Overcoming Trauma
Seoah Not Streaming had been a fairly well-known virtual streamer enthusiast since the early days of the 720p crisis.
Word was he bounced from one Virtual Streamer to the next without discrimination, sampling them all. Plenty of streams carried him as a hardcore fan.
Listing every small-time virtual would have been a chore; by fame alone, the names that came up were Saedalkom, Choi Eun-bin, Hiyori—that sort of tier.
The reason Seoah Not Streaming settled on a home base was simple.
Anyone could see Seo-a was different.
A level of polish that made it hard to believe she was a broadcasting novice. That was what people meant by talent.
And her strengths went well beyond running a stream. Singing, dancing, gaming—the word versatile barely did her justice.
Honestly, even that much would already be incredible.
Seo-a had the makings of a superstar. The first virtual concert on Pangea TV, unveiled during the third round of the Wooga-dol audition. The way she stood her ground against Park Bong-sik in MCK. Conduct no ordinary virtual streamer could ever pull off.
And it doesn't stop there. She even founded a crew on her own initiative.
At first, he had been disappointed. With so many prime prospects out there, it had looked like she was just scooping up mediocre small-timers from who-knew-where.
His thinking had changed since then.
Out of a sense of duty—they were in the same crew as his oshi, after all—he had dropped into their streams a few times. And he had realized it: the talent and charm of the members Seo-a had gathered. Her eye had never been lacking.
Watching her lead the crew, she had leadership too. Two members older than her, and she still steered them with ease.
That's why I made her my main. She's only going to keep rising from here.
No one wants the team they root for to lose. In that sense, Seo-a was the best choice he could make and still be satisfied.
Open your eyes and look around. How many virtual streamers on Pangea TV were doing better than Seo-a right now? She had shaken off last month's disappointment and was currently running first in Candy donations among virtual streamers. That, too, was a detail that sat very well with Seoah Not Streaming.
If you were going to play the hardcore fan, better to stand under a famous streamer people actually recognized than under some nobody no one had heard of. The kind of feeling that got you, Whoa, you're Seo-a's vice-chairman?
Tch. Honestly, that part's a little frustrating.
From an attention-loving hardcore fan's perspective, the chairman title was naturally more tempting than vice-chairman. But looking at the reverse-fan lists and Bang-sel collections, the competition was no joke. So for the time being he decided not to force it and simply hold his seat. The chairman's heart might change one day and vanish in a flash, after all. When that day came, he could walk around with his nose a little higher.
Yeah. I was dreaming of that little happiness—so why this bolt from the blue all of a sudden!
Seoah Not Streaming stared at his monitor with a deeply furrowed face.
Today was Seo-a's official off day. He hadn't expected much—until he saw the notice Lucy had posted yesterday and thought, maybe. They lived near each other, and they were meeting at lunch, early enough that there might be an offline collab?
Surprise events like that were what truly made fans happy. Seoah Not Streaming waited for lunchtime without even trying to hide his anticipation.
And then, right on schedule, a notice from Seo-a actually went up. A rare stroke of luck—he almost smiled. Then he read the contents, and his mood sank instead.
"How is this possible? Why?!"
The brief notice said she had met Lucy and would turn on a short mobile stream later.
Seoah Not Streaming's eyes locked onto the words mobile stream.
What was a mobile stream? The primary broadcast method for outdoor streamers—streaming from outside using a phone. Which meant, in other words, a Red Pill broadcast. Not virtual.
Seoah Not Streaming felt a deep sense of betrayal.
How can a virtual do a Red Pill stream?
He had been badly burned once watching human streamers. He had quit internet broadcasting entirely for a while because of it. Then one day he had stumbled on a YouTube kiri-nuki compilation of overseas VTubers. Having grown up on anime, he felt no resistance—if anything, he got hooked. For a stretch he had gone around watching famous overseas VTubers.
