What the Hell Is This Illness....
“What the hell is this ill…….”
……ness? Yoahim swallowed the end of his words deep in his throat.
“Pardon? Illness? Oh dear, I'm perfectly healthy, not a single ailment!”
The blonde woman flashed a beaming smile, clenching her fists with enthusiasm.
Yoahim nodded awkwardly, a beat too late, his face twisted in discomfort. He'd just run into the group he'd be tackling the request with at the dungeon entrance.
He wasn't so lacking in manners that he'd casually call strangers retards to their faces. But it was damn hard to hold back the words bubbling up his throat.
What the fuck are these idiots? he thought quietly to himself once more.
“Nice to meet you. You're Yoahim, right? I'm Martin, the leader of this team.”
The man who introduced himself as Martin grinned broadly.
“I'm Sila.”
The cloaked woman looked quiet and reserved.
“Hi! I'm Lili!”
The perky one in the pointed hat brimmed with energy.
“Hello. I'm Emily. Please take care of me.”
She was the one who'd first spoken to Yoahim.
Having heard all four introductions, Yoahim said nothing. He simply checked silently above their heads.
Well, fuck me? This is fucked, totally fucked.
Thanks to the game's influence, Yoahim could see their levels. But for some reason, the party's levels were way below the recommended for this event dungeon.
You needed at least level 20 to clear it comfortably, but these guys were too low. What the hell were they doing here?
As Yoahim stood there dumbfounded on his own, Martin beamed innocently, oblivious.
“Alright, everyone's here—shall we head in?”
“No, hold up.”
Yoahim spoke, feeling a faint headache coming on.
“This is a D-rank request, right? You all know that?”
“Yes, we do. So let's all be careful.”
Martin smiled again and moved to enter the dungeon. Yoahim urgently grabbed the back of his collar.
No, you're all too weak—you'll die in there.
Yoahim's gut boiled with frustration. What the fuck was the guild master thinking, assigning this to these clowns?
“Don't take this the wrong way. Listen up. You're all too weak for this dungeon. Got it? Don't throw your lives away for nothing—go back and take E- or F-rank requests instead.”
“Hmph! We've cleared tons of requests already. Who the hell are you to talk when you don't even know our skills?”
Shut your trap, you bitch.
Yoahim nearly smacked Sila's uppity head but held back.
“Yeah, Yoahim! We're super strong! No need to worry—let's go!”
“That's right. We've succeeded on quite a few requests as adventurers.”
Lili and Emily chimed in.
Yoahim sighed. These people had no idea how objectively weak they were. They couldn't see their own levels, so they strutted around like this.
But Yoahim, who could see them, knew exactly how reckless this was. To put it bluntly, they were useless.
They'd just drag him down in the dungeon and steal his EXP. He wasn't friends with these fuckers—why the hell should he babysit them?
Better to ditch the request and hunt nearby instead.
“I'm out on this one. Find someone else or do whatever.”
Yoahim turned to head back to the village. But suddenly, a strong force yanked his body.
Caught off guard, he stumbled forward with an “Ugh!” and felt like he passed through a transparent barrier.
Yoahim whipped his head around in shock. Martin was grinning like an idiot.
That fucker?
“Come on, join us. We might not look reliable, but our skills are solid. It won't take long.”
Yeah, it won't take long. Not for all of you to drop dead.
Kill them?
Yoahim pondered calmly. Ever since possessing the Dark Knight, his personality had shifted from his original self—now he revered death and battle, growing more aggressive, his language rougher.
Kill them? he thought again.
Martin was a level 17 warrior, but not unbeatable for Yoahim. Kill Martin first, and the rest would be easy. The level 12 and 13 scrubs? He could toy with them one-handed. A level 15 priestess? No match for a level 20 Dark Knight—not even one finger needed.
……Nah, hold back.
Yoahim suppressed his rage. It wasn't because he didn't want to become a murderer.
Dungeons vanished once cleared. Hiding bodies here would be the perfect crime—no one would find them.
But he held back for a simple reason: they probably wouldn't give much EXP anyway. And they were better than nothing.
For those reasons, Yoahim forced down his anger and plastered on a smile.
“Fuck it, fine. Let's go, for now.”
