Front-Row Seat to Berserk
Front-Row Seat to Berserk
To be honest.
When the fact that Yor was a Manifestor was revealed, Chae-rin had felt a little disappointed.
It was because a secret known only to a few had been exposed to the whole world.
Of course, it might have been a matter of life and death for him, but with this, the secret shared by that small group was gone.
Even if it seemed a little selfish, it couldn't be helped. Reason and emotion were separate matters, after all.
So she'd been vaguely thinking... that it would be nice if she could learn another secret.
And as she was thinking that, the chance to encounter another one of his secrets had come to her.
But... contrary to Chae-rin's expectations, she didn't particularly feel good.
Rather, only a heavy, complicated feeling pressed down on her chest.
This wasn't the kind of heavy secret she'd wanted.
"Ugh... grr..."
She narrowed her eyes, looking ahead.
Right before her eyes, 19+ Mode was unfolding. And a slightly different kind of 19+ Mode at that.
A man who hadn't cared even when a spear pierced his body was writhing in pain.
The sight was enough to make even Chae-rin, who'd built up a certain immunity to cruelty while leveling up, furrow her brow.
When a part of his body started to writhe, Yor would raise his dagger and stab that part without hesitation. Then blood inevitably spurted out, and that blood would thrash on the floor for a while before settling down.
Watching that much, Chae-rin could tell what he was doing. He was drawing out the blood he couldn't control. Because if he left it alone, it would obviously damage his bones and organs.
However, the process looked immensely painful.
What could be considered fortunate, at least, was that the pain seemed to come intermittently.
After he drew the blood out of his body once, there was a brief moment where he could catch his breath.
That was the only timing when conversation with him was possible.
"...It's called Berserk. Manifestors go through this once a month."
Hoo, hoo.
Yor gasped for breath and leaned his back against the wall. Even though not much time had passed, sweat was already soaking his forehead.
"When it erupts, all sorts of side effects appear in your body for a while."
"...Wait, once a month? Since when has this been happening?"
"Well... probably since I was about ten."
Chae-rin looked around the desolate cave again.
She was starting to roughly understand how the cave had ended up with this scenery.
He had created it all. Not just today, but months ago, and years ago too.
He'd already endured this pain dozens of times here.
Realizing that, the surrounding scenery struck her more deeply.
She felt momentarily overwhelmed by the weight of the years felt everywhere. She imagined the countless days he must have spent here, and her breath caught for a moment.
No matter how much this was a scene in a game, wasn't this too much...?
Chae-rin asked him in a voice tinged with worry.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No, it's fine... Just having you nearby is enough."
Those words were the truth.
For Yor, simply having someone nearby was a comfort.
She didn't need to go out of her way to help. Just sending worried glances his way from nearby was enough.
There wasn't really a way to help in the first place, anyway.
At that, Chae-rin felt a faint sense of helplessness.
Of course, regardless of her feelings, the Berserk continued unabated.
When a part of his body started to writhe again, he tore his own flesh with the dagger without hesitation.
His expression twisting each time was an added bonus.
After drawing out the blood once more like that, he smiled with difficulty and said,
"Heh heh, but still, isn't it kind of a similar feeling? You guys have your period once a month too, right."
"Seriously, you're joking in this situation?"
Chae-rin furrowed her brow without realizing it.
It wasn't so much that his joke was offensive, but rather that his consideration—trying to ease her worry while in that state—made her uncomfortable.
Why was he thinking of others in this situation? He looked like he was struggling just to endure it himself.
Of course, regardless, Yor just chuckled.
Not so much because it was funny, but simply to try to loosen up this rigid atmosphere.
Watching that, Chae-rin admired him inwardly for a moment.
'He's really strong...'
She didn't just mean in terms of combat power. He was incredibly strong mentally as well.
Didn't this mean he'd been going through that every month and surviving all this time?
She felt like if it were her, she wouldn't have lasted long and would've broken down.
Chae-rin gazed at him for a moment with sympathetic eyes.
And so time passed.
The night was slowly fading...
*
"Hoo..."
How many hours had passed?
As enduring it started to get seriously tough, I drank some Holy Water.
Since I only had one bottle of Holy Water left, using it felt a little wasteful, but I could not exactly invite a guest over and keep putting on a self-harm show.
Though probably not as much as me, suffering in the moment.
The mental energy of the woman watching this self-harm show in front of me must have been considerably drained too.
So using the Holy Water was the right move for both my sake and hers.
Still, maybe it was because there was someone by my side. This month's Berserk was bearable with my sanity relatively intact. Originally by this time, I'd be rolling on the floor from the pain.
