Pirate Buffet
* * *
Captain Aitos was in the worst spot imaginable. He hadn't met the quota demanded by the bosses, and his head was on the chopping block for it.
"The heavens are truly heartless..."
The bosses preferred live bodies over gold or goods, which made things a real pain. It had been fine at first, but supply was drying up fast.
"Heard the fishermen around here are all tapped out... Makes sense, after we've hauled in so many."
Selling slaves had seemed like easy money initially, but lately something felt off. The traders weren't even coming to base anymore, yet the captives kept vanishing one by one.
"Weird..."
"Something troubling you, Captain?"
He considered spilling his doubts to the subordinate but shook his head. "Nah."
Experience had taught him loose lips sank ships—his own included.
Aitos had only recently been promoted to captain. With seven like him at base, it was a sizable pirate fleet. Three bosses ruled, dividing duties equally in a triumvirate. Surprisingly, they got along without knives drawn, solidifying their power. Hence the name: Three-Headed Pirates.
But lately, the bosses seemed... different.
"Man..."
As he tilted his head, a lively crewman piped up again. "What's so weird, Captain?"
"Thing is... the bosses look a bit hunched these days, don't they? Faces changed from a few years back, eyes bulging more too..."
"Yeah, I've heard whispers. Folks saying the bosses look altered."
"Even the crew's talking?"
"Yep. Some call it ominous, others say it's the sea's blessing... I dunno."
"Heh, figures."
Aitos rubbed his dry face with both hands, snapping back to reality. Fail the quota, and those merciless overlords of the ocean's villains would end him—no blood, no tears.
"Let's sail farther out. Hit spots we usually skip."
Returning empty-handed meant a blade to the throat anyway. He pushed deep into uncharted waters. A storm forced them to anchor at an uninhabited isle midway, but his resolve held firm.
"Captain! Captain!"
Where there's a will, there's a way. Just as rations ran low, a prime target appeared.
The crewman rushed up, beaming. "Merchant ship! Drifted in from that storm a few days back."
From afar, the deck crawled with people. Aitos lit up—not at the cargo, but the slaves they'd net.
"That's more than enough for quota! Close in!"
The pirates whipped the slave-rowers into a frenzy. No escape from a wreck. Hooks flew, and they boarded triumphantly.
"You lot! Krahaha! Caught like fish in a barrel! Daring to trespass Three-Headed waters—time this old salt taught you a lesson!"
"Mercy, sirs! We'll give everything we have!"
The merchant captain begged, but Aitos showed no pity.
"Bind 'em all! Huh?"
Mid-roar, he spotted a girl among the grubby men. Stunningly beautiful, out of place.
His crew froze too. Pirates paused, lust turning to caution.
"Whoa..."
Someone gasped at her beauty. But wariness overrode desire. Even these lechers sensed she looked divine. Touch the wrong goddess, and who knew the backlash.
"Sea nymph?"
Worse if some noble being. Aitos drew steel, alert. Then he relaxed. The girl beamed innocently, clothes ragged from the storm, face smudged. No nymph dressed like that. Human, through and through.
Too gorgeous—fooled me. Jackpot.
Heart steady, lust stirred. "Heh heh heh! That bitch looks tasty."
His leer eased the crew. They chuckled too.
"Captain, my turn after?"
"Nah, I've served longer—five years!"
The merchants paled, grasping her fate. But the girl skipped lightly toward Aitos, smiling.
Prey leaping into his arms. Instinctively, he reached to embrace her.
Thwack!
"Gah!"
Stars exploded. Dazed, he hit the deck. Crew screamed, flying through air.
"Aaaagh!"
"Captain! Save us!"
Furious, he staggered up—then saw her. The beauty pummeled pirates with bloody fists, grinning radiantly.
Better play dead...
Aitos squeezed eyes shut. Life was tough.
Watching Atalante vent her rage, I sidled to a corner. A furry bandit-type pirate peeked warily from the deck, sprawled out.
Lucky me.
"Hey, hey. Up. You're the captain, right?"
"......"
"Oh? Ignoring me? Won't stand if I start with the legs."
Typical bully—weak to strong, strong to weak. Brandish steel, and he scrambled up, cringing.
"Who might you be, milord?"
Thud! Front kick. Tooth flew skyward. No implants here—lisp for life.
"Milord?"
Cheeky bastard, "milor-ing" a Spartan high official like me. Pirates had gall.
Grabbed his ankle, dangled over rail.
"Aaaaah! Mercy, sir! Er, milord! Sorry!"
Screams done, I yanked him back aboard.
"Oof!"
"Quit faking. Here."
Sat on a crate, crooked finger. He crawled over, prostrating. Awed by my casual lift of a grown man.
"Aaaah! My tooth!"
"Agh! Bones! My bones!"
Behind, Atalante smashed home runs. Broken bones were lucky; those yeeted seaward? Poseidon's secret.
"Name?"
"Aitos, milord."
"Affiliation?"
"Three-Headed Pirates."
"Dumb name."
Aitos hastily explained: three bosses.
"Idiots, even naming. Tsk!"
"Sorry, milord."
"Base location?"
