The Beginning of a Nightmare
It had been a brilliant, sun-drenched day. The day the three of them had gone on a picnic together for the very first time, giddy with excitement. The day their terrible memory began.
“The weather's perfect today. We really picked the right day for this, didn't we?”
“Bayul, are you sure you're okay? You're not pushing yourself, are you?”
“Oh, come on, can't you tell just by looking? I've never felt this light in my whole life!”
“You're not just saying that because you want to go on the picnic, right?”
“Bayil, you don't believe me?”
“I believe you.”
“Then why do you keep asking? I'm telling you, I'm fine!”
Bayul hoisted the pack up with a flourish. “See? Do I look sick to you?”
“Logan.”
“Yeah!”
At Bayil's call, Logan darted over and lifted the pack out of Bayul's hands. “Huh? Logan, I said I'd carry it!”
“My hands feel too empty.”
“Empty, my foot! You're already carrying the water jug!”
“I get this weird feeling whenever my hands have nothing to do. So you'll just have to yield this one, Bayul. Alright?”
“That's not what yielding means. You two are the ones suffering because of me.”
“But I really can carry it….”
When Bayul voiced his protest, Bayil and Logan exchanged a sly glance behind his back.
What do we do? Give it back?
No way. He'll tire himself out again in no time.
Then what's the plan?
The answer wasn't far off. For the sake of his sulking little brother, Bayil let out a long whistle.
“Woof woof!”
“Jasper!”
Jasper, who had been wandering lost in the woods exploring, came bounding back at Bayil's signal. And Jasper being Jasper — the kind of fellow who'd leap up from a dead sleep for Bayul — Bayul threw his arms wide open and caught him in a hug.
“Did you see lots of interesting things out there? You didn't just go nibbling on random stuff, did you?”
“Woof! Woof!”
“Right, right. Got it. Now hold still while I get these off you.”
Struggling to calm the dog, who was licking his face without mercy, Bayul brushed the leaves clinging to Jasper's coat.
“Look how much is stuck on you. It's like you rolled all the way here on the ground.”
“He's still young. Even grown dogs do that, you know.”
“Jasper, do you like it that much? Should we come visit the hill behind the house more often?”
“Woof woof!”
“Great! Then let's promise — at least once a week from now on! I promise you!”
At Bayul's bold vow, Jasper barked and bounced about in high spirits. Bayil knew perfectly well that such a thing could never come true in reality, but he didn't say it aloud. Neither did Logan.
“Alright, let's get moving before it gets late. We're grilling fish for lunch!”
“Grilled fish! I'm going to eat at least ten!”
“I'll have one.”
“Only one?”
“But it'll be a HUGE one!”
“Deal! And your big brother here will catch it for you!”
With a grand declaration, Bayil signaled the start of their march.
“Bayul, if you get tired, you say something. Got it?”
“Yes!”
Bayul nodded crisply at Logan's warning and rose to his feet with vigor.
Whenever they spotted a strange insect along the way, they stopped to marvel at it; at the shallow stream, they kicked off their shoes and splashed around playing in the water. By the time they finally reached their destination, all three of them were too hungry to speak.
“There are some berries growing near here. I'll go pick some.”
“I'll come with you, Bayil.”
“No, you'll collapse before we get there. I'll be right back.”
This place was as familiar to Bayil as a playground. Whenever Bayul was off receiving treatment or bedridden with illness, Bayil would while away the hours here alone. It was a place he knew so well he could have run through it blindfolded — no exaggeration.
“Logan, look after Bayul for me.”
“Sure. See you soon.”
“Jasper, let's go!”
“Woof!”
Tail swishing, Jasper trotted off at Bayil's heels.
“Shall we get a head start on drinking, then?”
“Didn't we finish it all earlier?”
“We'll just refill it.”
Between drinking and splashing each other in play, the water jug had long since run dry. Logan told Bayul to wait just a moment, then nimbly leapt down to the riverbank below.
“Logan, be careful!”
“What, worried this big brother's going to fall in the water?”
“No, it's just that the current seems pretty strong.”
“Bayul, apparently you don't know this about me, but my swimming is outstanding. Fish-level. So quit worrying!”
Logan crouched down, opened the lid, and tipped the jug into the flowing water. The clean water that would become their daily drinking supply filled the jug with a pleasant gurgle.
“I bet I swim better than Bayil does!”
“Really?”
“That's what I'm telling you. My diving skills, you have no idea how— whoa!”
He'd been so caught up in boasting that he let go of the lid. Swept away by the current, it drifted out of reach in an instant — though mercifully, it lodged itself between the rocks, bobbing gently in place.
Logan hesitated a moment, then made up his mind.
“Watch this, Bayul!”
“…Huh?”
There was no time to stop him. Logan flung off his shoes and dove straight into the water. Then he swam out, as free and easy as an actual fish.
“Whoa! Logan, you're really good at swimming!”
The very moment Bayil was marveling in earnest, Logan — proudly swimming back with the lid in hand — suddenly began to flail.
“L-Logan?”
At first, Bayul thought it was a joke. But he quickly realized it wasn't. It looked far too agonizing to be a prank.
“B-Bayul! My leg — my leg's cramping…!”
