I’m brewing Wildling potion! Once it’s done, it’ll be amazing! No more dragging to the bathhouse!”
“What potion? Ahem, anyway—today we investigate and inquire about the thieves’ guild as planned.”
Hippolyte briefly outlined the next steps.
“Their executives are all rumors, no sightings. Might turn into a month-long slog. Won’t be easy.”
But Luna seemed more interested elsewhere, peering at Hippolyte’s face.
“...Why stare like that?”
“Hippolyte, you did makeup! First time seeing you like this!”
“Ahem, well. Y-yeah. Don’t usually. No reason to.”
Hippolyte fidgeted, her armor clinking. Then she glanced my way—our eyes met.
I was stunned by her unexpectedly long lashes and subtle shimmer.
Caught off guard, I froze. Hippolyte averted her gaze, eyes darting.
“Anyway. Heard the Rose Company—or whatever they’re called—in Calcuta is already sniffing underground. Can’t slack off.”
Rose Company—probably Delphina, Elfriede, and their Silver Tier adventuring team.
They were competing with us to take down the thieves’ guild. If they moved, we had to as well.
Still, I had some leverage.
“About that, Hippolyte.”
“Wh-what? Samaritan?”
Hippolyte flinched at my call.
I thought I was overthinking the barn incident alone, but her reaction confirmed she was dwelling on it too.
Anyone would.
But this was official business. Could even threaten Hippolyte’s life.
Composing myself, I acted like nothing happened and shared what I’d learned yesterday.
“Here’s the deal. They’re targeting Gold Tier adventurers’ lives.”
Hippolyte furrowed her brow. The flustered girl from moments ago was gone.
She’d shown a human side lately, but as an adventurer on the cusp of hero rank, she clearly separated work and personal.
“Who knows this?”
“No one here but us.”
“Good. If it spreads, the guild’s already shaky rep hits rock bottom. My Mars Guild shares would tank too.”
“What? Hippolyte, you invested in Mars Guild?”
Luna yelped in disbelief. Hippolyte replied.
“Took guild stock as payment instead of cash. It’ll pay off big someday.”
“Mars Guild isn’t even public yet!”
“Soon. After we wipe out the thieves’ guild and I rack up more successful Gold Tier commissions.”
Luna and Hippolyte chattered about Mars Guild stocks for a while.
Not really my concern, so I tuned out—until Hippolyte turned to me as it wrapped up.
“So, thieves gather underground central street, guild buildings area. Any idea which Gold Tier they’re after?”
“Not sure...”
“Probably that idiot Actaeon. Parades in his underwear—looks like a fool everywhere. Total dimwit.”
Hippolyte hadn’t even considered herself a target.
Her pride wouldn’t allow thinking someone might see her as soft enough to target.
“Then we wait till evening.”
And so.
Time passed.
Evening.