Chapter 150
Chapter 150
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 150
Chapter Title: The Pure Self in the Realm
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“How’s the condition?”
Lander asked, standing in front of the bulkhead. The wall rose upward, and Belluna took a step forward.
“No physical changes yet. Cognitive functions are fine too. We’re running diagnostics daily, but nothing unusual has shown up.”
“An ideal situation. What does it look like from an expert’s perspective?”
“I’m not an expert. Besides, this case is so unique there’s no one you could really call an expert on it.”
“Tricky.”
“That’s the nature of venturing into the unknown. Still, we’re lucky the subject is cooperative. It must be frightening and confusing, but he’s following our instructions perfectly.”
Belluna placed her hand on the wall. The identification device activated, and the door opened. Trunble was waiting inside.
“Good to see you looking healthy.”
Lander greeted Trunble.
“Seems fine for now. Who knows when that might change, though.”
Trunble shrugged. His mind must have been a mess, yet he hadn’t lost his sense of humor.
“Have you eaten?”
“Not yet.”
“Then let’s eat while we talk. No need to be tense.”
He asked Belluna to bring food.
It wasn’t long before word came from outside. A cart with food was wheeled into the room.
The food had been cut into bite-sized pieces for easy conversation.
“Um… what’s the situation outside?”
Trunble asked, sipping his water.
“Not peaceful. You heard about Director Aleng leaving a will in the newspaper, right?”
“Yes.”
“That sparked all sorts of issues in the Holy City. It looks calm on the surface, but things are boiling underneath.”
“I see.”
Lander spooned some food onto Trunble’s plate.
“I know it’s a pointless question, but I have to ask. What happens to me?”
Trunble stabbed some noodles with his fork. The twirling strands scraped against the glass bowl, making a sound.
“Mr. Trunble, as I explained last time…”
Lander raised his hand to stop Belluna. The spaghetti climbing up the fork handle seemed to mirror Trunble’s troubled heart.
“Returning to the Administration Bureau won’t be possible. You’re a very important specimen now.”
Lander said.
“Specimen. Hearing it put so bluntly is actually better.”
Trunble set down his fork.
“I don’t hold anything against you, Mr. Lander. If you hadn’t saved me then, I’d be dead or a monster by now. But being human, the anxiety just keeps building. Once the research is done, am I going to be disposed of?”
“That won’t happen.”
Lander handed over the prepared documents. He had gotten them approved by Arthen before coming here.
“What’s this?”
“A transfer order. You’ll be reassigned from the Administration Bureau to Kea here.”
“Transfer to the Think Tank? As far as I know, that’s impossible…”
Trunble trailed off. He must have spotted the emperor’s seal. Belluna, sitting beside him, whispered.
“I haven’t heard anything about this.”
“You wouldn’t have. It was processed an hour ago.”
“They’re transferring him to Kea without even consulting the chief or lead researcher?”
Belluna said “hold on” and took the documents from Trunble.
“His Majesty stamped this himself? For real?”
Belluna’s voice rose.
“We’ll schedule a separate meeting. That’s when a suitable position will be assigned to you, Mr. Trunble. I don’t plan to interfere that far.”
Lander explained. Belluna glanced back and forth between the documents and Trunble’s face several times.
“Well, I get it. If that’s the case, it makes sense. Kea is short-staffed, and there’s plenty to do beyond research.”
Belluna set the documents down. Lander looked at Trunble.
“If you know secrets, you belong in a facility that handles them. Your待遇 will be incomparable to what you had at the Administration Bureau. Of course, there’ll be restrictions on your freedom. Chief Researcher Belluna here can tell you about all the loopholes, so don’t worry.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t know anything like that.”
Belluna played innocent. Trunble gave a faint smile.
“So as long as I survive, my safety is guaranteed. As long as I survive.”
“I’ll help personally too. The information you hold is valuable to me as well. If you feel threatened or need assistance, let me know anytime.”
“That puts my mind at ease.”
Trunble resumed eating. Food talk dominated the table for a while. The subject of the Realm came up after dessert.
“When the explosion engulfed me and I was flung away, I thought I was done for right there. Then my eyes met the dead woman’s. The one used as a sacrifice.”
Trunble reminisced as he began his story.
“In that moment, I was pulled into a world of absolute nothingness. A mystical experience.”
Belluna hurriedly prepared paper and pen. Trunble paused briefly before continuing.
“There, I met a child. The word ‘pure’ was all that came to mind.”
A pure child. Lander thought of Sanuaria.
She had said this: Through the transference provided by Gilliuwd, she had met her husband’s pure self.