Bayul scanned his surroundings, but there was nothing within reach to throw. Going in after him was the only option.
“Hold on, Logan!”
They'd learned to swim together. Bayul wasn't good at it, but he could swim. Tossing aside his shoes and vest, Bayul plunged hastily into the water.
But there was something Bayul had overlooked: the sheer weight of the water. He made it to Logan without incident, but pulling a full-grown boy out of the churning current was never going to be within his strength. The harder he thrashed to break free, the farther he drifted from the bank.
“Bayul! Logan!”
“Woof woof!”
Just then, Bayil and Jasper returned. Jasper raced back and forth along the riverbank, barking like mad, the fruit cradled in his arms spilling to the ground in a cascade.
“Hold on, just a little longer!”
Bayil hurled himself into the river. He cut through the current, closing the distance to his brother and his friend with astonishing speed.
The first one Bayil saved was Bayul. Wrapping an arm around his brother's neck, he hauled them both to shore using only his two legs and one free hand — a swift, seal-like motion, quick and sure.
“Bayil, Logan—!”
“I'm going back for him right now. Bayul, stay awake!”
Without a moment's pause, Bayil plunged into the water again. His strength was all but spent, but there was no time to hesitate. He barely reached Logan and dragged the half-drowned boy upward.
“Hah… hah…!”
The breath caught in his throat. Logan felt ten times heavier than Bayul had. But Bayil did not give up. He pushed Logan up from below while Bayul pulled him from above, and though his limbs ached as if they would tear from their sockets, the deep relief of having saved his brother and his friend washed over him.
“Hah, hah — Logan, you okay?”
“Yeah… Bayil….”
Gasping for breath, Logan managed a reply. “Hah, hah — Bayul? You okay too…?”
“Mm-hmm… Bayil… I'm fine…!”
Then it happened. Bayil, leaning against a rock because he had no strength left to climb out of the water, suddenly swayed. His body had slipped on the moss.
“Aah—!”
“Bayil!”
“B-Bayil!”
It all happened in an instant. Bayil threw out his arm, but before Bayul and Logan could reach out their hands, the current swept him away.
“Woof woof!”
Jasper tore after Bayil like a creature possessed.
“Bayiiiil!”
“Bayil—!”
Bayul's heart plummeted. His brother had vanished before his eyes. He should have caught him. He hadn't caught him.
“B-Bayul!”
The shock was too enormous. Bayul fainted dead away.
“Ugh!”
Logan struggled to his feet. He had to save Bayil. Bayil had spent every last ounce of his strength saving him — there would be nothing left in him to swim with.
But his exhausted body refused to obey, and only his heartbroken scream echoed through the mountains.
“What did you just say? What happened to Bayil?”
His body trembled involuntarily at Duke Randert's fury. Only then did Logan truly grasp what he had done.
The heir of the great House Randert was dead. Because of him. And Bayul, his younger brother, had barely survived.
What happens to me now?
My father?
Our family?
This was not a matter that would end simply. The label of murderer — the man who killed the hero's son — would follow him for the rest of his life, and the House of Randert might well be drowned in blood. However formidable the Count of Seymour might be, his house was nothing compared to the family that had ended the Ten-Year War.
“Bayul, you tell me! What happened to Bayil!”
“Sob! I- I don't know! Father, I can't remember anything!”
He… can't remember?
Logan turned, and Bayul pleaded with him. “Logan, tell me. What happened to my brother… what happened to Bayil! Right? It wasn't his fault, was it? Right?”
Logan stared blankly for a moment at the boy's tear-choked voice — and then, without meaning to, he spoke words that were not the truth.
“W-we went fishing at the riverbank… and Bayul slipped and fell into the water by accident… so Logan and I went in to save him… but only the two of us came out…!”
“So you are saying Bayil was swept down the river?”
At the Duke's thunderous voice, Logan could not bring himself to lift his face. He only nodded.
Thud!
“Brother!”
As Duke Randert collapsed, his younger brother, Viscount Randert, hastily caught and steadied him.
“Then — then Bayil? What happened to Bayil?”
Bayul's face crumpled. There was no need to hear the rest. Shock and terror washed over the boy's expression, and that pain lodged itself in Logan's mind, sharp and unerasable.
He could not look at Bayul anymore. He had stolen the boy's brother — and then pinned the blame on him. With that, Logan left Hamilton and never returned.
Word came that Bayil's body had been found at the river's mouth, but he could not go. He simply could not muster the courage to face the boy.
It was the beginning of a nightmare.
“Gideon, do you know what's been hardest for me to bear?”
Dragging himself back to the present, Logan gave a hollow, self-mocking laugh.
“I was terrified… that Bayul might remember. That the day would come when my lie would be exposed. That fear made every single day of my life an agony. And I can't stand myself for it. I despise what I am.”
—Logan….
“I'm a man with no right to go on living like this. The only word I've managed to say in two years to the friend I finally found again is sorry!”
The guilt he had pressed down for so long finally burst open. He wanted to make things right, but he had no idea what to do or how. Only one thought gripped him now — that he wanted to die as he was.
“Bayil…!”
And once more, Logan's sobbing began.