The Dominant Within
After a few rounds of drinks, Lucy and Penny returned to their partners with heavy makeup. It was thicker than what they wore at Broken, but still not as loud or garish as a full drag queen look. At any rate, it was far easier on the eyes than their bare faces, which so obviously betrayed their male features.
The conversation had barely moved on from the new atmosphere at Delma to the story of the two of them doing sixty-nine when Changhee looked at Yeojeong and asked, “Unni, did Lucy and Penny receive SM training too? They seem to know quite a bit about that side of things.”
“Probably. Right, Lucy?”
“Of course. The customers have such varied tastes, so we’ve been trained in all sorts of things to accommodate them.”
Changhee nodded at Lucy’s answer. Yeojeong asked why she was curious. Changhee smiled softly and spoke with complete honesty.
“Watching the two of you, it looked like you were quietly enjoying yourselves. So I suddenly wondered if I could train Lucy and Penny a little more. I know they’re in absolute obedience to you both, but if they aren’t receiving regular training, I thought I might like to give it a try…”
The one who was shocked was me. I couldn’t understand why my slave Changnyeo would want to become Lucy and Penny’s “Master.”
It must have shown on my face, because she took my hand tightly and looked back and forth between Jeongsook and Yeojeong.
“I… I’ve decided to start working at Sohyeon’s company next month. The environment there doesn’t require me to worry about other people’s eyes, and it’ll help Unni in one way or another, so that’s why I chose it. But…”
Changhee hesitated for a moment. The part about the company was something we had decided together, so there was nothing new for me there. I waited for her to continue.
“It’s been some time since I started serving Unni as an M. But lately I’ve realized there isn’t only M inside me—there’s S as well. I told myself it couldn’t be true and tried to ignore it, but coming here today and seeing Lucy and Penny made my S tendencies surge so strongly it surprised even me. If both of you and the company say it’s all right, I’d like to train the two of them.”
“Oh ho! That’s exactly it!” Yeojeong exclaimed. “Sohyeon, remember what I told you before? That Changhee might have another side hidden away? No one can ever be just one thing. Where there’s M, there’s bound to be S. Which one emerges first is like a baby deciding when to come out of the womb. Just as someone can be a man who wants to be a woman, there are people who are M yet long to be S. There aren’t any statistics, but I hear there are surprisingly many. I had a feeling Changhee might be one of them. It was pure intuition, but to be this accurate— even I’m impressed with myself. Hahaha…”
I was stunned. It sounded as if another personality existed inside Changhee besides Changnyeo—and this one wanted to play the master. Even though I knew there was no connection, it reminded me of the multiple-personality cases I’d seen in movies. I stared hard at her.
She seemed to sense my feelings; she kept offering me that gentle smile and squeezed my hand. The gesture felt like a message asking me to trust her.
“In my case, I think Yeojeong unni is right. I don’t know how true the things on the internet are, but most people say they fall hard for either M or S. Not everyone, though. I simply developed a taste for M first. Then I fell in love with Sohyeon unni and didn’t want to lose her love. I wanted her to hold me so tightly I couldn’t move an inch. That’s how I naturally drifted away from S.”
I suddenly regretted never having talked about any of this with Changhee. Still, I was grateful to learn what was in her heart. And along with that gratitude came the desire to let her do at least some of what she wanted.
“Wow, I never expected Changhee to be this honest,” Yeojeong laughed. “I already know Lucy and Penny won’t object, and I can talk to the company. So the only one left is you, Sohyeon. Looks like the master has to hand down her decision… What do you think?”
Even though I understood Changhee’s feelings perfectly, I couldn’t answer right away. I told them I would go home, think it over, and let them know my decision tomorrow. Then I loudly declared that it was time to really enjoy ourselves.
Everyone shouted in agreement, clinked their glasses, and drank. After several rounds in quick succession, Lucy and Penny performed a naked dance. I was giggling at the sight when my eyes met Yeojeong’s. She had clearly been waiting for our gazes to lock instead of calling me over. The moment they did, she jerked her chin toward the outside. I recognized the gesture—she wanted to talk in private. I picked up my glass and slipped out alone.
By now several more tables in the hall had customers. The one closest to our room was empty. The moment I sat down, Yeojeong took the seat across from me. She held out her glass. We toasted, each took a small sip, then lit our cigarettes.
“I don’t know if Jeongsook told you. We’ve decided to live together.”
“She mentioned it might happen, but it looks like it’s official now. Congratulations, Unni.”
“Thank you. Um… would you two like to move in with us?”
