Sweet Dreams

Being close to a big-name streamer is a double-edged sword.

I've mentioned this before — the benefits you gain from getting close to the platform's heavy hitters, and the dangers that come with them.

Back in the day, Pan-beo-gal was full of complaint posts like these.

The trickle-down is nice. Getting pulled into the mainstream by association with a big-name streamer is a genuine opportunity. But you have to stay vigilant against the way that association can knock your stream off-center and leave it reeling.

Especially places like a crew fan cafe. At least I got tangled up through MCK — the others have zero connection to any of this.

Those warning signs were already showing up in our own fan cafe. I decided to lock down the rules hard.

The chat and fan cafe manager I'd hired after yesterday's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠online interview replied immediately. He said he'd been a fan since the Wooga-dol audition days — which was almost embarrassing, because I'd never even known a viewer like him existed. He never typed in chat, so he'd had zero presence. Three years of streaming experience, worked part-time at a cafe near his place, and applied because the hours didn't conflict with my broadcast schedule. He seemed solid enough, so I put him in charge of chat moderation and cafe management.

Miho's and Lucy's managers were also helping with the cafe, so the three of them split the work — nothing too burdensome. Our fan cafe wasn't big enough to be a management nightmare in the first place.

The fan cafe is covered well enough with these countermeasures, but…

The real problem was the live stream. And of those problems, handling a big-name streamer's attention properly was the most critical. One wrong move and a blessing turns into a curse in a heartbeat. Streamers at that level were political masters who'd spent years hardening their bones in the industry.

"Hey! Seo-a, Seo-a — you comin' to LoL Land or what? Huh?"

"Ehh. LoL Land's a bit much. The stakes over there are way too small."

"What?"

"I won forty-six thousand Candy off MCK. LoL Land usually puts up about a thousand per match, so I'd have to lose forty-six games just to break even? Honestly, isn't that kind of cheap? You're the King of Pangea TV, after all. How about we both practice hard and go at it fair and square at the next MCK? What do you say?"

"Ha! Fine, well said. I'll be hosting another MCK real soon, and if you run then, you're dead in the LoL scene. Got it?"

"Well, if Uncle's going to pad my allowance that generously, I'd better go collect."

"I told you I'm not your uncle! Stop framing me as some old man!"

I deflected the big-name streamer's pressure with practiced ease. Honestly, getting dragged into LoL Land on top of everything else was overkill. For a streamer whose main game was League, it wouldn't be a bad chance to network and break into the LoL cartel — but I was a virtual streamer, plain and simple. Getting roped into content that ran into the late hours of the night would wreck my condition management. I wasn't some regular streamer who only needed to play well.

Protect that virtual streamer voice!

Getting leashed to the next MCK wasn't a bad opportunity for me either. Outside of Myeolmangjeon, it was the biggest tournament on the Pangea TV LoL scene.

I think I handled that pretty smoothly.

Everything seemed to be falling into place a little too easily, but the truth was that from the morning stock-explanation stream onward, it had been nonstop tension. Especially just now, when Park Bong-sik had shown up on stream in person to pitch LoL Land — sweat had actually rolled down my forehead.

Of course nothing in the world is easy, but streaming really is something else.

Internet broadcasting, where everything happens live instead of recorded. One slip and there's no taking it back. The moment the words leave your mouth, they're already video evidence. There's a reason the streaming scene is drowning in incidents and scandals.

I should keep my head down for a while. At least until I get into Rena World.

Was this how a short-timer felt, careful even of falling leaves?

"That's all for today's stream. I went live twice — morning and afternoon — so I'm pretty wiped. Miho unnie is streaming right now, so go show her some love, everyone~"

"Sure. I'll check after I sign off. Thanks for watching today's stream, everyone. Seo-bye, Seo-bye~"

I wrapped up the day's broadcast in a slightly unsettled mood.

"Seriously, it's been nonstop chaos. I thought things would ease up once the Wooga-dol audition ended."

Just the newly created fan cafe and YouTube channel alone gave ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠me a mountain of things to manage. I was planning a Christmas carol cover, and producing a video of decent quality in a single month was already cutting it close. I had to start running hard from now.

