Blood Wedding (3)
“Wahhh...”
Unicef. There she was. Sitting slumped in front of the mirror, quietly sobbing.
“Hmm...”
Cliche pulled his head back from the door crack and explained the situation to the others standing behind him.
“Looks like she's smiling? Guess she likes the wedding.”
“Look again! How is that smiling!?”
Roin scolded him, and Cliche peered through the crack once more.
“Wahhh! Sniff! Hic! Hweeeeng—!”
Unicef was now covering her face with both hands, sobbing even more pitifully.
“...She seems happy?”
“Anyone can see she's sad!?”
“Human expressions are tricky. As a dragon, I can't tell them apart well.”
Beep! Psychopath trait: unable to distinguish smiling faces from crying faces.
“Kekeke! Unicef isn't human—she's a de. mon.”
“But~~ still,, fire,,, brides,,, always cry,,, once or twice,,,”
As the Pink Dragon Knights whispered among themselves, Unicef suddenly rolled on the floor, wailing at the top of her lungs.
“WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”
Only then did it click for Cliche. Oh, she's crying.
“Hey, cut the protest. We get you're crying.”
Cliche scratched the back of his head and pushed the door open. Unicef finally stopped crying and sprang to her feet.
“Ho ho ho, what!? How did you all get here!?”
“You knew we were watching. Typical demon.”
“Why'd you take so long? While you were gone, this is what happened...”
“She's just naturally jumping into her own story!?”
Ignoring Roin's reaction, Unicef barreled on in her own pace. Without being asked, she launched into her tale from the past few days.
“...And that's how it happened.”
“So, the Great Demon King—your dad—offered to save 100,000 demon kids suffering human rights abuses in the demon world? As a condition for the marriage.”
“Ho ho ho, yes. The demon world is survival of the fittest, so kids hardly ever make it. If the Great Demon King pushes child welfare, everyone will fall in line.”
Ever since getting reformed by Cliche(?), Unicef had developed a kind heart. It seemed she couldn't withstand her father's blackmail using the children as hostages.
“What's your groom like? What kind of demon is he?”
“Ho ho ho, just some demon who's rapidly expanded his territory lately. A grand duke of a region, they say? I heard he's really nice. And his name's kinda like mine...”
“What's his name?”
“Ho ho ho, Unesco.”
“Kekeke! Close, but not quite. Subtle difference. Kekeke!”
Beep! Name suggests high sensitivity to tradition.
“So,, damn,, fire,,, do~ you wanna get married?”
Unicef shook her head. Roin asked again.
“Then why do it?”
“Ho ho ho, I want to save the children.”
“Just do it yourself.”
“Ho ho ho, how could I in a demon world full of war and pillage...”
Unicef hung her head, falling silent. Watching quietly, Cliche suddenly shot to his feet.
“That groom demon. Wanna go check out his face?”
A short while later, the entire Pink Dragon Knights stood speechless before the massive castle looming ahead.
This was the castle of the so-called demon grand duke. In sheer scale, it dwarfed even the Great Demon King's fortress. Walls bristling with blades, blood-red spires dripping like fresh wounds. Gloomy clouds drifting ominously overhead. It screamed demon castle.
“Come hither.”
Cliche smashed through the castle gate with gusto. The iron doors—thick enough to be dozens of meters—shattered in half from a single punch, crashing aside.
“Huh?”
Everyone, Roin included, gawked wide-eyed at the scene beyond.
It was pure hell.
Of course, being the demon world, that was par for the course. But it exceeded even their expectations, embodying every demon realm cliché to perfection. Flaming ground, moaning prisoners, growling demons, overcast skies. Textbook stuff, almost hackneyed.
Crack! A flaming whip lashed across a child's back.
Looking closer, the forced laborers weren't prisoners—they were all young demons. Hundreds of demon kids hauled massive rocks and pipes under the swings of a burly overseer's whip. They were expanding the castle like some giant factory.
“You useless brats! Work harder! Work till you drop! Kids these days got no hunger! Back in my day, it was way worse than this!”
The fat demon bellowed, whipping nonstop.
“That boomer asshole...”
Even Kubelin Hotse spat curses watching it.
As the tubby demon reared back to whip a staggering kid—
Snap! Cliche snatched the whip mid-air.
