What Is Sexy?
At 3:30, Ssa-yo's stream went live.
I'd been waiting for this. I hopped straight into his broadcast and started watching.
"Ha! This isn't even babysitting kids and I'm already dying. I'm stepping out for a bit, so everyone just hang tight on Ssa-yo's stream."
He'd barely switched off the waiting screen and the viewer count had already blown past eight thousand. Considering prime time hadn't even hit yet, the growth rate was vicious.
"Today's finally the day. Hoo… guys, can I actually pull this off? This really has to go well."
Ssa-yo appeared on screen looking a little tense. Bowl-cut hair, a generously padded frame. At a glance he looked like the neighborhood doofus big brother, but he'd actually been a pro Hearthstone player. Card-based turn games demanded a quick mind at the baseline, and true to that, behind the dull-looking exterior was someone extremely calculating and fast on his feet.
Which is also why he caught some flak. Anyone watching could tell he was being too cheap, too transparent about his intentions.
Whatever the future's verdict on him, public sentiment toward Ssa-yo right now was at an all-time high. Looking at chat, people were already shortening "Father of Virtual" into "V-Daddy."
"Alright then, let's head over to the audition venue."
It was the VRChat audition hall he'd already revealed on stream the day before. The wide back wall of the stage bore Pangea TV's official logo. The whole map was dominated by cool blue tones. Screens mounted on the walls to either side of the stage were set up to zoom in on each contestant. And rising front and center was the judges' panel — a long, streamlined desk stretched across the front, with three oversized chairs arranged behind it for the judges.
"Oh my, you've arrived!"
"Hiya."
"Looks like I'm the last one here."
Two of the chairs already had their occupants. GreatMoon, a streamer with 800,000 YouTube subscribers, and Jerry, a vocal trainer from Novel Entertainment. They were rocking avatars of a blue-haired boy and a creature with squirrel-like ears and a tail, respectively.
"Ahem, my avatar does stand out a bit, doesn't it."
Ssa-yo, who used a real-life-accurate avatar, gave an awkward little laugh as he settled into the center seat, completing the judges' lineup.
"We've got ten minutes until we start. How are you feeling?"
"Me? Ah, well, I'm nervous. This really needs to go well."
"Ahaha! The first contestant hasn't even come out yet and you're already a mountain of worry. How about you, Jerry?"
"I had a good feeling. I had a dream last night, and a pig showed up. Pigs are a good omen, right?"
"Ah, did you happen to see the pig's face? Because maybe it had Ssa-yo's face on it… Ah! Just kidding, kidding."
While the judges bantered up front, things were bustling in the back as well. A character shaped like a little TV set — Pangea TV's mascot — was darting around, herding the contestants waiting backstage.
And then, a short while later, it was 4 p.m. The audition began.
"Hoo! Here we go at last. I'm so nervous. But honestly, the contestants must be even more wound up than we are, right? Let's bring out the very first one. Rie, please come on out."
With Ssa-yo's energetic call, the audition kicked off in earnest. The live viewer count had already smashed through 15,000. The first contestant stepped out, green hair swaying.
"Please introduce yourself."
"Yes, hello. My name is Rie. I decided to transfer over from Rabbit TV because of the Wooga-dol audition, and three days ago…"
The audition was finally underway.
"There are some rough edges, but looking at her potential, I'll give a Pass."
"Unfortunately, I think the vocal side needs a lot more work. Fail from me."
"The RP is way too much. Just because you're virtual doesn't mean you have to drown in RP. If anything, even the home country of VTubers has been dialing that back lately. At the end of the day, the essence isn't RP — it's broadcasting talent. Fail."
First, second, third… the judges' critiques came hard and fast. Contestants dropped like autumn leaves. Thankfully, the fourth slot produced the first passer, and the chilly atmosphere thawed just a little.
Numbers five and six passed, seven failed, and at last it was Miho's turn.
"……"
It was a deeply strange feeling, watching a scene diverge from the past before my regression unfold in real time. Still, every bit of this was a butterfly effect caused by the existence of "me," so I had to own it.
"Hello! I'm Miho, a second-year virtual streamer. Liver Chunks, I'm on Ssa-yo's stream!"
She threw up double peace signs with both hands and made a fuss at the camera, instantly cutting through the tension in the room. It was a bright, bouncy energy none of the previous contestants — passers included — had managed to bring.
Ssa-yo grinned and spoke first.
"Whoa, I've got a feeling this one's going to be something. But who are the Liver Chunks? Some kind of nickname?"
"Ah, that's my fandom name. My last name is Gu, you see. Gumiho — nine-tailed fox. And my staple food is liver."
"Ah, so Liver Chunks… wait—! Does that mean you're going to eat your fans?"
Ssa-yo laid on the theatrics and tried to start a back-and-forth, but Miho one-upped him without missing a beat.
"I am pretty incredible in more ways than one. Our Liver Chunks actually like getting eaten. Slurp!"
"W-what is that tongue-flick just now?! I-I'm a married man!"
"Hmm? Oh, my lips were just dry. Ssa-yo, exactly what kind of eyes were you looking at me with?"
For the first time since the audition started, chat flooded with "lmao" spam. I'd felt it during the immigration-screening content too — her mouth was sharp and her ad-libs were strong. The only slight problem was that those ad-libs leaned hard into 19+ territory. If she could just manage the heat level, it was genuine broadcasting talent.
"Ahem. I overdid it a bit."
"That's right, Ssa-yo. Please maintain a judge's dignity. You have to give the rest of us a chance to ask questions too."
This time GreatMoon spoke up after glancing over the application form.
"Under special skills, you wrote 'sexy.' Honestly, a sexy dance is way too predictable, you know? Kind of stale. So try expressing it in words instead. Miho, what do you think sexy is?"
"……"
Miho tilted her head as if mulling it over for a moment. Then she smiled.
"What I think sexy is, huh. Simple. Sexy isn't about taking it off."
"Hm? Isn't that the opposite? People generally feel something's sexy when there's some skin showing."
GreatMoon's point was textbook correct. But Miho shook her head firmly, refusing to concede, and laid out her own take.
"Hahk! Th-that can't be… but it does make sense."
GreatMoon recoiled with a thoroughly stunned look on his face. Hey. Don't make that face with a pure boy avatar. And next to him, married man Ssa-yo was nodding along with deadly seriousness, which only made it worse. Add Jerry shooting both of them a look of pure contempt and the whole panel was a complete circus.
"My turn to ask a question."
Once the chaos settled and the audition resumed, it was Jerry who took the mic. After carefully reviewing the application, he asked something that clearly caught him off guard.
"I just noticed — your reason for applying is extremely unusual. You didn't write this as a joke, did you?"
"No. Not a joke."
"Huh? What is it, what is it."
Ssa-yo and GreatMoon, curiosity piqued, hurriedly checked the application motive themselves. And every one of them looked shocked.
"May I read it aloud?"
Jerry asked, and Ssa-yo nodded. His eyes were practically swimming with the determination to hear this reason no matter what.
"It says 'because of Seo-a' — and as far as I know, there are two Seo-as. Seo-a and Yoon Seo-a."
"Just Seo-a."
"……"
A strange silence settled over the audition hall. On my stream, on the other hand, all hell broke loose. Chat messages poured in like a flood. I'd been watching the audition with total focus, and all I could do was let out a silent scream.
Hey — I was just sitting here minding my own business!
A storm had rolled in right from the start of the audition.