Chapter 83
Chapter 83
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 83
Chapter Title: 16. Love and Admiration
-----------------------------------------------------------------
It was a stroke of great luck that the incident happened during vacation. Even after it was resolved, I couldn’t bring myself to go outside for a while due to lingering anxiety. Even with the firm assurance that all memories of me had been completely erased from that man’s mind, anxiety was still anxiety.
The teachers and seniors left once Mom and Dad returned, but that meant my friends had to stick by my side until I calmed down. They didn’t just hang around—they stayed at my house for days on end. Fortunately, the kids seemed to enjoy it.
After that, I was showered with extreme overprotection for a while. Dad, Auntie Seona, Mom, Master— all the adults close to me felt terribly sorry toward me for a time. Even though it was never their fault. But I was so happy that they worried about me that I leaned into their care.
It was truly a quiet time. I slept, woke up to eat or use the bathroom, and otherwise just passed the time in silence. Uncharacteristically, I didn’t touch the computer, read books, or train. Even amid my lively chattering friends, I barely spoke. I simply let the days pass quietly.
About a week later, my mind had settled enough that I finally felt like doing something. The first thing that came to mind was an idea I’d had before.
“Hey, kids.”
“Yeah?”
“Wanna go to the observatory and look at the stars?”
At my first suggestion to go out in ages, the kids stared at me blankly with wide eyes, then their faces lit up with joy.
The kid who’d barely spoken since the incident and stayed cooped up inside was finally in the mood to go out. It was only natural that everyone was thrilled. Minhee grabbed my hand with a beaming smile.
“Sounds good! Let’s go. Right now!”
But I slowly shook my head.
“No, not right now. Let’s go at night.”
“At night? Why? Isn’t night kinda scary?”
“Ehh. Still, night’s better. And night... isn’t really scary.”
I said that with a smile. I’d never been afraid of the night itself. Night felt scary only because of people, not the night.
“The sky is so pretty.”
I’d loved the sky since my past life. My dream was a starry sky, so of course I loved that, but really, it wasn’t just about stargazing—I loved the entire sky. Starry skies were great, the moon hanging in the sky was great, the blue daytime sky that changed with the seasons, the dawn sky where sunlight first peeked from the horizon, morning skies, the soft crimson afternoon sky, the evening sky where sunset faded into night—they were all wonderful. Any sky, no need to categorize, I loved them all. Except overcast skies. Those weren’t really skies; they were clouds blocking the sky.
But the kids interpreted my feelings like this.
“You really love stars, huh.”
That wasn’t wrong either. I smiled shyly.
And so, around evening, we all headed to the observatory together with our parents. We’d reserved in advance. We’d learn how to observe stars through the observatory program, look through telescopes at the sky, and check out star observation photos.
Summer constellations. Truthfully, my favorite were the winter ones. The first constellation I could make out was Orion. That was probably why.
But once we stepped outside, my body instinctively shrank back. It was like reflexively wary of people around me. Family and friends were fine, but strangers weren’t. Every passerby’s presence hit my senses with extreme sensitivity. Mana flows and emotional flows read themselves automatically. It felt like my detection ability, honed from hyper-vigilant anxiety, was beyond my control. The sensations hit sharper and more brilliantly than before, making my heart pound with tension. Without realizing, I gripped Inha’s hand tightly.
But I wasn’t alone, so, yeah, it was okay. My heart raced and my body tensed, but I wasn’t alone. Plus, with emotions visible, it was even more okay. The feelings from strangers walking up the path toward us unknowing folks like us were mostly indifferent and numb. That very indifference reassured me. Even if they showed interest, it was curiosity toward the cute kids—my friends, not me.
But above all, the emotions from everyone around me warmed me. The pulse felt in their hands, the eyes looking at me wholeheartedly. Affection so strong it made their chests ache. Even in summer, my cold heart slowly regained its warmth. I let out a slow sigh of relief. Feeling the cold sweat on my hand, Inha turned to me worriedly.
