Squid Sundae Teacher and the Vending Machine Double Trap
Was it a blessing or a curse that I'd slacked off on studying for the high school equivalency exam?
I'd ended up attending high school, of all places—a fate I never asked for.
Couldn't be helped, though. If you want to catch fish, you have to get in the water.
And the fish I needed to catch were all the ones slinging backpacks and heading to school.
The problem was that there was one shark lurking in those waters.
"Yeon-woo."
The shark in the next seat called out to me.
"They say to sign for the textbook distribution status. Here."
"Yeah."
…
The printout she handed me.
Any normal person would sign right there.
I peered intently at the signature line.
A faint rectangular frame caught my eye—barely visible.
I pinched the edge of the paper between my thumb and forefinger.
Rubbed it gently.
A seam split open.
Two layers.
-Flutter
Behind the textbook distribution confirmation was another sheet of paper, incredibly thin and meticulously folded.
"Seon-ha. This is a marriage registration form."
"Oh dear, who would pull such a prank."
She let out a giggle as naturally as breathing—half water, half pure venom. Totally.
"Ow."
I'd cut my finger on the paper.
"You got cut?"
"It's fine."
"No, it isn't."
She pulled a bandage from her bag and wrapped it tightly around the tip of my right index finger. Why the hell does she carry stuff like that... A shark bandaging my finger.
*
First things first: don't get hated by the main heroines.
Last year, thanks to Seon-ha's sabotage, I couldn't even start building relationships, let alone get close.
Yeah. This year would be different.
The tanned guy in the front row turned around. Jock type, probably.
"What's your name? Oh, I'm Ahn Jae-ho."
Ahn Jae-ho awkwardly broke the ice.
Why was he talking to a scary-looking guy like me? The reason was obvious.
The seating chart was set up like this:
Girl Girl
Ahn Jae-ho Girl
Me Seon-ha
No guts to chat up a girl he didn't know, I guess.
"What games you play?"
He tossed out a typical question for our age.
"…I don't play games."
"Huh?"
"Personally, I hate games."
Never touch a game again. If someone you know becomes burningly loathsome in life, recommend a visual novel. Like Kim Hyun-jik.
Jae-ho kept up the small talk. Why's he acting so buddy-buddy...?
Surprisingly, Seon-ha didn't seem annoyed. She just propped her chin on her hand and flipped through the new textbook.
She usually looked down on anyone who talked to me.
-Rattle
The front door slid open.
A woman who looked like a teacher walked in.
Early twenties? Crisp blouse, neat skirt, orange hair tied in a low ponytail over one shoulder.
"Ahem…"
Clutching the attendance book under her arm, she stiffly made her way to the podium.
"Uh, hello?"
Her whole body screamed, 'I'm new here today.'
That rectangular bulge in her pocket was probably not a pick-me-up tablet.
The teacher, introducing herself as our homeroom instructor, started slowly writing her name on the board.
She was so nervous her hand shook, making the chalk lines wobbly.
"(Hey. Teacher's pretty hot, right?)"
Jae-ho grinned and whispered.
This guy was way more sociable than me. Already saying stuff like that.
"Yeah. She's a looker."
The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.
-Swoosh…
Seon-ha's wide-eyed glare locked onto the new teacher.
Her dark eyes turned ashen.
'You won't die pretty.'
That's what her eyes were saying…
"(Nah, not at all? She is pretty!)"
"(Dude, you got high standards? She's fine. Way better than the girls in our class~)"
This guy's insane?!
You trying to get that teacher killed!?
-Swoosh…
Seon-ha's chill deepened in real time.
Ahn Jae-ho had no brakes.
Clueless, he kept praising the teacher.
Stop, stop, stop!
I couldn't watch anymore.
"(Nooo! What's pretty about her!? That's a face?! She looks just like stuffed squid intestine! I wouldn't date her if you paid me!)"
-Crack!!!
The chalk snapped in the trembling new teacher's hand and clattered to the floor.
"Ah, it, it broke… New one… New…"
-Flustered scramble
…
She'd heard me. Sharp ears. My whisper must've gotten a bit loud—just enough for Seon-ha to catch.
'Please forgive me.'
It was all for her sake… If I'd left it, she might've been sniped on the way home.
-Glance…
I sneaked a peek at Seon-ha's expression.
Satisfied with my spicy gossip(?), her lips curved into a bright smile.
Good. Crisis averted.
Even if it made me the jerk who insulted the new teacher.
The homeroom teacher pulled out fresh chalk and finished writing her name.
-Tap… Tap…
"…Huh…?"
I stared at the completed name on the board.
My mind went blank for a moment.
"I'm Han Hyun-joo. Uh, I'll be your homeroom teacher for the next year… Please take care of—"
Mid-sentence, Han Hyun-joo glanced nervously at me in the back row.
"……me. …Hic…"
With a dark expression, she clutched the attendance book and hurried out the front door.
"…"
Han Hyun-joo.
Han Hyun-joo! Han Hyun-joo…! Han Hyun-joo!
Main heroine.
I knew there was a big-sis type character, but a high school teacher? No way.
'Right now.'
I called a main heroine 'squid sundae'…
-Gasp
Seon-ha next to me was propping her chin, beaming innocently.
"Seon-ha."
"Yes."
