Chapter 85
Chapter 85
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 16
Chapter Title: Love and Longing
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In the only room where I could be completely alone, I did a lot of thinking. I couldn’t even tell my master about this ability. So I had no choice but to think endlessly on my own. About how to control this ability, over and over.
‘For now, I need to relax my mind. Like closing my eyes... just relax, as if it’s the most natural thing...’
‘Come to think of it, I’ve heard those whispers before. But back then, I could control it somehow.’
If only I could block it with barrier magic and rune magic until my mind calmed down. But even if I set up a barrier that completely cut me off from the surroundings and cast spells, my detection ability didn’t disappear.
I hung my head glumly, buried my face in my knees, and kept racking my brain for a good solution.
It’s just reading minds, right? As long as I don’t tell anyone else, it’s fine. Am I overthinking this? I even had thoughts like that. Then I wouldn’t need to struggle so hard to control it.
But what about Inha? I’ve fought big with Inha before over something I didn’t say, so I didn’t want to keep my mouth shut and deceive her like that. If I could control this, it would just become ‘magic.’ I could say I’d gained the ability to use mind-reading magic. After all, such spells do exist.
However, my talent right now was completely uncontrollable. Voices pounded in my head like it was going to split open. I couldn’t think of it that way at all.
‘Mind-reading magic is one of the spells restricted by law in the first place...’
I felt guilt stab at my chest as I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them. It would be great if I could truly see this as nothing. If I could just brush it off as nothing.
‘...But yeah, I have to think of it as nothing.’
Only then could I relax my mind, and that would become the mental strength to control the ability. I resolved firmly to calm myself no matter what.
...But this wasn’t just a matter of mindset.
All those resolutions and focus were being steadily eaten away by the ringing in my ears.
I prioritized controlling the ability first. The problem was, to control it, I had to interact with people and hear their inner voices anyway. That was the only way to check the state of my control. With mana, I could check changes in mana flow, but since this ‘ability’ wasn’t magic, that didn’t work. It was like a physiological change. You couldn’t truly feel a physiological change without experiencing it directly. That was the reason.
Since I hadn’t told anyone about this ability, I had no choice but to use random strangers as test subjects. After school, I headed to places with few people to check and control the ability’s state. Like a quiet playground, for example.
The people who showed up at playgrounds were mostly kids. At first, I had to endure their innocent—or cruel—thoughts shoving relentlessly into my head.
“Mom, look at this!”
‘Ants keep moving even if you rip off their belly and head!’
‘I want ice cream.’
‘Sleepy...’
Parents’ inner thoughts were just as hard to bear, mixed with ugly noises. Like someone cheating on their spouse, or a parent taking out jealousy of another on their kid... Common stuff, but hard to stomach when you see and hear it directly.
Sometimes creepy perverts targeting kids would appear, and I’d call the police and run whenever I sensed them.
Controlling my suddenly grown detection ability was harder than I’d imagined. This abruptly awakened power didn’t just clutter my head with noise—it was terribly unstable too. Sometimes I’d even read thoughts from people out of sight. If you knew I could feel emotions from cats, dogs, trees, flowers—lifeforms like that—you’d understand my confusion. It wasn’t just sound; it was like indirectly experiencing all sorts of emotions through my whole body.
Still, I endured. Because when I concentrated fully to control it, I could feel the noise fading little by little. Very slightly, but control was starting to take effect.
And I learned that I couldn’t hear the thoughts of people stronger than me by a certain level. I discovered that when I met Auntie Seona.
“Oh my, Eunha! I heard you’ve been writing scenarios with Inha and not going out to play much! Inha’s feeling left out, so play with her sometimes, okay~.”
“...Mom, I’m fine.”
“......”
‘...Huh?’
I stared wide-eyed at Auntie Seona and Uncle Jeongmin in the living room. Mom and Dad’s thoughts, Inha’s thoughts—all came through clearly, but strangely, I couldn’t hear Auntie Seona or Uncle Jeongmin’s. That’s when I realized I couldn’t hear the voices of people stronger than me by a certain degree. This was about five days after the ability awakened.
