The Time of the Witches (15)
After my parents left, Changhee buried her face in my chest and cried for a long time. I patted her back, telling her that only good things lay ahead now, so she should simply trust me.
The next day, as promised, Changhee and I went home and came out to my parents. They had raised me with deep understanding, believing my intersex birth was somehow their fault, yet they seemed unable to accept that I was homosexual. I explained that although surgery had made me a woman in childhood, the man inside me had never died. It was because of that man that I had come to love women, and why others could only see me as a lesbian. My words must have carried weight, because my parents’ faces softened with understanding. Still, the idea of me bringing home a pretty man to marry clearly fascinated them. Once the initial shock faded, they could not stop staring at Changhee.
My mother, with her gruff personality, even asked outright in front of her whether I hadn’t simply dressed a woman in men’s clothes and started spouting nonsense. Strangely, that blunt question softened the mood even more. From a parent’s viewpoint, it seemed both astonishing and deeply touching that their daughter—who could never bear children—was finding her own way to marriage.
“We came like this today out of courtesy, but from now on this person will be dressing as a woman. So don’t be surprised, Mom. She is going to be my wife. I’ll be the man of the house. I’ll be the husband.”
I even managed to say it with a faint smile on my lips. I thought that kind of boldness suited me. It was my way of declaring, right in front of my parents, that I was the head of the family while clearly defining Changhee’s place as well.
That night, after we returned home, I took Changhee—now wearing heavy makeup and a glamorous dress—to the crossdresser café Kinky that she often visited. We had gone to Delma together several times, but this was our first trip to a crossdressing café as a couple. The suggestion had been mine. Although I had sworn never to have sex with a man, I realized it would be sad for a woman to deny herself even the pleasure of male attention. So I decided Kinky would become our playground just as much as Delma.
“The next visit will be after the breasts are done, so let’s enjoy the last night without them to the fullest, haha…”
Receiving my parents’ blessing felt like official permission to act as the man. I laughed heartily and gave Changhee’s bottom a playful push. It gave her a chance to catch up with all her acquaintances while I drank like a proper husband, surrounded by crossdressers.
The visit proved educational. Many of the crossdressers looked nothing like women, but quite a few were even more feminine than Changhee. Even so, I was grateful that none matched her refinement or depth. It filled me with pride—I had made an truly excellent choice.
“Um… may I sit here?”
“Oh, yes. Please, sit down.”
“Did you come alone?”
“Ah, yes, hoho…”
“Really? Then would you like to date me? You’re exactly my type, hoho…”
“Really? That makes me feel wonderful. But what can I do? I’m a bit of a pervert. I like tying people up, hitting them, stepping on them… that sort of thing, haha…”
“Oh my! Even your tastes are exactly my type, hoho…”
After teasing each other like that, I pulled Changhee close by the neck and kissed her lightly, careful not to ruin her makeup.
“Let’s go home. I want to hurry back and receive my oppa’s love.”
While doing her makeup at home after meeting my parents, Changhee had told me I had looked truly manly in front of them. She added with a soft hoho laugh that she thought she might come to love not only unni but oppa as well. I told her that made me happy. Whatever she chose to call me, I decided that title was the signal of what she wanted from me that day.
Eager to get home and lose ourselves in passionate love, Changhee grabbed my hand and pulled me up. After two straight days of stressful coming-out meetings with both families, a few drinks had finally loosened the tension. All that remained was deep, intense lovemaking.
Once the lush, full breasts had settled into place, they looked magnificent. Compared to the rather modest ones I had gotten after high school, these were on another level. I could see how far cosmetic surgery had advanced. Watching Changhee struggle for days to adjust to their weight was pure delight.
“Did you think becoming a woman would be easy? Hehe…”
“I didn’t, unni. The center of gravity pulls forward more than I expected.”
“Stop staring at the mirror and come here. Let me touch them too.”
The words had barely left my mouth before a naked Changhee trotted over and sat beside me. I cupped the voluptuous breasts in both hands, savoring their texture, then gently took one nipple between my lips. Changhee’s body twisted as a moan slipped out. She had stopped the hormones, yet the erogenous zones they had perfected still satisfied me completely. I slid my hand lower, fondling her groin, lovingly stroking the testicles that would vanish in a week. Moan after moan poured from her mouth—seductive sounds impossible to imagine coming from a man.
Not long ago I had finally understood my obsession with removing those testicles. I believed it stemmed from the childhood surgery still lurking inside me. The testicles taken from me before I could mature. My mother’s constant emphasis on their removal—claiming even my penis had never formed properly—had left only the word testicles branded in my mind. I cannot fully explain the lingering attachment, but something unhealthy had clearly remained. That was why an unwritten rule had taken root: anyone who loved me must share the same condition. In the end, Changhee became the victim of that rule.