"Five days' sail from here."
"Good. Head there."
"Pardon?"
He gawked, baffled.
"Uh... milord. Base has 300 pirates."
"So? Small fry."
"You're mighty, sure, but the bosses transcend humans."
"Haha, pirate tall tales. That woman look human?"
Pointed at Atalante. Aitos shook head vigorously. Crew half-crippled, littering deck; sea-claimants unknown.
"Nymph after all?"
"Nymph my ass. Seen a grimy one like that?"
"Peleus!"
Atalante overheard, shrieked.
"Ears like a bat. Enough beating. We'll slave the lot."
Aitos sweated bullets at my base-raid plan.
"Milord, really going?"
"Yep. You too."
"Eek! We'll die—you and me."
"Skip it, die by me now. Choice?"
"...Heavens are heartless."
"Heaven skips scum like you. Snap to."
Ordered him to round up crew.
"Aitos. Planning to drop merchants en route—good spot?"
"Yes, water-rich uninhabited isle. Ships stop for freshwater; rescue quick."
Relayed to merchants. Panic eased to relief.
"Captain, share rations with pirates—no worries."
"Thank you, milord!"
Day's sail: dropped them at isle. Four more days: pirate waters.
"Where's this?"
"South Cyclades. Islets everywhere—perfect pirate hideouts."
True: untouched isles galore. Secret channels led to hidden havens.
"Hate to say, but you're first to raid our base. Navy once tried, burned a few ships, left clueless."
"Bragging forbidden zones? Dead man walking on return."
"Sigh..."
Deep sigh, but no rebellion. Five days showed our might. Three nights back, they ambushed our sleep—seven dead, five sea-fed. No more tries.
"Y'know, I like pirates."
"Eh?"
"Full of fight. Charge knowing death? Manly. Bored? Ambush again. Next: ten to sea."
Casual tone blanched nearby crew. Devil stares.
"Dare not, milord. Channel 'twixt islets to base—hidden core of ring-isle."
"Enter. You're capturing us for bosses. Got it?"
"Yes, milord."
Atalante overheard: "Subdue heads? 300 others fold easy?"
"No sweat. Plan for grunts. Kill heads, done."
She nodded. Indifferent. Storm-weary, craved roofs.
"Same. Might as well seize the lair."
"High station, playing pirate lord on speck?"
"Crew's useful."
Ship entered lair amid talk.
"Whoa!"
Low whistle. White beach topped by coastal village. Bigger than thought: ships aplenty, 300+ souls. Families, slaves swelled ranks.
"Otherworld, alright."
"Milord, serious about taking?"
Forced aboard, Aitos shivered. Betrayal meant doom.
"Shut it. Play part."
"Aye."
Docked: pirates disembarked tense, stiff. No suspicions. Others unloaded loot, bound captives.
"Kyah! Let go!"
Women too. Coastal raids filled gaps. Lustful men groped, leered filthily.
"Kehhehe, firm ass on this one."
"You bitches—I'm hubby now! Krahaha!"
Lawless hell.
"Oh! Aitos! Back?"
Beach pirates greeted eagerly, eyeing haul. Spotted bound Atalante: jaws dropped.
"N-No way! Sea goddess captured?!"
"Woooah!"
Chaos. Her beauty drew crowds.
We feigned bonds, trailed Aitos.
"Scram, you!"
Aitos bellowed, shoving. "Boss-offering! Want your hand chopped?!"
Crowd scattered, fearing touch. Boss-terror evident.
"R-Right? Shoulda said."
"Beauty like that—bosses first. Sorry."
Even captains excused. Grunts glanced, hurried off.
"Atalante, star."
"Men disgust. Gouge eyes."
"Me?"
"...You're exception. Peleus."
Escorted, Three Heads emerged, drawn by uproar.
"Oho! What beauty! Bro! Check her!"
"Gods! Some madman nabbed a goddess! Krahaha."
"Mortal? Divine? Dizzying."
Debated her. Odd looks, though. Human?
All hulking, hunched over 2m. Bulging eyes, fang-teeth on speech. Off-putting.
"Aitos's catch! Impressive. Was gonna rip your head empty-handed. Lucky dog."
"Boss!"
Aitos bowed obsequiously.
"Who're they? Explain."
"Uh... well..."
"Spit it! Real goddess?!"
Laughing, I snapped fake ropes, stepped forward.
"Greetings."
"Hm? What?"
Flummoxed by my move.
"Learned at sea: Vs. pirates, beat first, talk later. Chat after half-crippling works fine."
They bellowed amusement.
"Krahaha! Ballsy! Aitos, explain! Huh? Bitch loose too?!"
Realizing no bonds, they scowled at Aitos. He quaked speechless, pants wet.
"Three Heads. Introduce my fine friend."
Then to Secret Book:
—Bring out cannibal giant Thematos.—
—Understood.—
Riiip!
Secret Book's maw tore wide, thick arm like a cedar thrusting out. Then a savage face grinned cruelly.
Spawn of hell.
"Krhuhuhu, Peleus. Feast laid?"
Cannibal giant Thematos queried. I gestured around.
"Today's a buffet."