Mages inherently have what’s called magic repulsion. It’s mana flowing unconsciously around the body, unnoticed even by themselves. The stronger the hidden mana, the stronger the outflow.
It was probably related to that. Their strong mana was unconsciously blocking me from reading their thoughts.
When I first realized this, I was overjoyed. I smiled at Auntie Seona genuinely for the first time in a while. Oh, by the way, the scenario excuse was just to avoid hanging out with friends.
“Oh? Eunha, you look kind of tired.”
“She’s been tired lately for no reason. Says she’s having bad dreams.”
“...Really? Oh, Eunha. Here, take some magic potion I made. This’ll make you feel better. It’s a pretty good fatigue recovery potion.”
“...Thank you.”
I really was worn out mentally and physically these days. I hadn’t done any other magic training for the past few days.
Looking at Auntie Seona and Uncle Jeongmin, I honestly felt hugely relieved.
If those two were examples, there’d be plenty of people around me whose thoughts I couldn’t read. If I could hear Mom’s, then starting from C-rank and up—Master, teachers, seniors...
Plus, thinking about it now, I was pretty lucky. Everyone around me liked me.
In that sense, maybe it was good that my magic skills got exposed after that terrorist incident. Kids originally didn’t have much fondness for me.
No one around me disliked me. Even hearing inner voices, I’d never heard clear hostility toward me, though friends or family sometimes badmouthed each other and soured moods. Friends, parents, older siblings—they always approached me with warm feelings. Of course, hurt feelings were inevitable sometimes... But since I could hear minds, I’d become more cautious and delicate with people emotionally. Not sure if that’s good or bad.
Anyway, I really was lucky. People around me thought warmly of me. Not many have that. If I’d only heard cold thoughts until now, I’d already be holed up in my room.
‘But why won’t this thing stay controlled? How can I...’
I trailed off, my expression clouding. Honestly, I’d never seriously pondered ‘control’ before. Because my mana always obeyed perfectly when I wanted.
‘Now that I think about it, my talent was no joke.’
I blinked. See, seeing mana colors is this easy. Seeing or closing it off—simple. But mind voices alone wouldn’t cooperate. Even trying to shut them, it felt like holes kept opening somewhere, leaking through...
Still, I focused my mind bit by bit on the sensation. My mind never truly relaxed, and as time passed, I grew mentally exhausted—but my concentration only intensified. It was nearly extreme focus. And then...
One day, when I met Master, I realized.
“Your detection ability has gotten even sharper.”
‘Her reflexes are way better than before. Her evasion judgment is nearly adult-level. Shame her body can’t keep up...’
Yes, it was a smaller, crackling voice than usual. But the scary part was hearing it anyway. While I’d been struggling to control it, my detection ability had terrifyingly advanced.
I still couldn’t hear Auntie Seona’s inner voice. But now hearing Master Mina’s meant I could hear everyone’s except one. This time, I despaired.
‘How can I...’
It felt like grabbing a rope, only for it to snap midway and plunge me into despair. The feeling of near-success turning to failure was more agonizing than just struggling forward. My whole body went limp, and for a moment, I didn’t know what to do. In that instant, the mental strength for control fled far away.
In that one moment, I ended up in a world twice as noisy and chaotic as when the ability first ran wild.
Still, I didn’t give up. But growing exhausted in this helpless situation was inevitable.
My chest felt tight. My head hurt. Emotions ransacked my mind chaotically. Nausea hit.
Such days continued. Before long, the only place I could barely relax was my room.
‘Doesn’t Eunha seem kinda different lately?’
‘She’s making these snappy faces.’
‘Has she finally become self-aware? Even that Eunha looks cool!’
‘But she hasn’t been hanging out with her usual playmates.’
I tried to keep going, but... it was getting harder to endure.
“Eunha, is something really up with you lately? Your complexion’s been awful.”
“Really...”
‘No way she’s hiding something, right?’
‘With her personality, she might...’
