The Witches' Hour (Part 2)
I felt a strange itch to understand that inexplicable feeling a little better. It might sound weird to say it this way, but it was one of the dirtier sides of my personality. The kind where I couldn't rest until I'd figured out whatever had caught my curiosity. I don't know if it's a bad trait, but it's also what gave me my persistence, so I'd never really thought of it as a flaw. In fact, up until now, it had been far more helpful than harmful. Even though people called it dirty, it wasn't filthy at all—just a stubborn habit that was hard to break.
In the end, I was the one who called first, and we arranged to meet just three days after our initial blind date. His impression wasn't unpleasant, and his calm yet slightly high-pitched, refined voice wasn't bad either. His height, around 170 centimeters—similar to mine or maybe one or two centimeters shorter—and his slender frame that made him look even leaner than me were all decent enough. In a word, he was a man with a subtle hint of femininity, and oddly enough, that actually sparked my interest.
Maybe it was because my head had been filled mostly with women throughout my dating life, so the image of a "man" hadn't properly formed in my mind. But I wasn't the type of woman who sat demurely in front of bulky bodybuilder types or guys who acted all tough. If anything, it was more accurate to say I felt more comfortable taking the lead. In that sense, he seemed like someone who would listen well to what I said.
When I told him I wanted to see him again, he didn't make any excuses and simply agreed. It made me vaguely wonder if he liked me too, or if he simply preferred women who took charge. Either way, what mattered was that being face-to-face with him felt comfortable.
I quickly wrapped up my urgent tasks and handed the rest over to Jeongsook. She already knew why I was rushing out today of all days, so she didn't complain. Instead, she even cheered me on, saying she hoped it would go really well this time. I wasn't sure what she truly thought deep down, though...
As I left to meet him at the appointed time, I recalled that peculiar atmosphere I'd sensed from him. The way he'd eaten his food so neatly, the delicate movements of his hands as he drank his coffee. His skin that looked carefully maintained, his neatly groomed eyebrows. His somewhat cautious gait and the soft scent of his cologne. It had truly been a flawless date in every way, so why had I felt that strange vibe?
What exactly had I picked up from him, when he seemed to have no problems at all? Was it because I knew too little about men? Had his excessive politeness made me uncomfortable? Or maybe... was this the budding of that love-at-first-sight feeling, like what Jeongsook had experienced?
Nah, that couldn't be it. No matter how limited my dating experience was, I wasn't the type to fall for a model-student guy like him at first glance. But it was clear this wasn't the same feeling I'd gotten from any of the men I'd seen or met before. Should I have asked Jeongsook about it earlier? Not like she'd know any better than me. If it were about women, maybe, but haha...
After watching a movie together, I unilaterally declared I'd buy dinner and led us into a clean-looking Japanese restaurant. I hadn't asked if he liked Japanese food, but I figured hardly anyone hated it, so I decided on my own. He followed me inside without a word.
When I asked if a quiet room for two was available, they immediately guided us upstairs as if it were no problem. I asked what he wanted to eat, but he told me to order whatever I liked. So that's what I did. I even ordered my favorite cold sake.
The food arrived one dish after another, and we picked at it while chatting. Maybe because it was our second meeting, we talked more than we had the first time. Of course, since it wasn't the kind of thing I could ask directly, we circled around safe topics—work, friends, politics, society... the usual stuff. Still, the alcohol helped, and eventually we got honest enough to talk about our thoughts on marriage. We both reached the conclusion that neither of us felt any specific need to get married right now.
I felt a little bad for Jeongsook, but having our thoughts align like that made me feel much more at ease. How should I put it... it felt like I'd finally met a friend I really clicked with since Jeongsook. The first time as a man, at least.
A slightly flustered expression crossed his flushed face before vanishing, replaced by a bright smile that spread across his lips. He nodded almost immediately and said that would be great. So we clinked our glasses again. To friendship.
The walk home after parting ways with him felt strangely pleasant. Part of it was the alcohol buzzing pleasantly in my system, but I was also happy to have gained a friend I could speak casually with—someone more comfortable than a lover. (And a male friend, at that.) When I stepped into the apartment elevator, I caught my reflection in the mirror and smiled with satisfaction once more.
My face wasn't ugly by any means. It wasn't stunningly beautiful, but it was well above average. Maybe the male hormones I'd been born with had some effect, but with my short haircut, my features gave off a refreshing, androgynous impression. I think that image is why I'd always been popular with both men and women. Back in college, thanks to my height, slender figure, and looks, I'd even modeled for the fashion department's presentations and received several invitations to enter modeling contests.
Now that I ran a business where I frequently met men, I'd properly learned how to do my makeup, and I'd gotten good at choosing stylish skirts I rarely used to wear. The truth was, I'd ended up with looks that stood out more than most ordinary women. As I hung up my top in the closet, I suddenly remembered the way Lee Changjun had kept glancing at the blouse I'd worn at the Japanese restaurant.
He had definitely kept looking at that outfit. Maybe because it was a rather vivid orange color. It was definitely an eye-catching shade. I liked wearing it when meeting men—whether for business or dates—because the way it cinched at my narrow waist made me look more feminine. Since there was no reason to project masculinity in front of men, it was only natural that I kept a few outfits like that for politeness' sake.
To be more honest, unlike when I was younger, I had come to enjoy being a woman. I was grateful to my parents for giving up on raising me as a son and choosing to raise me as a daughter instead. Although my temperament had more masculine traits than the average woman, and I'd gone through a rebellious phase because of it, that wasn't the case anymore. I liked that I was a woman.
I enjoyed seeing men drool over my pretty, slender, tall figure. And I liked that women wanted to date me too. The feeling of having both sides in the palm of my hand. It was a thrill not easily found anywhere else.
While removing my makeup, I thought again about how Lee Changjun's eyes had kept drifting to my orange blouse. The more I thought about it, the more peculiar his gaze seemed. No matter how eye-catching the color was, the way he'd kept stealing glances at it while clearly conscious of my attention now bothered me.
Hmm, how could I describe that look... That's it! It seemed to contain something like envy.
The deep neckline that revealed my chest, the line that tapered sharply at the waist before ending. It was definitely an attractive jacket that made me look sexy whether I paired it with pants or a skirt. I stared at the garment for a long time as if I were in Changjun's shoes, trying to figure out what feeling it gave off. Maturity, sexiness, sophistication, haughtiness... various words rushed to mind.
Hmm... If that gaze, that look in his eyes, really carried envy—like he wished the clothes were his—what did that mean?
After finishing my shower, I thought about calling Jeongsook but decided against it. It was true we shared a lot with each other, but I didn't like the idea of asking her about something like this. There was no need to blurt out random thoughts before I understood them better and end up regretting it later.
I simply crawled into bed. But perhaps because the thought had already taken root, I couldn't fall asleep easily. And without realizing it, I smiled again and muttered to myself.
What if Changjun had been a woman instead? Wouldn't we have gotten closer? Maybe we could have even tried living together?
Haha... That thought led to another. It was like a bored child who'd just gotten a new toy. Before I knew it, my chest was swelling with excitement at the thought of going on an interesting date with him. It was like drinking kimchi soup before anyone had even offered me rice cakes, but it was still a pleasant thought.