Throne War (4)
Dodging ball ended, and cavalry battle kicked off right after. Each knight order selected a hundred knights confident in their lance skills. All six assault squads, the pride of Red Bulls, assembled. They were the six assault squads that always charged hottest at the western frontlines. Their name: Hotsix. Armed with red hoplon shields and lances, they'd pierced countless monster hides. Once they started charging, they were monsters who could go at least two days without sleep.
And facing them were Black Yack's pride, the Northern Assault Squad. Optimized for subduing pirates descending from the northern seas, they were Black Yack's strongest assault squad. Always glued to the north, they were called North Face. Composed of second sons from noble houses or bastards, their catchphrase from constant freezing zones was, "Beware the winter."
Also, Gold Lion's core assault squad, Lion Queen, gathered in full. Riding sturdy armored warhorses, they rampaged across the battlefield. Having sworn knightly oaths after shedding their femininity, their destructive power rivaled even Red Bulls' Hotsix.
Meanwhile.
"……."
Roin wore a gloomy expression watching the other orders' assault squads. Pink Dragon Knights couldn't possibly fill a hundred spots. They didn't even have a single horse to begin with. Disqualified, obviously.
"Why didn't you buy horses yesterday, like I said!" Roin whined.
"Don't need 'em unless they're pink." Cliche shook his head, refusing.
Hotse, Unicef, AlphaGo, Allnighter, and the rest each had their excuses.
"Tsk tsk tsk... horses talk too much... no good~~... silence... is gold~~."
"Ho ho ho. Horses just see me and piss themselves unconscious. Human world horses are such frail beasts."
"Beep! Horse, noun, Mammal of the horse family. Shoulder height 1.5~2 meters, colors include brown, black, reddish-brown, white, etc. Four legs, long neck and face, mane on the nape, tail covered in long hair. Herbivorous, matures at 2~3 years, breeds until 20, breeding season April~June, gestation 335 days, births one foal. Docile temperament, fast runner, strong; used for farming, transport, riding, racing. Oil sourced worldwide. Specimen already collected—no interest."
"Kekeke! How could we bind those free-spirited eyes with the heavy chains of a knight order? How dare we shoe those wild hooves? I permit thee—return to the vast embrace of Mother Nature. Go, run wild in her winds!"
Roin could now roughly tell who said what amid the simultaneous outbursts.
"……."
It was subtly self-deprecating.
Excluding the short-handed Pink Dragon Knights, the cavalry battle began. Amid thick dust clouds, the three orders charged out to cheers for their backed royals.
1st Prince Estial drew his golden sword symbolizing the 1st Prince and tapped each Hotsix lance once. 2nd Prince Int whispered winning strategies into North Face's ears. 3rd Prince Jal applied his own lip balm to Lion Queen's lance tips.
"Crush them!"
"Kiyaa-hoo!"
Red Bulls' Hotsix charged first into the field.
"No class!"
"Smash the brutes!"
Black Yack's North Face countered. Boom! Their clash was dead even—elite assault squads, no give on either side. Muscle against muscle, blade against blade!
Then Fan Colonel bellowed.
"But what if Lion Queen joins now!?"
"Li!"
"on!"
"Queen!"
At the captain's order, Gold Lion's lionesses—who'd been watching—joined the fray. A smart play to reap the benefits. Chanting their name, they thundered in at terrifying speed.
"Saucy bitches!"
"Die by a bitch's hand."
Gold Lion's might was monstrous. Like lionesses stronger than males, they mercilessly shredded Red Bulls and Black Yack. But the others weren't pushovers—they wheeled instantly to counter the ambush. Boom! Shields on shields, lances on lances—an epic melee.
"……Heh heh heh."
Int smirked at the corners of his mouth, overlooking it all. He'd schemed tactics sleeplessly for three days for this cavalry battle.
"Red Bulls' Hotsix will charge brainlessly. Hot-blooded Gold Lion will meet them head-on. Then slip back amid the chaos, split forces into wedges, and stab their flanks…."
Int's plan worked somewhat. Amid dust and frenzy, Red Bulls and Gold Lion missed Black Yack slipping to the sides. Soon, they started overwhelming the other two.
Meanwhile.
"……."
Pink Dragon Knights spectated the thick dust rising under warm sun.
