Gently Adapting (4)
I was lying to myself.
With a truly enormous lie.
Yeah.
I could never have called myself a normal, ordinary office worker from South Korea living a perfectly regular life.
—Sometimes you don’t even seem human.
—Why the hell are you always so selfish?
My relationships had sunk so low that people would occasionally spit those bitter words right to my face. Just as they couldn’t understand me, I couldn’t understand ordinary people either. I couldn’t grasp how they would turn around the moment your back was turned and tear each other down, gossiping endlessly. Once I had become someone who could no longer trust the unknowable “other,” there was no way I could ever form a normal human connection.
So why had I thrown my life away dozens of times for the mere “favorite characters” inside a game?
Because I could trust them.
No matter what they looked like on the outside, their hearts were kind, and every now and then they showed me a pure, unwavering affection. Even though all I had ever done was play the game through a monitor, I could never forget those bonds. I could never abandon them. I didn’t want to.
I was a fragile, pathetic person—but in this world I had gained the power to turn back time as many times as I needed.
Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.
Just like that verse from the Bible, if I pushed a little harder, maybe I could save everyone. In a world with multiple factions, choosing one side or one person meant the opposing side or existence would die. There was a reason this game hammered the “New Game+” system and splintered the endings into countless branches.
In that cruel world, my identity, my name, my abilities, my suffering—none of it mattered. Since I had already been thrown into this body, I wanted to spend this one life with the people I loved. How to break free of the predetermined path and keep everyone alive… the question only grew heavier. I didn’t even know whether I had truly reincarnated, possessed someone, or simply gone mad and was dreaming the whole thing.
For now, there was no clear answer. Enjoy this world, but put in every effort I could. That was the conclusion I reached.
“Hmm… Student, Novena, was it?”
“Yes.”
“It’s getting dark. Shouldn’t you head back soon?”
“I’m fine.”
The reason I made that resolution was simple. After I collapsed for reasons I still didn’t understand, Novena had stayed by my side for who knew how long. I couldn’t keep worrying her with her own kindness forever.
I carefully moved limbs that still felt heavy with sleep and was rewarded with vicious muscle pain. Looks like I’d used the strength from that Growth Powder before my body had adapted, and the side effects had hit hard. Well… using something in a game and using it for real were bound to be different. Next time I’d have to check the effects properly.
Even so, I refused to let the people watching me worry. I opened my eyes without showing a single trace of pain.
“Hehe, hi? Good morning?”
My voice was a little hoarse, but far too cheerful for someone who’d just been sick. At that greeting, Novena—who had been perched on the edge of the bed—looked thoroughly fed up and turned her face away. Her red hair swayed with the motion, as always.
Ah. I thought she’d at least return the greeting.
“See? I’m perfectly fine, so hurry back.”
“…Excuse me.”
Huh?
“W-wait, where are you going?”
Novena exchanged a brief farewell with someone and then walked off without the slightest hesitation. I couldn’t hold the question back.
“Novena??”
Even after I threw away my pride and called after her, she gave no answer. She left coldly, without meeting my eyes even once.
“Ah…”
Even though I knew we weren’t anything to each other yet, a sudden wave of disappointment rose in my chest. The Novena I imagined, the Novena I had known, was only a game character from a previous playthrough. I must have started expecting things without realizing it. Still, I didn’t let it show. I smoothly shifted my gaze from her retreating back to the woman standing opposite me and met her eyes.
“Hello?”
And just like that, I found myself face-to-face with another familiar face.
An adult woman with dark-blue hair and violet eyes, carrying a distinctly cold impression. One of the main heroines who possessed two completely opposite story routes—salvation and hostility.
“…If you’re that heartbroken over Professor Lutera, I can recommend the counseling office. Need it?”
Counseling office, out of nowhere? The careful way she brought it up made it clear that the me before possession had been fairly close to Lutera. Just what kind of character had I been? Still an unanswerable question. Even in the game, the past and true identity of the original protagonist Lutera had never been properly revealed. There was the male playable character Lutern and the female playable character Lutera. All I knew for certain was that the two were siblings and that they had been invited to the Academy as professors.
Hmm. Thinking about it that way, there were quite a few suspicious points. A protagonist whose actions were hidden behind a veil… yeah, it almost felt like she was the mastermind.
Heh.
She wasn’t about to sit up in her grave, right? Maybe she wasn’t even really dead!
“…Student?”
“Yes?”
Her voice cut through my wandering thoughts. She looked at me with an unreadable expression, then shook her head.