"Don't tell me you—"
Her pale cheeks puffed slightly. She pursed her softly colored lips, face the picture of pure innocence without a hint of guilt.
…
"…How far back did you plan this…?"
"No idea what you're talking about."
The break bell rang, and kids started getting up one by one.
I saw it.
The Apple Phone 18 Pro Max poking out of Ahn Jae-ho's pocket…
*
The hallway during break. Han Hyun-joo approaching from afar. Sticking to the right side nicely.
"Uh, um, teacher, about earlier, that was actually…"
"I'm busy…!"
-Pat pat pat
She avoided my eyes, hugged the attendance book, and fled.
'Damn…'
What kind of teacher dodges a student the second they see them over something like that? She's still basically a kid herself.
Couldn't really blame Han Hyun-joo for lacking tolerance against a delinquent student's rudeness—she was brand new.
-Shamble shamble
My guess: Seon-ha probably bribed Ahn Jae-ho's desk mate and the two girls in front of him too.
That way, no one would suspect the guy chatting me up.
'Seo Seon-ha, you sly fox.'
New female teacher route: hard to turn into romance, but easier to befriend than other girls.
She must've targeted her as top priority.
"…Sigh."
Was Han Hyun-joo's subject Korean? I'd pretend to have a question later and chat her up.
If she got hurt and transferred, my life would get messy.
'…But how do I even start…'
Come to think of it, I'm not the type who's good with girls.
The type who gets along with girls doesn't grind visual novels for five years straight.
*
The school canteen was packed with students.
First day of the new semester—plenty curious about what high school snacks were like.
Thought about grabbing a bun, but gave up at the sight of the long line. This place was a madhouse.
-Step step
Walking along, I eyed the nameplates on their uniforms.
Might bump into a heroine at a corner for some lucky encounter.
Smooth talk wasn't my forte, so I couldn't fill up on first drinks… but just imprinting faces had value.
-Gurgle…
Seon-ha drained my energy or something? Feeling a bit hungry.
A little peckish, but not enough to wait out the crowd.
A canned drink maybe… That line's no better. Right, there's a vending machine in the hall too.
Headed to the one I'd seen entering class earlier.
And holy crap! What luck!
Han Hyun-joo standing in front of it, fiddling frustratingly like something was wrong.
'Jackpot.'
With my visual novel experience, this screamed machine-illiterate heroine event.
Put in a bill, drink doesn't come out, that kinda thing.
-Step step
Turn crisis into opportunity. Chance to overwrite that awful first impression.
"Teacher."
"…"
"Teacher."
"Oh right, I am a teacher… Eek! You scared me!"
Han Hyun-joo still hadn't internalized being a teacher. She turned a beat late and jumped in surprise.
"Why are you running away!?"
She must think I'm the bad student chasing her down to harass her.
"I-I don't have money? For real."
…Even if I look scary, I'm not robbing a teacher.
Plus, if she thought I was extorting, she'd fight back, not claim poverty.
"What're you doing?"
I asked.
Bringing up earlier would just make her uncomfortable now.
Befriend first, apologize later.
"Oh, th-this drink… won't come out…"
Bingo.
"Looks like a coin's jammed."
"Huh?"
"Step aside."
-Bang!!
I smacked the side with my palm, and her shoulders jumped with a squeak.
At the same time, a clink sounded, and the vending machine lit up.
"There. What do you want?"
"Ah! Peach soda!.. No!!! Black coffee, black coffee!!! I don't drink kid stuff like that! For real!"
Did she have some rule that carbonated drinks disqualified her as a dignified teacher?
"Black coffee's sold out."
I told an obvious lie she could see right through.
"Shall I get you the peach soda?"
"……Yeah. If no coffee… that works."
-Clunk!
The drink dropped.
I bent down.
"Ah… I could've done it."
"I'll get it… Huh…?"
For some reason.
There were two cans inside.
Two rectangular plastic cans lay sideways, stuck together like a telescope.
One in front, one behind.
'Someone must've left it…?'
Sweet. I'd take it.
Right as I reached for both without a second thought.
Gasp.
Danger alarms blared in my head.
'It's a trap…!'
My fingers grabbing both cans frantically dropped one.
-Clunk!
Only the one I'd just selected—the back one—came out. Peach soda.
-Look around
Found her.
"…"
Seon-ha, watching from the hallway corner, smacking her lips.
Gulp…
The original drink in the machine.
So the front one must've been sikhye.
Seo Seon-ha favorability item.
Seon-ha must've planted it ahead.
If I'd grabbed both without thinking?
She'd pop up: "Oh, that's mine."
No excuse not to give it to her then.
Just taking it out would've ruined everything.
"…Huh? What's wrong?"
Han Hyun-joo behind me asked why I wasn't handing over the drink.
"…Nothing."
I went to open the can, but the bandage on my finger bumped the tab. "Uh... isn't your hand hurt? Let me."
"Ah, sure."
…
Plan foiled, Seon-ha quietly vanished.
*
Look on the bright side.
At least I ditched the bad student image, right?
Why'd Seon-ha, of all people, set such a sloppy trap?
This was a win for me.
-Fizzzz!
Han Hyun-joo popped the can, and soda exploded out, soaking her clothes.
"…"
"…"
Double trap. …So the bandage too, maybe.
"Teacher. Don't get the wrong idea. I didn't shake it."
"Ugh… Hic…"
Back to bad student.