Chapter 56
Chapter 56
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 56
Chapter Title: 11. Teacher and the Child
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Truthfully, I don't particularly like real sparring excluding the virtual kind, but this time I was interested. Even I can see that I don't seem to have any talent for combat. Well, that's obvious, of course. In contrast, these kids seem to have a ton of talent. Teacher Junhwi and Teacher Min, who occasionally visit Master's house, have said as much several times without fail.
So, I wanted to see these kids spar. Even setting aside the issue of talent, my friends are around the same level as me in magic, and they've just started learning combat as well. Watching my friends spar—still not too far ahead of me—or sparring with them myself might help me grow a bit faster. Especially when it comes to combat training, maybe I could pick up something?
"So, who wants to go first?"
We decided the sparring order with rock-paper-scissors ladders. The result: first up were Inha and Hansu. Inha and Hansu... I broke into a cold sweat watching the two of them glaring at each other with serious expressions even before it started. Um... you guys don't have to take it so seriously, do you?
A virtual system unfolded centered on Inha and Hansu. We rang the start bell from beyond the glass wall.
"3! 2! 1! Begin!!"
The moment Minhee shouted, Inha launched straight into an attack. Honestly, no matter how I thought about it, Inha was an attack-type mage. A textbook combat mage, at that.
"Whoa! Right from the start!"
"Shield of Vines!"
But that light was soon swallowed by the wooden vines that filled Hansu's front. The trees grew further as they absorbed the light. Well... light can be nourishment for plants too. Depending on the properties, of course.
Several branches from the trees that had grown and covered Hansu's front shot straight toward Inha. Inha used light to move at high speed from there.
She dodged the vine attacks, and burned the ones she couldn't avoid with the heat of light. Not all of them, but some were possible.
Then, at some point, the trees' form changed. The leaves began scattering black light around. Inha's expression hardened.
The light scattered around Inha gradually faded. I could see the reason with my eyes. Darkness was overtaking the domain of light.
Wow! Seriously! I couldn't help but exclaim in admiration. Hansu was originally a light-attribute mage!! Well, since it's the same light, Inha's is stronger!
Hansu grabbed one of the tree trunks. It shot up following his hand and soon took the form of a sword. It was a sword with a somewhat blunt blade. Hansu wrapped mana around the wooden sword and swung it.
"Hat!!"
I watched it with a gaze like I was entranced. Seriously, is this how kids' spars are supposed to be?
But Inha's light power had weakened, though her body was still free. Inha extended her hand straight toward the sword flying at her. Lightning shot out from that hand.
Pajijijijik!
"Ugh...!"
Hansu overlaid mana in front of the lightning. That blocked the lightning's attack. But the mana properties around the trees began changing once more. Hansu's best matchups were plant, light, and fire attributes. Flames swirled around Hansu's sword.
The lightning extending from Inha's hand took form. It turned into the shape of a sword. Inha coated the lightning sword with light mana. The two powers extended out.
Boom!!
The two clashed head-on, then bounced away from each other like they were repelled, falling. Ah, that has to hurt! Hansu shouted. I put on a panicked expression.
"You two okay?!"
"That was super flashy..."
"You guys didn't go too hard, did you?"
Amid my worry and Minhee's scolding, Inha silently brushed off her body and stood. Hansu grimaced as he stood too. The two were more fine than expected. Because they harbored no 'hostility.' Magic follows the user's will. If you use magic intending to harm the opponent, the attack leaves a wound, but otherwise, no serious injuries occur. You can even restrict the mana’s attribute characteristics with the user's intent.
"I'm fine."
"It stung, but really okay?"
"Yeah. No problem."
Despite fighting so fiercely, the two emerged from the glass wall after the spar with no hostility or anger toward each other. They just looked at each other with eyes full of competitive spirit. Sparks seemed to fly from that gaze.
"Um... next up is me and Eunha, then?"
"Yeah. Let's have a good one."
"Hansu, you gonna be able to spar with me next time?"
"This much is no problem? And this was inside the virtual system. Look, all the wounds are already gone."
"Oh, right."
Listening to Hansu and Hyunho chatter, Minhee and I entered side by side. Standing at an appropriate distance, I looked at Minhee with tense eyes. In contrast, Minhee's eyes sparkled with excitement. I casually loosened my wrists.
