The Monthly Arrangement
I must have dozed off for a moment, because I didn't notice the masseuses leaving. What woke me was the sensation of another pair of lips pressing against mine. When I cracked my eyes open, Suyeon was right there, licking and sucking at my lips. I should have bolted upright, but I didn't. In that brief instant, the thought flashed through my mind that she was the one in control. And honestly, I didn't mind her lips at all. Sorry to Changhee, but for just a little while, I wanted to let her do as she pleased and enjoy it myself.
When our eyes met, she paused and gave me a smiling glance. I simply smiled back. With no resistance from me, she grew bolder, sliding her tongue into my mouth. I parted my lips slightly to welcome it. Once again, guilt toward Changhee flickered through me, but my body refused to react accordingly. I blamed the massage and the cocktails. Before long, we were devouring each other with the same fervor as in the old days. Any notion that she'd deliberately brought me here had long since vanished. So had my guilt toward Changhee. Since things had already gone this far, I threw myself into exploring her body with renewed intensity, determined to secure her firmly on my side.
"Don't you feel any guilt at all?" I asked afterward, smoking a cigarette. Suyeon, who had been using my arm as a pillow while gazing at me, blinked and replied.
"You might feel it because you're married, but do I really have to?"
"You shameless little thing, huhu... Yeah, I feel guilty. I can't believe I cheated on someone I love. It also stings that I fell for your scheme, huhu..."
"Oh my, this wasn't my scheme, darling. It just happened naturally. We both had an undeniable longing for each other, hoho... Or you could just call it a lesbian's nature. Like the frog and the scorpion story, hoho..."
"You really are... incorrigible, huhu..."
"This might not help you, but Nabi and I are pretty open about sex. Because we trust and love each other, we understand the occasional fling with someone else. How could people like us survive on nothing but home-cooked meals? Sometimes you need to eat out, hoho..."
"I got married thinking home cooking would be enough."
"And now we've proven that's not the case, hoho... Don't get all prim and proper on me. It's so nice being with you like this after so long..."
"Right. There's no point resenting you. The water's already spilled, so I'll just have to clean it up myself."
With that, I pulled her tightly into my arms. As if she'd been waiting for it, she pressed herself even closer. I quickly stubbed out the cigarette and sought her lips. Hers, already waiting, rushed to meet mine first. We began kissing again, hot and deep.
I returned home wrapped in a pleasant languor. Since I'd told Changhee I was out for dinner, he had skipped meal prep and instead mixed me a cocktail using the brandy I liked. The sight of it instantly reminded me of my romp with Suyeon at [Sapo], sending a jolt through my body. An involuntary, bitter smile escaped me.
"I just cheated on you with Suyeon."
Changhee, who had been setting an ashtray in front of me, froze mid-motion, staring at it.
"I'm sorry."
I took out a cigarette and put it in my mouth. Changhee quickly lit it for me, but wouldn't meet my eyes. I wondered if blurting it out like that—because I didn't want to keep it hidden—had been a mistake.
"It's not that my love for you has cooled. It was impulsive, but I also wanted to bind Suyeon to my side. That's why I couldn't stop her when she came at me. No—I didn't stop her. I just accepted it."
Changhee still said nothing. He reached for the cigarette in front of me. I quickly offered him one and lit it. I waited in silence until he'd taken a deep drag and exhaled the smoke, hoping the nicotine would calm him enough to say something.
"I understand, Unni. People in business have moments like that. Even someone like me sometimes thinks about men... Don't dwell on it too much. If your love for me hasn't changed, I can accept it."
Changhee's voice was so calm it almost frightened me. The fact that he understood my infidelity, and that he sometimes thought about men too, left me speechless. I wondered if I'd been trying too hard to control him. It felt like I was only now realizing there were parts of him I couldn't fulfill. I felt foolish for thinking that playing with Jeongsook and Yeojeong Unni would be enough for him.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? About wanting men..."
Only then did Changhee stub out his cigarette and look at me. A strange smile played on his lips.
"How could I bring that up? It's just something that happens sometimes..."
"No, it isn't. I overlooked how it might be necessary for our marriage. I never considered that you might need a man sometimes. You're a woman too... not a lesbian, just a woman, and I forced you..."
"Stop, Unni. Let's not talk about things that could hurt each other, okay? Instead, kiss me. My mood's a bit of a mess right now, but I think a kiss from you will make it much better."
He scooted closer. I stubbed out my cigarette and embraced him. It tasted different from Suyeon. The flavor of the woman I loved spread quickly through my mouth. Even after my wild time with Suyeon, my body heated up instantly. I could feel Changhee's body responding too. We lost ourselves in each other right there on the sofa.
After the commotion, we lay on the sofa. He was licking my nipples while I played with his softened cock. Maybe because I'd sucked him off so enthusiastically after so long, the thing was sleeping quite peacefully.
"Let's set aside one day a month to cheat."
At my sudden suggestion, Changhee lifted his mouth from my nipple and stared at me, eyes wide.
"It's a bit abrupt, but I want to acknowledge the truth. There are parts where I can't satisfy you one hundred percent, and you can't satisfy me one hundred percent either. We're each two percent short. So while we're on the subject, I think it's good to give each other one free day a month. It won't change our love. If it did, it wouldn't be love."
Changhee gazed at me quietly for a moment, then slowly nodded a few times. I got the sense he was accepting it for my sake, not his own.
"It might sound grandiose, but I think this is necessary for people like us. I'm a lesbian, and you're a regular woman. We each needed an outlet, but we were so happy in our newlywed phase that we forgot about it."
"I'm still happy enough, Unni. I couldn't be happier than this. Sometimes I'm so happy it scares me."
"That's exactly it."
I sat up and looked down at him.
"To keep that happiness going for a long time, this is something we should have thought of earlier. I was too selfish to consider it. I've only just realized that people like us need something like this. So don't argue—just do what I want. You've always listened to me until now, haven't you?"
"Still, this is..."
"No. This is exactly when you need to listen to me. I won't disappoint you. You just don't disappoint me either. As long as our love doesn't change, that's all that matters. Think of it as one day a month to lighten your body and mind. Like going to a bathhouse to get scrubbed clean."
I didn't know why I'd launched into such a passionate speech. Emphasizing the "one day a month" so fervently—was it really for Changhee, or for myself? Even if he felt resistant now, I believed he would eventually be grateful for this decision. I was certain that filling our shortcomings this way would prove beneficial in the long run.
Strike while the iron is hot. After showering first, while Changhee was in the shower, I texted Minjun.
I sent the message and sat there blankly, listening to the sound of Changhee showering. Just moments ago I'd been certain enough to text, but thinking of his reluctant expression, I wasn't sure this was the right thing to do. I also thought Suyeon's skillful tongue and hands had driven me to this decision. Was I cornering Changhee again just to get what I wanted? I swallowed dryly. Still, I didn't want to let it go. Everything Suyeon had to offer. I was certain it would benefit both the company and me.