“You okay?”
I nodded slowly with a smile. I couldn’t fully let go of tension toward strangers yet, but it was bearable. I suddenly understood how trauma forms toward people. If I’d had to endure this alone, I would’ve developed trauma too.
We walked up the mountain path to the observatory. Even though it was night—no, precisely because it was night—people swarmed the place.
Shrinking a bit, I held everyone’s hands and entered the building.
Honestly, my feelings were complicated.
I’d never had social phobia despite being shy, so I never imagined a day would come when I’d blindly fear people around me. I patted my chest and took a small deep breath.
But once inside the building, I forgot all that. After all, it was about seeing the stars I loved enough to make my dream world. Seeing the pretty star photos on the walls lifted my mood right away. Following the guide, we watched the planetarium show the universe, learned to find constellations, and peered through telescopes at beautiful planets, stars, and galaxies. It was stunning.
That said, I preferred gazing endlessly at the vast starry sky under the open heavens over scrutinizing planets through a telescope. On the observatory roof, we chatted about this and that. I quietly looked up at the sky while listening to everyone’s voices.
Yeah, all the events with that man were finally over. It was a realization and a certainty.
Even after he vanished, fear kept me paralyzed for a while. Mind and body utterly exhausted, I hadn’t wanted to do anything. But yeah, it was already over. So I’d forget. Slowly, gradually, I’d forget.
As a mage, such incidents might happen again someday. But at least, it wasn’t in the immediate future.
This incident was done.
The tension in my chest slowly melted away. That man’s voice and face gradually faded from my mind.
I had finally returned to everyday life. Nights and days passed a few more times, and my heart fully settled. I’d occasionally peer intently out the window, but that was it. Outside the window was the usual nothing.
A few days later, once I’d stabilized, my friends went home relieved. Still, during the remaining vacation, I avoided going out much. I’d always been more of an indoor type anyway.
That led me to ramp up my magic training. I used all sorts of virtual systems for magic practice. In virtual spaces or barriers with altered time flows, I experimented freely with magic.
Other times, I played computer games, read books, or wrote game scenarios at Master’s request. Most of all, I’d delayed novel updates, so readers were super worried. After agonizing, I posted a notice and apology about the accident causing the delay. Comments flooded in with concern. Moved, I dove into serializing with renewed vigor. After that, the reader ‘Rex’ never showed up again.
It was a short vacation. The incident made it feel even shorter.
On the first day of school, I got up early, finished preparing, and stared at my slightly tense reflection in the mirror.
‘Will... the kids look at me with those burdensome eyes again...?’
A timid thought. But those gazes were hard to fully get used to. I sighed.
“Well. No use overthinking it.”
But ultimately, I loved Daehyeon. The school where I could learn magic with friends and meet so many precious people. Now I could understand Unnie Eunhee’s dream of becoming a school guard. After the Black Jaguar terror incident, just thinking “What if I hadn’t come to Daehyeon” made my heart sink. I was truly glad I’d come here. That much was certain.
I put on my uniform, tied my hair, checked for anything off in the mirror, and smiled faintly. At school, I’d see teachers and seniors after so long. That thought made my heart flutter. Smiling, I turned away.
The school I returned to after so long buzzed with excitement overall. Probably because it was the opening ceremony. Kids noisily chatted about vacation trips. Or those who’d lounged in their rooms lamented boredom. Or rejoiced at reuniting with friends.
I opened the classroom door and stepped in. Entering a bit later than usual with Inha, all eyes turned to me in an instant.
I tensed and shrank back. Not fully over the stalker incident, my hypersensitive senses swept the room. My whole body sharpened, the surroundings filling with colors. Mana colors, emotion colors felt and seen far more richly and vividly than usual. Before I knew it, my body sensed the kids’ emotions. Ah, my magic had gotten stronger again. I realized absentmindedly.