"No way—we can't compete without horses…."
Roin watched the cavalry battle sullenly from the stands. The rest seemed indifferent: drinking, solar-charging, playing in dirt, chatting with clouds.
Meanwhile, Cliche kept sniffling from earlier. Dust? Roin handed him a handkerchief.
"Stop sniffling snot everywhere."
"Mm."
Cliche blew his nose into it. It turned pink instantly. Roin joked, laughing.
"Snot's pink too?"
"Nah, this is nosebleed."
"Eek? Blood's pink?"
"Kidding. Blood pink? Come on."
"Oh, right."
"It's snot, yeah."
"……."
Cliche wrung the handkerchief. Drip! Pink snot poured out massively. He flicked it in the air a few times, then returned it to Roin.
"Here, keep it…."
Roin gifted the handkerchief back to Cliche.
Right then.
Cliche turned his head and sneezed.
"Achoo!"
Pink snot sprayed. Simultaneously—a massive earthquake hit the field. Rumble! Unforeseen tremors! Horses numbering hundreds flipped like the earth flipped. Like a giant shaking the ground wildly—a natural disaster! The roar burst some eardrums. Ancient strata collapsed, sharp buried rocks punched through. Fissures yawned, soil waterfalls sucked into crevasses. Horses foamed and collapsed—most with broken legs.
"Wha—what!?"
2nd Prince Int gawked at the field. Shockingly, his side was unscathed. Like a targeted zone—a massive fan-shaped scar on the earth. Precisely that area devastated. Unlucky—it covered exactly the three orders' clash zone.
"What happened!?"
1st Prince Estial rushed out, tending his injured men personally.
"An earthquake now, of all times…."
3rd Prince Jal stared at the ruined field in disbelief. Knights fared poorly too—no deaths, but non-top swordsmen all had broken legs. Horses similarly wrecked.
"……Ow, rhinitis acting up."
Cliche ignored the quake damage, idly picking his nose with the wet handkerchief.
Afterward, the tournament veered into bizarre territory. During hand-clap relays, only Pink Dragon Knights' claps sparked and exploded. In jump-rope, their rope spun freakishly fast. Amid odd phenomena, Pink Dragon Knights overwhelmingly racked up points over the others.
"Th-this make any sense!?"
2nd Prince Int trembled, glaring at the huddled Pink Dragon Knights afar.
"Too suspicious for mere luck. We fought each other too much."
"Gave the win to the dog."
1st Prince Estial and 3rd Prince Jal sensed the gravity too. They decided to unite against the freakishly lucky upstart Pink Dragon Knights.
"Last game's 'Why'd You Come to My House?'"
"Territory tug-of-war melee."
"Body-to-body shoving, right?"
A huge circle etched on the ground, divided into four sections. Key was claiming most territory in time—by shoving rivals farthest.
Shing—Red Bulls' Captain Caffeine Colonel drew his sword with a fearsome glare.
"Your Highness. Let me join this game."
1st Prince Estial snorted, nodding.
"Go. Show the world our true power."
Seeing it, 2nd Prince Int rubbed his temple irritably.
"Hey, Outdoor Colonel."
"Yes."
"Is this all Black Yack's got?"
"I'll correct it. Next time, surely…."
"I'm generous. But my patience isn't infinite—remember that."
"Yes."
Outdoor Colonel bowed curtly to Int, then turned coldly, leading Black Yack to the 'Why'd You Come to My House?' field.
Meanwhile, 3rd Prince's side braced for upset.
"Hiiing. Fan Colonel…."
Jal turned teary-eyed; Gold Lion Captain Fan Colonel knelt heartbroken.
"Worry not, milky-skinned Prince Jal. We're here."
"I can trust only you all, right? Right?"
"Fear not. We never change. We always win."
Fan Colonel and Gold Lion nodded firmly.
Thus—the tournament's final, fiercest brawl: 'Why'd You Come to My House?' began.
"First, crush those pink... whatever-they-are. Then we sort ourselves."
"Agreed."
"Me too."
At 2nd Prince Int's word, 1st Prince Estial and 3rd Prince Jal nodded. Kingdom 1st Knights Red Bulls. 2nd Black Yack. 3rd Gold Lion. Their alliance versus yesterday's rushed newborn 4th: Pink Dragon Knights.