The unwritten law that there must be no balls, even if the penis remained. As promised, Changhee returned to the operating table for the orchiectomy. We had taken all the necessary preparatory steps, yet I still wondered whether it had been the right decision. When the doctor told me the surgery had gone smoothly, I stood alone outside the operating room and cried.
I had become a woman who lost her testicles through no choice of her own. She, though partly at my urging, had become a man who removed hers by her own will.
I stayed by Changhee’s side until she could move comfortably again. She was deeply grateful.
“The comparison might not be perfect, but right now I feel like you’ve just given birth. A wife who bears a child who resembles her husband is lovable. In the same way, I find you—who followed my wish—utterly lovable.”
Someone once said that if you find the bare face without makeup beautiful, it must be true love. That was exactly how I felt. Changhee’s shy, unmade-up face looked so pretty and sweet that I kissed her lips without thinking. Her blushing cheeks belonged to a real woman.
The surgery had been a complete success. The cleanly emptied space was bare, yet the dainty penis guarding its place looked even more endearing. My lollipop… During our first sex after the operation, that lollipop tasted especially delicious as I sucked on it greedily.
Before meeting my younger brother Jaejin, who had returned to Korea for break from his studies abroad, I received a call from Mom. She apologized profusely, saying that while talking about my marriage she had ended up revealing every one of my childhood secrets. I did not get angry. Instead I told her she had done well. It was something he would have to learn eventually, and this seemed like the right moment to lay everything bare. He was a thoughtful kid who had even planned a relaxed study-abroad life after military service; I trusted he would handle this matter wisely too.
Just as we had for Changhee’s parents, we went to meet him dressed in a two-piece and a one-piece respectively. Though we greeted each other with smiles, the awkwardness lingered. Jaejin kept stealing glances, unable to believe that the person sitting modestly with downcast eyes, sipping coffee, was biologically male like him. With Changhee beside me, his gaze was naturally drawn there, and it was obvious his eyes held a mixture of astonishment and wonder.
I suggested we move somewhere for drinks. Jaejin agreed without hesitation. Alcohol truly has the power to bring people closer. It gave him the courage to speak to Changhee and laugh with her. The quiet boy who took after our father had never talked so much to lighten the mood; it made me happy.
“It’s shocking that noona was almost a hyung, and even more shocking that noona’s husband is a prettier woman than noona. You don’t seem like a 21st-century person. No, you don’t seem like an Earthling at all, hehe…”
Jaejin said this while Changhee was in the restroom.
“Hey, legally he’s noona’s husband, but in private like this he’s noona’s wife. So when it’s just us, call him sister-in-law, not brother-in-law, you punk! Got it?”
Quite drunk myself, I teased my brother. Jaejin, even drunker, gave a playful salute and grinned. Gratitude that he understood both me and Changhee nearly brought tears to my eyes. Why did they have to come now, of all times? It seemed that in front of my little brother I was a woman by nature after all.
Jaejin looked at me quietly, then grinned again. He proposed a toast. I gladly clinked glasses and drank half. As I refilled his empty glass I said,
“By the way, eat properly. What’s happened to that handsome face? You’re so skinny. Tsk tsk…”
“If I gain weight I can’t concentrate. I’m not the type who puts on weight easily anyway.”
“Still, it’s good your face doesn’t look dry, hehe… Did you get a girlfriend while you were away?”
“Girlfriend? It feels weird to call her that, but there is someone I’m closer to than a regular friend. She treats me so well it’s almost burdensome, hehe…”
“Wow, how long have you been abroad? Haha… And every time I asked before, you pretended there was no one? You bad kid!”
“We just meet as friends, hang out, study together… that kind of thing. It didn’t feel right to call her my girlfriend over something so casual…”
“Is she foreign? Is that why you’re not getting serious? Because you’ll break up when you return to Korea?”
Jaejin shook his head with a smile.
“She’s Korean. Same age as me.”
“Any pictures?”
He took out his phone, tapped at it, then handed it over. I snatched it eagerly. A woman with short hair and a fresh, makeup-free face had her arm around Jaejin’s shoulder, smiling brightly. Beside her, Jaejin’s shy smile made him look small. My brother was only 169 centimeters—shorter than me.
“Your girlfriend must be pretty tall. You look even smaller next to her, hehe…”
“She’s probably about the same as noona. Around 172.”
“Really? So you’re dating a tall woman with the second generation in mind, huh? Haha…”
“It wasn’t a calculation… but it turned out that way, hehe…”
I punched his shoulder lightly. He pretended it hurt but kept smiling brightly. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder exactly as in the photo. The small, neat boy who had been sickly as a child now looked wonderfully admirable.