I started biting my nails from anxiety. No lesson entered my head. Headaches, throbbing gut, couldn’t even swallow food—sometimes vomiting—and the stress cycled...
As stress piled up from the repetition, even my control over viewing or moving mana started faltering. I noticed my worsening state more accurately than anyone. I thought if this kept up, my mana might explode. Yes... I might fall into what’s called a ‘runaway state.’
I got more anxious. My stomach burned and hurt more. I hated everything. I wanted to block my eyes, ears, mouth—do nothing. My head spun, mood was foul, mana unstable, anxious, jittery, tormented...
‘Don’t wanna go out. Don’t wanna go to school. Don’t wanna... see anyone...’
In the end, a month before break, I holed up in my room. I couldn’t take it anymore. Didn’t want to see Mom, Dad, anyone. Ideally, I’d recuperate in a quiet forest or hide alone where no one comes.
I locked the door and shut myself in. I set up barriers in the room. Exhausted, I didn’t want to see anyone’s face, didn’t even think about others worrying. Finally, I heard nothing. I wrapped myself tight in blankets, closed my eyes. It felt like peace after years. I fell into sweet sleep just like that.
Seasons shifted from summer to fall, fall to winter. And before the incident, from around fall, everyone who knew Yoo Eunha had somewhat noticed something was off with her.
The child’s changes happened gradually but markedly. One day she seemed uneasy, and day by day her face grew pallid. At first, she just clutched her head saying she had a headache. Seeing her pale expression, everyone thought lightly, ‘Is she sick?’ But it worsened steadily, and soon she zoned out so much she barely heard friends’ voices. She’d respond ‘Huh?’ only after repeated calls.
“Eunha’s been weird lately, right?”
At Joo Minhee’s words, all the friends nodded.
“Yeah.”
“Seems sick or maybe troubled...”
Then it happened. Or should it be called ‘it happened’?
One day, far too abruptly for them, Yoo Eunha holed up in her room and wouldn’t come out. Kang Inha, among the friends, learned first. Thinking Eunha was later than usual, she went in and asked why. Turns out she wouldn’t come out of her room.
“Eunha? Why?”
“Dunno. No answer when I call... and she’s set up magic barriers. Tried some spells, but they won’t break, and forcing it might hurt Eunha...”
Kang Inha approached Eunha’s door after hearing that. Reaching out, sparks rejected her. Cleverly, the door was locked, and the whole room was nearly dimensionally isolated with barriers. Inha frowned.
“Why all of a sudden...”
“Dunno. I thought she seemed unwell lately, but is that why? Was just thinking of calling Seona...”
“Mom and Dad are out for work today. Won’t be back for days.”
“Yeah, seemed like it. What now? Call them right away?”
Inha shook her head first. She calmly assessed the situation.
‘But would Eunha hole up like this for no reason?’
Inha asked Han Mirae.
“Was the barrier up suddenly this morning?”
“Yeah.”
“No warning at all?”
“Nope.”
“Maybe... something happened?”
“Something’s probably up. She wouldn’t do this otherwise.”
Inha nodded too. She wouldn’t forget class and hole up without reason.
“What about the window?”
“Curtains drawn. Barrier covers the whole room, so windows won’t open.”
“......”
Inha pondered. Eunha never skipped school lightly, was punctual with times—except that one mana depletion faint.
For such a kid to hole up like this...
“Magic-related?”
“Auntie thinks so too.”
It was the first day, unprecedented, and Eunha was usually diligent, so they didn’t sense big danger. They trusted her casually and probed for reasons.
“Obsessed with magic training?”
“Or can’t stop training for some reason...”
No way to communicate anyway. Missing one school day was fine. Inha and Mirae decided to wait for Eunha to come out. Forcing the barrier could burden the caster—that’s why they didn’t pry the door. With Kim Seona and Kang Jeongmin—high mages—out, it was unavoidable.
Afterward, Inha went to school without much worry. She figured it wasn’t serious. She had baseless confidence that Eunha would be fine.
