What the Hell? – Blasphemous Bluffs
The Secret Book was visibly stunned.
-What, what the hell?
Then, with a strange mix of admiration, it added,
-To lie so naturally, like breathing... What kind of rotten personality is this? You'll make a hell of a con artist.
"It was just a light bluff," I shot back, a bit miffed at being called a con artist just for some quick thinking.
-This, this! You don't even feel a pang of conscience? Did you leave your humanity behind when you regressed?
Ah, this jerk. It was just messing with me.
While I bickered internally with the Secret Book, the other side couldn't hide their bewilderment. I'd only meant to humble them a bit and test the waters, but they got yelled at for doubting royalty.
"Are your ears deaf?!"
No turning back now that I'd started mouthing off. When I pressed again, the noble dismounted, adopting a far more deferential attitude as he introduced himself. Some son-of-so-and-so I didn't recognize—clearly no big shot—so I nodded perfunctorily.
Having committed to the royal act, my arrogance naturally bubbled up.
"Where exactly does Your Highness hail from? I'm curious if it's a kingdom I've heard of."
"No reason to hide it. I come from Korea."
I tossed out the name of my old home on Earth, and he tilted his head.
"Korea? Never heard of it..."
Of course not. Even Zeus probably didn't know where Korea was—how would this guy?
"It's a nation beyond Bactria in the East."
"Beyond Bactria? Ho..."
Bactria marked the eastern edge of civilized trade in this world. Rumors said other gods ruled beyond it, but I didn't know the details. Olympus was the center of it all, anyway.
"Your attire is anything but ordinary, so I can see you're someone important."
He said that, but his tone still dripped suspicion. He called me a noble but skipped "Your Highness." He wasn't buying the royalty bit. Still, my outfit was too unique to ignore—vivid colors and ornate embroidery impossible to find here. It screamed extraordinary.
"But why are you alone, without a single attendant?"
Thinking he'd caught me off guard, the noble looked smug. Any highborn would travel with a heavy escort; bandits and thieves infested the roads just outside the city. That's why they built these city-states—security held only within the walls.
"Do you ask the obvious?"
I'd anticipated this one and rattled off my answer smoothly.
"My homeland Korea is worlds away from here. Even the swiftest steed couldn't make the round trip. A man might travel till his dying breath and barely arrive."
As I spun this fresh tall tale, the Secret Book listening in sighed in disbelief.
-Dude, isn't that a bit too much exaggeration?
-You don't get it. When you bluff, go big—makes it harder to gauge, and their ears soften up till they buy it.
-Whoa, so you're not a temple scribe but a budding con man?
-Shut it. Just watch. See? It's working already.
Sure enough, talk of a lifetime journey left him dumbfounded.
"Ah... I see. Then?"
"Thus, I crossed time and space with powerful sorcery. But such advanced magic left me no strength to bring my servants. And this is no lie—I swear it even by your world's greatest god."
Swearing by Zeus was playing with fire. Gods lived here for real. Foolishly deceiving the king of gods could bring lightning from a clear sky.
"Gasp!"
Predictably, he recoiled in shock, and his entire retinue freaked out. Dragging Zeus into a casual con could invoke real divine wrath. They stared wide-eyed like startled deer, bracing for thunderbolts.
But nothing happened.
"Heh."
Of course not. I did come from Korea, and I did cross time and space. No falsehood there.
Then, objective white text floated up in the Secret Book.
Supreme God Zeus thinks, 'That bastard... what the...'
Zeus must've been watching, busy as he was. I could feel his bafflement vividly. The wise king of gods wouldn't miss the truth of my antics. Technically no lie, so no lightning—but clearly absurd.
Yet my bluff yielded surprisingly good results.
Supreme God Zeus finds you intriguing. You've piqued his interest slightly.
Zeus's gaze soon shifted away. I'd name-dropped him, drawing a brief look, and apparently left a deeper impression than expected. Gods here really perked up at oaths, huh? Lesson learned: no more reckless mentions.
I pressed on, toasting the fools before me.
"I've spoken not a single lie—why cower at the heavens like that?"
They uncurled from their turtle-like huddles, straightening with embarrassed looks at my chiding.
"Ahem, my apologies, Your Highness."
The leader cleared his throat, switching to the proper address. My regal garb and unscathed Zeus oath convinced him.
"Then, what brings Your Highness from such distant lands?"
"That's none of your concern. Royalty speaks only to royalty. Go tell them: I've come for the great oracle."