I flinched briefly, then excused it inwardly. This wasn’t trauma; it was reflexive tension from unwonted attention after so long. I’d thought reactions would’ve died down post-vacation, but this showed otherwise. As Inha and I moved to our seats, someone rushed up to me.
“Hello! Long time no see, Eunha-nim!”
It was Kang Yesl, greeting me with a bright smile. Then Siha, following behind, met my eyes, quickly looked away, and greeted awkwardly with an uncomfortable expression.
“Uh, long time...”
Honestly, it felt bittersweet. It hadn’t been that long since we’d parted ways. I’d vaguely imagined a day when we could greet casually again. But it came too soon; the situation felt utterly unfamiliar.
The silver lining: even as fan club vice president with Yesl, Siha didn’t use formal speech with me. I sighed inwardly and greeted normally.
“Yeah, hi.”
Then the other kids all greeted us loudly. Embarrassed, I returned loud greetings. Inha and I hurried through the squealing kids to Hansu’s side. Hansu, ears covered and frowning, saw us and relaxed.
“You’re late today?”
“Yeah. Kinda happened that way.”
Sitting, I scanned the room uncomfortably, then met Hansu’s eyes and grinned widely. Seeing that, Hansu smiled as if relieved. Suddenly, I sensed something off in his smile. What? I widened my eyes.
“...?”
Just now, yeah, something looked different from usual... An illusion? My oversensitivity playing tricks? As I stared at Hansu, he looked puzzled.
“What? Something wrong?”
“Huh? No... nothing...”
I shook my head. Then Hansu greeted Inha, sitting beside me.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
And I widened my eyes for real this time. Whoa? They just greeted normally? Totally, no emotional exchange, just plain greetings?!
I whipped my gaze between them in shock. But they seemed weirded out by my reaction. Inha asked.
“What’s up?”
“You guys...”
I opened my mouth with a strangely disappointed feeling. They’d been so cute bickering, when did they get like this...
“You’ve gotten really close...”
What?! They glared at each other and yelled in unison.
““Absolutely not!!!””
“Guess spending over two weeks together does that...”
“Couldn’t be helped. Mom left you with me.”
“So clashes lessened... and you got close.”
““...””
They glared again but this time fell silent instead of arguing. They must realize it themselves. Of course, they’d always been friends. Bickering was habit or personality clash; their bond was always good. They’d always seen each other fondly within the friend category. But silence meant my words were true—they’d grown closer.
They glared, then huffed and turned away. A familiar sight. So normal it made me laugh.
Watching them bicker oddly made me sleepy. Soon Minhee and Hyunho burst in to greet our class happily, but I quietly closed my eyes.
My mind drowsily sank into sleep. Surroundings felt hushed. Silence flowing into slumber. ...Then, a voice came.
‘...’
‘...!’
It started as whispers. But not through ears... more like resounding directly in my chest, my mind.
‘...Look. So cute...!’
‘How didn’t I notice before?’
‘Eunha-nim sleeping is cute too...’
Rose-tinted glasses... no, what?!
My mind snapped awake at the embarrassingly sweet words. I jerked my head up. But looking around, the kids were just quietly silent, no words. Puzzled, I frowned.
“...Why’s it so quiet...?”
It felt weird. Break time, yet why so silent? My sleepy small voice echoed through the whole classroom.
Shocked by my unexpectedly loud voice, I shrank. Felt like everyone stared, senses sharpening. Amid visible felt emotions, a rustling sound prickled. As my mind blanked from the sensation, Minhee spoke.
“It was noisy, but kids shut up on their own.”
“Why...?”
“‘Cause you were sleeping.”
Whoa... my influence hadn’t dropped at all...
Drowsiness lingering, I blankly scratched my head. Huh? But then...
“But you waking up suddenly scared us bad.”
“Yeah. Probably spooked everyone?”
“But... no one talked while I slept?”