Like how Eunha protected them in the terror attack. Or repelled that creepy adult mage on her own.
Eunha would surely handle everything.
At school, Inha arrived later than usual due to Eunha, so Park Hansu was already there. He looked puzzled at Inha alone.
“Eunha?”
“Eunha’s not coming today, or coming late.”
“What? Why?”
“Dunno. Holed up with barriers on her room door. No answer, seems magic training issue. Can’t force-break it.”
“Oh?”
Hansu found it odd but accepted. Otherwise, no explanation for Eunha skipping.
Eunha’s mom had apparently notified school she was sick. Hearing that, kids in her fan club buzzed.
“She looked ill lately...”
“Yeah.”
Anyone watching could tell Eunha’s recent pallor. That’s when Inha first felt foreboding. Not just her—Park Hansu beside her too. Joo Minhee and Kim Hyunho felt it watching classmates whisper about Eunha’s absence.
After class, the three went to Eunha’s. Parents were out. Room still barred.
“But what’s she doing that she won’t come out?”
“Dunno.”
“Yeah, curious. Didn’t expect still shut in.”
“Worried too...”
At Hyunho’s words, they fell silent. Then Inha turned to Minhee.
“Minhee, can’t you check with delay magic?”
Everyone looked at Minhee. She shrugged and shook her head.
“No way. Eunha’s barrier’s special. It’s her magic domain—no one casually invades. Weaker than her, impossible for me. Even stronger ones struggle.”
They exchanged looks and decided to wait. No choice. Even that night, Eunha didn’t emerge.
Not just that night. A day passed, two, four—no movement. She had to eat, drink, use bathroom for training. Yet no exit. Barriers should weaken from mana drain after that time—no sign.
Only then did they realize something was wrong. Anxiety from day two, by day four, they decided to check forcibly.
But kids were weaker than Eunha, and breaking might affect her—especially such a strong barrier.
So they called reinforcements: Inha’s mom, Kim Seona.
Returning home after days, she rushed over hearing Eunha hadn’t emerged in four days. Seona lightly tapped the barrier, face grave.
“Pretty strong barrier. Might match C-rank magic.”
“C-rank?!”
Han Mirae looked stunned. Seona said calmly.
“Eunha first used D-rank last year. With mana depletion, edging into C-rank isn’t impossible. Plus, that mage she beat was upper C-rank.”
“But... C-rank at that age?! Even you weren’t that, Seona.”
“Yeah. Eunha’s growth might surpass imagination.”
Seona smiled bitterly, then glared at the barrier.
“She must’ve poured a lot into this. Not emerging four days after— not normal. I get why you waited. Breaking casually could affect her.”
“What on earth happened to that child suddenly...”
“Dunno. Step back.”
Seona pushed Mirae aside with one arm. Mirae paled, sensing spell prep.
“What’re you planning?”
“Freeze the barrier, just punch through the door. Minimal impact on Eunha.”
“...Got it.”
Kids listened anxiously to the adults. Eunha was beyond, no food or water. Mirae bit her lip. Should’ve called Seona day one.
“Eunha...”
Inha clasped hands, trembling worriedly. Hansu placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. She calmed slightly, glancing at him anew.
Seona’s magic activated. It froze exactly door-sized. Crackling, the ice shattered. Seona gripped the knob, unlocked magically, flung open.
Whoosh!
“...?!”
Right after, Seona’s eyes widened. Mana stormed beyond like a gale. Objects whirled. Dazzling silver and mystical blue mana filled it. No hostility, but plenty threatening.
“Eunha!”
Kids startled but rushed near. They saw the mana storm extending from Eunha’s body, swirling.
Creak—the door began closing slowly. Barrier self-repairing. Seona reached but hesitated, lowered hand.
Bang! Door slammed. Click—locked. Barrier restored, silence.
“What...?”
“Worst case...”
Seona muttered head down. All stared up blankly.
“That’s... right before mana runaway.”
Mirae swallowed, staring at the door. Kids’ eyes widened.
‘Mana runaway...?!’