'Sparring, sparring.'
When sparring, when sparring with someone I know, my biggest, biggest problem is...
I took a deep breath. Can I attack? Me. I won't screw up... the attack. This is virtual space, after all. I repeated deep breaths.
I know it best. I'm not suited for fighting. A normal girl who gets scared before a fight even starts. Why wouldn't I? Fighting scares me. Me getting hurt, hurting others—both scare me. But training is necessary. Sparring is necessary for training. I acknowledged that fact.
"Alright then, Eunha. Let's have a good one."
"...Yeah."
Unlike me, I'd heard Minhee had outstanding talent as a combat mage. Like Inha or Hansu. Actually, more than Hansu, Minhee was said to excel as a combat mage. Everyone except me has incredibly outstanding talent as mages who will fight in this world. Brains, magic talent, combat talent, genetically manifested physical talent—they had most of it.
Me, I'm average in brains, no combat or physical talent. I know that best. If I have anything outstanding, it's the mindset from my adult experience and sensitivity to mana. That's what brought me this far.
"3!" Someone outside started the countdown. I overlaid a barrier around my body. It showed no visible difference and wasn't visible.
"2!" I gathered mana around me. Took combat stance. Expanded my field of vision. The colors of surrounding mana started becoming vivid.
"--1!"
Start! Sparring begins!
The moment the count ended, Minhee charged at me. I jumped back once. Minhee thrust her fist. Red projectiles flew from there.
The red projectiles exploded in front of my eyes, creating a whirlwind of flames. I used attribute magic. Cold water extinguished the flames in an instant. But the water I created ended up blocking my vision for a moment.
Minhee didn't miss that instant's gap and kicked at me. It was infused with mana. Panicking, I teleported.
Before Minhee could charge my new position again, I deployed illusion magic. Ice shard-like mist scattered around. Pitch-black darkness enveloped the surroundings. Minhee was a rare neutral-attribute mage. She had all attributes equally and could use them equally. But that meant no outstanding attributes either.
Minhee couldn't beat me in darkness attribute. I gradually compressed the darkness. But Minhee passed through it unfazed.
"...!!"
Only then did I notice Minhee's eyes gleaming strangely.
"I can... see."
Minhee's magic was perception magic. Mine was illusion. My illusions already affect the brain with 50% probability. But Minhee's perception magic grasps all surrounding information. My illusion magic doesn't work on Minhee. Well... not until I make it 'materialize' for real.
Actually, I should have used real darkness magic when I attacked just now. That would have been right. But I didn't because, among attribute magics, darkness magic has tremendous attack power. Because of my fear of 'what if,' I held back on the advantageous choice.
Minhee quickly closed in on me. The scene of her fist extending somehow looked slow. Projectiles scattered around Minhee. I watched her with a barrier around my body. Suddenly, something flashed through my mind. All or nothing—I locked eyes with Minhee.
Our gazes met.
My vision felt like it was darkening. My mind being sucked inward, Minhee's eyes blanked for an instant. I didn't miss that moment.
The barrier curved round and bound Minhee's body. I extended my hand and spat out mana without attributes.
"Wak!"
Minhee's body flew. I used barrier magic. A soft barrier caught Minhee's body.
"Ah, what the~."
Minhee grumbled. I placed a hand on my pounding heart and caught my urgent breath.
--It was just an instant.
I returned to my bright expression and looked at the grumbling Minhee.
It was astonishing. How could I believe this was a child's skill? In that instant, Minhee targeted my opening and attacked. I had just witnessed overwhelming combat sense, that talent, right before my eyes.
"I lost again, huh. Hehe."
I blankly watched Minhee's back as she left the sparring room, then followed.
Judging purely by combat skill... I'd be overwhelmingly defeated. I clenched my fist. The pounding in my chest wouldn't stop.
"I heard you sparred with the kids?"
After finishing combat training, panting heavily, Master said that to me. I looked up at her. Recalling that situation, my expression clouded a bit. But at the same time, I felt proud. I'd thought they were still little kids who couldn't catch up to me yet, but when did they grow so much?
"Yes. I did."
"How was it? Those kids have outstanding senses as combat mages, unlike you, right?"
