Introducing a Friend to Friends Is Terribly Embarrassing
"Po-po-po-poker face, fu-fu-fuck her face… Yes. That's as far as we'll go."
Drrring.
Feeling somehow sheepish, I plucked at the strings of the acoustic guitar I'd just been pouring sweet melody from, as if taking it out on the instrument for no good reason.
Maybe it was because I'd never properly learned. Singing in front of other people like this felt terribly awkward and embarrassing.
Of course, most of the people watching me right now were faceless strangers beyond a camera lens… but that was how it felt. Anyway!
Did I… do okay?
Even as the thought crossed my mind, I couldn't quite work up the courage to look at the chat.
If I happened to catch something mean in there… I had a feeling I'd be so mortified I'd never be able to sing again.
A sidelong glance.
So I shifted my eyes as subtly as I could manage and checked on Noise, who was crouched nearby.
If I didn't have the guts to look myself, I could just ask my reliable backup.
The viewers didn't know it yet, but I had an incredibly dependable manager (working title) right here, didn't I? Even if she was a whole lot shorter than me.
Maybe she caught that slightly frantic look of mine.
Still wearing her thick suit, her face as blank and expressionless as ever while she stared blankly at the screen, she quietly raised a thumb at an angle the camera couldn't catch.
S-so it's fine, then. Thank goodness I didn't completely bomb it…
That signal probably meant I didn't need to worry too much.
If someone who tended to react a little thinly on the emotional side was saying it was okay, that meant it had been genuinely good by objective standards.
Only after seeing Noise's tiny, adorable thumbs-up could I finally feel a bit of relief.
"Ahem. This song is the second single from Lady Gaga's first album, The Fame, released on September 23rd, 2008 — and for all practical purposes, the title track. I rearranged it a little slower so it'd be easier to play on acoustic guitar, but the original is faster and way more addictive."
"Q-quiet! As long as the song's good, that's what matters! Alright, that's enough singing! I've got a lot prepared for today, so let's hurry on to the next thing!"
I hastily drove a stake through any further discussion of the lyrics and changed the subject as fast as I could.
Yeah, I liked this song too, but the lyrics being embarrassing was just unavoidable. They carried a meaning that was a little too suggestive, if anything.
It might sound like an excuse, but this really couldn't be helped.
My singing technique wasn't exactly anything to brag about, so if I wanted to shift the mood, song choice was pretty much all I had besides performance…
In the end, even if the lyrics were a bit spicy, wasn't it fine as long as the song was good? …Or not.
Maybe the chat appreciated my desperate efforts to change the subject.
The regulars hanging around in the chat didn't seem particularly bothered by what I'd said.
…Or maybe, with the Abyss filling the background this whole time, someone like me was already completely off their radar.
If that was the case, it actually worked in my favor. I could just slip in the lines I'd prepared and move on.
"Today's also my first outdoor stream. Rather than doing any particular content… I was thinking we'd just wander around this area like we're out for a walk, and talk with you all."
The moment I finished speaking, the chat started scrolling past at speed, and I could tell the reactions were a little off from what I'd expected.
Uh… had I really been that bad at talking with people? Now that they mentioned it, maybe I had.
Still… it probably wasn't a problem. If people were saying things like this, it leaned more toward like than dislike.
I'd be doing outdoor streams more often going forward, so if anything became an issue, I could just adjust it in a positive direction over time.
Anyway, having sorted that out quickly, I signaled Noise to grab the camcorder so we could move locations.
A high-performance broadcast camcorder I'd spent tens of thousands of CP — a fortune — to acquire just so I could film in this barren Abyss.
Without this camera, outdoor streaming simply wasn't possible.
Ah, come to think of it, there was something I was supposed to do starting this stream.
But as I looked back and forth between Noise and the camcorder, something I'd completely forgotten suddenly floated up in my mind.
Whoa, wait a second. I'd gotten so focused on the song that I almost skipped right past the most important thing?
It was something that might have a huge impact on my streams going forward — something I'd spent all of yesterday agonizing over before finally reaching a decision.
…Ah, whatever. At this point, it was better to just get it over with quickly and move on.
"Alright then, before we continue with the content…"
Having set the stage, I gestured for Noise — still crouched behind the camera — to come over.
Normally I wouldn't have known how to explain her existence to the viewers, so I'd have told her to rest somewhere out of frame no matter what.
But not this time. What I was about to do involved her very deeply.
"I'd like to introduce the staff member who'll be helping out with my streams today — and going forward — in all sorts of ways."