“What? Where did that come from…”
“I know it sounds sudden, but if you’re both okay with it, I was thinking we could find a bigger house and all live together.”
It really was out of nowhere. The two of them could enjoy a cozy life on their own—why on earth would she want to drag me and Changhee into it?
“No. I appreciate the offer, but we’re happy exactly as we are. We like living inside the fence called family. You understand what I mean, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. I know what it means to live bound by the relationship called husband and wife. Hehe…”
“Now that you’re properly tying that bond with Jeongsook, you two should live sweetly and have fun. We can still meet up with you and Changhee from time to time…”
“Oh, right—about Changhee… you’ll give permission, won’t you?”
Yeojeong always politely added “ssi” after Changhee’s name, which I appreciated. She had told me that calling her “sister-in-law” felt strange, so she chose to show respect that way instead. I didn’t mind that kind of consideration at all. After the strong first impression she’d given me faded, her human side was actually quite likable. These days, though, standing next to blunt, fiery Jeongsook, she somehow seemed more delicate.
“I think it would be good for Changhee, too.”
“Do you really? I was worried it might be the opposite…”
“No, that’s an unnecessary fear. Like we said earlier, Changhee is clearly someone who wants to express both sides. Just as she said, I think she fell in love with you after discovering one side first—or while she was still getting to know it.”
I stubbed out my cigarette and picked up my glass again. Instead of drinking, I savored the aroma and thought for a while. As if giving me space, Yeojeong leaned back against the sofa this time and lit another cigarette. When I still said nothing, she finally sat up, crushed out the barely-smoked cigarette, and leaned close to my face.
“This is something Jeongsook probably hasn’t told you. Shall I share one secret? Hehe…”
The meaningful smile that spread across her whole face told me she was offering a real secret in exchange for a deal.
“It’s the condition for handing Lucy and Penny over to Changhee, right? Hehe…”
She nodded. When I let out a short sigh, she laughed.
“It’s not something you need to agonize over this much—you’re overthinking it. Hoho… I don’t believe Changhee holds any real grudge against Penny, but once she learned that her friend had done terrible things to his wife, it might be impossible for her as a woman to forgive. Why didn’t that occur to you? Changhee is a proper wife herself, after all. Hoho…”
My breath caught. It was completely unexpected. I hadn’t considered that angle at all. Only now did it make sense. Whether Changhee was M or S didn’t matter. What mattered was that she wanted to deliver her own form of punishment.
“I hadn’t thought that far. Thank you, Unni. In that case, I should definitely give Changhee the chance. Even if Jeongsook has forgiven Penny, Changhee may need the opportunity to forgive in her own way.”
I pulled out another cigarette. Yeojeong lit it for me. I took a long, satisfying drag, exhaled, and continued.
“So now can I hear your secret? Hehe…”
“Oh dear, I was hoping you’d let it slide. Hoho…”
Whether she was serious or just playing it up, Yeojeong made a big show of it before emptying her glass.
“The truth is, Jeongsook and I… we enjoy that from time to time too. Hehe…”
When I tilted my head, not understanding what “that” meant, she quickly added, “SM, I mean.”
Once again I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I stubbed the cigarette out immediately. Then I simply stared at her smiling face.
“Hahaha… You look really shocked. It’s not that surprising, kid. Everyone has at least one of the two tendencies. Because society labels it perverted, most people never let either side fully emerge, but they usually keep one hidden. Whether the other ever appears is unknown. Some people, like Changhee, sense both inside themselves. Actually, Jeongsook is similar to her. Surprising, isn’t it? Hehe…”
How could I not be shocked? It felt as if everyone I knew had turned into zombies. What’s more, the fact that Jeongsook—someone I’d known for so long—had never once shown me that side made me feel almost betrayed.
“I can guess what you’re thinking. But don’t overanalyze it. You’ll only get a headache. Everyone needs times when they can loosen up a little, right? Can’t you look at it that way?”
I didn’t think she was wrong, but it still felt too casual. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the emotional suffering the two of them must have endured during their turbulent marriages. Yet I couldn’t shake the suspicion that turning their husbands into Lucy and Penny hadn’t been enough—they were now pulling Changhee into their circle to satisfy their own pleasures.
Still, if Changhee truly wanted it, I couldn’t stop her. If I objected, she would obey and abandon the idea, but I worried it would leave a lingering resentment in her heart.
I am happy now. I want this happiness to last. I don’t want it shattered over something absurd. In that case, shouldn’t I yield a little in the direction that would make Changhee happy? Once my thoughts reached that point, I decided to stop worrying about the issue altogether.