“Huh? We whispered, why?”
Huh? Then that convo was a dream? No way they’d use ‘-nim’ for me. I brushed my fallen hair. Then flinched, covering my mouth with both hands.
‘Oh god, I dreamed the kids thought I was cute?! Well, they did in the dream, but...’
Embarrassed, I flopped face-down on the desk. Wanted to writhe in self-reproach, but stayed silent instead.
──Yeah. It didn’t appear too abruptly.
Opening ceremony meant early dismissal. Master messaged the game was done, so come check the status and train. I headed straight there without hesitation. Master waited with tea prepared.
“Hello, Master. Long time no see.”
“Hmm...”
“What’s wrong?”
“No, I heard you call me ‘Master’ in front of the kids, but you don’t with me.”
My face flushed hot. I don’t usually show expressions so openly, but hiding it over a year amplified the impact. Master burst out laughing.
“Uh, um, th-that...!”
“It’s fine. ‘Master’ has a classic, cool ring to it.”
But I kept my head down, face red for a while. Master smiled at me fondly. What... I don’t hate being treated like a kid, but...
“Anyway, shall we begin?”
“Yes!”
I trained long under Master for the first time in ages. From evasion to sparring. Not just magic—moving mana precisely for attacks. With my mana control, even without spells, I could defend, attack to a degree, manifest colors, and shape forms like molding magic.
Too big a skill gap for direct sparring with Master, but since advancing to fourth year, we did hardcore virtual training together. Master led, but I assisted her virtual journeys somewhat.
In the sparring, I fully opened my senses voluntarily for the first time in a while, sensitively feeling everything around. My detection had grown immensely—copying magic, seeing emotion colors clearly. Honestly, my mana control and detection were exceptional talents even by my standards.
Then... a strange feeling hit.
“...?”
A keening noise rang in my head. Unknown info flooded my mind at once. Come to think, last time I’d voluntarily maxed detection like this was ages ago. Suddenly cranking casual use to full sensitivity felt different?
But it was like gears spinning wildly... something alien flying into my chest. Dodging an incoming attack lightly, I placed a hand on my chest amid the discomfort.
[Eunha? What’s wrong?]
“Ah, nothing.”
I snapped out of it at Master’s words. Refocused on the fight ahead.
Dodging attacks, I widened my eyes in surprise. Weird. Attack flows, trajectories entered my mind crystal-clear without thought. Time slowed. I moved following sensations. Truly bizarre. Even the mage’s movements felt predictable via mana breathing.
I swiftly downed the opponent. Virtual training ended. I returned to reality.
“...”
A profoundly strange, mystical sensation. I blankly stared at my hands. Master’s voice came.
“Well done. You’ve gotten much more used to it.”
“...”
“Eunha...?”
“Ah, yes!”
I jerked my head up. Master scanned me worriedly.
“Are you tired perhaps...?”
Ah... maybe. I thought, brushing my hair.
“Seems so. Can I head home and rest?”
“Yeah. Do that. You tend to overdo it, so pace yourself.”
“Yes...”
After parting with Master, I took a walk to clear my head before going home. That sensation lingered around my body. Is this what it’s like when a sensation clings? Ears rustled faintly; even without opening my vision, mana flows were somewhat visible. Fully ignoring hid them, but felt like slight light leakage.
Plus... people seemed whispery today.
Whisper whisper
Murmur murmur
Whispering about me? But looking around, they weren’t even looking. Often not even talking. Felt off. Just tired? Sometimes ears ring with nothing sounding. Maybe that.
Feeling energy drain rapidly, I got home. The murmurs didn’t fully stop even inside.
“Ah, Eunha. Back?”
“Mom. I’m tired, gonna nap.”
“...? Okay, but don’t sleep too long. Won’t sleep at night.”
“Yeah...”
It finally faded once I shut myself in my room. I sighed softly, closing my eyes. Darkness swiftly eroded my mind.