But the language barrier hit hard. He turned back to domestic streams, watched virtual broadcasts on Rabbit TV, heard the buzz about the Wooga-dol audition, and eventually crossed over to Pangea TV.
With that history behind him, Seoah Not Streaming had reached a point where nothing but virtual streams could satisfy him. More precisely—was it the wound from those old human-streamer days? Instinctive revulsion kept his hand from ever reaching for that side of the platform.
And now Seo-a was doing a Red Pill stream?
He clutched his head in agony. The virtual character of Seo-a that had formed in his mind felt like it was being defaced second by second. An ordinary person might sneer, Otaku really will do anything, but Seoah Not Streaming was deadly serious. That was how trauma worked. What looked trivial to everyone else could be a genuine crisis to the person living it.
If I actually see the Red Pill, I'll think about it every time I watch a stream!
He might start seeing hallucinations of Seo-a's real face layered over the virtual avatar. If that really happened, he had no confidence he could keep watching.
But fate was cruel. Caring nothing for Seoah Not Streaming's feelings, the mobile stream went live.
Someone might offer a simple fix for the situation: then just don't watch today's stream. Unfortunately, that solution ignored human nature. There was a reason Adam and Eve reached for the fruit of knowledge. The instinct to crave what was forbidden. Even as he rejected the Red Pill, Seoah Not Streaming couldn't help thinking: Everyone else is watching—am I really the only one who shouldn't? Being the only one left in the dark about something everyone else would know was intolerable. It felt like reverse discrimination.
In the end, with trembling hands, he moved the mouse and joined the mobile stream—still nothing but a black screen.
Viewer numbers that laid bare the honest desires of men. Seoah Not Streaming stared blankly back and forth between the screen and the chat.
Then, from beyond the black screen, a familiar voice.
"Seo-ha, Seo-ha. Hello. Please bear with me if I sound a little quiet. Honestly, doing this outside is kinda embarrassing. Hehe!"
Cognitive dissonance from the absence of the virtual avatar. But the stream pressed on without the slightest regard for Seoah Not Streaming's circumstances.
Next came Lucy's greeting—they had had lunch together.
"Hello, this is Lucy. I had a delicious lunch with Seo-a today."
"Huk!"
The instant Lucy's voice brushed past, the black screen vanished and the surrounding scenery sprang into vivid view. Seoah Not Streaming gasped, sucking in a startled breath. He blinked a few times before he could properly process the situation.
A corner seat in a café. First the modern interior décor and the wall came into frame, then the direction of the entrance and the table where they were sitting.
"Uh, uhh?"
Before he could even settle his racing heart, Seoah Not Streaming was forced to be startled all over again. The camera swept across the tabletop, then casually caught the pants and shoes of the woman sitting across from them.
C-could that be Seo-a?
"Everyone, this is just a light mobile stream so I can chat with fans, okay? I have no intention of revealing my face, so apologies to anyone who was hoping for that. Those of you can head out now."
Once the managers had swiftly dealt with the toxic freeloaders, chat returned to normal—just like always. Only then could Seoah Not Streaming find some psychological peace.
Seo-a, I believed in you! You're going to be a proper, traditional virtual who never turns on a cam.
In high spirits, he was just about to send some Candy when—
"Uh, uhh? My hand slipped—!"
With delivery as stiff as someone reading from a textbook, the camera tilted sharply. When the frame finally steadied, what filled the screen was a long, outstretched leg, a black skirt, and an ivory sweater wrapping her upper body—caught from the side.
"……!"
In that instant, Seoah Not Streaming took a massive hit.
Thanks to the flesh-toned sweater, a certain grandeur stood out all the more. And Seo-a was leaning forward. In other words, her chest was resting on the table, flaunting an astonishing presence.
"Ah! Accident. But my face didn't show, so that's a safe, right?"
Leaving the howling chat behind, Seoah Not Streaming stared blankly at the screen, replaying the moment just now over and over in his head.
And a little later—
"Maybe I… might actually like Half-Cam?"
A man's instinct had outrun his trauma.