“Doesn't look much like a haven for saving kids.”
Cliche muttered, eyeing the child laborers.
“Who the hell are you!? How'd you get in here!?”
The fat demon yelled. Cliche ignored him, staring him down.
“Why're you hitting kids?”
“Educating 'em.”
“How's hitting education?”
“This is the demon world! Demon style!”
“If punishment's education... why 'educate' kids who did nothing wrong?”
“Prime age for mandatory education, ain't it?”
“There's lifelong education too. Guess I'll educate you.”
Cliche shook his head—talk was pointless. Time for universal language.
Thwack! Stars sparkled.
Huh? No stars in demon skies?
As the fat demon pondered that, Cliche's fists rained down like an avalanche.
“Ah, fists. Great for conversation.”
Cliche grabbed the tubby demon and pummeled away. The kids hauling rocks nearby stared, eyes bulging.
Then—
“What's all this racket!?”
From the tall, pointed tower at the workshop's center, someone appeared.
White hair, flawless skin. Monocle dangling from one ear like an earring. Crisp suit. Intellectual handsome type—if not for the red horns and black wings sprouting from his back.
Cliche's eyes narrowed.
“You Unesco?”
“What? No. I am Grand Duke Unist. You insolent worms.”
Demon Grand Duke Unist. He lorded over the Pink Dragon Knights from his haughty perch.
Roin whispered to Cliche.
“Unesco and Unist are totally different. Similar sound, different meaning.”
“Guess Unicef misremembered.”
Roin stepped forward and bellowed.
“What're you doing with these kids!?”
Unist shrugged.
“As you see, opening job paths for them.”
“You promised to save 100,000 kids as a marriage pledge? This your idea of saving?”
“Just posted quarterly job listings yesterday.”
“You're just exploiting labor.”
“Hmph! Young demons these days aim too high—won't work for mid-tier demons, only big shots! Economy thrives when small demons do too!”
“If you care that much, why's the work environment shit? Got a union?”
Union talk made Unist tremble.
“Back in my day, surviving and getting work was blessing enough! Now they want hobbies, leisure—bloodthirsty for it! All 'cause no war experience!”
Unist fumed. Below, Hotse nodded slowly.
“Why're you nodding!?”
Roin snapped. Hotse flinched, then whistled and looked away.
Unist shouted again.
“I provide genius brainpower and these kids' labor for tech advances; Great Demon King gives military might! Demon world grows stronger!”
“Strength's fine. Not by exploiting kids.”
“Kids are trash! Small, weak, useless. Might as well squeeze labor since they can't resist.”
“Must've been tough on mom birthing full-grown ones. With horns too...”
“You—!? Fat joke!?”
Furious, Unist leaped from the tower, red trident in hand, diving at Roin and Cliche.
“A stronger demon world conquers all dimensions! Everything burns!”
Roin freaked.
“We gotta block that, right?”
Cliche nodded, deadpan.
“As the queen commands.”
Rumble! Left hand boiled with crimson flames. Right hand froze in white frost.
Cliche fused firestorm and ice storm.
BOOM! Deafening roar! Power enough to blanch even Unist's face mid-dive!
“Hrk!?”
Unist—rank 9 in demon hierarchy—swallowed like dust. The monstrous pink storm ravaged the entire castle.
But...?
As smoke cleared, Unist stood unscathed before them.
“Kyaaah!”
Roin recoiled in shock but kept supporting Cliche.
Unist reached for Roin. She squeezed her eyes shut.
Drip.
A tear rolled from Unist's eye.
“So tired, poor things.”
Unist teared up, supporting Cliche.
“Huh?”
Roin blinked wide. Smoke fully cleared, revealing an astonishing sight.
“Aigoo! I'm mad! How could I whip these cute, pitiful things!?”
“Sorry! Forgive this uncle!”
“My fault! Tormenting kids! I'm garbage!”
Overseers everywhere dropped whips, hugging kids. Demons wept, atoning.
“Sorry! Uncle'll serve you forever! Till you become great demons, I'll be your Santa!”
Unist kissed kids' hands, in tears.
Same pattern as always.
“He turned into another Unicef?”
Roin gawked around, baffled. Fire + ice = spring. The scorched, barren demon land now stirred with warm winds. Green sprouts everywhere.