As I was catching my breath like that, Chae-rin muttered,
"Ah, so that's why you kept asking for Holy Water so much..."
It seemed she finally understood all my requests from all this time.
After appearing to think about something for a moment, she asked me,
"So if you don't have Holy Water, you have to be in this much pain every month?"
"No, it's not like this every month. There are two types of Berserk, so when it's the other one, it's a bit easier."
I briefly explained that the other one acted on the mind.
It felt kind of like revealing to someone that I had a mental illness. Well, it was a mental illness that happened about once a month, so it didn't interfere with daily life.
As I explained that, she asked me again.
"Then how do you usually endure the other one?"
"Usually I wander around outside until morning... or, well, usually that."
Though sometimes when the sexual desire erupts, there's also the method of holing up in the cave and enduring it by jerking off.
I didn't mention that part. I had a sense of shame too, after all.
Fortunately, even though I'd mumbled through it, she let it pass.
Anyway, with this, I'd gotten through this month safely. I'd earned myself another month's grace period.
As the tension eased, fatigue crept over me.
I got up and briefly scanned my body. A wry smile escaped me.
'My whole body's covered in blood...'
Well, of course it was, considering how much blood I'd drawn out. I wanted to hurry up and take a bath and go to sleep.
As usual, I planned to put off cleaning the cave until later.
I was too tired to clean, and the blood took quite a while to clean up, too.
Of course, stains would be left behind this time too, but by now I'd reached the level where it barely showed on me anyway.
So I got up from my spot to get into the pool of water in the center of the cave.
Chae-rin was still wearing a tearful expression even then. If I exaggerated a bit, the kind where she looked like she'd cry if you poked her.
Seeing that made me feel a little sorry.
After all, I was the one who'd been scared to endure it alone and asked her to stay with me.
Of course, I had no regrets. Since the cave's location had been exposed, I needed at least one person to watch over me anyway.
"..."
Honestly, I'd wanted to set up a guard while I slept here.
I decided to just send her back instead. Maybe because I'd used the Holy Water, I still had a bit of mental strength left.
At this level, even if someone came in while I was sleeping, I could respond sufficiently.
So I pretended to be cheerful and smacked her on the back.
Smack!
"Ah!"
Startled by the sudden hit on her back, she looked at me in surprise.
"Hey, stop moping around and get up. Thanks for staying with me tonight. You must be tired, you can go home now."
And so I sent her back home. Her expression was still gloomy.
*
By the time she came out of the cave, the sky was dyed violet.
That is, it was late dawn.
The sun hadn't risen yet, but morning would break soon.
She looked up at the hazy violet-colored sky and smiled bitterly.
'Well, there goes my sleep for tonight...'
She'd ended up staying up all night unplanned, after all.
And she probably wouldn't be able to nap easily either. What she'd witnessed today was far too shocking for a restful sleep.
Even he, who always seemed so strong, had a vulnerable side.
And it was heavier than she'd imagined.
What surprised Chae-rin wasn't just the Berserk.
The cave's dark and lonely atmosphere was shocking enough for her as well.
Once you put out the fire that was barely lit, an impenetrable darkness where you couldn't see an inch ahead descended.
Thinking of Yor enduring the pain alone inside that, worry welled up for no reason.
Well... he seemed to have managed fine up until now.
But having seen a scene like today's, she couldn't help but be concerned.
"..."
So she opened her skill window for a moment. There happened to be a skill that came to mind.
[Demon's Saga]'s skill system wasn't much different from any other game.
When you leveled up, you got skill points, and you could learn skills using those skill points.
Though what was a little different was that each individual skill was ridiculously expensive.
And that you could learn them by training directly, not just with points.
Taking the Sword Aura that players craved so much as an example, acquiring the skill cost a whopping 160 points.
In other words, to learn it you had to reach at least level 160.
At that point, it was practically threatening you to just learn it through training.
Anyway, the explanation got a bit long, but the conclusion was simple.
Chae-rin now had a skill she wanted to learn.
Her gaze briefly turned to a corner of the skill window. There, a skill that hadn't been unlocked yet was blinking.
'Night Vision (暗視).'
The ability was truly simple. To see brightly at night.
The reason for wanting to learn it was also simple. To travel the night path through this dangerous forest.
She'd left it alone until now because it was useless, and she didn't want to waste skill points, but now she had a reason to learn it.
'...I should visit often at night too.'
She still didn't have enough skill points.
Determination settled in her eyes as she left the forest. Chae-rin resolved inwardly to work harder on leveling up from now on.
And so time passed.
The short winter ended, and the season was preparing to change once again.