Becoming an Outsider
As far as my department was concerned, I was a pretentious bullshitter stuffed full of hot air. The reckless stunts and showboating I'd pulled the second the semester started had been more than enough to put me on everyone's shit list.
"Ah, fuck. You think I wanted to be like that?"
More than anything, I'd wanted to look good in front of the girls and show off in front of the guys. I was twenty years old, barely an adult, and it showed. On top of that, I was at a university far from home — maybe that had made me even more reckless.
Up until then, I was just a loud, fun-loving idiot. Then a single misunderstanding set everything in motion.
"Hey! Eun-mi's wallet is gone!"
"What? For real?!"
A girl's missing wallet. That was how it all started. Of course, I had about as much to do with the whole affair as the dirt under my fingernails. The problem was that once people decided they didn't like you, every single thing you did became something to hate — no reason required.
"Wasn't it that bastard?"
"Choi Hong-ryeol?"
"Come on, even he wouldn't be that much of a piece of trash."
I stared at them, incredulous.
"Why the hell would I do something like that?"
Everyone nodded at that. Even with all the misunderstandings stacked against me, I didn't even know who this Eun-mi girl was — and more importantly, I had enough money of my own.
"Still, just in case. Open your bag."
"Wow, you really don't trust me. Fine, look."
I yanked the zipper open and flipped the bag upside down, shaking it out like I was pissed off at the mere suggestion. A cascade of stuff came pouring out — women's products, personal items, and wallets, all of it spilling onto the floor.
"……Wait. This is……"
"Holy fuck……"
"He's insane……"
People stared at me, eyes blown wide with shock. I was right there with them.
"No, fuck! If I were the culprit, would I have opened the damn bag?! That doesn't even make sense!"
A few of the students around me seemed to buy it, at least a little. Most of them just looked at me with disgust.
That was the moment.
That was when I became an outsider.