At those words, I smiled brightly. Master looked slightly surprised.
"Of course. How great are they? Magic talent, combat talent, all outstanding, personalities too, smart without a single flaw... Hyunho's a bit iffy, but still..."
I flinched mid-sentence. I got excited talking about my favorite friends. I glanced at Master. She had her head slightly bowed, seemingly lost in thought.
"You won, right?"
She asked, staring straight at me. I nodded. In the end, I beat Minhee, Inha, Hansu, and Hyunho. But... Inha didn't attack me seriously, and above all, my barrier magic was unexpectedly sturdy. The kids' attacks didn't land as expected. And if I targeted openings with illusions, it was over.
"What did you think after winning?"
I recalled that sensation. But unlike me, who stayed mostly in place, my friends all aggressively attacked. They scattered attacks in various ways. I blocked them and waited for openings. We really were so different. True growth comes from kids like them, who look straight ahead and charge forward without fear.
"Yeah... combat mage still doesn't suit me, I think."
"...Even after winning?"
I nodded firmly.
"Yes."
She asked.
"Why?"
"Because the reason I could win... wasn't because I'm superior or anything. It was a difference in thinking. Unlike the kids who attacked aggressively, I defended and waited for openings."
I paused mid-sentence, my expression clouding slightly.
"They were all... amazing. As expected of prodigies. Unlike me, I could see how incredible they are. How should I put it? Uh, their combat sense is different? I get what that means now."
She tilted her head slightly, looking at me.
"But you blocked all their magic, right? Doesn't that prove you have better magic than those kids?"
I shook my head. Desperately.
"No. Not at all. Sparring with my friends, seeing their combat styles right in front of me, I realized it. They're amazing. Without the advantage of barrier magic, I'd have been done in an instant. Without luck, without intuition... I know that."
Lost in sentiment, thoughts spilled from my mouth haphazardly.
"So... I think I need to work harder. I'm not aiming to be a combat mage, but there's this level I want to reach with magic..."
She was silent for a moment. I fidgeted with my fingers, feeling oddly anxious. After a while, she slowly opened her mouth and continued the conversation.
"Your goal as a mage is what you mentioned before: materializing illusions and dominating dreams, verbalizing letters into incantations, evolving barrier magic into space-time magic, right?"
Actually, more than that. With illusion magic, making parts of reality false, and space-time magic... maybe using barriers to dominate time too... I dreamed. Yeah, dreams. Dreams I want to achieve with magic. She continued.
"Have you ever thought it's impossible?"
My heart sank. I looked up at Master. She was looking down at me calmly. I bit my lip and lowered my head again. But my eyes stayed straight.
"Yes."
How could I not? It's obvious. Obvious. I'm, I'm ordinary. I know that best.
"I know. Unlike my friends, I'm just an ordinary girl. Just sensitive to mana, but very ordinary. No combat sense, not smart. Just a bit, very slightly more mature than kids my age... Right now, it looks like talent because I'm blooming early, but I know best that in time, I'll become an utterly ordinary mage."
I'm ordinary. That was an obvious proposition. The obvious proposition that makes me who I am.
Have I ever thought it lonely...? Of course. But I think that's fine. Truly, I do.
I was voicing my true feelings, which I'd never shared with anyone.
"But if I think that way, I'll never achieve it, right?"
It was the same in my past life. Me, dreaming of being a novelist. I started writing novels believing the words that I had some talent for it. Started pretty young. But the more I wrote, the more I realized. Ah, my talent for writing isn't that outstanding.
But still, I kept believing. In my few unique skills. Because the moment impossibility crossed my mind, it truly became an unachievable dream. For past-life me, I couldn't imagine a future without being a novelist.
I believe that made my dream come true.
"Well, realistically judging, maybe. How many decades would it take an ordinary girl to reach that level? Maybe I won't achieve it. But I hate that. Because I want to achieve it. So, I'll only look ahead."
For me, dreams have always been the meaning of life. What do you think a lonely kid with not even one proper friend relies on to live? What do you think kept me unshaken hearing stories of people committing suicide? I was lonely. But I had a reason to live, meaning. That was the dream.
"If you believe, it becomes reality someday. Even knowing I'm an ordinary girl, that feeling doesn't change."