Once you entered a dungeon, you couldn't leave until it was cleared. No backing out. If you started, you finished—whether you wanted to or not.
Martin nodded with his usual bright smile, taking point naturally as the others followed.
“According to the info from the mage tower wizards, it's kobolds inside. You know them? Those lowly bastards. Not as smart as humans, but cunning enough to pull dirty tricks.”
Kobolds?
Listening to Martin, Yoahim realized why they were so cocky. Kobolds were only level 10 monsters. The party didn't know their own levels, but past fights told them kobolds were weaker. That's why they took the request.
But something was off: the dungeon's recommended level. Kobolds, and it's level 20?
As Yoahim mulled it over alone, Martin suddenly halted.
“Sila.”
At her name, Sila came to Martin's side. She scanned the straight path ahead and nodded.
“Trap. Simple one. I'll disarm it and we move on.”
Huh.
Yoahim watched, impressed, as Sila dismantled the floor trap. Maybe these amateurs weren't total lost causes?
“Done.”
“Thanks, Sila.”
Before moving, Martin picked up a stone and tossed it ahead—just in case. It hit the ground; no trap triggered.
Martin smiled and took a step.
That instant—
“Gahk!”
An arrow slammed into Martin's chest. He staggered back with a pained scream.
Lili shrieked in a high-pitched voice.
“Sila! You said the trap was disarmed!”
“Not a trap! Ambush!”
As Sila shouted, red eyes gleamed from the darkness. Not one or two—about ten, by rough count.
The dungeon's kobolds had appeared.
Something feels off.
Yoahim instinctively stepped back. Even he needed to assess before acting.
As he retreated, the kobolds advanced. Three of the ten held bows, arrowheads glinting in the torchlight.
Light flashed; sharp whistles cut the air.
The arrows targeted Martin, already hit once. They tore through his leather armor and embedded deep.
Martin spewed blood with a gurgle and collapsed.
“Kyaa! Martin!”
“You filthy monsters! Die! Die!”
As Emily screamed, intense heat surged; flames pierced the dark, fiery arrows whistling toward the kobolds.
Obvious who: Lili.
Her wild, unaimed shots hit floor and walls, not kobolds.
“Hey, where the hell are you shooting?! If you're gonna cast, aim pro—.”
“Lili, cover me! I'll wipe 'em!”
Sila suddenly drew dual daggers and charged the kobolds.
What the fuck? Is this it? Speedrun to party wipe?
Fuck, what the actual hell?
Yoahim's jaw dropped in disbelief.
“Hahhh!”
Sila closed the gap in a flash, slashing with both daggers. Slicing sounds; kobold blood poured.
Lightning-fast strike. The kobold staggered back—solid hit.
Sila smirked, lunging for the next.
But—
“Kiaaaak……”
“Wh-what?”
The kobold didn't die. It bled, but not fatally. Her attack just pissed it off.
Whoosh! A casual club swing cracked Sila's skull. One hit, dead.
“U-ugh, uwaaaaa!”
Lili panicked at Sila's death, howling gibberish and spamming spells wildly.
But they barely scratched the kobolds.
“Hey! If you're casting, aim right! What are you doing? No, why am I always stuck tanking these troll-ass mobs?!”
Yoahim yelled, but Lili ignored him.
“Eek! Eek! Die! Uwaaaak!”
She kept blasting. Decent mana for a mage, but pointless without damage.
Yoahim snapped in irritation.
“You fucking idiot! You're pulling aggro—stop—!”
Whiiish!
He reflexively batted away an incoming arrow. But before he could reset, another pierced Lili's forehead.
The level 12 mage shuddered and fell.
Yoahim whipped his head to trace the shot. Kobold archers nocking again.
They'd prioritized the mage as a threat, firing with precise timing to exploit the gap. Sneaky bastards.
Now just Yoahim and Emily. Level 20 Dark Knight and level 15 priestess.
“This is bad.”
Yoahim gulped, gripping his mace, and waved Emily back.
“Stay behind. Heal only if I'm about to die. Don't come close. And don't steal my EXP.”
“E-EXP?”
Tools don't take EXP.
Yoahim swallowed the afterthought.