“Th-that solve it?”
Roin wiped cold sweat. Cliche looked drained.
“...Tiring.”
The pink storm had swept the whole castle—exhausting, sure.
“Rest up, Cliche.”
Roin eyed the suddenly soft Unist. Then—
BOOM! The castle shook violently.
Rumble! Outer wall crumbled, revealing something massive.
“Son-in-law! Father-in-law's here!”
A colossal firestorm emerged. At its heart: a fat great demon with six spider legs.
Giant red hands. Familiar ones—the ones that kidnapped Unicef.
Behind: endless demon legions.
Cliche grumbled irritably.
“Now what?”
“Umhahhaha! I am Great Demon King Nazmodan!”
Diablo clapped excitedly.
“Kekeke! Familiar name. Feels like a brother's soul... We met?”
“Stop! Copyright's in real danger now!”
Roin yanked Diablo back, hugging him.
Meanwhile, Nazmodan eyed Unist hugging kids, disdainful.
“Tch, long time no see and he's like that? Can't make a moron my son-in-law. Wedding's off! Kill 'em all, devour his factory!”
Nazmodan's quick pivot flipped the field. Wedding venue turned battlefield.
100,000 demons poured in, trampling collapsed kids.
“What now? Too many! And Cliche's beat...”
Roin fretted.
“Damn,, fire,,, we'll~~ handle it~~”
Beep! Massive power gap. Overload from overtime expected.
“Kekeke... My buffs incoming.”
Pink Dragon Knights blocked the legions.
Demon world vs. Pink Dragon Knights!
As the brutal clash loomed—
“Stop itttt!”
A piercing cry from the demon rear. Shattering a skeleton-horse wedding carriage, a bride in white soared skyward.
Unicef!
Demon air amped her up—horns tripled in length.
“Ho ho ho! Dad just voided the wedding, so I'm out!”
“What!? Daughter! No! I'll find a better groom!”
“Ho ho ho! Dad always does what he wants! Promised to save kids, then tricked me! Been tricking me since childhood! No more!”
Stung, Nazmodan redirected rage at barely-standing Cliche.
“You twisted my daughter!”
Cliche frowned.
“What're you on about?”
“She was proudest, most demonic! Thrown off cliffs—came back alive. Buried in lava! Fought demon beasts! Endured acupuncture body mods! Bore it all silently! Then you—she changed! She's fine, bad friends!”
Beep. Bizarre defendant testimony. Fine of 3 million gold possible.
“Ugh! That's child abuse punishment? Gotta change laws when we get back.”
Nazmodan overheard AlphaGo and Roin, exploding.
“Kill 'em all!”
“Come at us~~”
Hotse drew her kukri for the demons—
“Ho ho ho! I said stop!!”
Unicef roared ferociously.
“Gasp!?”
Everyone—knights and demons—froze.
“Urgh...”
Cliche looked wiped. Pink storm overuse? Mental fatigue loosened(?) Unicef's powerful binding.
Kukuku! Her horns ballooned tenfold. Black wings blotted the sky.
Humanity waver unlocked the great demon seal.
“Dad's always like that! Ignored my opinions, abused me since kid days!”
“Daughter! To make you strong! Lions push cubs off cliffs!”
“That's a myth!? Lions actually pamper cubs!”
“Anyway, you grew great!”
“Die, dad!”
Unicef conjured hellfire storm.
BOOM! Flames engulfed 100,000 demons.
“Eek! Hot!”
“Ow hot! I'm weak to heat!”
Demons fled wailing, burned.
“D-daughter! My daughter returns!”
Nazmodan cried joyfully.
His last words before Unicef's fist KO'd him.
Demons weaken drastically in human realm. Back home, Unicef unleashed full power.
Solo-wiping 100,000 demons.
Meanwhile, Cliche stirred.
“Y-you okay!?”
Roin supported him hastily.
“Mm... Slept it off. Better.”
Cliche rose, scanning the field.
Unicef's path: nothing left. Legions shattered, scattered. Only Nazmodan remained, throttled and pummeled to dust by Unicef.
“As expected of Lady Unicef. Champion of last LA All-Demons Tournament.”
Behind, battered Baron Nesher clapped alone.