Chapter 14
Chapter 14
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 14
Chapter Title: Iron Tier Adventurer Hassan
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It was the big-nosed bard Malco who spotted it first.
“There wasn’t anything like this yesterday. Did it get exposed when the statue broke during the goblin mess? What do you think, brother?”
Malco asked my opinion about the shattered statue and the bizarre sculpture inside it. As if I’d know.
I just narrowed my eyes and examined it carefully.
It was another statue inside the broken one.
Like a matryoshka doll, the ruined marble statue contained a fairly spacious hollow with a grotesque figurine inside.
It was a bit bigger than my palm—something you could call a statuette or figurine.
What kind of model was it?
Hidden behind fragments of the broken statue, it was hard to see clearly. It gleamed black, suggesting it might be valuable.
Luna, wearing her weird mask, shoved her massive head in and let out a hum before adding her two cents.
“Since it was hidden, it’s probably super valuable. Maybe treasure?”
“Sister, that makes a lot of sense. How about we pull it out and take a look?”
That’s when the big-nosed Malco reached into the statue.
“You damned fools! Don’t touch it! You’ll cause big trouble, you idiots!”
The old man, who’d just finished weeding over there, bellowed. We froze and turned toward him.
“Huff, huff… Touch that thing recklessly, and huff, you might bring down divine punishment.”
He looked like he might keel over before any punishment hit. He was that out of breath.
Still, his intensity wasn’t ordinary—it carried a hint of grim fervor or madness—so we had no choice but to heed him.
“T-This is…!”
The old man gaped at the smaller statue inside. Did he know something? Sensing the same hope as me, Malco asked.
“What’s wrong, old timer? Do you know something?”
“No, I don’t know!”
What the hell? He’s supposed to be a scholar, but he’s just a quack? As I grumbled inwardly, the scholar snorted and added more.
“I don’t know…! That’s why it’s so dangerous! I completed my doctorate in philosophy and theology too. I know everything about local relics and idols. But this form, this statue… I’ve never seen anything like it! How can this exist?!”
The scholar was half-mad. But he didn’t dare touch it, just stared wide-eyed from nearby.
I asked excitedly too.
“So it’s something amazing?”
“Amazing? You bet! At best, a rare relic—no, epic class? Hell, maybe even a legendary artifact!”
Legendary artifact?
I had no idea what that was, but with “legendary” attached and the scholar’s reaction, I got that it was incredible. I kept my mouth shut, figuring I’d get an earful if I asked what a legendary artifact was right now.
“Old timer, what’s a legendary artifact?”
The bard, who ignored others’ stares, asked for me.
“You ignorant punk, an adventurer who doesn’t even know artifact tiers! You kids these days… Listen up. Relics have five tiers. First are common relics. Just old antiques. Trash no one but collectors wants. The junk street peddlers sell.”
His explanation made me think of the mat sellers scattered around the city. They hawked broken pots or worn-out straw sandals as “relics.”
Honestly, I couldn’t understand sellers or buyers. Anyway, those were common relics.
“Second are rares, or masterpieces. Stuff nobles use to decorate rooms and gardens. Third are epic relics. From epic on, they have insane powers. Prices are astronomical. Iron-rankers like us could never afford to even look at them.”
Epic relic made my ears twitch. I’d once held the epic relic called Clefios’s Staff.
After that, my blessings unlocked, and I gained that weird massage ability. Epic relics were that precious?
Luna lifted her mask slightly, revealing her bare face.
“I know about epic relics. Like that fountain pen the guild used? The one that reads karma.”
“Pah, tsk.”
The scholar clicked his tongue at Luna’s question.
“That barely qualifies as epic, but yeah, close enough. Epic relics and up carry divine blessings. Then legendaries, and beyond them… I’ve only heard tales; never seen one myself.”
“So you’re saying this might be a legendary relic?”
I summed up my thoughts and asked. The old man crossed his arms and groaned.
“Not certain, but…”
“Then are legendary relics expensive?”
“Expensive? If it’s legit, it’d have huge academic value—priceless. You could get a whole pouch of gold coins!”
A pouch of gold coins!?
Holy shit, that exists?! I’d never even seen gold coins in this world.
A whole pouch? My shoulders shook with joy. Holy shit, I’m rich!! Retire right after adventurer debut!!
“Gold coins!”
“I can buy a new guitar!”
“I’ve wanted a new talisman!”
As everyone chimed in positively, Platan’s face somehow stayed grim.
“Old timer, gold coins, right? Shouldn’t you be happy? Why the long face?”
“You barbarians, this isn’t pure good news. High-tier relics hold immense mana. Enough to drag human lives to ruin! Touch it carelessly, and you’ll be cursed!”
Malco asked the spittle-flying old man.