And that wasn't even everything on the to-do list. There were preparations for Oh-ha's PUBG Kindergarten content, and Rena World after that. I'd already commissioned a pile of work from Bebe-ttang. Checking each project's schedule and deliverables, meticulously marking them on the calendar, was enough to make my head throb.

Am I chasing perfection too hard?

Sometimes I looked at myself and felt like I couldn't breathe — like I was charging forward with nothing but the road ahead in my eyes. But another part of me thought there was no other choice. After facing such enormous grief and failure before the regression, something like an obsession had taken root — an inability to tolerate even the smallest mistake.

Maybe that's why days off matter so much?

A proper rest would help settle the mind. And it was the only day my voice, worn down through an entire week, could actually recover.

Yeah. From now on, I'll keep my days off without fail.

Honestly, I was getting off easy. Plenty of streamers took extended breaks for every reason under the sun — family excuses, health issues, overseas trips. Of course, even if you laid out those objective metrics, greedy viewers would just snort at you.

"Ahh… that's nice."

A warm shower before bed left me even more pleasantly drowsy. The kind of feeling where you could drop into a deep sleep the second you hit the mattress. Originally I'd planned to monitor Miho's stream for a bit before sleeping, but I found myself glancing back and forth between the computer and the bed, torn.

Right. Rest is important. I was just thinking that a minute ago.

Today's winner was the bed. I'd fiddle with my phone for a bit while lying down and drift off. With that thought, I slowly lowered myself onto the mattress.

"……"

A sudden ringtone brought a wave of déjà vu. I'd been through this exact situation before, hadn't I? With a trembling gaze, I checked the phone screen.

"Tch."

Why do bad premonitions never turn out wrong? Blueby was already scheduled to make a brief appearance on Lucy's news broadcast tomorrow to promote her debut stream. I still remembered nearly having a heart attack when Lucy brought up the idea of a collab and I'd had to talk her out of it.

"Haa…"

I didn't want to take it, but there was no reason to dodge. As long as my friendship with Lucy held, she was someone I'd have to face eventually.

"Yes, I've got it."

"It's been a while. This is Blueby. I heard from Lucy — you agreed to the promo on tomorrow's stream. I wanted to thank you, and check in on how you've been."

"Hmm. If I remember correctly, our last call involved a fair amount of sparring."

"Oh, come on. That was just both of us getting a little ahead of ourselves out of concern for our friend."

"Friend?"

The deliberate emphasis on Lucy scraped at me. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but she might have been recording, so I held back. Overreacting? Even if that were true, being careful never hurt. No point creating a weakness someone could exploit.

"Oh, and Lucy told me something interesting. Sounds like a big Minecraft server might be opening on Pangea TV. Perfect timing — I'm pretty good at Minecraft myself."

"……"

Was she baiting me right now? Yeah? That was it, wasn't it? Maybe this was that "girl-speak" I'd only ever heard about secondhand. Anger clouded my vision. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Hah. I wasn't about to just sit here and take it.

I brought up a "rumor" that had circulated as gossip bait in the communities before my regression.

"On a different note, Blueby-nim, your voice sounds oddly familiar. This isn't a debut so much as a… 'rebirth,' is it? I feel like I've heard it somewhere before. Or is your real name a secret?"

"…… No. I think you're mistaken. This is my debut."

The response was late. It was only a brief moment, but she hadn't been able to answer right away — her words had caught in her throat. I'd tossed out the bait on a hunch, but was there actually something in Blueby's past?

I was about to press further when Blueby, clearly rattled, rushed out a goodbye and hung up on the spot.

Well, well. Look at that.

I wanted to press the advantage and chase her down, but unfortunately I didn't have enough information. All I had was community gossip — the kind of tabloid-level dirt that floated around in the murkiest bottom-tier galleries. Still, it wasn't bad. An unexpected counterpunch had landed, and I'd made it clear I wasn't someone to be trifled with.

I'm definitely getting a good night's sleep tonight.

A satisfying end to the day.