“Well, if you say you’re fine, then you’re fine. I’m Professor Enut, in charge of the infirmary and treatment practice. No point dragging this out—I’ll just explain your condition.”
She continued in a thoroughly uninterested, half-hearted tone.
“I have no idea how a weakling like you ended up at the Academy, but you overdid it with that naturally frail body of yours and collapsed from exhaustion. Body aches, muscle spasms, anemia… the whole package showed up at once.”
My body was every bit as sickly as it looked. The classic story of an antisocial gamer from a previous life getting isekai’d into a frail beautiful girl. If Four Crowns had been an ordinary romance game I might have shrugged it off, but this game’s genre was closer to a realistic misery simulator. I already had so many things I wanted to enjoy with the heroines—I couldn’t afford to waste time because of a weak body!
“Professor Enu!”
“…What? What did you just call me—”
Professor Enut looked flustered.
“Enut sounds way too manly. Using the full name doesn’t feel warm at all. So Professor Enu? Is that too much of a bother?”
But I already knew exactly what was going on inside her head! That stiff exterior of hers would never be enough to block my affection. I knew that this former battlefield healer mage was especially weak to “cute things.” With my looks and atmosphere, I was basically a strategic weapon for exploiting that weakness.
I rounded my eyes, let tears well up, and gazed up at the startled professor. Yes—exactly the expression of that booted cat from the movie with the green monster!
“Ugh…”
Just as expected. Professor Enut, who had been standing with her arms casually folded behind her back, twitched and kept sneaking glances at my hair.
“Hehe, you can pet it if you want?”
Come on. Unleash that desire of yours! Raise that affection and help me out!!
I’d failed to charm Novena, but Professor Enut? You were a total softie for affection! There was no way you’d resist my temptation, right?!
“Hah, I can’t do something like that to a student.”
“It’s just petting my head?”
“‘Just’…?”
Time for a little gaslighting.
I nodded with full confidence, then gently pulled the palm of Enut’s hand—which had carefully approached—toward me. Rough calluses met my fingertips. Startled by the touch, Professor Enut rolled her eyes and couldn’t hide her fluster.
“Professor. Among close girls, petting each other’s hair is just common sense. Between a man and a woman you’d only allow it if you were lovers, but with you, Professor, I’m fine with it.”
“…I-is that so?”
“Of course?”
Professor Enut hesitated as if wondering whether this was really okay, then slowly moved her hand and rested it lightly atop my head. The touch was as gentle as if she were stroking a hamster that might die if she squeezed too hard. I closed my eyes in silence and simply felt it.
—Stroke, stroke.
With my silent permission, the hand petting my hair gradually sped up. My cotton-candy pink hair was every bit as soft as it looked, and Professor Enut seemed to like it enough that she kept stroking for quite a while.
It was pure bliss.
Ahh, this was the real drug, the real sex!
At first I tried to keep my expression under control, but the further it went the more my face melted into a dopey smile I couldn’t stop. Of course I couldn’t—I was being petted by the school nurse whose chest was roughly the size of my own head. Every stroke of my hair made those soft mounds bounce subtly, looking almost delicious.
“Hii…”
Maybe living as a pampered pet wouldn’t be so bad…?
“Ahem. Anyway, if we’re done here, would you mind heading out?”
Damn. Was it because of my smile? Professor Enut snapped back to her senses, hardened her expression just like when we first met, and pretended nothing had happened as she withdrew her hand.
“It’s late, and I was called in urgently because a student collapsed, so I still have work left. You should be fine talking and walking, so go on back. Get some proper rest.”
…In the end, I got rejected.
Looks like picking a few dialogue options wasn’t enough to skyrocket affection after all. Still, it was fine! If this was only the start of the first episode, I had more than enough time to do whatever I needed. Raising affection with not just Professor Enut but everyone else I wanted to meet would mean moving without a single moment of rest.
And so—
“Thank you so much!”
“Mm, hurry along.”
“Can I come again next time?”
“…I’m busy, so only come if you’re hurt.”
I left my lingering regret behind, stepped out of the infirmary, walked through the empty hallway, and emerged outside.
It was evening. The students screaming at each other as if they wanted to kill one another had only been a few hours ago. Time really did fly.
And then, suddenly—
“…Where’s my house?”
I finally realized I knew nothing. Not my name, not my home, not the geography, not even whether I had any money.
“…Am I a beggar?”
Was I supposed to wander the streets until Monday, sleeping on the cold ground?
D-did I just screw myself over?