“A child?”
Belluna echoed.
“Yes. In the form of a young child.”
“What did it look like exactly?”
At that question, Trunble raised his index finger and pointed at his own face.
“That child was me.”
“You met your childhood self in the Realm?”
“I called it a child, but what I encountered there was an existence beyond time. The foundation of who I am, the purest being, the purest self. That’s what I met in the Realm.”
“You faced yourself in a world of nothingness?”
“Yes.”
Belluna moved the hand holding the pen, urging him to continue.
“The moment I saw it, all my worries vanished. A mystical experience—one that made simply gazing at that child the greatest dream of my life.”
“Just looking satisfied all your desires?”
Trunble nodded vigorously. His face showed ecstasy just from the memory.
“I approached the child. I wanted to see it up close. That’s when it happened. The instant I got near, another desire shook me.”
“Looking wasn’t enough anymore.”
“Yes. You know how you don’t even know your own deepest thoughts? The human heart is unclear. Thoughts, judgments, emotions you’ve lived with your whole life—emanating from you, yet you don’t know their true nature.”
Trunble clasped his hands. His words were speeding up.
“A famous scholar said it: The purpose of everything we do is to understand the human essence. Facing your pure self is the one chance to truly know yourself. It’s a pleasure beyond any other.”
“I can understand that much.”
Belluna said.
“I mentioned it earlier—how just seeing it was enough. But that feeling soon changed. You can’t understand by just looking. I needed more intimate contact. That’s when the world whispered to me.”
Eat it.
The pen dropped with a clatter. Belluna stared at Trunble, frowning. Lander picked up the pen and handed it back to her.
“Sorry. But Mr. Trunble, what did you just say?”
“Eat it.”
“Didn’t that disgust you?”
“The thought crossed my mind. But I couldn’t resist the growing desire. Then the child spoke. ‘What do you want?’”
“What do you want?”
“Yes. Hearing that, I grabbed the child. To eat it. To consume it, digest it, and understand it.”
“Ingestion.”
Belluna’s hand moved busily again.
Lander, who had been listening silently, spoke.
“What happened to the child?”
“If more time had passed, I definitely would have eaten it—eaten myself. Devouring myself, and in the end, ceasing to exist. But that’s when you pulled me out.”
Trunble looked at Lander. Lander pressed on with questions.
“What is the Realm like?”
Trunble shrugged. His body trembled. His pupils were acting strangely, contracting and dilating repeatedly.
“It’s the usual symptom we see every time.”
Belluna started to approach Trunble. She held a small glass vial with an unknown liquid sloshing inside.
“He always reacts like this when asked directly about the Realm. We have to use sedatives every time.”
Belluna uncapped the vial. Lander, who had been watching, stood up. He grabbed Belluna’s wrist.
“What are you doing?”
“It’ll be fine.”
Lander placed his hand on Trunble’s shoulder. Mana was raging wildly inside him.
It was similar to the reactions from Dianne and the other Shield Knight Order members. Overdense mana tearing through the body, beyond what it could handle.
The difference was that Trunble’s body was resisting the mana. Unlike those who lost consciousness and control to the mana, Trunble was holding his body and mind together with firm will.
Thanks to protecting his pure self? His body wasn’t turning into a magical beast and was gradually adapting to the mana.
Lander gave just enough help to keep Trunble from exhausting himself. Soon, Trunble regained his senses.
“What exactly are you?”
That was Trunble’s first words.
“A hard question to answer.”
Trunble, staring blankly at Lander, shook his head side to side.
“You’re right. A hard one to answer. I wouldn’t know what to say if someone asked me the same.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Yes… Where was I?”
“You were about to explain the Realm.”
“The Realm, the Realm.”
Worried he might seize again, but fortunately, Trunble spoke calmly.
“I can’t give a definite answer. Everything was abstract. But one thing is certain: Everything originated there.”
“Everything originated in the Realm?”
“Yes. This world’s structure was born there. Understanding the Realm means understanding the laws of the world. This world is subordinate to the Realm. No one can break the laws set by the Realm.”
“Does the Realm determine time too?”
“At least that’s how it felt to me. Past, present, future—all happening simultaneously, all predetermined.”
“Did you sense the presence of gods in there?”
Lander asked, recalling Gilliuwd’s goal.
“I don’t know how to answer that. Even the gods we revere in this world are just part of the Realm.”
“Then the Realm is god itself.”
“From certain perspectives, yes. But the moment I entered, I learned one thing: The Realm isn’t singular. There are various Realms.”
Trunble looked back and forth between Lander and Belluna.
“Like people.”