Blood Wedding (1)
[Ugh... To be bound just because of a name. What kind of bullshit is this?]
The red sword Zenkaeno. It had officially become Cliche's.
"......"
Cliche narrowed his eyes, inspecting Zenkaeno. A flawless red blade, its edge sharp enough to cleave the air itself. It didn't look like a sword that had been neglected for ages. It was good enough for Estial—who had devoted his life to the blade—to vouch for with confidence.
"What are you made of?"
What caught Cliche's eye was the red scale attached near the hilt. Zenkaeno replied in a spirited voice.
"Hmph, I'm just your average sword, you know? Though I do possess a sharpness that could slice through anything in this world. But that's standard for any decent blade, right? Oh, and I can summon scorching thunderbolts too—that's a trick up my sleeve, I suppose. Ah, I've gone and introduced myself without meaning to. Looking forward to working with you, 'Master'."
"Heh. Hey, hey. This guy's personality overlaps a bit with my own character..."
As Diablo eyed Zenkaeno warily for no good reason,
"......"
Cliche asked Zenkaeno once more.
"I asked what you're made of."
"Ah, you want my material—no, my identity summed up in one word? Tricky... That's why I can't stand this cookie-cutter world..."
Zenkaeno couldn't continue. Cliche had gripped the blade's tip and hilt with both hands, applying pressure. Crunch—crunch—crunch— The sword soon bent like a bow under Cliche's strength.
"Gwaaaaaah! My back's bending like a bow! Master, you're incredible! I'm gonna break! I'm not gonna be me anymore! No, no, no, I'm really gonna shatter! I'm done for! Off to the afterlife!"
Cliche must have genuinely meant to snap it. As he released the pressure, Zenkaeno snapped back to shape, panting.
"Ughhh... My C8 vertebra! You nearly broke me for real, you jerk! What the hell was that?! To a sword of my refined ego!"
"If you don't tell me what you're made of, I'll break you for real this time."
Zenkaeno flinched at Cliche's calm tone. He could feel that Cliche truly saw him as worthless.
This guy's gonna snap me if I screw up.
Meanwhile, everyone was stunned by Cliche treating this rare ego item—forged by a dragon, no less—like a cheap skewer from the trash.
Is this okay...?
Roin started to say something but stopped. Zenkaeno had replied in a much more subdued voice.
"......I was made from a red dragon's scale. Sorry for being cheeky."
"......A red dragon?"
Roin's eyes went wide. She'd half-doubted Cliche was really a dragon, but hearing it confirmed was shocking.
"Red dragon, huh. Who made you?"
At Cliche's question, Zenkaeno answered promptly.
"Volcanic the red dragon made me. He carved me from volcanic rock, and I hear my name comes from 'Volcano'."
"For real? You sure?"
"Of course! It's definitely from the word 'Volcano'! Not from anywhere else..."
"I don't care about that crap. So, red dragon Volcanic made you?"
"You're too much, Cliche. Names are sacred. You're the first guy to treat me like this. Kinda makes my heart race, sigh. Anyway, yes, definitely red dragon Volcanic."
Cliche stroked his chin silently upon hearing this.
"Volcanic... Sounds familiar."
After pondering for a bit, he shrugged.
"Can't recall. Whatever."
The dragon sword Zenkaeno. Contrary to Cliche's expectations, it knew little about the dragon world. Apparently, it was abandoned here right after being made—around the time this kingdom was founded, by the sound of it. That explained the dragon scent in the palace.
"......What a letdown."
Cliche slumped his shoulders in disappointment. He'd come all the way from the far western continent to make Roin queen, only for the dragon-scented culprit to be this useless(?) thing.
Meanwhile, Zenkaeno started acting chummy toward Cliche.
"Now that I've got a new master, I need a new name. Give me one."
"Too annoying. How about Chainsaw or Crescent Moon or something?"
"Those names reek of danger just hearing them. Copyright issues..."
"Then stick with the old name."
And so Zenkaeno remained Zenkaeno.
"Hey, Master. What're you gonna do with me now?"
Zenkaeno's attitude had changed dramatically.
"I amplify the user's mana. Wield me, and you'll reach a whole new level as a swordsman..." [SKIP]
But Cliche ignored the user manual.
"Who reads this stuff these days?"
With an annoyed look, he picked up Zenkaeno and held it out to Roin.
"Don't need it. Take it back."
Roin stared blankly. Just how little did he value a dragon sword?
And so, Zenkaeno returned to Rok's national treasury, bringing the dragon sword fiasco to a close.
The Pink Dragon Knights returned to their quarters after successfully excavating the dragon sword—accompanied by their new comrade named Zenkaeno.
"Ah, this spot's pretty nice. Way better than being stuck in that musty rock crevice."
It seemed quite satisfied dangling from Roin's waist.
But oddly, the Pink Dragon Knights' headcount hadn't increased despite Zenkaeno joining. One had come in, but another had left at the same time.
Don't look for me.
Unicef
Unicef, who had insisted on staying behind because she was "sick," had vanished, leaving this note.