'If you believe, it becomes reality someday'—I think it's a line from a manga. I've read it in an autobiography too. It's one of my favorite sayings. I believed it.
Only after finishing did I realize I'd said something embarrassing. I'm confident to myself, but to others, it's cringey to the point of madness. Especially the last line, 'If you believe, it becomes reality someday.' Totally shoujo manga dialogue.
But when I blushed and turned to look, Master wasn't smiling or sneering—she had a sad expression.
She spoke.
"Why do you talk about yourself like that?"
"...Huh?"
I looked at her with a flustered expression. She furrowed her brow.
"You have the will to work hard, you look to the future, you have the best mindset as a learner... but you lack confidence in yourself. Why?"
At that obvious statement, I was momentarily at a loss for words. I answered cautiously.
"But... that's actually how it is."
There was nothing else to say. But isn't it? I know best that I'm an ordinary girl. No one is perfect in everything; I know I have a few skills, but that's it. Not outstandingly so. Ordinary. That's obvious. But she shook her head.
"Then, do you think you're bad at magic right now?"
I blankly set aside my answer to that question.
"No. Better than others, probably."
"Then why?"
Well, it's obvious. I truly couldn't understand Master right now. Just like I said earlier. Isn't it obvious?
"But... like I said, I know myself well. I'm ordinary. Nothing outstanding. This talent is surely temporary, just an opportunity from a fast start. As we grow, the gap will widen enormously. Overwhelmingly... in just a few years, my friends will be on a level incomparable to me."
"Why think about the future?"
"...Huh?"
I was flustered by her following question. I always look at the present and future. Doesn't everyone? It was perplexing. But she shouted with a frustrated expression.
"Look at now!!"
She said that and grabbed my face firmly with both hands. Vivid crimson eyes pierced into my vision.
"You're stronger than any kid your age! No one knows what you'll be like in the future. Don't evaluate yourself as ordinary compared to others, as having nothing outstanding. Have confidence."
It's strange. Master always exuded a noble, elegant aura. Yet right now, she was desperate. Desperately telling me that.
"You have talent!"
But tears welled up.
I don't agree at all, yet my chest grew hot. Tears flowed down my cheeks unbidden.
"In reality, you're ahead! More than anyone, advancing more than anyone. Yeah, maybe you have a bit less talent than those kids. But the skill you're building like this will become your true strength someday. So..."
A sob rose. I bit my lip to hold back the crying.
"So have confidence. You have talent."
She said that and pressed her forehead to mine. I closed my eyes, feeling the endless tears.
I actually knew. Yeah, that I have magic talent—I couldn't not know.
I awakened mana faster than anyone. Started sensing and handling it. I have talent for sensitively feeling and finely controlling mana. With an early awakened self and thinking, I created magic faster than anyone.
I was never behind anyone. Always ahead. Never once stood behind my friends in magic.
But I lacked confidence in myself.
Isn't it? Timid me, who can't even speak well. It's been that way since my past life. No one thought I was special. Even I didn't think I was special. Talent for writing was my one and only pride.
Nothing else.
Even reborn and gaining special talent, how could I believe in myself? How could I think I'm amazing, that I have talent...?
Saying I'd look ahead, I feared the future where I might fall behind someday. Staring steadfastly only at the future I want, yet I couldn't believe in myself.
I'm ordinary. That was the defense line I set for myself.
Feeling her warmth with my trembling body, I let out a sobbing voice.
"But... isn't it... I'm... I'm..."
I pressed my lips tight. Acknowledging my talent scared me. Believing in myself scared me.
That's how I've lived until now. And now suddenly saying I'm not ordinary—what then... what happens?
What, exactly, changes?
"If... if I acknowledge that I have talent... does something change...?"
"It won't change. You being you won't change. But you'll get strong. You'll become a dazzlingly shining person. I know."
I opened my eyes and looked up. Through blurry vision, the sky appeared. Beyond the sunlit room's scenery, between trees, a brilliant blue sky came into view.
"You're a child with that kind of talent."
I still couldn't believe it.
That I'm amazing. If I have talent, what will become of me going forward? If I believe in myself, how will I change?
I know nothing. But that was natural.
========== Afterword ==========
11. Teacher and the Child END
Can you believe in your own talent?
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