I Already Know, Logan
"Yes, Logan."
I'm ready to listen.
A smile played at the corners of Bayul's mouth as he met Logan's gaze. What kind of expression would that face wear a moment from now? With what eyes would he come to resent me?
Frightened as he was, Logan mustered his courage.
"I'm so sorry. I know it's useless to say this now, but…… I wasn't thinking straight back then. I knew I shouldn't have…… I was just too scared……."
"No, Logan. I understand completely."
"No, you don't understand. What I did……"
"I know everything. I know why you did it."
"…You know everything?"
"You were hurting too, weren't you, Logan? Because of me…… you lost your closest friend."
"Bayul, that wasn't because of you, it was……"
"And I think I finally understand why you never answered my letters. So please, stop apologizing, Logan."
"I……"
"The truth is, I thought about going to see you so many times. But I never could. I didn't have the courage to face you either. If anyone should be sorry, it's me, Logan."
The very same words were written over and over again in that boy's letters.
I'm sorry.
He was the one at fault, so why was it always Bayul who ended up apologizing?
"Thank you for coming to see me, even this late."
Even words of gratitude.
"Let's meet often like this from now on. Okay?"
"Oh, come on, look at you two making up—how nice is that? You should hang out together more! Childhood friends are precious, you know!"
Eli, who had retreated to a corner out of some notion of politeness, apparently decided this was his moment and jumped right in.
"I don't have a friend like that. You two are blessed. Isn't that right, Aidan?"
"Blessed, my foot! If I had a friend like this guy, I'd turn away a hundred of 'em!"
"Oh right, I forgot you hate Logan."
For someone who got along with the vast majority of students, why he loathed Logan so much was anyone's guess.
"Aidan, couldn't you try to get along with Logan, for my sake?"
Bayul had painstakingly rebuilt his broken relationship with Logan. It would take time to return to how things once were, but he believed without a doubt that they would get there. To do that, though, he needed Aidan's cooperation.
"Why should I? Sorry, but I don't want to."
"Aidan……"
"And Rai, I don't just dislike this guy."
"You don't just dislike him?"
"Nope. I hate him."
For an instant, flames flickered up in Aidan's eyes. Bayul had never once seen that green gaze burn so dark and deep.
"Well, this won't do."
Eli shook his head, then raised his index finger.
"There's only one way out of this. Hey, Logan. I don't know what it is you did, but start by apologizing."
"…Apologize?"
"There's clearly a reason this guy's this angry. Misunderstandings can be cleared up later, so let's calm him down first."
Logan would have loved nothing more than to do exactly that. He wasn't the type to care much about being disliked, but for Bayul's sake, he wanted to keep things peaceful.
The problem was, he remembered nothing at all. The only thing Logan knew was that from the very first moment they'd crossed paths after entering the Academy, the boy had growled at him.
There was nothing to apologize for. The boy had simply hated him from the start.
"Why so quiet? Don't tell me you don't know. No, right?"
When a faint flicker of "so that's it" crossed Logan's face, Aidan was thunderstruck.
"Whoa! You seriously don't know what you did wrong?"
He had secretly been hoping for an apology. The humiliation of that day still flashed before his eyes, but if only Logan would apologize properly, he was prepared to forgive.
"Is— is this maybe one of those things?"
Aidan stammered, so great was his indignation.
"The frog that takes the stone thrown carelessly dies! I mean, okay, I didn't die, but still, this is basically that situation, right? Right?!"
"Hey, hey, calm down. What are you getting so worked up for all of a sudden?"
"Do I look calm to you?! This guy doesn't even remember what he did! How bad is your memory? Wow, unbelievable. Just unbelievable!"
Aidan yanked off his uniform jacket and hurled it to the floor. For such a cute face, his behavior was nothing short of thuggish.
"Hey, calm down already! Bayul is still a patient! Did you forget?"
Whether Eli intended it or not, he managed to pull both boys' attention away just as they looked ready to come to blows on the spot.
"Bayul, are you feeling unwell? What hurts?"
Logan whipped around, worry written all over his face, while Aidan stumbled back a step. His chest still heaved, and he clearly had plenty more to say, but it looked as though he was holding his tongue for Bayul's sake.
"I'm fine now. Don't worry, Logan."
"Really?"
"Really. My body's always been frail, remember? Rai worries too much."
"Come to think of it, what happened that time, anyway?"
"Hm?"
"At the temple, I mean. It's not like I'd never seen you collapse before, but I'd never seen anything as strange as that day."
"Ah…… that?"
Logan was asking about what the spirits had done. Though Bayul himself couldn't remember, it was said that all four elemental signatures had manifested on the day he fainted from the shock of first seeing Innocent.
Of those who had witnessed it firsthand, only two had never gotten a proper explanation from Bayul: Priest Wagner, who had passed out mid-treatment, and Logan.
"What did they call it again…… right, spirits. That's definitely what they said back then, wasn't it?"
Logan turned his gaze squarely on Quinn and brought up the word.
"But what is that, exactly?"
It was a word Logan had never heard once in his entire life.