My haughty royal tone shut down further prying. He was calling me "Your Highness" now—aware of the rank gap. His pride stung, but no backtalk.
"...Understood. We'll summon someone befitting Your Highness's station. But we need to confer among ourselves—would you wait?"
"Of course. Be swift."
The noble left his cavalry and went to confer. I lounged on a nearby rock, casually commanding as if it were natural.
"Hey, I'm thirsty. Fetch some wine if you have it."
The riders obeyed loyally, as if rudeness to a foreign dignitary was unthinkable.
"Here you are, Your Highness!"
The Secret Book protested at the scene.
-You scum! Deceiving others as Harpocrates's priest and treating them like slaves—have some shame!
-Watch your words. Who said priest? I'm just a contract clerk. Scribe, old man. You know scribe?
-Didn't he choose you? Then you should be more devout than any priest...
-Ah, delicious. Some folks have mouths for endless chirping like larks but none for wine—truly pitiful.
-What?!
The massive book, translucent and visible only to me, trembled in the air, quivering with rage.
-Hmph! Spouting nonsense. No more talk with an empty-headed fool like you!
With that, the Secret Book clammed up, sulking. Not a beauty worth appeasing anyway.
Meanwhile, a herald galloped toward the castle. No royalty in this bunch, apparently.
"Apologies, Your Highness. Please wait just a bit longer."
The first noble returned with his group, pitching a tent for me and laying out food and drink.
"Someone befitting Your Highness will come."
"My thanks."
I mingled with the Mycenaean nobles, sipping wine and chatting amiably. Everything was going swimmingly—until a sudden realization hit me like a brick.
-Shit! Big trouble!
-Hey!
-......
I urgently called the sulky Secret Book, but no reply. Whatever—I kept talking.
-This could go south bad! I overlooked something.
-Isn't the Mycenaean king that infamous Great King Atreus right now?
The silent Secret Book finally reacted.
-Yeah... right! Now that you mention it, it's that Atreus!
-Ah, we're screwed. If Great King Atreus shows up himself...
A groan escaped me involuntarily. The Secret Book, grasping my worry, perked up gleefully.
-Kyahahaha! Fool! You should've bluffed knowing it was Atreus! Serves you right! I can't drink wine, but I don't pull stunts like you!
-Shut up, idiot. One wrong move, and we're both toast.
Cold sweat trickled down my forehead. Why had I forgotten Mycenae's king was Great King Atreus right now? Too far back in time—I'd mixed him up with later fame.
My blunder...
-Oh man, this'll be epic! Drinking with the legendary tyrant? One slip, and he'll stuff you in a bronze bull and roast you! Kyahahaha!
The Secret Book cackled like its team had scored a comeback goal. I stayed grim.
-Zip it. Brainstorming here.
Mycenae's royal house birthed heroes but was a divine-headshake-worthy dumpster fire. Gods tangled in their scandals—a true demon realm. Their lineage outdid any soap opera.
To sum up Atreus simply: think Goryeo's King Gungye.
-Meeting Gungye for real, huh.
-Who's that?
-A king from my world. Like Atreus. Debate if Gungye was truly tyrannical aside, history says: 'He claimed to be Maitreya, boasted mind-reading via divine law, beat ministers to death with his staff—madness incarnate.' Same as Atreus. Proclaims himself demigod, claims lie-detection, roasts liars in a heated bronze bull. Pure insanity—like Gungye, but worse. He's 'Great King' not for deeds, but roast victim count.
The laughing Secret Book went slack-jawed at my rundown.
-You mouthed off to that psycho tyrant?
-......
I was speechless. Yeah... I had. No good—this wouldn't do. Steal a horse from a noble and bolt.
As I fidgeted, eyeing escapes, dust rose in the distance.
-Fast! Already here?
My heart dropped.
-Guess dinner time. Hungry already.
-What?
-What else? You're the Great King's dinner tonight.
This prick had been ribbing me nonstop. Wanted to clap back, but no time.
Thud thud thud. A gorgeously attired man led a cavalry troop our way.
I jittered anxiously until the leader's face came into view—something off.
-Wait a sec.
-Why? Last words? I'll listen.
-Atreus looks too young! Not the tyrant.
One of his sons, probably. Phew! Dodged the worst.
-Tch, one of that brute's brutal sons instead? Lucky break. Thought regression ended day one.
-Told you. Whew.
Honest relief—I'd been terrified. But as the royal approached, my jaw dropped in fresh shock.
-Wait! That guy's—!