Maybe because what I'd said so casually was so far from anyone's expectations, the chat — which had paused for a beat — suddenly started racing upward.
Some people were purely confused. Others were letting less-than-great feelings slip out without meaning to.
Well, being surprised wasn't strange. For the past month, the only things you could see on my stream were Ooparts and me, more or less.
If a collaborator suddenly popped out of nowhere, of course it'd be startling. I get it.
But I answered all those questions simply by looking into the camera with a confident face.
Just wait. You'll see, it said.
Waddle, waddle.
Probably because of that thick, uncomfortable suit, Noise came over with a distinctly awkward, lumbering gait.
I looked fondly at her as she stood quietly at my side, then opened my mouth to introduce her to the viewers beyond the camera.
"This child's name is Noise. She's another Virtual Lifeform who'll be helping me out in every way while we travel around this Abyss."
The moment I finished speaking, Noise carefully lifted off the opaque helmet covering her face and revealed herself.
Right now the screen was probably showing a little girl who looked so much like me that you'd have no choice but to think she was my little sister.
Which meant that even without me launching into a long, detailed explanation, simply having her show her face like this gave my claim all the credibility it needed.
"Hi."
Noise spoke in her usual blunt tone, as if greeting the viewers, and shyly held up a peace sign.
Her thick fingers, swallowed up by the heavy suit, carried a cuteness that was almost excessive.
What kind of reaction am I going to get?
How would the viewers take Noise's appearance? I couldn't simply optimistically assume the results would be positive.
In the first place, what a Virtual Lifeform even was, what the cyber world and the Abyss were — I'd never clearly defined any of that for the viewers.
I don't really know myself, after all.
So all I could pass on to them were fragments of information I'd somehow managed to piece together.
Accepting those facts was something I had no choice but to leave entirely to the viewers…
In a situation like that, Noise's existence could become a plus for the stream and lead to dramatic growth — or it could just as easily reverse everything and break the momentum we'd built so far.
Still, I hope they don't dislike her. Noise is such a pure… and good kid.
Call it selfish, but I wanted people to accept her positively, if at all possible.
The me living inside Nia's body was a fool who got jealous of other people — but this child was fundamentally different from someone like me.
Unlike me, a half-measure still carrying memories of a past life, she was a pure Virtual Lifeform.
But looking at the chat, there was one thing I could tell right away.
The people typing away right now… didn't seem to be taking Noise's existence all that negatively.
No — the reaction was completely good, far beyond anything I'd expected.
With a little exaggeration, it felt like more than nine-tenths of the chat was just shouting about how cute Noise was.
Mm-hm, that's right, that's right. You get it. Noise being cute is basically an immutable law of the universe.
It wasn't even praise directed at me, but I felt weirdly proud. What was this feeling? It felt better than when people complimented me as Nia.
Well, of course I didn't mind people saying Nia was cute either. How could I ever dislike people praising my favorite?
"You can put it back on now."
"Okay."
Anyway, the introduction had more or less wrapped up, and I didn't really have anything else to say.
I told Noise — who was watching my face with the thick helmet tucked under her arm — that she could put the helmet back on.
The viewers immediately started freaking out in chat about why I was making her wear the helmet. Maybe because they couldn't see Noise's face anymore.
I had no choice but to hurriedly clear up the misunderstanding with the viewers, who seemed to be framing me in a weird light all of a sudden.
"It's not like that! The Abyss corrodes the data floating in the air, so she has to wear a hazard suit to protect her!"
It wasn't like I was putting her in a spacesuit for fun. A short exposure to the outside was fine, but if she stayed exposed to the Abyss's air continuously, she suffered a lot.
Protecting her meant this was truly unavoidable. I couldn't keep her locked up in a shelter or the studio forever either.
"I'm fine. My body must be special — I don't really need a hazard suit. I'd probably be okay even walking around naked."
"Don't imagine weird things!"
I yelled at the crude comments that came flooding in right on the heels of my slip of the tongue.
I'd gone and said something unnecessary. Ugh, maybe a month still wasn't enough to shake off my past life's way of thinking.
I kept accidentally letting things slip out of Nia's mouth that were a little inappropriate for her. It was so embarrassing. I wanted to just run away.
"Th-then let's go! We're heading out! Noise, grab the camera!"
"Okay."
So, desperate to shake off that shame somehow, I decided to just push the stream forward right away.
Just how long would it take before I could stop making verbal blunders on stream?
A small sigh of despair at my pitiful adaptation skills slipped out between my lips.