"I think you even mentioned something about a legend……"
The sudden talk of spirits made the atmosphere turn awkward in an instant. As it happened, knowledge of the spirits was still a secret shared by only the four of them. Even Rita and Ian, the people closest to him, had been kept in the dark.
What do we do?
Hmm. Should we just play dumb and brush him off?
Quinn, why did you have to say that in front of Logan of all people and make this a whole mess? What are we supposed to tell him?
Are you seriously saying this is my fault?
"Bayul?"
Everyone had suddenly gone silent, stealing glances at one another. Anyone who wasn't a fool would have sensed something off.
"Logan, the truth is, what happened was……"
There was no one left to stop him. Bayul paused only briefly to wonder how best to explain, then didn't hesitate at all. This was Logan, after all. There was no secret he couldn't tell Logan.
How long had it been?
As Bayul spoke, Logan's expression shifted again and again. Never before had so many emotions surfaced and faded in those golden eyes.
"…So then, first things first—Bayul, you're not sick anymore?"
The first thing Logan asked, as expected, was about Bayul's health.
"Nope, I'm perfectly fine. I was never in pain. Like I explained, I was just hearing the voices of the spirits, and the side effects came from trying to suppress that with divine power."
He couldn't believe it. He had seen that boy lying sick in bed countless times. More than that—he had watched the priest come to administer healing treatments over and over.
And all of it had been a misunderstanding. That Bayul was perfectly healthy was a joyous thing, yet the memory of all those wasted days left a hollow ache.
Who could have imagined that the treatment meant for him was in fact the very thing poisoning him? Thank goodness it had come to light at last.
"His Grace the Duke must have been overjoyed. I'm so glad you were never really sick, Bayul."
Every word of it was sincere. How long had he prayed for Bayul to be well? Ever since the day he'd met him as a child, it had been a wish renewed with every passing day.
"…He doesn't know yet."
"He doesn't know? What is that supposed to mean?"
"I haven't been able to tell him……"
"You haven't been able to? What, why not……?"
The Duke had a habit of lying awake all night worrying about his son. Surely Bayul knew that too, so why on earth hadn't he said anything?
Bayul?
This was the boy who had once loved and admired his father more than anyone in the world. Bayul and Bayil alike would spring out of their beds at the mere mention of their father.
What on earth had happened in those two years?
Could it be because of what happened that day?
A guilt of his own making darkened Logan's face in turn.
"Logan! Want to say hello to Innocent?"
Bayul had no desire to talk about his strained relationship with his father, so he briskly changed the subject in a bright voice.
"Oh, right—Innocent is the water spirit. I told you I first met her the day I fainted."
"The little girl you mentioned?"
"Yeah. Just hearing me describe her, it's hard to really grasp what a spirit is. You probably can't even picture it."
Logan nodded without meaning to. Bayul had given him a fairly detailed explanation, but it wasn't easy to put spirits into words.
"Bayul, are you going to call her?"
"Haven't you all seen her in a while?"
"I could go days—months—without seeing that bratty little imp."
Eli, it seemed, still hadn't forgotten the drenching incident at the valley. That he was counting down the days to his revenge was a secret of his own that no one knew.
"Then I'll call her. One moment."
Bayul closed his eyes at once and searched for Innocent in his mind.
—Yes, Bayul?
Before long, Innocent appeared in a flourish of fluttering skirt hem. Whatever she'd been up to, her surroundings were a swirling sea of water droplets. The strange thing was that none of them ever fell to the ground—they simply orbited around her, hovering in the air.
"I have someone I'd like you to meet."
—Who? This man here?
The only stranger to Innocent was Logan. She swept around the room in one great circle, then flew straight up to his nose.
Logan was baffled. Bayul was speaking into thin air, after all—it was only natural to find it strange.
Then it happened.
"Hello there?"
A cold chill washed over Logan in an instant, and in the same breath, a little girl with blue eyes appeared before him.
"……!"
Logan was hardly the type to startle, but this time was the exception. He stumbled back a step, his hand reflexively flying to his hip.
"Hey, were you just about to draw your sword?"
Aidan seized the opening to sneer, and Eli elbowed him in the shoulder in warning.
"What? You saw it too, didn't you?"
"We were all pretty shaken the first time, remember? Or did you forget already?"
"Still, I didn't go reaching for a knife! Is that any way to treat a little kid?"
"Logan was just acting on instinct. He wasn't even carrying a sword."
"That's exactly my point! What if he'd actually grabbed one? Innocent and I might never have gotten to say hello!"
"Right, that's enough. I'll be holding this mouth shut, so go ahead, Bayul."
In the end, Eli resorted to physically clamping a hand over Aidan's mouth. Aidan squirmed and thrashed, but escaping Eli's grip with that small frame of his looked like an uphill battle indeed.
"Innocent, this is my friend Logan. Do you remember him at all?"
"Hm? Remember?"
"We used to play together a lot when he was little."
"Not a clue."
"I see……?"
It had been a slim hope, but as expected, Innocent's memory held only Bayul.
"Logan, this is Innocent. The water spirit I told you about. Say hello."