“So you’re saying we can’t touch it?”
“With that black shape and being hidden inside… I suspect it was sealed. Temples sealed things in ancient times…”
Sealed? What ominous crap was that? My hardship-honed survival instincts prickled my neck.
“Old man, sealed what…?”
“No idea. Evil spirit maybe. Demon. Or something beyond us. Look at the shape. Doesn’t seem normal.”
I peered closely where his finger pointed. Obsidian-black exterior.
Like an octopus, or a bird with wings. Octopus-bird hybrid meditating on a box? Something like that.
“But old timer, Malco doesn’t believe in curses. Living beings shouldn’t fear mere objects.”
Thud.
“Shit!”
The fearless bard snatched the obsidian statuette from the broken statue.
We’d been on max tension from the scholar’s talk, so at his reckless move, we just cringed and screamed!
“You lunatic! What the hell?! It could be dangerous!”
“Heh heh, brother from afar, you’re more scared than you look. No need to fear. It’s just an object. Just an object. Just an object. Just an object. Just an object—”
“Shithead! You’re cursed!”
Malco hoisted the statue high, repeating like a parrot. He already seemed nuts, and now it was eerie—I flinched and shuddered.
“W-What do we do, old man?!”
“I-I don’t know! Separate him from it first!”
“Hassan, do something! I’m scared!”
Everyone stared at me. These bastards, all talk until it counts.
Shit, a cursed casualty on my first quest? Can’t start my career that spectacularly.
So with a whatever attitude, I smashed my fist into the big-nosed bard’s head as hard as I could.
“It’s just an object—oof!”
“You bastard! Snap out of it!”
Thwack, thwack, thwack!
Save him! Gotta save him!
With pure intent to value life, I pummeled his face full-force.
“No good! Everyone, stomp him!”
“Yeah! That’s best!”
“I’ll help!”
We trampled and kicked the downed bard. Looked like a one-sided lynching, but we were saving him. Probably.
Ding.
『Cured Low-level Mental Contamination status.』
『Karma Value +10』
“St-Stop… ughk.”
Only after a solid beating did he make human sounds.
“St-Stop… You trying to kill Malco…?”
“You bastard! You’re alive!”
*
“Suddenly my vision blacked out. Dizzy, like my brain twisted. Still hearing echoes in my head… H-Hey brother, ease up on the fists. Might actually die. I’m sane now!”
Malco shuddered recalling touching the relic. We’d turned his face into a bruised, bloody mess—truly a terrifying relic.
“Definitely cursed. Feels like a seal that shouldn’t be broken was…”
Platan muttered uneasily. We’d finished the temple cleanup ages ago but lingered, pacing anxiously.
Our eyes fixed on the bizarre statue on the grass.
Unsettling black shape. Felt like it hummed—woong-woong. Leaving it seemed wrong. Taking it? No way.
Stay and wait, send someone for bigwigs? That’s when we thought it.
“A-Alright. I’ll reseal it with my great disaster voodoo…!”
“Shut it.”
“Y-Yeah…”
No one had ideas, heads together or not. I’m an outsider; curses and magic still feel wondrous!
Our most reliable was the scholarly old man.
But he just groaned—ungh, urgh—no solutions. Looked like he was shitting.
“Old timer, you crapping your pants?”
“You punk! There is a way, sorta…”
“Really, old man?”
“Yeah, but impossible for iron-rank adventurers. Like the ideophe shaman said—reseal it.”
“Reseal how?”
“This is an ancient sun god temple. One with the sun god’s blessing might withstand its evil. Theory only, not sure. Plus, sun god blessed are rare even in Sodoma…”
Ting.
Sun god’s blessing?
I recalled my “Amateur Handiwork” blessing. The guild’s one-eyed guy said it came from the sun god.
Perfect timing?
I felt a strange premonition—me here, the statue, the blessing linked.
Like fate. A ray of light in darkness.
“Old man, I have the sun god’s blessing. What do I do?”
“W-What? A barbarian like you blessed by the sun god? No way an iron-ranker has one! You mad too?!”
“Explanation’s a hassle—tell me quick what to do.”
“Pushing an elder, you rascal. ‘Seal’ sounds grand, but I got no real plan. If you truly have a blessing… Touch it directly? Might work?”
Too casual? I gotta grab the curse-risk thing?
“Brother, if you lose it like me, I’ll punch you back double! Grab it, no worries!”
“Y-Yeah! I’ll help, Hassan! I can hit hard!”
I ignored my yelling comrades and approached the statue. Honestly, wouldn’t touch it for money.
But I could dispel curses and quirks now…
Plus, maybe imagination, but it felt like the statue called me since earlier. Seductively humming—woong-woong—like urging touch.
“Screw it, whatever!”
Grab.