Roin shook the paper in her hand with a puzzled look.
"What's this?"
No one, not even Cliche, knew.
Come to think of it, it was weird that Unicef—who always trailed Cliche with hearts in her eyes—was absent today. And her taking a sick day? With great demon-level power? Yeah, right.
As everyone tilted their heads in confusion,
"Beep!"
AlphaGo stepped forward.
"Beep! I can tell what happened here."
"......How?"
"Beep! Knew this might happen, so I installed CCTV everywhere."
"CCT... what?"
As Cliche asked, AlphaGo shook her head like it was too bothersome to explain and began rummaging through the quarters. Soon, pebble-sized black orbs gathered in her hand. One in the living room, one in the master bedroom, one in the kitchen, one in the hallway, one in the garden, and 623 in Cliche's room.
"Why so many focused in Cliche's room?"
Roin asked, and AlphaGo replied nonchalantly.
"Beep! High-priority observation target."
"That's... a crime..."
"Beep! Don't you film wild animals secretly for documentaries? They all consent to it."
"They're animals! I'm not!"
"Beep! I'm a different species from you too?"
"......"
Roin gave up the argument.
Anyway. Light beamed from AlphaGo's eyes, revealing what had happened while the Pink Dragons were away.
Rumble! A pitch-black stormy sky, a muddy night. Trees snapped in the fierce gale. Whoooosh... Only the trees whipped wildly in the wind.
Boom! A massive lightning bolt split the dark sky, and a giant hand emerged. A red hand engulfed in flames.
Splat—splat— The rain thickened.
The Great Demon King seemed to hate rain. He grumbled on like someone caught in a downpour.
Then, a sharp voice rang from the ground below.
'Dad! I told you not to descend to the human realm willy-nilly!'
Every Pink Dragon Knight's eyes widened. It was definitely Unicef yelling at the Demon King.
'Your descents cause wildfires and storms that hurt the trees!'
'Sorry, sweetie. Daddy's sorry.'
She stood with hands on hips, berating the thundercloud sky in anger.
"This guy's... really the Demon King~~?"
"Heh! Just a classic daughter doting dad..."
"Beep! Probably balding on top too."
As the knights chattered,
'No way I'm going!'
'You brat! Defying your father?!'
'Nope, not listening, no intention to. Go home!'
After a heated argument, the red hand stretched out, grabbed Unicef, and vanished into the clouds.
'I ain't going! Nooo!'
Unicef flailed wildly as she disappeared. Flutter— Only a single note drifted gently to the ground.
Don't look for me
Rustle... AlphaGo's replay continued. Next came scenes of picking nose and sticking it under the desk, scratching butt on the sofa then sniffing the hand, sweeping dust under the carpet...
"......Feels like I saw something insane."
Roin muttered. Cliche turned to AlphaGo in disbelief.
"Why didn't you clean?"
"That's not the point right now!"
Roin yelled desperately at Cliche.
"Unicef got dragged away! By the Demon King!"
"Didn't look like she went unwillingly—hand in hand?"
"Not hand in hand—grabbed by the hand! That's kidnapping!"
At Roin's shout, Cliche finally grasped it. Unicef had been taken by the Great Demon King. This was no small matter. Could even be seen as a demon realm invasion of the human world.
Diablo pinched his brow.
"Heh, now that I think, she was a great demon. But the Demon King's daughter? No way."
Hotse crossed her arms.
"Shoo... gotta... rescue... her... right? Loyalty~ and all."
AlphaGo nodded.
"Beep! I'm a cold machine girl from the steel city, but warm to comrades. Must rescue."
Unanimous agreement to go save her. Then Roin raised the key point.
"But... how do we get to the demon realm?"
Silence fell.
Hotse broke it.
"Theseee days, you younggg ones... no effort... worry first~~"
She rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a bottle cap. A worn one, smelling of booze—likely from a store-bought bottle.
"What's this?"
Roin asked. Hotse held it out for closer inspection.
"......?"
Roin squinted at it. Inside the cap, tiny text read:
3 Nights, 4 Days Demon Realm Trip
"......What is this?"
Roin asked. Hotse shrugged.
"Demon... realm... trip... ticket~ 3 nights, 4 days."
"......Don't say it like a local mart giveaway. Who gives demon realm trips as prizes?"
"1st prize... was space... trip... 7 nights 8 days?"
"What kinda mart is that!? What was 3rd then?"
"Dried... salted... fish... one."
"Why the huge gap! 2nd to 3rd is ridiculous!"
"4th... toilet paper~ 1 roll. 5th... candy... 1 pc. 6th... expired... fish cake. 7th... broken glasses. 8th... Pink Dragon Knights... founding... commemorative coin~~"
"From 6th on it's basically punishments! And why are you guys 8th!? What mart is this!"
Whatever—prize was a prize, tsukkomi or not. Cliche clapped to focus attention.
"We're going to rescue Unicef. Pack your bags and gather here."
And so, the Pink Dragon Knights' demon realm conquest(?) was decided.